All Comments on 'Vince Ch 01: The Library'

It will be interesting to see where this goes. Great start for a longer story. Please continue.

English not your first language?

She winded her way through the stacks?

Winded = heavy breathing.

Discourage...I know you know better.

It stuck me at the beginning your excessive wordiness and redundant repetitiveness.

This is a good start.

"looking at the ground " indicates that he had left the building but, since he was still inside the library, "looking at the floor" might work better.

"winded" should be "wended".

On another note, despite what we see in porn movies, squirting actually comes from the urethra.

Carry on!

Thanks, duly noted. Always looking for constructive criticism and advice. Cheers!