Verbena

"That seems a great deal of trouble for a girl you find frustrating."

"A trait we have in common," he teased, giving her own words back to her.

"Why are you doing this? Why can you not simply let me go?"

"Because you are mine, Verbena. You are mine and I will not allow you to slip away now that I have found you."

"Found me? You hated me the moment you saw me."

"I adored you the moment I saw you and that is why I was so angry. I adored your temper and the way you ignored MY temper and how incredibly frustrating you are and how you stood up for yourself and for Lyla, though you only knew her mere moments. I could no longer stop pushing you away, so I would have you. Own you. I would not allow you to use me or deceive me, I would own you. Use you."

"Because a woman hurt you once?"

"She destroyed me."

"She does not represent all women and it is unfair for you to punish all women for her mistakes."

"You imagine she's the only one? Do you not remember why I told you that you would stay on my arm Friday night? To keep the vultures at bay, all of them, vipers. They want money, not a husband. They want power, a higher station in life, money. They care nothing for me, only what I represent. I allowed a few in at first, looking for comfort after losing my wife. They were all the same, demanding lavish gifts, demanding we name a date before we even had time to come to know each other, lying to me. That was what bothered me most. It didn't even matter to me, but every one of them came to me claiming virginity, but for me they would give themselves and their innocence to me. As if they did not realize that the men all spoke of them and we all knew who had been with whom already. They lied about it and acted as though they were offering me everything. Whores, all of them. I didn't care about it, but they imagined they were some great prize they were giving me. Lying only made me hate them, made them repulsive. Would you lie to me, Verbena? Tell me you come to me a virgin?"

"It would not be a lie! I've never even... I'd never even kissed a man until you forced yourself on me!"

"I know," he whispered. "I felt your innocence that first night. Taking your maidenhead with only a finger, part of me felt abominable for that. Mostly I felt powerful. I would own you wholly. I knew you weren't lying when you said you'd never kissed a man. I still cannot imagine a girl such as you being so blind as to imagine you were not beautiful. No man ever told you, truly?"

"Papa."

He chortled then. "Someone who wasn't OBLIGATED to tell you, though he wasn't lying."

"No. I think you underestimate how little I got out. It was why my father insisted I go out into the world a few years. A year here, a year there. I was planning on being a governess for a year here, then going north and learning the old ways of herbalism. After that, going all the way to Mjennic and learning their way of medicine with stones and needles and spirituality. Then to Lucana to learn the ways they have of inducing future visions with herbs in an enclosed cocoon."

"If you were to behave... do as you were told and stop planning on escaping, I would take you to all of those places. Let you learn those things."

"Why? What would you get out of it?"

"A wife. A wife who doesn't look at me and see a lord, or gold, or a mansion, or land. A wife who doesn't stare at herself in the mirror and demand clothes to set off her figure so people will look. A wife who gives as good as she gets and is smart and... frustrating. A wife who blooms for me so beautifully. Who I wish to make love to, but refuse to go that far until she is my wife."

Verbena lay there in his arms, quiet and horrified. He wanted to MARRY her? She had to get away from him!

"And if she says no?" she asked softly.

"Then I will have to settle with her belonging to me. Having her satisfy me as I please and seeing her satisfied as well," he growled.

"Why not let her go? Court her as you would a..."

"Because she has made it very clear she has no love for me. No love for any man. How am I to compete with a lifetime of learning if that is all she desires? Unless I take what I want. Show her that there is room in her life for both. That I would not clip her wings?"

"I will think on it," she whispered, but it was a lie. All she would think on was how to escape him. She actually thought she might know a way.

Curling against him, she pretended to fall asleep, but in her head she made plans.

She'd hardly slept when morning came and he seemed irritable when he woke up. Angry that she had scorned him.

Laying on his back, he shoved the blankets down and grabbed the back of her neck. Pushing her down roughly, he pressed her face to his still limp cock. "Satisfy me," he growled.

"Let go! You're hurting me!" she pleaded.

"Not until you've sucked me dry, pet," he hissed. "Do it now or I bend you over and take your ass instead."

Verbena whimpered and took hold of his cock, trying to move her head enough to kiss it so he would let her up enough to do what she needed to. He allowed her movement, but didn't loosen his grip, hurting her as he jerked her head down and thrust his hips up. She was crying out, sobbing and wailing around his cock, but he was relentless as he held on with both hands and slammed into her throat viciously.

