All Comments on 'Walk In Ch. 01'

ill admit i was worried at the start, but this is turning into a series i will want to read a lot of .

very nicely done narrative and you can almost believe it is truly a first person account.

if it is, i would love to see more of your story and what happens between you and your dad, and if it is not real...i still want to see more, but i tip my hat to an amazing story teller!

well deserved * * * * *

The Beginning Had Me Scared But It Was A Pretty Good Start!

(Ignore The Capitals... Auto Correct...)

I too was wondering where the opening was going, but then...Wow! The picture of her walking in to see her dad in that situation was well-written. I can't wait for parts 2 and 3.

Great start can't wait for the next chapter. Jess narrating is great sounds like a real young girl. Great story it was pretty funny too.

...at all.

It'll be interesting to see where you go with this one. Though you've already done a bit of foreshadowing...

Nice start.

[Monty Burns' voice] "Exxxcellent!"

Cool way to get things going with a laid back dad and a daughter that just isn't certain. I'll be waiting to read what happens as things progress.

RS

garte start just keep a oppened mied and let your juice flowe .. looking to next chapter yours leann xx

I really like your style of writing. good story so far, I want more.