Valerie Ch. 09

"I've got some things to do to get ready with your gift. Can you drop me off at Castle again? I'll get home by cab again."

"Sure. Be careful, I don't want you submitting to Rachael again, not until we've established some guidelines about limits."

"Don't worry, I arranged to have the stuff shipped so I don't have to go in there again. I won't need a dominant."

At Castle, Giggy and Rachael were working alone. Valerie thought this would be the best chance she would have to talk to Rachael about yesterday.

"Rachael, can I talk to you about yesterday?"

"Actually, I was hoping to have the chance. Let's go over here."

They walked over to an empty display that was in the middle being restocked.

"Valerie, did you go past you're limits with me yesterday?"

"Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk about. I allowed it to go too far and I wanted to apologize. I should've used my safe word."

"Giggy told me after you left that she thought you had gone past them. I honestly didn't realize. Why? Charles told me you were good at recognizing your limits."

"I…It's a little embarrassing, but I wanted the gift so bad that I'd do anything to finish the purchase."

"Well, first, I want to apologize, I should've been more aware. But, Valerie, if you'd used your safe word, we would have stopped the play, not the trip. I trusted you when you said you weren't past your limits. We'll have another, longer time together and I need you to be certain. Yesterday was only a taste of how I dominate. Imagine that and harsher for two days. I need to trust you."

Valerie shuddered at the thought of two days of Rachael. "I promise. I'll use my safe words. Will you promise to watch me more carefully?"

"Deal. You're a wonderful submissive and I'm looking forward to using you."

"I hope I can please you."

"Now, what else do you need?"

"I need a cat, something special to use on Sally."

"Oh, so you're going to dominate Sally. This will be interesting. They're over here."

There was a small selection of cats, most differing as to color and not much more. One stood out. It had a multicolor bundle of strands and there was a penis shape at the end of the handle. Looking closer, she saw that it was an actual dildo, shaped like a cock.

"Oh, that's a good one for shows. Those colors will fluoresce under black light and there are black light projectors at Mephisto's. You need to be careful though. Very hard strokes could leave the fluorescent materials on the submissive. Light strokes or short duration is the key."

"That won't be a problem. Is there someplace we could try out the glowing?"

"Sorry, we're too well lit. I can promise you, they're spectacular to watch."

"I'll take it."

At the counter, Giggy was making small talk while she rang it up. "So, have you had a chance to look for a new job yet?"

"No. There was some stupid email from someplace called Delgrasi Publications."

Giggy stopped and looked up. Rachael turned around. "Did you say Delgrasi?"

"Yes. Do you know them?"

"They're only the publishers of the best fetish magazines out there. They produce high quality mags with a professional style and taste. They have the only bondage magazine that shows bondage that real people will use. If not for the ad quality, they would be perfect."

Rachael picked up where Giggy had left off. "Sex toy ads are always so tactless and crude. It's like all the ads were written by 19-year-olds. Giggy, is our new copy of Sappho Digest under the counter?"

"Yeah. Take a look, Valerie."

Valerie took a look at the magazine. She was used to the cheap end pornos that focused on only titillation, every story about someone's wild fantasy or escapade. This one had three advice columns, one on relationships, one on medical issues, and one on how-to questions. There were articles on sex and erotic stories, but there were also helpful and informative articles on non-sex interests written from the lesbian view point. The ads were horrible. Like most special-audience magazines, the ads took up almost half the space. You'd think the advertisers didn't realize that they were addressing a woman audience.

"I see what you mean. I'm not lesbian and I would love to get this magazine. Those ads, ugh. That email. It was an invitation to apply for a job. Do you think…?"

"Valerie. Did you answer them?"

"No. I thought it was some offer for story rights."

"God, girl. Reply. You need a job. Their corporate headquarters is right here, not two miles from the store. I mean, why seek out an ad exec, unless you think you need one. Tell me you didn't delete it."

"I…I'm not sure. It's recent enough I can recover it if need be. Do you suppose someone heard all the news and thought that I'd understand their advertisers? You know, my company, or rather former company, had a strict rule about not accepting sexual advertisements. It's almost an industry rule. Too much chance of a boycott. If I were someone who received lots of sexual ads, I'd have an in-house ad executive. My God, this could be perfect. I'll have to answer them tonight."

