All Comments on '#Wanttotakemytopoff'

Only one small slip up with names at the tail end of the pool scene. Otherwise? EXCELLENT! Waiting for the next chapter. I would love it if Josh gets BOTH the girls, and Greg is a bystander. But, that's just me. Wanting nice guys to finish at the top of the heap.

Fixed said error.

This was a 5 star story until the part where her sister and his brother walk in. It was very realistic until that point then it seemed rushed and unnatural.

Why would Todd leave instead of taking turns with Daphne as her social media followers had suggested?

Hey dude, great work on this story. You took your timw with the character development and that paid off in the end, as I feel like we even get to telate to Todd a little bit. I personally loved the plot twist with Greg and Holly, as well as the subtle tension between Holly and Josh, which adds intrigue and allows you to become more invested in the character development. It's not all about the sex, which is nice. My only criticism is that 1) you should read back through for grammar mistakes, because they're are quite a few, and 2) that you should brush up on your comma rules for your future writing. I don't mean to be a grammar nazi, but there are some times when misused punctuation can confuse the reader. Your narrative skill ans character sevelopmemt is 5-star, I loved it. Your writing would obtain the next level though if you focus on refining your English skills some. Good luck and can't wait for future submissions!

You say to be continued... Very fun story with many avenues to explore next!

Love the characters and the back story. The sexual progression was great. I am impressed and very aroused!

This author isn’t a good writer , their a great writer ! The characters , the pace and flow , the depth of storyline , the sentence structure composition , and finally the cause and effect , in terms of eroticism , all separate the good writers from the poor and mediocre. This author is meets and exceeds those parameters and propels themself into the realm of the great ones !

I am completely enthralled with your writing. I have one small complaint. "I wasn't huge but a solid eight inches" Less than 1% of men have 8" penises when erect. 8" is in fact HUGE. Average is 5". Until now I have not read one of your stories that mentions penis size. Those of us with normal size penises are a bit intimidated by someone who is not "huge but a solid eight inches". I don't think penis size needs to be mentioned in an erotic story. It can be left to imagination.