All Comments on 'Vacation Shoes'

Maybe he could just become the Angel of Death and not worry about her at all.

It's a hoot!! Don's whole rap sounded so familiar -- I've read that story plot in another story!! running shoes kept in the bed.

It ended too early. Good spin though! 4stars!

Nice. He avoid trap. And he has a good friend.

I certainly hope you are taking the piss. Trying. To work out which part you didn’t steal. Good for a laugh

So this is Loving Wives Fan fiction? :-)

story? OK but nice references to 'When we were married' 'A moment of clarity( and 'Separate vacation'

Just thinking of your great story

I did read the original Story & YOU made Don into the HERO ..

WELL DONE

Damn, you are funny - appreciated ;-)

Almost bought the farm!

5

Marry in haste, repent in leisure!

5

This poor attempt at a story is a cheap copy of a much better author's work after the eventual marriage and detailing the outcome and settlement without pre-nups. Huge disappointment and should have been rejected by Literotica. Time to get with the NEGATIVE STAR RATING Literotica, this one deserves a whole bunch of them. I don't need a refund, I would never have paid for it in the first place, it's not difficult to smell rat!

still laughing...you had fun with this one.

Another DQS fan I see.

Well done with the combination of understated and ribald humor.

Thanks!

This is a third rate ripoff of “Separate Vacations.” Griscom is lower than whale shit.

Loved it, G! Great story!

wow. definitely a 5⭐

You have a great sense of humor, and I laughed throughout this parody of DQS.

Hilarious Griscom! Great short story 5*

Like the play off of Separate Vacations

Very good. Hints of running shoes under the bed in there.

Still 4 stars from me.

Someone reads as much LW as I do. Pretty funny.

Hey, he was clueless, but at least he kicked the big dicked lover’s ass - super-ninja style, and screwed then dumped the big titted Italian girl! - you gotta take your victories where you can - however small.

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Not sure if this was an homage or a skewering of DQS - probably both, whether you intended to or not. Either way, it was a well conceived and humorous parody. Thanks much.

The references to the works of DQS were amusing.

To be honest it could have been clever but ended up being average. It would have been polite to acknowledge you were taking a scene from another authors work, they deserve the recognition.

The the idea was very jumbled. Liked the concept. But I found it a chaotic read.

Yea, never marry a man with mommy issues or a woman with daddy issues. And Randi had daddy issues a mile long. She was such a bitch in the original story. It's good that a few buds have the power to talk sense into a man about to throw his life away. Pussy can be pretty good, but have you even had a good burger? Honestly pussy is highly over rated. I'v had good pussy, loose pussy, wet pussy....and don't get me twisted, it's good. But it's never worth more than a good steak dinner. A lot of men that allow women to abuse them are mentally hung up on the idea of: "But i'll lose the pussy!" A flesh light could solve their mental block even better than most escorts. Good story. Too many stories of women helping their fellow women, need more guys helping out their bros.

Most of the the first half is actually a précis of qhml1's 'Separate Vacations', so well done for telling the whole thing in a couple of paragraphs. I laughed a lot, thank you for the in-jokes, and the 'Blockbuster' squelch at the end, classic!

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 ohhh I love this tongue in cheek so much. I know some readers might be a bit put out by this but you read through 7 pages of DanielQSteele1 “Seperate Vacations” and at the end don’t want to put that .38 to your own head let alone the protagonist and blow his stupid brains out the back end.

HA! I see what you did there. Fucking fantastic!!

I see what you did there and I approve.

... L🤣L .. a company with a future

I have read the stories back handedly referenced and they was good but WTF the endings

I saw what you did there

Are we supposed to feel for a loser that works at Blockbuster?

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Story gave us lots on Randi…and on Don…..but nothing on the prospective groom. Which made trying to get a sense of “should he or shouldn’t he” almost impossible to do.

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David was totally unappealing. As such, the story was unappealing.

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2 **

Too close to home but I loved the story!

I don't know if I liked or hated that mash-up of several LW story lines.

"Running Shoes under the Bed" with a friend to get the mans' head on straight.

Knowing the absolutely frustrating story this was inspired by, 4* and thanks for the smile!

If you intend to attack the works of other authors...maybe, potentially, at least have the same skills they do? One star.

I think you should have at least acknowledged Mr Steele's Separate Vacations.

Everyone needs a friend like Don.

I forget the story name or the author, but there’s a story on here that includes pretty much everything that was in Don’s soliloquy.

A man with potential that will never be explored. He'd be better off becoming Don's bitch.

a poor rip off of 'separate vacations' and 'when we were married'

Great LW category satire.

