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"And there's the money shot!" said Jackson, from the screen. "Fantastic! I may have to fly out for a visit myself, sometime."
"We'll be glad to accommodate you," said Marigold, as Carl was getting dressed. The two of them started walking away, Carl keeping his camera on the hostess now as she spoke. "I imagine many viewers feel the same way. Sandra will be on deck duty full time for at least her first year, so if they sign up now there will be plenty of opportunities for..."
The woman's voice faded as she and Carl made their way back toward the helicopter pad. Sandra's egg pulsed softly inside her. She looked down, at the fox tail curled around her buttock, and began to stroke it.
- COMMENTS
Anonymous10 months ago"Fuck my tits, Carl," she said huskily, meeting his eyes for a moment. "Fuck 'em like I know you've always wanted to."
Boring, lazy dialogue to the point of laziness. No character development, no heat and the story is far too short. It reads like it was thrown together over the course of a few lunch breaks.
While you're entitled to offer your view on the public forum, demanding that more talented writers listen to your angry lectures doesn't seem to be the best way to build an audience.
35/100, two stars.
Raxton57about 1 year agoYour story was really great. A very interesting set up and your descriptions were thorough and well written. Ioved her reluctance and the way she was slowly turned. Very well done.
Anonymousabout 1 year agoLoved the story. I'm guessing this is a one shot story, but I would love a couple more chapters !
