Vicki's Story Ch. 02

Chapter Two:

I would like to acknowledge two friends who helped with this story. Vicki, and Tim. Thank you.

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With my new job secured the hard part was how to begin.

I was at a loss really. What does a receptionist do? I had plenty of computer skills. I mean I was way past computer literate. I knew more about computers than most technical staff. I was fluent in most programs especially the Microsoft suite. But I had never worked in an office environment. WTF does a receptionist do?

As I contemplated my life I knew receptionist wasn't what I wanted from my time on this planet. More than anything I needed to finish my studies. I just couldn't afford it without a job. I booked in through the local Community College, Owens, for an online degree in computer science coupled with a business management diploma. After enrolling and paying my down payment I checked my bank balance. I was far from destitute but those fees left a big dent in the balance. I definitely needed that job.

What was I going to wear? What would be appropriate?

I jumped on line and started to research secretary receptionist. All sorts of images popped up and I started to put together a shopping list. 'Yay shopping'. I jumped in the car and headed straight for the Franklin Park shopping center. My list was long but my purse was shallow so it was imperative that I made each selection count. I went with mix and match outfits so that I could have something new every day without changing the whole outfit. Business chic was my aim.

My downfall was the shoes. Oh, damn it, have I mentioned I love shoes? I spent hours trying on just about every pair in the mall.

As I wandered around the mall it became apparent that I was getting a lot of attention from men. It was obvious by their rapidly turning heads as I walked by that men found me attractive.

From the moment at the party I had been pushing that memory to the back of my mind. I pushed and tried to forget. Of course, that is impossible. You can't just put it in a cupboard and forget it. There are theories about compartmentalizing thoughts and actions but it wasn't working for me. Now as I walked through the mall, I noticed the leering sexual glances. It all came flooding back. Light bulb moment as they say. I loved Vicki and if I was going to live as Vicki I was going to have to learn to accept that.

Monday morning my first day on the job. I got up at five in the morning to start getting ready. I sat at the mirror looking at my face. Of course, I got a case of the nerves as I toyed with giving it up as a bad joke. What the fuck was I thinking? I couldn't do this! I started to apply the makeup. And as I did Vicki started to emerge and as she appeared my confidence grew layer by layer. At the end as I surveyed my work I nodded. 'Pretty good.' I was happy.

Weird as it sounds once Vicki is out I feel so much stronger, better prepared, ready to take on the world. As the bright red lipstick slid creamily on my lips they started to look fuller. I love the feel of my L'Oréal it's texture so soft and creamy and delicious. I loved sliding my tongue over them once applied. It made me feel so womanly and sensual. I like to accentuate my eyes which are bright blue a quirky throw back to my German heritage on my mother's side

My confidence did take a hit as I walked into the office and found myself surrounded by people. The anxiety levels soared. Every time I met somebody new, I expected to have my secret revealed. My body literally trembled with fear, but also the underlying shame. What in gods name was I thinking, I was never going to pull that off. Somebody would out me and my world would crash around me. Thankfully Abigail, the girl I was replacing took me under her wing and dragged me from office to office introducing me to everyone. Returning to the front desk Abby, as she wanted to be called, showed me through the list of duties. I could see right from the outset this was going to bore me to tears.

Collecting and delivering mail, directing incoming calls, guiding visitors, making coffee. Fuck what a joke! Still, it was a start. At least I would get to see the workings of an office and I could pay my bills. It was going to be a means to an end. I could work on establishing working relationships.

The week was pretty busy as I familiarized myself with my co-workers and colleagues.

The real bonus was Vicki... Every day my confidence levels grew, I started believing I could do it. With that confidence, the real Vicki emerged, brighter, outgoing. The shy awkward boy dissolved and Vicki became the dominant voice in my head.

Finally, she was free and I loved it.

By the time the weekend rolled around I was shattered. Some of it was my own fault. High heels are sexy as hell but, they are hard on the feet. It had been a tiring week. I was also hanging out for some time to catch up on my studies. Computer science is hard enough on campus but to do it online was doubly hard. There were student forums and what not but, it was hard not having anyone to actually talk through issues with.