The 1 time I get caught fapping to the idea of my own nobility in MY office of the Nassau County State Attorney's Office, someone has to write about it

Loved the "you like money, I'm in Banking"

Needed the laugh

Thanks

😂😂😂 I can't believe he needed to be told why he shouldn't marry Randi. Is he stupid? If her ridiculous plan of them getting separate accounts, where her money is her money and his money is their money.... her wanting a prenup that says if they break up for ANY reason ---- she gets 60% of their assets😕😕.. What insane totally stupid dumb fuck would agree to ANY of that bullshit?😂😂😂😂.. most men would've called off the relationship (fuck the wedding) when she wanted to keep whatever money she makes and his check will go towards ALL the bills. That's not a 50/50 relationship. His friend shouldn't have needed to make him see why Randi calling off the wedding was a godsend. That relationship is as one sided as that ridiculous useless prenup she wanted. This guy was thinking with his dick. This is why the divorce rate is so high. There's a lot of people out here married, who really shouldn't be. Why? Because they were ignoring red flags, they confused great sex with love, when marriage is more than just sex. Sex is part of a successful marriage, yes. but a marriage just based on sex will never last. Had this moron marry Randi he would've signed his death certificate. his friend is right, he would've been her prison bitch. Especially if they end up having kids. He should've been on his knees thanking God for stopping him from making the biggest fucking mistake of his life. That wouldn't have been a marriage. He would've been licking her lovers cum out of her soon. Why? Cause this fool basically signed a prenup saying if the marriage broke up for ANY reason she gets alimony, child support, gets the house, his pension AND 60% of their assets and she doesn't have to give him shit. It don't matter if she makes more than him. Type of bullshit is that?😂😂 this bitch Randi is nuttier than cat pee. I'm just baffled why Randi think any man would jump at the chance to be her bitch in the relationship? If Randi keeps listening to her bitter ass mother, she will die a lonely bitter woman who never married/had kids and lived with 50 cats. No man in their right mind would agree to how she wants the marriage to go. At least not the ones with a brain. I would've loves to hear more from Randi 😂😂🤭🤭🤭.. her sheer stupidity intrigues me🤔🧐. ..I couldn't stop laughing.

I miss the late 90s.

Take that DQS! A 5 all day.

Blockbuster, now that's a company with a future. Nearly LOL'd. Nearly a 5. But a 4 ain't bad. Griscom did good with this one. Would love to see how David fared afterwards.

Oh that was hilarious! Truly superb parody. Thanks for sharing.

Excellent, finally someone tweaked DQS for his self-loathing of the y chromosome

Blockbuster?.............. Seriously?..............

Great story!

Talk about Deja Vu! A great satire of a fine story. Keep 'em coming.

I'm guessing you didn't like DanielQSteele1's story.

wow.... you basically just copied daniel q steeles "separate vacations". Untalented writer who cant even come up with an original story,,, 1 star

A good laugh, thank you. I won't argue about it appearing in LW ('tho I could).

That was an awesome reply to one (two, if you count the equally fun do-over) of the truly epic tales told by titans at Lit. Thankfully, David will not have to look back to the time “when we were married…”Don is the Man!”

Quite a funny parody of other LW stories.

Too bad you included this: "David chuckled. Don, who had a PhD in classical Greek literature, who was fluent in German, and who grew up outside of New Canaan, Connecticut, turned on the Black thing when he wanted to scare white people."

Listen up...those of us who are intelligent and actually educated (unlike the "scholars" that the media promote) DO NOT mimick the the behavior of ghetto cretins. Got it Bubba? And we don't think white people are so much "frightened" by them as they are disgusted by them. I know we are. What frightens us is that certain white and other people project the "ghetto nigger" as normative for blacks. Stop it, and quit capitalizing "black". All it does is make you look like a tool of black grifters posing as intellectuals.

Funny. He just summarized "Separate Vacation."

5 stars for the last line!

Would have been a 3 if I hadn't got to the joke.

I do think though, that the author should have acknowledged the story, on this site, that provided the scenario.

Love it!

Ha-ha, liked cross over with Separate Vacations story

Wait… did u just pilfer the idea from DANIELASTEEL?? She(he) will cry tears!!

Nicely done. Loved the references you threw in there too.

A plagiarized copycat of Separate Vacations. What's the matter, you don't have any original ideas in that pea-sized brain of yours?

Absolutely brilliant satirical take down of some of Daniel Q Steels stuff.

Love it. More please.

A reinterpretation?

What a great summary of that other story not to be named. You hit the nail right on the head. Both the other versions deserved 1 star, with yours getting a 5.

Loved it!

Ayup

There's a company with a future

<snicker>

A solid 5, only because there is no 500 rating. That was the absolute best bitch slap I have read on this site. Well done, Griscom, truly well done!!

