Wait, Am I A Zombie? [BOOK 3]

"Can I hold the baby?" I asked, not super in love with kids, but this one looked cute and quiet. All soft sugar-brown skin, curling black hair, and chubby limbs.

Dylla didn't say a word as she disentangled the baby from her breast, corrected her top, burped the little bundle and handed her over. Holding a baby felt weird, not at all as natural as I thought it would. My arms felt gangly and too tired, like I could drop the child any second. The thing moved a lot, too, wiggling and making these weird scrunched up faces. A vibration traveled from my arm and my eyes widened as the clean, baby smell was replaced with the strong stench of shit.

"Oh God," I gagged, looking for help. Dylla stood a few feet away, chuckling behind her hand. "Can you take her back? She needs to be changed. Smells like she shat out a dead animal."

"Gathinha," Dylla cooed, taking the child back and moving to the car in the middle of the fleet. "Let's get you changed."

Ivy's eyes trailed her wife. The woman was worse than Bane, I swear.

"Ivy," Bane drew her attention back to us. "Thank you for coming."

She raised a perfectly arched brow. "How many centuries have we known each other now?"

"Before I was king."

"Ha! When you were still a tottering newborn."

"Sounds like you're claiming a role."

She rolled her eyes and swatted at his arm. "La'a. You birthed, raised, and discovered yourself on your own. Too bad you don't have the wounds to prove it. How many cliffs did I watch you fall from?"

"You mean how many cliffs did you push me off."

The two laughed, thick with inside jokes. A part of me wanted to put in the effort to dig deeper into the stories they were half-telling, but jetlag was beginning to set in and I was simply past caring.

Well, that wasn't true. I didn't care about the words, but their actions? Oh I was hawk-eying it up.

What semi-bothered me was the obvious closeness between them. Zeno was Bane's sister, but even she didn't playfully smack his arm, and Samantha and Bane practically ignored each other. I wasn't even sure they'd had a conversation alone before. Ivy and my husband were completely different. Centuries spent cultivating their relationship. One in which friendship could have developed to something more.

Did they have sex?

My nails dug into my palm as a flash of a murderous thought flitted through my mind. But I couldn't kill all of Bane's previous lovers. The man had a past; I had a past. That was normal, acceptable, nothing to get jealous over.

Oh, but I was. I'd rather chew glass than make nice with a woman who'd had my husband. Didn't matter if it was for a night or centuries.

"We were never lovers," Ivy interrupted my thoughts.

Her words should have calmed me. They didn't. So Ivy wasn't Bane's past paramour. They were still out there. Still living knowing my husband's kiss, his fingers on their skin, his cock in their body.

"They do not matter." Bane's fingers wrapped around the back of my neck, palm cupping and turning my head. Catching my eyes, he held my gaze trapped in his. "You are my blooded wife. There was... no one before you."

"Long pause there."

A hard body met my stinging palms, soothing them. Bane surrounded me, his heat and scent, drawing me deeper. "Are you calling me a liar?"

Nipping my bottom lip sharply, he tunneled his fingers into my hair, tipped back my head, and kissed me.

No, that wasn't right. Kiss felt too soft a word, too gentle.

I was totally wrong. Ivy's possession of Dylla was only a fraction of what Bane felt for me or what I felt for him. Would Ivy still be with her wife if Dylla killed, ate from dead men, could turn the blood that gave a vampire life poisonous with a thought? Bane trusted me. I felt it in his lips on mine, tongue gliding over mine, body fitted so every inch of us touched. This close, it would only take a thought to bring up my acid, bite my tongue and force poison down his throat.

"No. I believe you."

Pulling back from the kiss, he briefly touched our foreheads before releasing me and taking a step away. Bane wasn't big on PDA, but I appreciated him soothing the green-eyed monster in me.

"Alright, cool," I said facing Ivy again. "You're friends. Got it. Won't be a problem."

A sardonic smile settled on her face. "This will be an interesting time." My eyebrows shot up, but she continued, turning to face Bane, "East and West Europe, Australia, and North America are here."

"We're still waiting on the Asians, South America, and my cohorts? Why isn't Vine or Ruse here?"

Ivy shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest. "You piss them off?"

"Recently?" Bane stroked his jaw. "Not in the last century, I don't think."

"Vine feels insulted if the moon doesn't glow, and Ruse is probably whoring his way to us."

