All Comments on 'War of the Carrols'

my kind of fantasy. dont care much for those wimp or "martyr" husband in other stories. those characters need testosterone.

I can't beleive that a woman could get the male psyche down so well!!! This is a typical male fantasy about a guy done wrong getting even. The story was well done with good characterizations. A few grammer issues, but not so much to detract from the story. Thanks!

the naked on the boat and footbal team to much.

this thing was a masterpiece/ how about more LOL

<p>Let’s see, what elements in this story exist in other slut wife stories? Well, how about an almost sociopathic wife leaving the good-hearted husband and not caring a bit about how it hurts him. Yep, there are a couple hundred stories here at LE about that. Husband decides to get even – well, we’ve seen that in several hundred more stories. Husband becomes fabulously wealthy after the wife leaves…can’t even count how many daydream-fantasies have that cliché in them. Husband finds ways to irritate the wayward wife and the other man she’s committing adultery with…my goodness, I think Softly did every one of those short of using a weapon on him. </p>

<p>In fact, I marked her down for not employing a nuclear bomb on the wealthy other man’s home after beating him with a baseball bat, using his knowledge of the martial arts gained from those years when he was a SEAL/Special Forces/Marine Recon/SAS/mercenary commando/really mean guy…(pick one or more)…to break assorted bones in the other man’s body. How could Softly have forgotten these required plot twists? Hmmmmm…an oversight, I’m sure.</p>

<p>Well, anyway…where are we? Well, how about we see the betrayed husband goes to bed with the other man’s wife/ex-wife to spite the other man. (We’ve seen that 2,000 times…or is it 3,000?) Then, the husband gets wandering wife’s sister in bed too. (I’m not sure I’ve read too many stories where the betrayed husband has a threesome with the other man’s wife <i>and</i> the husband’s ex-sister-in-law, so that’s a plus for this story.) Okay, I’m tired of pointing out the clichés. I quit.</p>

<p>So…is this a satire, writer? I’d like to think it is, but when I find so many grammatical and punctuation errors in a text, I wonder if the storyline was just an accident too. Yes…No? Hmmmmmmmm Alright, I think I’ll give Softly the benefit of the doubt and announce my feeling this story was deliberately written as a satire.</p>

<p>Okay…I can’t resist illustrating one of the grammatical errors: “…he has Marie and I in a stockade…” <sigh> It should be, of course, “…he has Marie and <b>me</b> in a stockade…” I’ve never understood how people can make that mistake, but it sure ruins an otherwise well written paragraph. (Think about it. You wouldn’t say, “…he has I in a stockade…” would you? Please say you wouldn’t.)</p>

<p>So, all in all, and hoping this is a satirical piece, I gave the writer good marks for creativity but low marks for technical merit. Have a nice day, Softly.</p>

Anonymous'comments were exactly right. It is too bad that he didn't leave his writer name so that we could savor his masterworks. Or, maybe he should go see Jack and Ryan to get his money back. Poor Baby!

I loved reading this story Jack was so fresh and original i liked the lottery piece I would love to see how Jack and Pam and the crew make out in this story will Pamela have the baby will he ever tell Pam about the winning of the money he won lets read more of your story bring it on will you .?

Atlanta,Ga

Put a big smile on my face.

Fun fairy tale, but I can't believe the stupid wimp took her back.

Fantasic story telling and we appreciate your efforts! However, we are concerned as to why the "dickless wonder" "Alvaron53" has not taken the opportunity to find fault with the story, author & grammer? Perhaps, Alvaron53 is busy editing the new Webster? Who knows? Of course, that idiot is so busy posting his "perfect stories" to this site that we did not notice! Shame on us! LOL

And if they have not forgotten their daily pill of Ecstasy combined with chilled bear at all times of the day, you could still find them (or join the crew; women bare chested of course) having lots of sex sun and alcohol, no worries in the world. <P>

HOW TO GET THERE: Just around the corner after the last Gas Station turn left, till the end, in sunny Key Largo of course!

A fun way to spend a half hour of some way out fiction. Thanks for your effort.

PT

found this story and it is great,I can't see why it has not got better votes.

