Vicki's Story Ch. 01

"Well, well, well. You dirty little bitch. There's a dark side to you, isn't there." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

The fact I was wearing female undergarments, never slowed her down one little bit. She pulled down my panties and pantyhose, my cock sprang out like a coiled spring. She sniggered. "Looks like somebody is an eager little beaver." She wrapped her hand around my shaft giving it a little stroke. "Hmmm very eager." She giggled.

Then suddenly, she leaned down and her mouth slid down over the head and she sucked me deep into her mouth. "Oh my fucking god." I yelped. "Oh Jesus Christ what are you doing?"

She looked up at me with a coquettish eyes. "Don't you like having your cock sucked?"

I stammered awkwardly. "This is my first time."

"Ooooohhhh a virgin hhhhmmmmm I love virgins." With that her mouth opened and she sucked me back into that burning liquid furnace. After minutes of my moans and whimpers she lifted her head and smiled. "Heh, heh seems you like baby." Her mouth slid back over sucking me back in.

Sweet mother of god this was amazing. Her head bobbed up and down sliding and gliding up and down my swollen shaft.

I couldn't take too much of that I had to try and get her off my cock. I was dying to feel my dick inside her. I rolled her over and pounced clambering up between her legs until the head of my cock nudged its way inside. I tried to control myself and take my time but it was impossible.

In serious lust, my blood pumping frantically, I fucked her hard, ramming deep into her quivering gash as I went deeper and deeper. "Fuck me baby, fuck me hard." She bellowed. "Fuck me, oh god, oh god yes." It sent me over the top and I came like never before. It felt like my balls were being sucked out through my dick.

It was a sweet time, for me. Petrice, and I became regular lovers...well at least friends with benefits. We were just too different for anything more serious. I never managed to click with any of her friends and she wasn't really interested.

We were on different paths. The sex was wonderful and I learned a lot from her. But I found myself drifting further and further into the swirling vortex. I spent most of my private time dressing. The feel of silk was wonderful and magnetic. It drew me in and for me, there was no escape.

Petrice did fill a gap in my life and when she left I felt the dark void. She loved the foot rubs and massage although she screwed up her nose when I kissed her feet after she had been wearing those tall patent leather boots. I tried to hide the fact that as I slid them off I managed to sneak my nose in for a smell. She noticed a couple of times and admonished me like an errant little boy.

We drifted apart which, although painful, wasn't entirely unexpected.

Petrice and I stopped seeing each other. Mostly because, as kinky as she was. She wasn't looking for a girlfriend. I guess my loneliness became apparent. My room-mate noticed and invited me to a party being held off campus. It was at a house in the suburbs that a group of basketball players from Cleveland State leased. It wasn't really my scene, but it would be a chance to meet some new people.

When we got there the place was rocking. There wasn't even standing room. There must have been over a hundred people sprawling out onto the lawns and every room seemed packed. There were a couple of kegs going and the moment we walked in a beer was thrust into my hand. Maybe that was my first mistake? I had never really mixed with these guys. They were all jocks and they were huge. I felt completely overwhelmed. I didn't know anyone, apart from my room-mate, who had disappeared. Everywhere I looked there was wall to wall jocks. I was definitely out of place. At least there were girls everywhere and I thought I might try my luck.

I hung around where the girls all congregated, At least they welcomed me in. I managed to break into their conversation easily enough because they were talking about my favourite subject 'fashion'. I talked and laughed along with them and my cup runneth over.

I don't know how much I drank, but I was feeling it. Karla, my new bestie, noticed I was going green around the gills. "Babe, I think it would be best if you had a wee lie down in my room." She led me up to her room.

"You lie on the bed sweetie, you'll feel a little better in a while." She then left to go back to the party.

Laying on the bed, helped, and in no time, I was up and wandering around her room.

I don't know what I was thinking but I started to peek in her closet. Wow she had a fabulous collection, oh my god I was stunned, it was amazing, I stood staring in total awe.

I couldn't help but pull out a dress and hold it up against myself. I paraded back and forth in front of the mirror like a model. I laid the dress on the bed and rummaged through her shoes oh my god there was everything from Jimmy Choo's to Louboutin's. Who was this fucking girl?