Valerie's mood was almost ecstatic when she arrived at Mephisto's. Her practice session went well with Surmi and the intense pain slut thought the glow in the dark whip was perfect. Back at home, she shared the news with Sally. Then she called up her email, making use of a nearby unsecured wireless signal. Seeing she hadn't deleted it, she activated the link.

The web sight she went to was a job application site. It was as she hoped. The company had created a new in house advertising specialist and was seeking resumes. She filled in the requisite fields, attached her digital portfolio and turned to the letter. She decided that she had nothing to lose by straight forward and aggressive honesty. She wrote a letter that emphasized her marriage of strong advertising background with a presence in a sexual fetish lifestyle that would bring a player's perspective to advertising in their magazines. She emphasized her familiarity with the subject matter of seven of their magazines and a willingness to become familiar with the others. Checking it over several times, she made a few changes and sent it off, fingers crossed.

Valerie and Sally enjoyed a quiet evening watching TV and eating pizza. They went to bed early, the moving having worn them out. Valerie took a while to fall asleep, worked up about the prospect of another job so soon. That it seemed to come about as a result of her pubic exposure was all the better. She hoped that the turn of events over the course of this week wasn't too good to be true. This life that was being rebuilt from the ashes of the previous life was still fragile.

Sally and Valerie were woken by the haunting sound of Mike Oldfield's Tubular Bells. Sally was confused by where it could be coming from. Valerie, however, recognized the sound of her cell phone's Exorcist theme song ringtone. Rolling over, she grabbed the phone and answered.

"Yes, this is Valerie Burbon."

"Ms. Burbon, this is Calvin Freshin. I represent Delgrasi Publications. May I have a few moments of your time?"

"Yes, of course. I wasn't expecting such a quick response to my application."

"I start my day rather early. I was looking over your letter. I'd like you to elaborate on why your being active in a fetish lifestyle will enhance your ability to help produce quality advertising for our publications."

"Yes, of course. If I may be frank, Mr. Freshin, the ads that you currently run in your magazines show a certain immaturity. It's as if the advertisers have no idea just who the target audience is. For example, in your latest issue of Sappho Digest, you have ads that talk to a desire to see your lover begging for more of your manhood. I doubt that men make up a large portion of that magazine's readership. An ad such as that can actually cost you readership. I'll be honest, I'm new to the fetish lifestyle that I am in, and so I haven't read any of your magazines. I have developed numerous contacts in the fetish world and will be able to bring that borrowed expertise to my work. As your advertisers are able to better target the audiences they are speaking to, your readers will notice the improvement and the word will spread that your already good magazines are even better. I don't have to tell you how important word of mouth is to niche publications such as yours."

"I see. You seem very confident of yourself. Can you explain how you came to be released from your previous position?"

"Branford and Gashune made the decision that my services were no longer required. I'm not at liberty to discuss their reasons. I'm sure that they would be able to elaborate on their reasoning."

"I see. Would you be able to come in for an interview tomorrow with our hiring committee?"

"I would be honored. What time will be good for you?"

"10:00 in the morning. Do you know where our offices are?"

"Yes. I'll be there. Thank you."

Valerie cut the connection. Turning to Sally, she saw the smile on her face being reflected back at her. "I've got an interview. This could be it, Sally. The job I love working for the lifestyle I've embraced. Pray to that God you worship, Sally, that I'll be hired by Delgrasi."

"I will. Things have a tendency to work out. What do you want to do today? We don't need to move anymore, thanks to the guys."

"I want to visit Francine again, make sure she's getting out tomorrow. I'd like to see Lilly, see how she's holding up at the agency. What do you want to do?"

"You mean other than make passionate love with you sometime? I want to take you to dinner, a date."

"That's sounds like a wonderful idea. We've been running around like chickens with our heads cut off for a while. Where do you want to go?"

"I was thinking about Gatsby's."