"He did always prefer the longer route."

"Scenic," they said at the same time with a chuckle

There was a moment, a subtle shift in the way Bane carried himself, a drop in his voice. "Have they spoken yet?"

Ivy mimicked Bane, softer but no less alert. "Aywa."

"And?"

Uncrossing and re-crossing her arms, Ivy spoke quietly while she smoothed her fingers down her dress. "Next week."

"What?" Bane's voice shot out like a snake, making me recoil. "Did you know this?"

I waited for Ivy to speak, maybe give me a clue as to what Bane and her were talking about. But Ivy didn't answer, Luther did, "Yes."

I whipped my head to him. "Know what?"

His eyes were glued on Samantha and the baby still in her arms. The two looked completely removed from everything, solely focused on the child. Samantha's lips moved but the softly blowing wind snatched them before I could hear.

Curiosity got the better of me and I pushed, as subtle as I could, inside Samantha's mind. "...Care is heavy, therefore sleep you. You are care, and care must keep you—OUT!"

One minute I was listening to a gentle lullaby filled with love and some stronger, heavier emotion, and the next I was panting, gripping my head on the ground.

When I'd done the same thing to Luther he'd pushed me out, too. Key word being: pushed. Samantha took Luther's push and upped it ten times to the feeling of a bullet through the skull.

Bane was beside me in the next second, checking me over, asking questions a mile a minute. It was all a jumble as a migrane set in, pounding against my temple.

Did I deserve to be kicked out of her head? Debatable, but sure. Did I deserve brain-melting witchery? Nu-ah. Especially since I'd been in Samantha's mind before. Girl was all warm sunsets, calming spells, and fragrant smelling potions that felt all too real.

Witches. They could do a lot, way more than vampires and they seemed to be a lot cooler if you asked me. But really I'd only heard Samantha talk about her powers in an abstract sort of way. Luther's eyes changed color, Caster fought with super-speed, and Bane freaking persuaded his way around everyone. Even the werewolves shifted in front of me. Samantha hadn't so much as lifted her pinky finger to cast a spell.

Pushing up from the ground with Bane's help, I looked at the witch. Her skin was a strange indigo hue splattered with gold, hair floating around her face so white it seemed to reflect and enhance the light cast by the moon, and the blue iris of her eyes had expanded to take over everything, leaving opaque pools. She didn't look like a witch; she looked like a freaking goddess!

"Ivy," Luther said softly, voice cajoling as he moved in front of Samantha and blocked her line of sight to me. "Come take your child."

"Peaches," Bane gritted, drawing my attention to him. His eyes flitted to the witch, face drawn. "Are you alright?"

Tugging my arm away from Bane, I dusted myself off as best as I could. But the thing about sand is that it got everywhere. I could already feel the coarse grains in my underwear.

"What happened?"

I ignored Bane and the pounding headache, trying to figure out why Samantha had torpedoed me out of her mind. A lullaby. Just a few lines. That's all I'd gotten, but her reaction didn't seem proportional.

See, this is why I should have just ignored it to begin with. I'd forgotten that curiosity hadn't made the cat a nice meal, given the thing a massage, and then tucked it in.

Dead. Probably skinned and then eaten the feline's flesh.

Curiosity was a cold-blooded m'fer who had no qualms with putting things in their place if they crossed the line.

Noted.

"It's been a long flight," I said tiredly, completely ignoring Samantha and Luther. I'd apologize later, like I always did. Mess up, apologize, repeat. I really needed to get a new cycle. "Let's call it a night and head to the hotel."

Ivy frowned, eyes darting to the witch and vampire before narrowing on me. "There are still things—"

"Always," I muttered, waving her words away. "There are always things. But I'm pretty sure they aren't going to change with eight hours of sleep and food."

Her voice was sharp, century layered, "You are not forward thinking. Nothing is guaranteed. You do not know that tomorrow will be a new day."

Barking out a laugh, I shook my head and gripped my sides. "Honey, for me, it will be. Giving Death the finger kind of means that my days aren't numbered. No trickling sand or slowly lowering sword. So, yeah, I'm gonna get that sleep, food, and rest because there have already been a lotta new days."

Sailing past an open mouthed Ivy, I paused by Samantha and Luther. Her hands were on his chest, hair darkening quickly as her skin once again returned to a pale but pinkened beige. The vampire's eyes flicked to me and red swirled in the depths. But it wasn't alone, there was something in his eyes that made a shiver race down my back.

