Walking an Endless Path Pt. 01

"Maybe Chloe's experiment wasn't totally thought through, but you're both young. Maybe you can accept that perhaps you're still learning. That's going to come with some painful mistakes. These help you grow."

"I agree with Chloe on one thing; everything gets better with practice. Sex can be scary when you're just eighteen, and relationships can get messy when they get physical. Please don't sell yourself short. There are women out there who will be very attracted to you. You mentioned Rebecca and Taylor are willing. Speak with them, be with them, but be safe," she said with a smile.

"I can't get any safer. I'm still a virgin," he mumbled.

Rene was confused again. Didn't he say he'd had sex with these women?

Joe could see she was having trouble connecting the dots. "I haven't had sex with anyone, Rene. The most I've done is kiss and hug. When I'm very... excited and kissing someone, this sensation... like an electrical burst or surge, like all your pleasure nerves are firing at once, it just takes over, and POW! They bliss out."

Rene sat holding Joe's hands in hers and felt her jaw open, but no sounds were coming out. She closed her mouth with a snap. "So, just kissing?"

Joe saw she finally understood his dilemma. "Yes, exactly. I can't get past the kissing stage without them passing out. How will I ever have a normal relationship with a woman like that? I'm fucked! Only not." Joe barked a laugh at his bad joke, but it came out sounding like he was choking on it. Rene had never heard Joe swear before, so she knew he was at his breaking point.

Rene had a sinking sensation that she was out of her depths. She had no reference point for what Joe was experiencing. She doubted anyone would. Okay, back to basics then. He was a virgin just learning about his sexuality.

"Joe, this may sound personal, but do you masturbate?" she asked gently.

Joe's face went crimson, and he tried to pull his hands back, but Rene kept a tight grip. "No! I've never done that!" He looked distinctly uncomfortable.

"Why not?" she asked.

"It's not... right," Joe said, struggling to find the words.

"Did you hear that at school? Church?"

"Sex Ed in grade eight. Mrs. Stanley taught us, and we saw some films on it."

"Oh dear, Mrs. Stanley. Could they have chosen a worse teacher for that subject?" Rene grumbled to herself. "Joe, they did you and your fellow students a terrible disservice by allowing someone with such a closed mind to fill yours with garbage. Masturbation isn't wrong or evil. It's perfectly natural, and as long as it's done in moderation and in private, it's perfectly safe. It allows you to get to know your own body's responses and helps you see how much control you have over them. Like I said before, you need to practice to get better at something. I think you should try. Take your time and be prepared to get better over time."

"But I don't know how to... do that," he said nervously.

"That's the thing, Joe. Everyone is different. You have to listen to your body. It will tell you what feels good and what doesn't. You set the pace and have that much control right from the start. The rest will come naturally," Rene explained.

Joe sat there with just the beginning of hope seeping into his mind. "Rene, where were you when we needed you in grade eight?"

"Aww, Joe, I wish I could have been there, sweetie," she said fondly. "Look, you only have a couple of hours left on your shift, but I want you to sign out for the day and relax. Grab a slice of pizza and sit in the park. Think about what I said. It's going to be okay. Just give yourself a little time." Rene let go of Joe's hands, pushed her chair back, and stood up to leave.

"Thanks, Rene. I mean it, really, thank you!" Joe said, standing up. On an impulse, he reached out and hugged Rene to his chest.

"Oof!" Rene gasped as he squeezed her tightly. "Let a girl breathe, Joe!" she laughed nervously. God, his big body was more than a little overwhelming, and she felt a hot blush rise up her face. What he said about his kiss popped into her head, and she pushed against his chest a little frantically. She hadn't felt... that... since the accident.

"Sorry!" he said with a blush and left the room. He stopped by his locker to drop off his gloves and apron and pick up his car keys. Then he was outside. His mind was spinning. He had a lot to think about. And Rene was right. He did feel better having spoken to her. While he was still a little weirded out by the notion of doing... that, if doing it helped, he'd try it.

There was a bookstore at the mall, and maybe he could pick up a book on human sexuality and get some pointers on how to... do what he needed to do. God, he was embarrassed just thinking about it. Steeling himself, he started the truck and pointed it toward the mall.

