All Comments on 'Wanda Taken Down at the Gym'

Yikes! Can't wait to see how they manage to get out of this one! Looking forward to the next chapter.

I have mixed feelings about you predicting that Wanda and Julie will come out ok. I am glad that my obvious affection for the characters came through. I struggled quite a bit about a sexualizing an assault and playing it for titillation purposes. I justified it by making the bad guys fairly contemptable. The site dinged me hard a couple of times about the age thing so I lost some of my history of Dillon stuff. If people aren't affraid for my characters then my villians might be underwritten.

I think the story is throwing plenty of curve balls. Honestly, I'm just hoping they get out of it okay. If anything, that's more of a compliment on how you've managed to develop the characters and make the reader care about them. It's something not many stories on this website actually manage. Personally, I don't think the plot is predictable. Just excited to see where it's going.

This takes place after "Wanda Takes A Call And A Shower"

Comments:

I HATE reading shit like that only after opening a story. Since it's obvious you don't give a fuck about your own story, you have no reason, no right, to be pissed this was rated a 1.

I actually really appreciate negative feedback when it offers specific issues that I can address. I agree that I did a poor job of titling my series. It kind of got away from me. If I had it to do over I would title my work better. I didn't mean for it to be a series. It was really just a one-off based on a pool party incident with a high school girlfriend. It was a sexy memory that I carried around for years. Anyone who reads my work can tell I am clearly a boob guy. The idea of experiencing a girl's breast for the first time is always sexy for me. I wasn't jealous of my girlfriend as a possession I was jealous that people got to experience her breasts for the first time. I remembered how amazing it was the first time I saw them. So I wrote a heavily embellished version of the pool incident where everyone made it as big a deal as it was for me. I had fun writing it. I enjoyed writing it so much that I expanded on the theme and continued the narrative to the after-effects back at school. I wanted to counter some of the rapey/assault vibes of the story with a happy ending reunion. The feedback from that was positive about my couple and my descriptive appreciation of breasts. So I expanded to a loving encounter heavy on my descriptive style with an open-ended idea for final comeuppance for big bad of series. I wanted to build up my villain more so I did a spinoff in the future. I wrote it in a way that I could explore my ENF kink but with less of a rapey vibe. Which led me back to the original series. It really has snowballed I am hoping my repetitive style hold up long enough to finish strong.

I love Wanda and Julie but the attacks are almost distracting. you're going in a nice direction having Wanda train as a boxer. I know you started the series by wanting to explore humiliation, but that's not what the story seems to want to do. Let the story be what it wants to be. The good parts are great.

I realize this may be unrealistic. The feedback I get has been in the direction of just develope the relationship advice. I am taking that to heart and after the next story that concludes the high school arc of the story, I have a relationship based arc that really gets away from the humiliation theme. The humiliation stuff will get explored in spinoff side series about the villains. People who like the Wanda and Julie relationship stuff I hope will be happy for 8 or 9 stories. The humiliation fans I hope will stick it out while I backburner that for a while. Thank you for the feedback and advice I think you will be especially pleased with the direction of the series.

You have true talent - uncommon skill, at delivering the titillating nuances of a scene in slow motion. So VERY balanced i am left intrigued.

Yet, Truly you have sinned. Have been a naughty one. You really should have had the girl suffer the exquisite Humiliation of her Pussy Revealed - in the classroom scene, and either continued with further escalations of humiliation, or Terminated the series at that point.

Instead you chose to turn things into a Romance novel. WTF ???? I wasted a lot of good time figuring that out.

Because you do have ABUNDANT skill, and i owe you i share this advice with you: Heed the Forest, know which you Visit. Your Trees will take care of themselves.

Greg,

exposure Slut enthusiast ...

Thank you for the feedback. The series definitely took a turn. I love the exposure/humiliation genre of erotic fiction. I am more of a novelist than a short story writer. I am dabbling as a means to practice sex scene writing in my humor/crime fiction series of novels. The target market audience for my novels is heavily female. The feedback I got from female readers was kind of negative on the assault vibe the series is based on. I think a writer needs to be fond of his protagonists. If the writer isn't invested why would the audience be? I don't want to over traumatize my female lead. I did spin the series off to explore the exposure thread and to develop my villains more. I intend for my leads and my villains to cross paths again where the villain has the upper hand again. For the next couple of weeks, Wanda and Julie are going to build their relationship. The villains will be bad separate for now.

I probably will keep the pussy based humiliation to a minimum because one I am a breast guy and I am trying to stay on the right side of the site rules regarding force/nonconsent.