All Comments on 'Urban Girl in a Village Ch. 01'

I was unable to finish this story. I stopped reading when you went into a 3rd man licked your armpit.

Some suggestions

1) outline your story. This will help you keep the story line consistent.

2) you know you had the heroine in 2 different outfits on one bus ride. Was she wearing a dress or a pair of jeans.

3) Its clear that English is not your 1st language and that's ok, reach out to the volunteer editors to help you with grammatical, and sentence structure errors.

This could have been a great story. I feel you rushed through it. Which is what caused those issues. Remember you are an artist and your writing is the art. Don't submit it until you are happy with it.

Good luck and keep writing.

Thanks for your feedback..

She's wearing a shirt and jeans pants throughout. I'm not sure where the confusion happened.

Apart from that all the points you said were on point, I'll say.

Readers might feel some confusion in the middle part of the story. I agree.

To be frank, this was a chapter that I wrote long back and didn't bother much to make much changes before publishing.

I assure that from next chapter onwards, I'll correct all the rushing part, confusion and there will be much more clarity in the outline of the chapters..

Keep reading.. cheers.. ✌

you are such a slut! I LOVE IT!

I love stories of good girls getting totally corrupted. I can understand writing part a while ago and part now - it is hard to do a good proofcreading.

As far as not the best Ejglish - it just makes it more realistic. Indians from India are not supposed to speak American grammer.

I hope you become totally slutty! Liberate your slut side, become a real woman as God intended, both i fantasy and reality!

Thank you!

Sorry for the delay as I've been busy with personal life..

More chapters are coming in this story.

And yes! I am getting sluttier in the upcoming chapters..

Love!! <3

Speaking. as a European who has had a two week holiday in northern India, I'm obviously an expert, but anyway...

Yes, girls in Delhi dress in the western style teeshirt and jeans. But in the countryside, sarees were common meaning bare midriff. So why would it be provocative? Yes, schoolgirls wear white pyjamas and a below the knee blue overall, do all women wear something like that in the south?

The rest of the story rings true, the Delhi subway has women-only cars for this reason.

There is a Japanese name for this kind of commuter groper, I think?

I understand your comment about her clothing but it appears to be a grammatical issue it refers to the way she was dressed and not an actual dress.

Tess (uk)

Great story! I ignored the grammatical errors and used the text to give me fairly graphic mental images. It definitely was a rape fantasy. I wouldn't want any woman to actually experience this but it is a very hot dream. I had no trouble picturing the wardrobe and various malfunctions the lady experienced. Thank you.

I sincerely and thoroughly enjoyed this story. Irrespective of the comments from know it alls.