Fifteen minutes later, he was walking through the food court, smelling the delicious variety of food and realizing he was actually pretty hungry. He settled on a sub and made quick work of it as he watched people moving about their day. Joe rarely came to the mall and never by himself. Typically, he was here with Amy and her friends and carried all the bags.

Joe always enjoyed people-watching during those visits too. It was always fun to spot new faces and wonder if they were just travelers passing through or if they were from town, and he just hadn't met them yet. Glennville was growing steadily, so the small-town aspect of knowing everyone was quickly disappearing.

Having satisfied his hunger for now, he headed over to the bookstore. He wasn't a big reader and hadn't been in this store in some time. He found a store directory and saw the health section was by the back wall in the reference section. Glancing around, he saw no familiar faces, so he made a beeline for the back of the store. The Health and Well-Being section had a variety of books on sexuality. Joe checked again for anyone he knew and saw the coast was clear. He started reading the spines until he found one that sounded promising. He pulled it off the shelf and thumbed to the table of contents. There was a lot of material here, including a whole section on Sexual Anatomy and Physiology for both men and women. Further on, there were pages about different methods of sex, but he was most interested in the section titled What Feels Good to YOU. He was still embarrassed, but there was also a sense of relief that he might find what he needed to know in the book. He flipped to the page and began reading.

Joe was so engrossed in the text that he failed to notice the clerk walking towards him until she was right at his elbow. She had a clear view of the open page.

"I think we moved past that technique, don't you, Joe?"

Joe jumped and fumbled the book in his hands as he spun to see who'd snuck up on him.

"Rebecca! What are you doing here?" Joe gasped.

She smiled and pointed a well-manicured finger at the name tag on her work apron. Joe's eyes dropped to the tag and saw she worked at the store. He also saw it said Assistant Manager. Then he noticed it was just to the right of her deep cleavage. Joe pulled his eyes away from that heaven and noticed she'd braided her beautiful red tresses into a ponytail running down her back. His eyes drank in her beauty, her bright blue eyes framed by long lashes, her slim nose lightly dusted with freckles, and her full lips she'd chosen to color with a rich scarlet lipstick, making them beg to be kissed. He saw a smile form on her lips as she noticed his appreciation.

"Just some light reading Joe? You know, I'm more than willing to provide you with some hands-on exercises to practice," she said as she ran her fingers up his broad chest. Her touch felt good, and he saw a hungry look in her eyes. Rebecca ran the tip of her pink tongue across her lips to wet them as her eyes locked on his. Joe felt her firmly pushing him backward with her fingertips. He continued to step back until he hit the door leading to the staff-only back room. As Rebecca stepped through after Joe, she paused to flip the lock on the door, never taking her eyes off his. He felt trapped by her will. She guided him backward until the back of his legs encountered a couch, and he sat suddenly. In a flash, Rebecca was straddling his lap, holding his face between her hands, and pressing her soft lips against his mouth. Her tongue invaded his mouth boldly and danced against his. Joe tossed the book onto the end table and moved his hands to grip her hips.

Rebecca gasped into his mouth as the feel of his big hands drove her passion higher. She tasted his mouth again, his lips caressing hers, and she realized that Elizabeth was right. Joe was an incredible kisser.

He was struggling to control himself. He was quickly being drawn into Rebecca's passion. He wasn't ready for this. He knew what would happen if they continued, but other than just pushing Rebecca onto the floor, he'd be taken for a ride. He needed to take control of the situation, which meant he first had to take control of Rebecca. He slid one hand down to support her ass, earning him deeper, more aggressive kissing. His other hand slid up to grip her ponytail right at its base against her head. Once he had a grip on both ends, he surged forward on the couch and stood up. Even with his strength, it was an awkward move. It took a lot of effort to do it without hurting her as she hung between his hands, cradled against his body. He made a noise in her mouth very much like a growl, as he flexed his muscles.