Monday morning was upon me before I had really recovered and it was back to the grindstone. The moment I got in it was on with the coffee machine and await the arrival of everyone else.

As the morning started to unfold I was delivering mail to Geoff, I noticed he looked particularly tense and he was cursing under his breath. "Something wrong boss?" I asked.

He chuckled, "Yeah Excel. Damn spreadsheet is locked up and it's not goddamn working."

"Oh, I see. Would you like a hand? Maybe I could help?"

He laughed, a smug depreciating look. "No thanks Vicki, I am in enough trouble as it is." I dropped the mail on his desk and as I did I had a look at the screen.

"Geoff, I do know a little about Excel you know, I might be able to help."

He looked exasperated. He flung his arms up in the air and pushed himself back from the desk muttering in an angry condescending tone. "Yeah go on, its screwed now anyway, you can't make it any worse."

I wanted to say something caustic in response but I bit my tongue. I checked the formula he was working on which was tied to several different sheets. looking across the multiple screens I saw the problem and it wasn't that difficult. He had simply transposed one of the formulas and had the value set incorrectly on the donor sheet. As I worked through, I noticed that he had targeted the wrong cell which was also screwing up the other sheets.

Looking at the balance sheet I corrected the formula and reset it. "There you go Geoff." I turned and walked out with a big smile on my face.

Ten minutes later he walked out to the front desk where I was working. He looked grim, but contrite. "Vicki, I am sorry I was short with you, it was rude of me and I apologize."

"Don't worry Geoff, I wasn't offended. I could see you were stressed out."

He peered down at me. "Well perhaps I could buy you lunch. You saved my ass in there. If I sent it in like that I would have been crucified, so thanks."

I nodded. "Lunch would be marvelous thank you." He walked out a little late for lunch and led me by the arm out the door. We went to the Cafe in Oliver's house on Broadway.

We ordered and we started to talk. "So Vicki, tell me how come you know so much about Excel?"

"I am studying Computer science. I am doing it online at the moment but I was going to Case Western."

He looked at me quizzically. "So, what happened? Why did you drop out?"

I had expected this question in the interview. "Boy trouble. Our relationship broke up and he turned nasty so I left."

He grabbed my hand across the table and patted it comfortingly. "I am sorry to hear that. Well, he was a jerk, that's all I can say."

I blushed bright red at his compliment. "Thanks Geoff, I appreciate that."

Lunch passed easily we talked about his family and how they had just brought a new house. He did most of the talking, and I just threw in the odd uh huh and a nod of my head. As we were walking back to the office he thanked me for being a good listener. It wasn't hard for me, he seemed like a nice guy. Listening was turning out to be a very valuable tool. I made a mental note to work on it.

Over the next few weeks the news about my Excel expertise and general computer operations spread and pretty soon I was spending more time in the offices helping out rather than at the front desk. The firm contracted out their help-desk to a separate company. The problem was, they were useless, I saw it immediately, every time, I contacted them with a problem, I ended up fixing it myself.

None of them spoke proper English and many were impossible to understand. Consequently, more and more of the account managers called on me first. I loved it. I found it so much more fulfilling than the receptionist's duties.

I was more than happy to be dragged away, to fix computer glitches or offer advice. I did feel a little guilty if I got back to reception and found a queue of people. Geoff and Larry, the two main partners at the firm, laughed as they used and abused my knowledge. I had been there two months which coincided with my probationary period, Geoff called me into his office. As I walked in, I noticed Larry was there as well. "Oh-oh," I thought, this isn't good.

Larry watched as I walked in. "Shut the door please Vicki." Oh shit, this definitely wasn't good. Geoff smiled. "Take a seat we would like to talk." Like to talk! Now I was scared, nothing good ever came from those words.

I sat cross-legged, fidgeting nervously, on the seat across from the desk.

"Vicki, we wanted to talk about your role here. We have had a few complaints that you leave the front desk unattended for long periods of time."