"Go."

"I'm going. I'm going," I mumbled, hands thrown up.

Tonight was not mystery solving night and I wasn't about to clue it up with Samantha in the kitchen with her witchy powers. Those two were on a-whole-nother wavelength that me running on a few hours of plane-sleep and heavy jet lag wasn't about to figure out.

On one of my many, many mental lists was something I'd learned about the things that went bump in the night: they all wore masks. These creatures lived in them day in and day out. Werewolves dressed in human skin and pretended to play by outsider rules when I'm pretty sure they had their own code and followed that to a tee. Vampires pretended they weren't seconds away from chowing down on your bones and muscle, keeping up this bizarre pretense of civility.

Humans?

They were the worst. Just layers of bullshit.

Opening the door to the last car, I slid in and slammed it closed. Thing about masks was it only took a crack to see what was beneath.

Chapter Three: Vagabonds

I was in Heaven. Well, not literally, but I was pretty sure Kush Hotel was about as close to Heaven as I could get. Not only was it in the heart of the city, but there was a gigantic mall next to it. I fell in love instantly.

"We're staying here?" I said as I looked around at everything. "I thought you would have a palace or castle or something."

Bane's arm was around my waist, our key-cards in his other hand. "I travel too much to have a permanent residence. Its maintenance would be pointless for three, maybe six weeks a year."

I took my eyes off the cool fountain feature in the middle of the hotel and turned to him. "What do you mean? Are you saying you don't have a home?"

He looked at me, pulled me closer, and placed a kiss on my cheek. "We don't have a home."

Vagabonds. I wondered how I felt about that. I mulled it over for about half a second, then looked around the hotel again. "That's cool." And it was. If I got to live in five-star hotels for the rest of my un-dead life then I wasn't about to complain.

"So, what's on the agenda?" I had only one outfit and it was the one on my gross body. The sooner I tried out the mall, the better I'd feel.

"For the entire trip or tomorrow?"

My shoulders wobbled, head swaying as I thought about it. "Let's pin down tomorrow first."

"I'm sure I will have meetings to attend, I always do. However, you should be free. If you want, you can shop; find a few evening gowns and pick up whatever else you like. Of course, Luther and Casper will join you."

Mental fist pump. All the dresses and jewels and kickass shoes. My goal was pure front page glamour for every occasion. Like people would stop, necks would snap as they whipped to me, jaws would—I mentally stopped. "Wait,why did you say Luther and Casper would come like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like they would be guarding us or something."

He raised a brow. "Because they will."

We walked into another building and onto an elevator. I'd thought Bane was gonna go for the penthouse, both for the luxury and the space for Casper, Luther, Samantha, and likely Zeno, but that hadn't happened. Everyone had gotten their own rooms, and Bane had gone for a deluxe suite.

"Since when?" I asked, cocking my hip and crossing my arms. "Because last time I checked I didn't need a bodyguard with the whole MR-ing, acid-spitting, poison blood thing going."

"Emaring?"

"M R: Mind-reading. I'm thinking about shorting it so when I think 'MR' the vamps dipping in on my mind won't know what that means."

"Clever."

"I try."

He went to the kitchen and I spied a variety of alcohol on the bar. Bane snatched a bottle of red wine off the granite bar separating the kitchen from the living room, and opened it. "It's more for my peace of mind."

I opened my mouth to argue, but found that I was out of ammo. How was I supposed to fight when it came to his feelings? He hadn't said, "Because I don't trust you," or "What I say goes; no matter what." Bane had been honest. Dang it!

"Fine," I grumbled.

My husband came out of the kitchen with two glasses in his hands and passed one to me. "So sorry we couldn't bicker like we usually do."

I rolled my eyes and took a sip of the wine. It was good; heavy on the flavor, but it went down easy. I finished the glass in two more swallows.

"Any idea how long we'll be here?"

"No," Bane sighed, staring into the swirling red liquid as if it had the answers. "Your recognition ceremony will be in a week. If you pass, which I'm sure you will, then they'll be the coronation, reception, and opening of court. After that we will absolutely take that vacation to Disney World."

"Recognition ceremony? That sounds sketch."

"What?"

"Sketch," I waved my arms. "Sketchy. Fishy. Strange. You know."

"Sure," he said slowly. "I thought we explained it to you."