This wardrobe was worth megabucks. As I rummaged through the collection I was in heaven. There was a pair of silver Prada heels that must have been five inches at least. I lifted them up inhaling the musky aroma. I couldn't help it. My mind was spinning and I wasn't thinking clearly. Her feet were almost the same size as me. I slipped on one shoe and although it was a tight fit it looked magnificent. I managed to squeeze into the other and I walked in front of the mirror giggling stupidly at my reflection.

I scoured her laundry basket finding a pair of worn Wolford thigh highs. I hastily ripped off my jeans and pulled them slowly up my legs luxuriating in the sexy smooth feel. Once they were on I slipped the Prada's back on and they slid on fitting like a glove. The moment my foot was in, I was in love.

I just had to pull on the second and before I really knew what I was doing I was walking around in her silver Prada heels. It wasn't enough. I slipped back into her wardrobe there was a Kalvin Klein little black dress hanging there looking enticing. I nervously slipped it on. Goose bumps, it felt so delightful, so smooth. God It felt so amazing and it looked fabulous. Exhilaration overwhelmed me, as I spun around, I felt like I was on cloud nine. Just as I was getting into it the door burst open and there stood an enormous guy. Mistake number two I should have latched the door properly.

The moment he saw me an evil smirk filled his face. "Well, well, well what do we have here?" He muttered.

Mortified and embarrassed, I spluttered. "I ummm I wasn't feeling well."

"Oh baby you look fine to me." He walked up and spun me around. "So the little sissy likes to dress up huh?"

I shook my head but he had my arms in a tight grip, I whimpered. "Please if you could let me go I will get changed."

He was massive, tall enough to have to duck, when walking into a room. "Oh no little girl you ain't going nowhere." He grabbed my hand and placed it on his cock. "Not until you have dealt with this motherfucker anyway."

Now I was frightened beyond belief, he was so big and his grip was so strong it hurt.

"Come on little lady, don't just hold it, you gonna have to work your magic if you want it."

I don't know if it was fear or the booze but I let him move my hand up and down his fattening cock. Even through his jeans I could feel it, and it was growing bigger by the second.

He roughly pushed me over towards the dressing table. "Better put some lipstick on little girl you gonna need it."

I was just standing staring at him with tears filling my eyes. "Please, please just let me go, I won't say anything, I promise."

He just sneered and pushed my hand onto the table until I had a tube of bright red lipstick in my hand. "Go on girl put it on and you are going to need plenty."

I smeared on some of the lipstick with shaky hands. I was drunk, I was scared and my whole body trembled. As I sat in front of the mirror piling on the lippy he waved his cock in my face. I watched in horror as he stroked himself. I was transfixed watching his hand stroking that enormous cock and he was getting bigger and bigger.

He spun me around on the chair and forced my hand onto his swollen engorged shaft. "Now little girl stroke it, show me some mother fucking love." Again he moved my hand up and down the throbbing shaft which was now right in front of my face.

My hand glided up and down the velvety shaft. His hand gripped my hair and pulled my mouth up against the head. "Open those lips little girl. Suck my cock." His painful grip on my hair hurt like hell. My mushy brain refused to work. I opened my mouth and he pulled me down onto him. "That's it sissy suck that cock."

He pulled me back up then shoved me back down, then back up and down forcing me to suck him. His cock throbbed growing even bigger in my mouth.

I was frightened as his guttural moans intensified and got louder and louder. "Fuck that's it bitch suck that motherfucker." He pushed down hard and I felt it pushing into my throat. I couldn't breathe and panicked. I tried to push him off as he held me down hard. His pubic hair rubbing all over my nose, his balls hard against my chin. I thought I was going to die. He ripped me back up and his cock popped out of my mouth. Saliva dribbled everywhere. My tears streamed down my face as he pulled me up painfully by the hair. "Get up bitch I want that fucking ass." Now I was really scared.

He ripped my briefs down and pushed me down over the end of the bed. He flopped down on top of me crushing me down into the blankets. I felt his wet slippery cock between my legs and I screamed. "No please no. Please don't do it, I am begging you."

He laughed as I felt his cock nudging against my ass. He pulled back sharply on my hair and I could see the anger and lust in his eyes. "Shut up you little faggot you are going to love it."

"Please no, don't, I beg you. Please stop." I screamed.