I interrupted. "I am sorry I have just been trying to help out." I looked away unable to hold his gaze.

Geoff waved his hand in a friendly gesture. "Vicki, it's not your fault. God I am probably the worst offender, I drag you in here all the time."

Larry interjected. "Vicki, we all appreciate the help you have been giving everyone, including me. Well, mostly me probably."

Geoff picked up. "We want to change things up. You have become an integral part of the business. Your computer skills are extraordinary. In fact, I don't know how we got by without you."

I was confused as I looked at each of them. "Well, what do you want me to do?"

"We have decided we would like to take you on as a trainee graduate computer, oh heck, for the want of a better word, analyst. We will take on another junior receptionist and she can cover for you while you are helping us."

I was blown away. "Really, but I haven't finished my degree. I am still studying."

They both laughed and Larry chirped in. "Christ, Vicki, we have been paying a lot of money to a firm that supplies us with a help desk and technicians. That money is wasted as you are doing way better than they ever have." Geoff interrupted again. "If it's about the money we will be offering you a substantial pay rise as well."

I smiled. "I wasn't worried about the money, I didn't think you would stiff me."

Just like that my world changed, we had a new receptionist and I spent most of my day working with different people helping them over their computer problems. It wasn't just computer problems though. Most of the junior account managers didn't say anything to Larry or Geoff, but they were coming to me more, not just for computer problems. I was setting up spreadsheets and assisting with client interfaces, the list got bigger and bigger.

My life seemed to be sailing along. I was making money paying my bills but the main thing was, I was in love with Vicki. I loved everything about my new persona.

Fashion and shoes! Oh my god! Don't get me started on the shoes. Life was wonderful.

It made me question the future? What to do and how to do it. Where was I going? The short answer was I couldn't imagine a future without Vicki in it.

I loved my new life. I hated even thinking about returning to being Francis. So, with that thought processed it was how do I make it work? Of course, the other side was what didn't I like? Well I hated the remnants of Fran. Shaving all the time and trying to cover my masculinity. My voice was softening more every day as I practiced some exercises from the net.

I had been doing lots of research online about HRT and I decided to do it.

The decision was the easy part, the hard part was convincing a physiologist, it was what I wanted. You don't just book in and whammo, it's done. No, it meant countless sessions with specialists, psychoanalysts, the whole shooting box. It wasn't as easy as I hoped. What counted in my favor, I was already living as a woman, Fran, was gone. In the end there was no question. Six months later, I was approved to start the hormone program.

Undergoing the psychological assessment, did raise some questions within me though. The major one being how far I wanted to go? The hormone therapy had side affects, and some of them scared me. Losing the use of my dick was a major concern. I loved being Vicki, absolutely adored it, but I also liked sex, and I wasn't attracted to men. My thoughts were always with women, I could see no future that involved men.

When I discussed that with the therapists, they decided I should take it slow, keep taking note of my changing needs, and if I did change my mind, I could always stop.

I started taking my course of hormones. I knew it wouldn't be immediate. It would take time but, I was elated to at least be on the road and I had high hopes.

As I settled into my role and started to make friends things naturally fell into place. The only thing missing in my life was romance. Aside from work, I didn't have any friends. My only contact with people was through work and shopping. I missed not having a friend or confidante.

Ah romance how the hell was that going to work? How do you find a woman who would accept me the way I was? I certainly wasn't interested in men... No, that wasn't happening. But I had made my decision and I wasn't going back, I just had to hope for the best.

The reality is, I had no time for love anyway. I was flat out with studies and work there wasn't much time for anything else.

As they say, life rolls on. Work was good. My new role was awesome. Not having to be looked upon as just the receptionist was great. I had only one bug bear.

The only fly in my ointment was Olivia. She was the only person in the whole place who I didn't get on with. Olivia, was a senior account manager and for some reason she didn't like me or at least she was very standoffish. She would let her computer crash before asking me for help. She even tried to bypass me several times by contacting their old tech company.