He had TOLD her how it could be! He had given her a choice! SHE chose this path, not him! He growled angrily as he closed his eyes and blocked out her wails.

Verbena collapsed, trying to suck in air after he finally let her go, rolling on the ground where he had shoved her off of him.

"Get out," he demanded. "Go to your own room and dress. NO! Do not touch those clothes! Go as you are! Hurry, if you are late to breakfast I will punish you right there at the table."

Verbena ran, horrified, hoping no one was in the halls. She made it to her room and dove into her clothes as quickly as she could, then ran downstairs to the dining room. She was sitting in her chair breathing heavily when he came in and stood near his chair.

"Anne! Bring me the large, flat paddle stirrer you use to mix the lye with."

Anne took off and Gideon yanked Verbena up, shoving her over the end of the table, her feet dangling a foot off the floor. Shoving her skirts up and piling them on her back, he leaned over her.

"Cry, kick, scream all you want, but if you strike out at me or try and escape, you will get it worse," he snarled, then yanked her underclothes down.

Verbena was shaking and when Anne came running back with the huge, flat paddle with a three foot handle, she broke into sobs before he even took it from Anne.

"I told you I would punish you for running," he spoke loudly, grabbing Verbena's wrists and pinning them over her skirts in the small of her back. "What do you think disobeying me is worth, pet?" he demanded. "Go too easily on yourself and I will double if not triple it."

Verbena shook her head. "I deserve no punishment for trying to escape from a monster! You are holding me here against my will! It is YOU who should be punished!"

A heavy blow landed on her bare backside and Verbena let out a shrill scream, her terror climbing at the horrifying pain.

"Answer me, pet! Anne, what say you? How many does she deserve for being so wicked and disobeying her master?"

"At least ten," Anne spoke up. "But no more than fifteen."

"Harsh, but I would expect no less. Ten might break skin. Are you prepared to take care of her if that happens?"

"I will do what I must to see you happy, sir, even if it means sewing her up after you beat her bloody. She'll never do it again if you give her a hard enough lesson the first time."

"What do you think, pet? Fifteen?"

"It won't matter!" Verbena wailed loudly. "Do your worst and prove you are the monster I know you are!"

With an angry growl, he drew back and landed an even harder blow.

Verbena screamed shrilly, then went limp, sucking in air as she struggled to breathe.

"Still want to talk back?" he demanded, leaning over her.

"Sir, something is wrong," Anne spoke up quickly, looking at Verbena's face.

Gideon dropped the paddle and moved around to look at Verbena's face, the way her fingers twitched and jerked and she was struggling to get air in. She looked terrified, staring at nothing.

"What's wrong with her?" he demanded, half worried, half livid.

"I don't know, sir!"

He moved back around and eased her off the table, making her scream again. Laying her down on the floor, he looked her over in real worry now as she stared around her, unseeing and her hands closed and opened sporadically.

"Verbena!" he yelled in her face.

She didn't respond, not even to flinch.

Growling, he dropped down next to her, looking her over helplessly. "Anne! Go get Alex! Then send Nate to get the medica! Run!"

Anne ran and moments later, Alex came trotting in quickly. "M'lord?"

"She's hurt! Somethings wrong with her!"

Alex dropped down next to her, his face red. "M'lord, I know the mendin' of animals! Never mended a person a'fore!"

"Just... Try!"

Alex nodded and leaned over her. "What was she doin? She chokin'?"

"No, she wasn't eating... I was... spanking her."

"Spankin'? Like... hittin' her?"

"Yes," Gideon snarled. "Spanking her! With that paddle there, bent up over the table. I smacked her and she did this!"

"Ahh... sir... could ya pull up the skirt a bit, I need to see her hips'n legs. I'll look away and you cover what ya need to."

Gideon quickly yanked her dress up and he immediately saw the issue. Her hip was out of place, drastically so. He sucked in a breath and Alex turned to look.

"Oh... oh m'lord, that ain't good. S'plains why she's gone to the world, she's in a great lot of pain. Probably'd pass out if she could. You'll need ta send for the medica, I cain't do this alone."

"He's been sent for. What can you do in the meantime?"

"Not much. Give'r sommin' ta make her sleep. Pass out. She's just a little thin', can't put a wallop on'r like you would another. She'll break easier than most."

