All Comments on 'Vacation with Family Friends Ch. 01'

The story starts out in the third person then changes to first person about a quarter of a page in. On page 3 it changes to another person's perspective without warning. Did you even reread it once before posting?

That was intentional. I guess i thought it was clear when the frames change, but i guess it could be distracting. Just trying new things. Thanks for the feedback.

hope there are more parts. want all 3 to have real phone sex. Also kind of odd neither kid complained to their parents about just one bed

Ha ha. Nice story. Twisted minds!! Great read.

Man this was great. Cannot wait for the next part. Hope it comes soon!

Part 2?

Any plans for chapter 2?

Yeah part 2 is coming!

I love it! The plot set-up yields predictable outcomes, but the story is well written and doesn't suffer from it. Erotic and steamy, your pacing is consistent and the action is so easy to visualize. Both main characters are young and god-like: Alice is a true goddess whose actions and mannerisms followed my desires, and Justin's body and ability to fire hose his cream is just sooooo unreal and perfect for this story. I think we all need a few more god-like players in our lives. :) Also, reading a bit from Alice's perspective was wonderful and gave sultry insight into her thoughts and desires. On to part 2!!

It sounds like Alice might have to break up with Alex as he sounds like a jerk and might not even like Alice. I hope Alice and Justin ends up together.