She got into a little trouble for that and if anything that made the whole thing worse. I could see she blamed me for the problems she was having. To compound her problem she now had no choice she had to ask for my help. For my part I tried everything to at least build a working relationship with her but she just didn't want to know.

Olivia was the epitome of a successful business woman. She dressed impeccably, her clothes were the latest designs and very classy. There were no off the rack labels for her. Everything she wore was perfect. It fit perfectly and it was always the right look. She always looked classy and chic with never a hair out of place.

Her appearance was the shop window of her personality. She always wore her hair in a tight pulled back bun. It highlighted her face but it made her look matronly or cold, perhaps even sterile.

Don't get me wrong, Olivia was a very pretty woman. Her figure was trim, shapely but slender. She would stand out in the middle of a beauty pageant surrounded by models if she chose to but, she always seemed to try and mute her looks. It was like she was afraid to shine, afraid to stand out. Maybe she had simply become jaded working in a "man's world." It annoyed me that she seemed to hate me so much.

I caught her several times staring at me when she thought I wasn't looking. That stare made me wonder. Talking to one of the junior accountants one day whilst I was helping him, I asked him about Olivia.

He laughed. "You have a bridge to build there Vicki. She doesn't like you at all but, I think perhaps she is just a little jealous."

"What does she have to be jealous of?"

He paused before answering. "Well, we all sort of depend on you. Don't get me wrong. We all love having you on board. Maybe she feels left out."

I pulled back a little. "But she isn't that great with computers."

He chuckled. "Yeah that's true but, she is good at her job and you know by going to her for advice even on computer issues it allowed us to make her feel like one of the team, she was a little distant when she started here." He looked at me as I leaned over his desk focused mostly on his computer. "You want a little advice Vicki. Let her lead, don't cut her down even if she is wrong, let her think she is helping."

I walked away thinking. Maybe she feels threatened by me. Maybe John was right.

A couple of weeks later we were all called into a staff meeting. Larry and Geoff both chaired the meeting. As we all crowded into the board room I noticed there were a couple of other people at the meeting that I didn't know.

Geoff introduced them to us. They were facilitators. We were going to be changing our accounts managing system over to SAP our new accounting and financials, purchasing, inventory, sales and customer relationships software. We were ditching the old Oracle software program and we were changing over to SAP. The facilitators took over the meeting and ran us through the benefits and gave us all a general rundown on SAP capabilities. It was just a glorified sales pitch really.

When they finished Geoff addressed us all. "Team, you know how important this changeover is going to be. If we have too many hiccups then, our clients will lose faith. We need this transition to be smooth and seamless." The room was silent as we all took in the gravity of it.

"Guys because this is so important we have decided to use Olivia as our team lead. She is going to drive this project and I need you all to be behind her one hundred percent." As I looked across at Olivia, I could see the beaming smile. She was elated and I guess well, she should be.

There was a brief round of applause before Geoff announced. "Vicki, we want you to drop everything else and work closely with Olivia. We want you to make this your number one priority." I nodded and mumbled. "Yes of course. I can do that."

Olivia, didn't seem quite so enthralled with that particular announcement.

I waited until the meeting was finished before taking aside the facilitators. I asked for the full SAP manual. I stopped by Olivia's office on my way home with my arms full of manuals. "Olivia, I am at your disposal. I really want to help."

She peered at me over the top of her screen. "Thanks Vick, once I have my head around the best way forward, I will get you to help."

"Vick..." What the fuck! That grated with me. Fuck you bitch my name is, Vicki, I wanted to scream at her. I just smiled, and all that came out was. "OK, when you are ready let me know."

I spent every night going through the manuals going over every point in detail. By the end of the week I figured I knew more about SAP than the two clowns they had sent to help us.

A training room was set up in the board room with computers running SAP set up around the central table so it was much like a class room. We were each allocated a computer and the training began. As we were going through it, John and a couple of the other account managers started asking questions.

Janice, the facilitator who I think was nothing more than a sales girl, looked lost as the questions started to flow. She stuttered and mumbled unable to answer them. As she stumbled I stood up and walked around to John's computer and ran him through the parts he was having a problem with.