Partway down the page and this is pretty much a rip off of “separate vacations, parallel lives” which is a fantastic story (which in itself is a redux to separate vacations)

Loved how Don pretty much summarized that story in his rant.

Main character is a drone for preponderance of story and the characters that throw off heat are on the sideline. Decent ending but definitely room for improvement.

I guess that in theory, this was supposed to be a clever take on Separate Vacations. Sadly, theory doesn't always match reality.

1 Star

Trash.

-26thNC

Hilarious - 5*

This was fantastic. I know what you are doing and loved it.

I feel same way about the author u parodied

That. Was. Awesome.

Absolutely classic.

Looked like a satire on multiple stories by DanielQSteele1 to me. (I think neither the shoes nor of course the noble assistant DA are from Separate Vacations.)

Well-played!!

Kinda funny. Not hilarious but amusing.

Very very nicely done. Not many can take the masters work and improve it . Take a bow. TC Ireland.

Too damn funny. Great one!

Tongue-in-cheek I suppose. Not very good.

3 Stars. Could have been 4 stars but a little too much big black educated gay guy that can see into the future for me. I cool with big black educated gay guys, but the story was not supposed to be about him.

Not a ripoff, but a brilliant parody. Kudos.

The sad thing is that you actually think you could hold a candle to DSQ. What you thought was a hilarious parody was really just a desperate cry for attention from a never-was.

@silentsound and TheArtfulCodger, actually, I think there were more than those two. I'd have to reread, and scrounge my memory, but I think there were at least four stories buried in there!

I see what you did there, and it was hilarious. I know a real life Don, but he’s a medical Dr, and one of the best men I’ve ever known. Man owned a bar while he was still a surgery resident. He played bouncer some weekends, and was so different that some of his fellow doctors didn’t recognize him.

Danny Steele?

Ugh, actually.... Dani Steele.

Oh, a gender thing, huh?

I, guess

What a great satire of “Parallel Vacations”, but the part I really liked was the brilliant humor of Don changing his name to Dontravious (a new one to add to the likes of Jamal, etc.) and getting an Afro wig to fit the University’s stereotype of a token black man so he could get a job. And not only that, but the stereotypical BBC dude is actually a normal, very intelligent man who also happens to be gay. Refreshing.

~

I also liked the way that Don pointed out that any couple thinking of getting married should always share everything, especially bank accounts. To not do so indicates a lack of faith in the other partner – not a good basis for marriage.

~

Wonderful, thanks Griscom.

This was great. LMAO. 5 Stars

There is no cure for stupidity. Or hope for the sad sack main character in this story.

Agree with Anon ‘Separate Vacations’ (original!) Griscom coulda/shoulda changed at least SOME of the aspects like Sweetie Mom (workplace, marital history, financial attitude, etc.) and Sweetie’s career, support requirements, plans to take kids on SepVacation, future boffing heavy-hung horndogs as she is on phone w/Hubby. Plus Hubby’s present video-rental job and future success as a writer… just to name a few!

Only odd thing … where/when did Hubby eventually going to Law School get into play? Not suggested in this tale except in Don’s presience, nor in SepVacation.

I will leave original score instead of going on new LIT format to change my rating.

Thank you for putting in to words of the truth of every worthless closeted small dicked, self esteem lacking, self loathing, cock hungry cum dump cuck here.

Well done. This could almost put a shine to LW but cuck stench doesnt wash away that easily.

Exactly 😂

Congratulations; funny as shit. I suspect Dinky Queer Sissy is pissing in his silk panties. I would encourage a plethora of February-style followups, but I don't think the available writing pool has the horse power needed. Too bad, as there are A Bunch of potential targets from other faux writers. How about a guy who keeps putting his bitch retriever out for breeding, for 73 chapters, from ex lab lover? Or the guy who's wife is a gorgeous plastic surgeon, who ditches her husband and children in America to perform face lifts on poor African kids so they can all become Michael Jackson impersonators, when she gets knocked up by Tiger Woods after accepting his request for a dance? Now that's what I'm Tolkien about. Thanks for the wit, imagination, and the effort.

Clever….

Who knew there was so much hate for DQS1 out there, or so many people willing to overlook the fact that this writer is a total racist and maybe the biggest asshole on the planet?

You had me going at first.

It ain't no Wingman. I really liked Wingman. Sorta Candide gets laid. And, you redeemed Malibu Barbie at the very end! Such a deal...

This one seemed like what it was... somebody dressing up in a funny shirt and getting... well, uppity.

Not that I'm against uppity. Some of my best friends, and all of that.

BTW - if you look at the alternative self publishing sorts, getting in touch with DQS isn't impossible...

Green-something