"Anne! Get her something to make her sleep!" he called as Verbena sucked in another loud, labored breath, her eyes still wide and unseeing. "Why can't she pass out? You said if she could?"

"Every tiny movement is a new pain, not just one small pain that lasts on'n on where yer body makes ya pass out from it. It's a dozen bursts of pain every minute. Imagine the worst pain you ever had, then add on a flare up of ten times that every few seconds, every breath, every small movement. She's in literal hell. If she could, she'd be beggin' ya to finish her off."

"Anne, hurry up!" Gideon yelled, horrified at what he'd done. Laying down next to her on the floor, he stroked her face. "You'll be fine soon, Verbena! They're going to fix it! First we'll help you sleep so you feel nothing and when you wake you'll be just fine again. Look at me, Verbena. I shouldn't have hit you so hard! I'm sorry! You're just so frustrating! I just want you to want me as I want you! And I had to punish you for running like you did... I should have realized I couldn't be so hard on you! "

"Here sir!" Anne called, bringing in a cup she was stirring quickly. "Sit her up a bit but lean her head back."

Verbena cried out hoarsely when he sat her up, then moaned pitifully as tears leaked out of her eyes. She half choked on the mixture Ann poured down her throat, but Anne stroked her throat until she swallowed. After, Gideon didn't put her down, he held her up on his lap and stroked her hair until the medica arrived.

Between him and Alex, they were able to put her hip back into place, her waking and screaming when they did, then her eyes rolling up as she passed out, sweating.

"She'll be sore when she wakes, maybe in some pain too. Just have her drink two drops of this in water if the pain is too bad. No more than three if it's more'n she can stand," the medica told Gideon.

Verbena woke, the pain hitting her so hard she could only whimper and mewl as she tried to move.

"Shhh, Verbena, I'm here. What do you need?" Gideon asked.

"Am I dead? Am I to be tortured forever in this afterlife?"

"Hush, Verbena. You're just fine. Do you need anything? A drink? Some toast?"

"I hurt!"

"I have something that will help that," he whispered. "Sit up a bit. Here, drink this," he told her, putting a cup to her lips.

Verbena grimaced at the taste and knew she'd just been given the wrong medication. She was going to hallucinate and lay unable to move, but still be in pain and the pain would twist her hallucinations into horrifying ones. The drug had been outlawed in the capital a decade ago.

Immediately, she shoved a finger down her throat, trying to bring it up.

"Verbena! What are you doing, stop that!"

"Poison," she managed, pulling away and trying to do it again. She gagged, but didn't bring it up. She tried again and then again, but there was too little in her stomach. It was starting to hit her and she began slumping as the shadows from the fireplace seemed to distort and then creep closer. As if they were coming for her.

Terrified, she tried to run, but her body was unable to move.

She was drenched in sweat and shaking uncontrollably when she came out of it. On a small cot near his bed, she knew she had relieved herself more than once while under the influence of the poison she'd been given. Probably why she had been moved to the cot.

"Miss?" Anne asked, standing up from a chair near the fire.

"How long?" Verbena asked in a hoarse whisper, still feeling dizzy.

"Just a moment, I'll be right back with Gideon," Anne called, rushing out.

Verbena managed to sit up, then get her feet over the side of the cot, though it hurt so badly that she was sobbing when Gideon arrived.

"Verbena! Verbena, what's wrong?!?"

"I hurt," she whispered. "And you poisoned me."

"No! No, the medica told me to give you two drops! It was a painkiller."

"It's a drug! It doesn't take pain away, just makes you lose your mind and makes you unable to move. If you're in pain when it starts working, you hallucinate terrifying things, dark and twisted! And the pain is still there! That poison was outlawed because they found it did not help, it only does harm to the mind! Lasting harm! That medica is a charlatan! He needs to be replaced immediately! Before he kills someone! MORE someones! I can't imagine how many have been lost to his negligence!"

"Hush now, Verbena," Gideon whispered, holding a cup to her lips. "Only water for your throat. Anne, make her a soothing tea for her sore throat. There you are. Anne! Have them bring up the tub as well! You'll be just fine soon," he whispered to Verbena, stroking her cheek. "Don't feel ashamed over the accidents, I know you..."