Just then the door burst open and two more guys barged in. "Whoa Grant what the fuck man." My rapist barked.

"Shut the fucking door man." he snarled angrily. The two new arrivals pulled the door closed behind them The tall guy who had walked in was obviously a basketball player as well. "Fuck I want some off that fucking ass when you are done man." They hi fived, laughing hysterically, as I cried.

"Please, just let me go. I won't tell." I pleaded tearfully. The little guy standing by the door pulled his cock out and started masturbating furiously. The expression on his face was somewhere between wanton lust, and embarrassment. Maybe even sympathy, but, it didn't stop him spanking his monkey though.

The guy behind me growled huskily. "Listen bitch if you keep fighting, this is going to hurt a lot more. Just relax you gonna love it." He then stuck his fingers in my mouth. "Lick them bitch get them wet so I can lube up that ass, hurry bitch or this is gonna hurt."

The tall guy Grant walked over and flopped out his cock. "Open those fucking lips sissy and suck my mother fucking cock."

Tears streamed down my face as I sobbed and cried.

At just that moment, Karla, the girl who's room we were in threw open the door. "What the fuck!" She screamed furiously

"Get the fuck out," The tallest guy barked. "Just go back to the party, and forget you ever saw this."

"Those are my clothes." She squealed. "Oh my god, stop it." Our eyes met, and she saw the fear. "Leave him alone you fuckers, he's frightened."

He let me go, and that's when I made my escape, grabbing my jeans, I barged between them.

Bursting out into the hallway, I was met by laugher and shocked expressions everywhere as I pushed them aside.

Staggering down the stairs, still wearing her heels, I bumped into my room-mate and the moment he saw me he burst out laughing. "Jesus fucking Christ, what the fuck."

I roughly pushed my way past and burst out side. There were sniggers of laughter and jeers as I ran through the crowd. My face still smeared with that lipstick. I was scared and embarrassed. The humiliation was overpowering. My life was over. Everyone would know. I would be a laughing stock around campus. The look of revulsion on my room-mate's face summed everything up perfectly. He would tell everyone.

The moment I was back in my room I dived into the shower trying to wash away the shame, but I couldn't stem the tears. How was I going to front up tomorrow? Gary my room-mate would be laughing his ass off. I had no option but to run. I was getting as far away from this hell as possible. I still had money. Nan had left me a handsome little gift which at least would now keep me fed.

I quickly dressed and packed all my stuff into the car. And I was out on the motorway headed for god knows where before I realized if I was stopped by cops I would be fucked even now I would still return a positive DUI test.

Cars flashed by as I drove, tears flooded my eyes. I couldn't wipe them away fast enough. I felt the waves of shame and humiliation rush over me. I drowned in embarrassment. My life was over. God, what would Mom and Dad say? Everything I had been working for was gone. How could I face the world now?

After driving for a couple of hours I saw a hotel vacancy sign flashing just off the motorway and pulled in. That night or what was left of it vanished in tears. I curled up on the bed, in a fetal ball and sobbed my heart out.

IT was late in the morning when I woke. The night had been full of questions, what to do? I was no closer to a solution although, what I did know, was I couldn't go back to school. The shame was overpowering, nothing made sense. What a fool I had been. First I needed a plan, but what, where? I jumped back in the car and headed west. I just drove my mind going round in circles.

Toledo was upon me before I realized. Toledo, yeah it's far enough. I didn't know anybody and I could start afresh. I pulled into a subway restaurant and ordered something to eat and a coke. Everything felt so god damned crazy. I kept lambasting myself for being a damn fool. What the hell was I thinking. I could feel the tears welling up and had to keep wiping my eyes. As I used my napkin to wipe my eyes, I noticed a newspaper, 'The Blade,' lying on the table. Mindlessly, I scrolled through finding 'situations vacant' and sieved through the ads. There were plenty of jobs but nothing that excited me. As I walked up to get rid of my rubbish I noticed a staff wanted poster.

Standing behind the counter was a guy going over some sheets of paper, obviously the manager. I walked over and asked about the position.

He gave me a brief interview, I guess they get all sorts, because he didn't really care. I filled in the form and he hired me on the spot.

As we talked, he asked if I needed somewhere to live. When I said yes, he directed me to a nearby apartment complex, Meadowood. As I drove up to the complex, there was a big sign, 'available now. Single bed furnished studio.' Perfect. I gave them a call and booked in to see through one.