Rebecca had no choice but to go along for the ride as Joe's grip on her hair and ass were like iron. She was always the aggressor in her relationships, but for the first time in her life, she was in a submissive position, completely at the mercy of his strength. The intensity of how exciting it was shocked her, and when he growled, she felt herself automatically respond with a whimper.

Joe turned and put Rebecca down on the couch under him. He kept his hand bound in her hair and pulled his mouth away from her lips but kept their faces close. He struggled to catch his breath and steady himself as Rebecca stared at him wide-eyed. She clung to his body and pulled with her arms and legs, but his strength was absolute. She was frantic to have her mouth back on his, and this unfamiliar feeling of being powerless drove her crazy. She was making little whining sounds of need.

When Joe felt his self-control return and the damn tingling surge settled down, he dipped his face slightly and allowed his lips to lightly graze hers. The pure sensuality of his teasing kiss caused pleasure to shoot through Rebecca's body, and she felt her heart rate soar. Joe lowered his hips as well, pinning her to the couch, and the intensity of this intimate touch was suddenly too much, and she gasped as it overwhelmed her. Joe saw from her expression something big was happening for her. He leaned down once more and took her mouth with his, kissing her deeply. He was concentrating as best he could to keep the surge at bay, but he felt it flare slightly during the kiss. He pulled back immediately and was grateful to see Rebecca still conscious but seemed lost in her pleasure. He watched her face in fascination as she clenched her eyes shut. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth to scream. He quickly pulled her head against his shoulder to muffle the sound, and this manhandling seemed to trigger her again, and he felt her body rock and shake against him. After what felt like minutes, he felt Rebecca begin to relax.

Joe was still very excited, but more importantly, Rebecca wasn't unconscious. It was an excellent step in the right direction and boosted his confidence for the first time in ages. He looked forward to reading the rest of the book!

Rebecca looked up at Joe in wonder. He'd rocked her world again, but it was more than physical this time. She was still trembling with reaction to her submission to him. He leaned in again and took a tender kiss before he released her hair and removed his hand from her ass. As he lifted himself from her, she saw he was still hard but had a sweet smile.

"Oh my god, Joe. That was... so... I've never..." Rebecca fumbled for words, gasping for breath.

"I really enjoyed it, too!" he said. Joe thought it would be best to make a hasty exit while she was distracted. He was happy his first attempt at controlling his reactions had been largely successful, but he needed more information before trying more person-to-person experiments.

"I, uh, hate to... do that and run, but I've gotta get going," he said, smiling at Rebecca's happy but exhausted face.

Rebecca dropped her head to the sofa and put a hand over her eyes. With the other one, she waved him off. Her mind was a jumble.

Joe grabbed a tissue from a nearby box, cleaned the crimson lipstick from his mouth, then picked up the book and headed to the checkout. Luckily, he didn't recognize the clerk behind the cash, so he was spared some additional embarrassment. He did ask for the book to be double bagged as the cover showed through. Tucking his purchase under his arm, he returned to his truck and headed home.

He had some reading to do.

Chapter 15

Summer passed by quickly that year. Joe's days were filled with work, and he spent his evenings in discreet study. He'd read the book from cover to cover, and when he finally worked up the nerve to try touching himself, he found that he didn't enjoy it. It felt good, but the surge didn't come out to play when he... played.

Rebecca had called him a few times after their little fun in the staff room, but Joe was still concerned about what he might be doing to her. He finally agreed to meet after work at a local pub. Joe confessed that he thought she was gorgeous but didn't feel an emotional connection and didn't want to mislead her. He said he was worried he might hurt her with... the strong sensations. Rebecca laughed, then patted Joe's hand. She set him straight that she was only looking for some fun and excitement, which Joe provided in abundance. She wasn't interested in going steady or being Joe's girlfriend and wasn't even asking to be exclusive. She told him Taylor was also hankering for some Joe, especially after Rebecca told her about their last date.