"Why should I feel ashamed? You poisoned me! You allowed that man to poison me after I TOLD you that he was inept! I have no shame for something not in my control! You did this! If there was any justice in the world, YOU would have to clean it up instead of making a servant do it!"

Gideon looked away, his cheeks going red. She didn't know if it was anger or embarrassment, but she didn't care.

"Have you admitted it yet, Gideon Donovan? Seen it in yourself? Do you KNOW now that you're a monster? Or do you still have some excuse as to why it is all someone else's fault?"

"Enough!" he roared, turning to her.

"As I suspected. It will never be your fault, will it? Another did this to you, another turned you into this, another made you steal a girl, use her in wicked ways, then beat her and hurt her multiple times! It can't be you acting on base, animal instincts without a care for anyone else! It..."

"I SAID ENOUGH!" he roared, taking her by the throat and shoving her down to the cot.

Verbena said nothing, only looked up at him with a look that told him he was proving her point. Finally, she spoke as he held her there, his teeth clenched. "Does this make you feel powerful, Gideon? Hurting a girl a quarter your size and half your age? Does this make you feel like you're in control? Are you in control, Gideon, or are you allowing the animal inside you to have control?"

"Not another sound, or I will fill your mouth and choke you with my cock."

"The animal then," she told him as if she pitied him.

He let out a sound of furious anguish as he stood and slammed his door shut, locking it. Turning back to her, he unfastened his pants as he went to his knees and yanked her down to the floor. Taking two fistsful of her hair, he pulled her hard against his crotch. "Start sucking, bitch," he raged.

"You're hurting me!" she cried out, grabbing at his hands and trying to get her legs under her.

"NOW!" he commanded, letting go with one hand and pressing his cock to her lips. "Open your FUCKING mouth! You want to open for everything else! Now fucking choke on it!" he raged, shoving his cock into her throat as she screamed around him. Struggling weakly, she batted at his hands and hips, trying to gain a breath, but he held her tight, shoving his cock in further and deeper, forcing his way in as she gagged and choked. When she went still, he stood, letting her fall off limply onto the floor. After a second, she sucked in air and twitched slightly, then coughed and sucked in air again as her arms tried to move.

He stood watching her until she managed to get her hands under her and push up weakly. As soon as she did, he took hold of her arm and dragged her to the bed. Sitting down, he pulled her to her knees in front of him, pulling her face back to his cock.

"Satisfy me, Verbena. Do it well and do it quickly, or I won't stop next time."

Verbena wavered there, her hands on his thighs as she blinked and tried to clear her head. "I'm going to be sick," she whispered.

He had only a moment to spin her and hold her up off the floor as she vomited violently, her entire body heaving. Again and again she heaved, then finally went limp, her head hanging.

Gideon growled in frustration at her and himself.

Picking her up and carrying her, he unlocked and opened the door. There were men waiting out there with the tub, as he knew there would be, along with servants hauling water.

Anne carried the tea in, her eyes down. "For when she wakes," was all she said as she set it on the nearest table. "I will have Josie clean that up."

"I'll fucking do it," he snarled. "Bring me a bucket and rags and soap... whatever the fuck I need to do it!"

"As you wish, sir," she nodded, then hurried out.

As soon as the tub was half full, Gideon pulled off her nightgown and set her in the water, holding her up as he began scrubbing her gently.

She woke when he lifted her slightly and her head rolled to his shoulder.

"I hurt," she whispered, her body going tense. "My head... my... everything."

"The hot bath will help," he told her gruffly. "And there's natural herbs in the tea, none of the drugs the medica left here. You can drink it as soon as I have you clean. Is that the last of the water, Josie? Have them come take the cot out of here."

"Yessir, I'll also get to cleanin' that mess."

"I'll do that, leave the bucket where it is."

"Sir?"

"My penance," he scowled with a sour twist to his mouth.

"Anythin' else, sir?" the middle aged woman asked.

"No. Yes. Have Anne ready her big chair in my office. Pillows and blankets and an ottoman. As comfortable as she can make it. I will bring Verbena down when I am done and I want a hot broth for her as well as the tea. Bring... bring Lyla in to sit with us as well. Next to Verbena's chair."

The woman left and he turned back to Verbena and finished washing her, then dried her gently without saying a word to her. Dressing her as tenderly as he could, he picked her up and carried her down to her chair, settling her in before leaving the room.