by L8ly75
I don't allow grammatical errors to cloud my judgement of a stories content. While the plot is common, the twist of the photographer and his wife joining into the action was an interesting addition. The sex scene was okay and June's actions were unexpected by her husband, and would/should have added to the heat of the story.
Literotica has lots of volunteer editors you can make use of. Notice, I'm not anon.
Story line works and the sex is good. Too many negative comments for what is an enjoyable little story. Keep going
Read somewhere else, or better yet, submit one of your own. Then we'll critique as harshly as you do!
Could have been written better but don't be discouraged. Try and find someone to edit for you.
Even more "and no matter what", there's usually some bozo who can't stand it when there are people who dare to have a different opinion.
What about this juvenile badly written story is good, stupid cardboard people are not erotic, interesting or belivable.
No matter the story in this section always the naysayers hate it.
Good story and thanks for writing..
You wold have to be about 12 years old to find this arousing or exciting. It was embarrassing and stupid. Have you ever had sex? I mean with another person, of the opposite sex?