"Not really."

"You will be presented in front of the royals and given tasks to complete. There is a time limit, but each task is meant to test different challenges that you will face as queen, ergo Recognition Ceremony."

"Phew." I wiped invisible sweat off my brow. "I was thinking I'd have to fight a giant or something."

"You might."

My eyebrows shot up, trying to fly off my face.

"Kidding," Bane said around a soft laugh, coming to stand in front of me and run his thumb over my bottom lip. "The giants were killed long ago."

"Hardy har har." Rolling my eyes, I said, "Do we know what they'll ask? Like a list of requirements? Is there writing? Dude, if they ask me to do a research paper you can kiss my ass goodbye."

"Because vampires are known for their research papers."

"Maybe." I shrugged. "You pretty much haven't told me what vampire royals do, only that they aren't like human ones."

"Come over here," he said, tugging me over to the luxurious cream brocade couch and settling me between his legs. I settled my head on his shoulder and picked up his hand to play with his long fingers. I loved Bane's hands. They were extremely masculine, wide and heavy, with a little bit of hair on his knuckles and the back of his hand leading up his wrist. Even though there wasn't a callus of scar in sight, I still felt them, the whispers of years of pain and strength.

"There are three steps," he began as I turned over his hand and stroked the lines on his palm, "The first is Consideration. That comes one of three ways. Marriage, Nomination, or Challenge."

"What do you mean by 'nomination' and 'challenge'?"

"A vampire can be nominated by another royal or merchant from a specific region. If it is marriage and their partner wants them in the capacity of a royal, then another royal will come to test their mettle. Or they can challenge a reigning king or queen. If they win, they are up for consideration."

"What happens to the royal they challenge?"

"It's to the death."

"Ah... okay."

He moved his hand from my grasp and slid it around my neck, tipping my head back and capturing my lips in a sweet, lingering kiss. "A challenge only happens to a reigning king or queen."

"And I'm not one of those." But if I did this and passed, I would be. I'd be a non-vampire vampire queen. Couldn't see that sitting well with everyone.

"No one will challenge you."

"You can't be sure of that," I murmured against his mouth.

"No. One," he growled, nipping my bottom lip before drawing back.

There was such menace in those two words I should have flinched back, put up distance. Blood was all over Bane; even if I couldn't see it death and mayhem clung to the man like a custom made coat. Instead, I reached up my free hand, digging into his nape and licked his lips, pushing my tongue inside to stroke against his.

"Same goes for you."

Red bled into the eyes as I drew back and stared at him. Sometimes I wondered if I should be more ladylike around Bane, wear dresses instead of pants, speak coyly, flirt and tempt. I wanted to be everything he wanted and more, but a deeper part of me, the one that was slowly emerging and taking over every piece of me, needed my husband to accept me with all the imperfections.

"I more than accept you." Bane leaned me forward, reaching into his back pocket. "You are all I've ever wanted."

My breath hitched in my throat. Was Bane saying he loved me? No. No. No.

Wait. But was he?

Had he ever?

Had I?

Did I?

As soon as the thoughts bulleted through my brain, I slapped them into the back of my mind, far from the banners of thoughts Bane saw. His face never changed, never gave a hint that he'd heard the spit fire questions, all of which I simply wasn't ready to deal with. Not after a little over a month together.

We sat in silence, me hoping he hadn't heard and Bane curiously fidgety. "Would you stop wiggling. It's less fun when you don't have an erection."

Resettling, he took a deep breath and I peered up at him curiously. Bane didn't do nervousness, it just wasn't a good look on him. "What's up, buttercup?"

"I—I know our wedding wasn't what you had hoped for."

I blinked. Well, yeah, it hadn't been the celebration of the year, but it had been memorable. I frowned and tried to shift to face him, but he stopped me. "I'm not upset that I married you, Bane."

I think. Hard shove. To the back with you!

"I'm butchering this," Bane muttered. "What I mean to say is that the ring wasn't the one I intended to give you."

I looked down at the ring on my finger. I usually forgot it was there. Scratch that: I pretty much always forgot it was there. It was one of those basic rings that you could get at any Halloween store. Casper had given it to Bane to give to me. I had no doubt it had cost Casper a pretty penny (because the vamp didn't buy anything that wasn't name brand and outrageously expensive), but it was sort of simple, shaped like stereotypical vamp teeth.