The agent was really nice and the apartment although small would do me well enough. It had off street parking and appeared to be a reasonably safe area.

After finishing the paperwork and seeing off the agent I flopped on the bed. "Oh my god what the hell am I doing?" I couldn't answer my own question. My parents were going to freak out when they discovered I had run away. Dad would be so disappointed in me. He would be even more disappointed if he knew what happened. I can almost see the disappointment in his face thinking. "Why didn't you just bite it off?"

The one thing I knew for sure was, there would be no more dressing up... I never wanted to go through something like that again... God, just remembering it brought back the biting, shameful humiliation.

Subway turned out to be a fun place to work. It was busy and the people friendly.

One of the girls Naomi, was cute and funny. Not pretty in a classical sense but, she always had a smile on her face and was incredibly outgoing. She was studying psychology at Owens Community College. It didn't take long before we were more than just co-workers. She wasn't looking for a serious relationship and all I was looking for was confirmation that my masculinity was still intact.

Naomi was perfect. She had her own place and didn't want to stay over very often and she loved sex. I took out all of my uncertainty and self-doubt out on her. Selfishly, I used her to rebuild my self-esteem.

It only took a couple of days and my mother called to chat. Case Western had been in touch with them trying to find out my whereabouts and what was happening. There was plenty of gossip swirling around the campus. She never said as much, but I sensed she knew more than she let on. She was of course worried and wanted to know what was going on? Was I alright? I lied and told her I just had a bout of uncertainty and was not sure about what I was doing and I was taking some time out to find myself. She was sceptical and tried to talk me out of it.

She begged me. "Please Fran just come home. I am sure your father can smooth things over at school." I whined. "Sorry Mom but I don't know what to do. I am OK but I am not going back to school." She didn't sound convinced, she was worried. "Fran... you're not doing drugs are you?"

I laughed. "No Mom I am not into drugs I just feel a bit lost." At least we parted on a good note as she confirmed her love for me.

Life sort of flowed along. I tried to suppress the cross-dressing urges. I just couldn't stop thinking about it and the harder I tried the worse it got. Addiction is like that, impossible to suppress. Slowly I started to slip back into wearing just panties under my work clothes. Then it was stockings or pantyhose and a garter or sometimes if I was feeling brave a corset.

I loved the corset. The feeling of restriction was so comforting and arousing at the same time. I loved that it gave me a more feminine shape, curves. Then before I realized it, I was back into dressing all the time. Unfortunately, it led to the demise of my relationship with Naomi. She found my stash of clothes and cosmetics and thought that I was cheating on her. I was too embarrassed to tell her they were mine. Although, when I think back, it was when she found a pair of her stilettos and some of her stockings among the stash that was the deal breaker. Whatever it was, our relationship was certainly over.

It made work uncomfortable. Let me tell you it's hard to work with an EX, especially when she's telling everybody about your most secret desires.

Subway was only a couple of miles from my apartment so I walked to work. As things between Naomi and I got worse, I noticed that one of the Gas stations I walked past had a sign out looking for staff. Long story short. I got the job.

With Naomi a distant memory and feeling low, I began to get deeper and deeper into dressing.

Getting my ears pierced was the first step. It probably sounds weird but, sitting in front of the mirror and trying on earrings was such a cathartic moment. It might not be a big step, but it was the first.

I only wore sleepers at work but, a couple of guys gave me a hard time.

It wasn't just the earrings, I started plucking my eyebrows. Not too extreme but, a more feminine look. Less bushy.

I started growing my hair longer. I still had to wear wigs and I hated that. I disliked that it was fake. I brought only the most expensive wigs but, they were still fake. I waited expectantly for my hair to grow. I couldn't wait until I could get it styled into something stylish, something feminine.

With every passing day, the urges grew stronger, urgent. It got to the stage I spent most of my weekends dressed. As much as I loved it, I couldn't fight off the feelings of claustrophobia. Locked in my apartment for the whole weekend was debilitating.

It became more than an obsession, it was quickly becoming my life. I loved the feeling being dressed gave me. I quickly realized, this wasn't me dressing up, this was me. This was who I wanted to be. Fran wasn't real, he was who I used to be.