by CookieCutter
I really like your style of writing. good story so far, I want more.
garte start just keep a oppened mied and let your juice flowe .. looking to next chapter yours leann xx
Cool way to get things going with a laid back dad and a daughter that just isn't certain. I'll be waiting to read what happens as things progress.
RS
...at all.
It'll be interesting to see where you go with this one. Though you've already done a bit of foreshadowing...
Nice start.
Great start can't wait for the next chapter. Jess narrating is great sounds like a real young girl. Great story it was pretty funny too.
I too was wondering where the opening was going, but then...Wow! The picture of her walking in to see her dad in that situation was well-written. I can't wait for parts 2 and 3.
The Beginning Had Me Scared But It Was A Pretty Good Start!
(Ignore The Capitals... Auto Correct...)
ill admit i was worried at the start, but this is turning into a series i will want to read a lot of .
very nicely done narrative and you can almost believe it is truly a first person account.
if it is, i would love to see more of your story and what happens between you and your dad, and if it is not real...i still want to see more, but i tip my hat to an amazing story teller!
well deserved * * * * *