"Gatsby's? Isn't that…"

"Yes. It caters to gays and lesbians primarily. The food is really good, and it's someplace you can go to dance where your partners won't expect anything relationship-wise or sexually. And, I want to share you with my lesbian friends outside of the D/s lifestyle."

"Sally, I'd love to meet your friends. I learned Monday that I'm still bothered by sex with women, other than you. But friends, I'd love to have. Will they be offended that I'm a one woman bisexual?"

"No. There are as many bis as lesbians among my friends. Being bi myself, those more stringent lesbians aren't in my circle of friends. Every group of people has its bigots, even ours. You'll be just fine."

"Thanks. I guess I'm just so nervous. It's a bit like going to see your beau's parents." She thought a moment, realizing there was more to it. "No, that's not it. Sally, in the last month, my life has totally changed. My sexuality, my loves, my career, even where I live. I'm giving Master a gift that will make me even more deeply embedded in the lifestyle than I am now. I'm frightened. I'm scared of what I'm becoming. I look back four weeks and I don't even recognize the woman that was me then. Who am I, Sally and who will I be in another four weeks? It's all happening so fast. And I can't get off."

Sally reached over and hugged Valerie. She was crying lightly, shaking a little as the magnitude of the changes she has already experienced and the ones that were rapidly coming made themselves felt, yet again. "Val, I don't know who you'll be in four weeks, except that you're my true love right now, and you'll be that in four weeks, four months, four years or four centuries. That'll never change. All these other changes, whether good or bad, have drawn us together. No matter what else they bring, I love that they brought you to me. Change is frightening. When I first submitted to Master, my life was turned upside down as well. I lost friends who didn't understand my attraction for the lifestyle and the multitude of partners. The friends I have now accept me for who I am. You'll love them and they'll love you. It's all right to be scared, just don't let the fear paralyze you."

"I know. It's just so overwhelming. Sometimes the submission is the easiest part. Let someone else take all the responsibility. When I go to Master's and let all of you use me, it's so relaxing, even when I'm being whipped or tormented with sexual denial. All I have to do is let it happen and cry, 'red light,' when it's too much."

"I hear you. That's why I hope you can take charge every once in a while. Take me and make me yours. I like to relax too."

"I think I can strap it on and make you beg on occasion. Let's shower together. There's not enough hot water for two."

They had to shower quick, skipping the sex that was so inviting. They decided that they had to get a new hot water heater. They measured the available space and made their first stop Lowe's. Since they were planning to move things from Francine's, they rented a U-Haul again. They did wonder how Fred and Daphne survived with such a low capacity of hot water. Two hours later, they had an appointment to have the new heater installed Friday afternoon. Next stop was the hospital.

They found that Francine had been moved from ICU to a normal room. When they reached her new room, she was looking much better with the lack of tubes and wires.

"Francine. You're looking a lot better. How are you feeling?"

"Valerie. Physically, I'm good. Mentally, I'm still a basket case. There are still nightmares. I still can't feel much. I can't even feel for you. It's just not there. Why can't I feel anything?"

"Francine, I'm not a shrink, but it probably hurts too much to feel. You were savaged, physically and emotionally. The emotional hurts were worse. You're trying to protect yourself, much the way I did when Mike died. In your case, it's just too much to hide from. You need professional help. Let yourself get helped."

"I'll try. It's so hard. Will you be there for me?"

Sally answered for them, "We both will, through it all. And so will a lot of other people. Everyone in the scene knows how horrible what happened to you was. Our big fear in this life is that our trust will be betrayed. That's why we try to be so safe. They all want you better. You're not alone."

Francine started crying; unable to comprehend the level of support she was being extended. She still couldn't feel hope, but she believed that she might feel it soon. Sally and Valerie sat with Francine, letting her know that they were there for her, for an hour. They found that she was to be released at 2:00 in the afternoon on Friday after a final checkup from Helen. They rescheduled the installation for later in the afternoon and drove out to Valerie's old office building, shortly before noon, when Lilly would normally take her lunch.

Valerie smiled as she saw Lilly, expertly giving instructions to a couple of visitors. Once she was free, "Lilly. How's the job?"