With this understanding, he went on a few dates with Rebecca. Through trial and error, Joe learned how to reign in the surge, but sometimes it got away from him, and Rebecca would bliss out. On these occasions, Joe brought her home to his place and let her sleep it off in one of the guest rooms. The first time this happened, his parents were surprised to see a happy but somewhat disheveled redhead joining them for breakfast. Once Joe returned from taking Rebecca home, his parents sat him down and set a few ground rules about what they considered proper behavior under their roof. Joe assured them that nothing had happened in the house and that he had just let her sleep in the guest room alone. Assured of his gentlemanly behavior, they spoke no more about it.

Until the morning, they found Taylor sitting at the breakfast table.

Aside from the occasional night out with Rebecca or Taylor, life settled into a comfortable pattern for Joe. He was learning so much from his father about running the farm. His parents wanted him to go to college and perhaps find a field that interested him more than farming, but Joe had no burning ambitions and didn't feel any desire to strike off into the world.

He loved working on his old pickup truck, nursing it along to squeeze a few more years out of it. It wasn't pretty, but he took good care of it, learned how to maintain it, and even managed to do some of the repairs on it. Again, it felt good to work with his hands.

He also loved working part-time at St. Germaine's Feed and Supply and had a wonderful confidante in Rene. He kept her up to speed on the progress of his experiments. While he still hadn't moved beyond kissing and touching above the clothes, he knew Rebecca and Taylor were certainly satisfied with their dates, and he was getting much better at controlling the surge.

When summer was over, Amy returned from theatre camp, and Joe picked her up.

In retrospect, he knew he should have been prepared for her retaliation. When a dozen or so girls, aged between fourteen and sixteen, suddenly charged from the bus to leap on him and try to kiss his face, he was so surprised he collapsed under their attack and was soon buried under a pile of young bodies. When they finally gave their kisses, they giggled back to the bus to get their bags and headed off with their parents (who were seriously giving Joe the evil eye).

When Joe looked up from the ground, he saw Amy smirking at him in victory. His face burned in embarrassment, but he supposed he must look exactly like she did two months ago. He tossed her suitcase in the back and drove them home. His face didn't cool off until they reached the house, but Amy's smirk lasted a lot longer than that.

-=-

Things got back to normal with the family all back in the house. The school year started only this time, Joe was done, and Amy was on her own for the first time. No big brother to share lunches with and no big brother to keep the unwanted suitors at bay. While she was only in grade ten, Amy was one of the most eligible females in the school: smart, talented, dynamic, friendly, but most importantly, gorgeous and beginning to show the curves she was growing into. She passed her sixteenth birthday, which she'd celebrated with just her girlfriends, much to the dismay of some young men who'd asked to celebrate it with her privately.

More than one hormonally charged teenager set his sights on having Amy as his girlfriend or just having her in the case of some of the less emotionally balanced. Amy sent most of these horny boys packing with some choice words, but others were either too dull-witted or too aggressive to take no for an answer. Only when she'd exhausted all other avenues would Amy ask Joe to spare a moment to speak to them.

They would be on their way home and suddenly find themselves dangling from Joe's grip, staring into eyes gone cold and black. He used very few words to get his point across, and for the most part, it was very effective. These boys came to understand that ignoring a no had consequences. Word got around.

Unfortunately, there was one fellow by the name of Damien Rossman who thought he was entitled to any girl he desired. As one of the star defensive tackles on the football team, he ignored the warnings of his fellow players and decided that Amy would be his. He knew he could wear her down and charge through her defenses. This harassment continued for a week until Amy arrived home from school one day in tears.

Joe had been preparing to go to work and was immediately at her side. He listened to her explain that she had been unable to make him leave her alone, and today he'd grabbed her ass in front of the other girls before she got on the bus. Joe calmly asked for his name, then had Amy look up his address on her phone. He memorized the route and told Amy not to worry as he'd speak to the boy. He got in his truck and drove off.

It was a bit of a distance, but as Joe pulled up to the house on the remote county road, he recognized the two men on the lawn tossing a football between them. Derek and Kevin were twins and had graduated when Joe did. They'd both been defensive tackles on the football team. Joe recalled hearing that it was just the four men living out here.

The oldest brother was sitting on the steps drinking a beer with Damien. He'd graduated three years earlier, had also played on the high school team as a defensive tackle, and was currently playing the position for his university team. Joe couldn't remember his name.