All Comments on 'Violet's Treat'

Okay, so I enjoyed this even though I kinda guessed the 'reveal' when he first tasted blueberries. Do you wanna know what actually broke my immersion in the story though? It was one spelling mistake. When Violet is telling her backstory/origin-story, she asks "Do you remember the Wonka bar context ten years ago?" and I had to think about what that sentence meant, then realised it was supposed to be 'contest'. Now in a critical pivotal point in the story any kind of break in the readers immersion can be the difference between a 'good' and a 'great' story.

Personally I thought the story was interesting, although I thought you gave away the characters name too cheaply at the party, it could easily have not been mentioned and dragged out the reveal for her origin retelling. In my opinion it would have maintained the 'suspense'/mystery a little longer and added more emphasis to the entire reveal.

Well done!

Violet who cause otherwise this isn't a celebrity or fan fiction story

So excited for the sequel where he visits her chocolate factory.

Love the story, but it would be better if a condom was used. Kids this age don't need to be procreating.

OOM-pa LOOM-pa doopity DONG,

I can't believe no one's written this song.

OOM-pa LOOM-pa doompaly DOOT,

maybe that's cause it's low-hanging-fruit.

A really different story.

I always wondered what Smurfett would taste like.

Bill S.

[31.07.22]

Fun und Hawt!

11/10 Pieces of Gum!!!!!

Excellent :-)