"Oh, Ms. Burbon. It's great. I think it's going to work out. What can I do for you?"

"We were wondering if we could treat you to lunch."

"That would be great. I have so much I want to talk about. Our last talk really helped me with some things. I'll be off in ten minutes."

"We'll wait over there."

Lilly joined them after 15 minutes and the three walked down to Great Wall again. After they had ordered, Valerie started things. "So, Lilly, how is the new job working out? Is there any fallout on you since I was fired?"

"No, but there were a few people who wanted to know if I knew 'what you were' when I applied. I told them that, yes, I did know, you were a good friend and a good ad person. They got the hint."

"That's great. I love your answer, it shows class. Have you thought about Saturday?"

"Yes. I think I'm going to come and try to watch. I might have to leave if it's too much for me. I still get butterflies when I think about what you all do."

Sally piped up, "Lilly, we would never want you to go past your comfort zone. I'm honored that you're willing to try, and that you've chosen to accept Valerie for who she is and not try to change her."

"I thought about it, I'll admit. But I just couldn't do that. It dawned on me that what makes Valerie such a good friend is what makes her such a good… what is the word, submissive. She loves to give of herself. That would be like chopping down the forest to get rid of the bugs."

Valerie remembered that Lilly had said that she had something to share. "Lilly, what did you want to talk about?"

The young lady actually blushed. "I…well one was to tell you that I was going to try to be there for your handfasting." She hesitated, seeming unsure of herself. "The other, it's kind of embarrassing."

"Take you time. If it's too much, don't feel obligated."

"Frank, that's my boyfriend, he was a…reading about you in the a…paper. He knows you wrote my letter of recommendation. He a…This is so embarrassing. Hewantsmetotiehimup." The last words were barely understandable, having been rushed through so fast.

Sally took Lilly's hand and looked at her, making eye contact. "How do you feel about that?"

"I don't know. I mean he doesn't want me to do anything really bad…damn, that's not what I meant."

"It's okay, Lilly. We both know your feelings on things like whipping. It's not the end of the world. What does he want you to do?"

"He wants me to tie him to the bed and make love to him. When he can't do anything to control what's happening."

"And does that have any appeal to you?"

"It's kind of…" Her face went beet red, embarrassment visible to all. The arrival of their food gave her a chance to recover a bit. "I kind of want to. He cums too fast usually. He always gets me off too; he's really good about that. But I never get to feel him in me when I cum. If I was in control, I could slow him down, maybe." By the time she'd finished, her face was red again, and she couldn't look up. It's not that she wasn't used to talking about sex, it was the nature of this kind of sex, something she never thought she would be interested in.

Sally took over, "That might actually work. Especially if he tells you what he's feeling all the time. Lilly, it's up to both of you. Both he and you have to want to participate. You could try it once and if it's too bad don't go back to it. Sort of like a first date. If you don't like the guy, you don't call him back. Make a first tie-down date, with the understanding that it's to see how you both like it. If you don't, it never happens again. You're both curious, so check it out. I can even loan you some safe bondage stuff that will keep him from getting hurt. Most of the things novices try aren't very safe.

Lilly looked at the two, thinking about what Sally had said. "Does this mean that I'll want to do all the things that you do to each other?"

"No. There are lots of people who don't go for whipping or spanking. In fact, Mephisto's sets aside Wednesday nights as a no pain night. All the paddles and whips are locked away and any play is more subtle. There was this one guy, he came every Wednesday with his sub and they put on a show of tying her up. He had some of the most beautiful rope ties that he put her in. You wouldn't believe how much a really good binding can enhance a woman's, or man's, beauty. They even have fliers on how to safely make some basic tie downs. Lots of beginners come on Wednesday because things are less threatening."

"And they're not looked down on, the ones who just like the lighter stuff?"

"No. In fact, it's a mistake to think of it as lighter. There are pain people who can't handle a really good tight bondage. Sometimes, immobility is intense, all by itself. I should be honest, there are elitists in the lifestyle who think there's only one right way to play, but they're a minority and getting smaller. If you showed up with just questions and curiosity, you'd be accepted, as long as you showed respect. I know you'll do that."