Vicki's Story Ch. 01

I loved makeup, the feel of it, the smells and I loved how feminine and sexy it made me feel. With every passing day, I got better at applying it. I developed techniques for masking Fran. I loved looking in the mirror and watching the transformation, the gentle change, as Fran disappeared and 'Vicki' emerged. It gave me goose bumps. I had a cupboard full of cosmetics. I spent countless hours watching tutorials on make up for males making the transition.

My only problem, the claustrophobia. Being dressed was great but, it meant I was locked in my tiny apartment for the whole weekend. As I got better at applying my makeup and I developed a look that I liked. I started to wonder, could I go out dressed? Could I pass? I spent hours walking back and forth in front of the mirror until my confidence was high enough.

What finally gave me the push was some of the Gender fluid influencers that I followed on You Tube. Listening to their life stories, seeing their journey's. If they could do it, so could I.

At first, it was after dark. Just a short walk, enough to get fresh air. Each time I went a little further and each time my confidence grew. One bright sunny Saturday afternoon I got brave enough and wandered out into the daylight. It was only a short walk but, I loved being out of the apartment, the feeling of freedom. It didn't take long though. The feelings of insecurity quickly took control and I had to get back to the safety of home. I almost ran back home.

The next day, I went a little farther. The day after that, farther again. The evenings were my favorite, I felt the darkness, it gave me a certain anonymity.

As I got braver, more comfortable, I went further. Always at the back of my mind was the fear, I expected to get laughed at or mocked but strangely, as I walked around, I realized nobody appeared to take any notice. If they did notice, then they didn't care.

It wasn't just the dressing. I loved being Vicki. I practised female mannerisms, I worked endlessly on my voice.

When I was younger, I hated my voice, it had always been squeaky, mousy. I envied the guys with the deep baritone voices. I longed for a voice like Barry White. Now I realized, Vicki had always been there and my voice was just another part of that. It was using it, I had to work on, knowing what to say and what not to say.

I worked on the hand gestures, the quirky little things girls did.

Weeks passed, and every day I ventured further from home. I went grocery shopping. I went clothes shopping. That's where I expected the worst reaction. Strangely, the shop assistants were marvellous. If they knew, they said nothing. I loved my new persona. I called myself Vicki, my Nan's middle name, Victoria. It was my tribute to her. I loved being Vicki so much, it got to the stage I hated going back to being little old plain Francis.

As Vicki slowly took over, the realisation sank home. Francis was dying. All he did was provide a job and income. I came to hate him, Francis wasn't me. It was a cathartic moment, an epiphany if you like. The only thing keeping Francis alive, was my job. It was a shit job and I hated it anyway. It made me think and I started looking for a job Vicki could do. Something that allowed her to blossom.

What I needed was something where I could be myself. I scrolled through the papers and internet. There was just nothing for somebody with my limited experience. I saw lots and lots of jobs for receptionists and office juniors but, it would be difficult, as all of my identification was still under Francis.

I was determined though, somehow, I would make it work. Vicki's evolution continued. My hair finally grew to a workable length for a stylist. I found a local salon that catered to people on the fringes, alternates. I Spent a fortune on a full body wax. Pedicures, manicures, full facials. The girls were lovely and treated me so nice, I loved it.

The catalyst that allowed Vicki to emerge permanently was a guy I met through one of my co- workers. His sideline was, specializing in fake ID's and documents. He could organise drivers licenses and the whole works. It was a little expensive and dodgy as fuck but what the hell, I decided to risk it.

He gave me a funny look when I turned up at his apartment dressed as Vicki he looked at my name, and details, his shifty eyes kept going up and down my body. He got a dirty smug lecherous look on his face. "So you dress up huh, is this really you in there?"

I blushed but nodded. "Yes, I am transitioning to female."

He grinned as he looked me up and down. "Sweetheart if you are looking for a date, then I am your man." I was a little shocked and flustered. "No thanks, I am not gay."

"Hey I ain't judging doll, plus if you want to make a little more money than you're making, I have a friend who produces porn. He specialises in Trans and cross-dressers."

Now I was really blushing. "No thanks, I just need the ID for work."

He grinned. "Your loss honey." He looked like he didn't believe me. Still he organised my new documents.

Now was the hard part. Now I needed to get a job. I knew that asshole would tell my co-workers about the cross-dressing so I needed it quick.

Turns out I wasn't wrong two days after getting my ID the funny snide looks and sneers started. It was embarrassing, and a little scary but, I stuck it out because of the money. After spending weeks trolling through the jobs wanted, I finally saw one. A receptionists job at a down town Asset Management firm.

I spent the next day going over my resume. I wasn't hopeful but, hit send. I was surprised as hell when I got a phone call asking me to go in for an interview.

On the day I panicked, I spent hours working on my appearance. I needed my makeup to be perfect. As I pulled my apartment door closed, I looked back at the pile of clothes I left on the floor. I swear, I tried on every single item I had. Of course, there were limitations to what I could wear. I needed the corset, and I had a padded bra but, it meant I needed to wear a dress with a high bodice and a collar. I chose a nice pencil line skirt and to set it off, I chose a lovely cream, silk blouse.

I fronted up to the interview feeling completely overwhelmed. Their offices were in down town Toledo and it was the more upmarket part of town. The buildings were new and as I got out of the elevator, the first thing that took my eye, was the number of people. There had to be somewhere between thirty and fifty people working here. I strolled nonchalantly up to the receptionist. "Hi I am Vicki, I have an interview at ten with Mr Johnston."

She smiled back at me. "Take a seat in the waiting area. I will let Geoff know you are here."

As I sat in the plush waiting area the receptionist walked over carrying a cup of coffee. "He won't be a minute." All I could think was, "Does she know, can she tell?"

About thirty minutes later she came and picked up my cup and led me into Geoff's office. He stood and walked around his desk to shake my hand, and directed me to a seat across from his desk

Smiling warmly, he picked up what must have been my resume. "OK Victoria, or can I call you Vicki?"

"Vicki, is fine." I smiled back.

"Good, thanks. So what made you apply for this position Vicki?"

"It's not too involved actually." I smiled, trying vainly to quell my racing heart. "I need a job. When I looked through the classifieds this position stood out. I did some research into the different companies this one looked the most reputable."

He smiled. "Good answer. Did you get that from one of those websites?"

I shook my head. "No that's just me."

"Vicki I can't help but notice you have absolutely no experience in this area, in fact you have a very limited resume, nothing that even vaguely resembles our requirements." His gaze deepened, "What makes you think you are who we are looking for.?"

"Geoff I will be honest. You are right, I have no experience but I am an intelligent thoughtful person. I take nothing for granted and I am a hard worker. If you saw your way clear to offer me the position, I would not let you down."

He frowned thoughtfully, as he peered at me over my CV. "I am sorry Vicki but, every young woman who walks into my office says the same damn thing. What I am looking for is something more."

I wasn't sure what he was getting at, was he hitting on me? The look on his face didn't make me think that. "Geoff I am studying business management and computer science online through Owens Community College. It may not be as illustrious as Case Western but it is pretty good. My goal is to move into something far more substantial as soon as possible. This position is a step towards that goal. I figure I can learn a lot more about how companies work from the inside. It will be good experience for me."

His facial expression changed and he looked at me with a far more serious expression.

"Geoff I promise if you offer me the job, I will not let you down. I am honest and trustworthy."

He leaned back in his chair chewing on his pencil, and threw my resume down on his desk. "OK Vicki, we will give you a shot. You start Monday." I was stunned at the decision. Just like that? I was expecting it to take days or weeks. Not knowing what to do I stood up and reached out to shake his hand. "Thank you Geoff. I promise you won't be disappointed." He smiled right back at me. "Don't you want to know how much it pays?"

I shook my head as I walked away. "No thanks it will be fine."

I couldn't believe it. He never even questioned my appearance or my voice. I didn't exactly jump with joy but inside, my heart was aflutter. I knew that this was the start of my new life as Vicki.