Actually, Anonymous in USA, when two subjects are framing a conjunction it depends on where the proper noun is placed. Your example is incorrect.It is " Marie and I" as it is "Me and Marie".Of course "proper" grammar is transformational and topical. I would think that the ridiculousness of the 'fantastical' ending tacked on to the almost believable beginning coupled with the usual evidence of poor editorship -with names transposed- (how friggin hard is that to catch?) might be the appropriate point of rebuttal but that's just me, Me sweat the little things. Or I, huh?

Actually the conjunction has nothing to do with a pronoun being nominative or objective. The verb is what determines that. Since <i>has</i> is not one of the verbs "to be," it requires a pronoun in the objective case. In the example to which you referred, <i>me</i> is correct.

Very different...yeah much different than the normal revenge stories and u pulled it off well. I luv jack and eventually came to luv both mother and daughter slut. Gud job buddy

and not always on the water. TK U MLJ LV NV

Jack, Alan, and the women need to all move in together. After they all have kids by Jack, Wendy should get pregnant by Alan, and all the women should get pregnant by Tom.

...difficult to read, hard to understand with a not very plausible plot.

Anon 'cliche' caught a lot of the problems until enough points were made.

Kolcore mentioned the 'ecstasy 'issue, but did not elaborate. It was THE major tool to impose Hubby's agenda on others! Nonconsent/Reluct was a major aspect and MUCH more prevalent than Sweetie's sex life with her Bull! When in doubt, DRUG 'EM and Blackmail 'em!

Where the fuck did Anon 'Grammar' learn English grammar? (At least it was not spelled 'grammer!') Thanks to Anon 'Re: Grammar' for straightening it out!

I wish I had known, years ago, that I could make a one-time purchase of lottery tickets and become a multimillionaire! IF, of course, I had a righteous and complex mission of revenge against an abandoning and disrespectful ex-wife. Does that method work to make me a thosandaire if I just want to send her nasty emails and call her bad names?

Oh, and Softly, if you want to read my publications, you will have to look elsewhere and search on a different name! Responding to criticism (especially criticism from which you really could BENEFIT if taken seriously) in the fashion you did is WEAK! It reflects on YOU and shows how defensive you probably are!

I suspect Softly started off with an initial LW problem, then let every episode lead into the next (a bit more extreme) episode until that tactic grew the story into a monster! I strongly recommend having the entire story plan in place before recording ANY of it. If a subtwist develops, express if (unless it detracts/distracts) then get back on the master plan! If a much better direction poses itself, make notes and develop that into a NEW tale later!

2*

Where was the revenge? He turned the two innocent girls into whores, took the wife back and made the dreams come true of his mother in law. This was terribly written and an even worse plot.

when he said he had strayed a couple of times. Forget the slut wife, he"s a pussy hound husband.

....The Candy Tours

Until then there were some smallish issues but after the 3-mile limit horn bit the whole thing degenerated to a complete stroke fantasy

Too bad - started OK, but got a little flaky w/ the revenge scenarios

It was nice that there were few readability issues though - that way no one has to waste much time to get to the disappointing ending

I read the entire story. This was bad and poorly written. One of the many worst parts was when Marie's photos arrived and Alan (?) did not raise hell.

If he had sold the house for a discounted price and her half was nothing. Too many mistakes and implausible parts to make this a worthwhile read.

ego aside, an heir is born. TK U MLJ LV NV

Should have been fantasy. Way too unrealistic. 2 **

I find it so very hard to see two husbands just pimping their wives off since they claim to love them. And to a whole team of players. come on there isn't any way they would do that, considering, the money and trouble he went thru just trying to screw up his wife's relationship with her lover. Then pimp her out NAH.

Two many reasons to list, next time write about a pack of dogs fucking, it would be more erotic.

I normally don't comment, but this was poor enough I can't contain myself. As an author, I never tell someone not to write.

In this case, you need to write a lot more and take a few classes before he post anything else online.

This story makes absolutely not sense. First he spent so much money breaking up Pam and John's relationship... then gets her pregnant.... then turns them all into whores....Yes it is whoring since they're paying money for the fishing trip....he would've been better off just saying fuck it and just going with Wendy and Karen. Not sure why Pam and for that matter Marie came back into the picture. There was no love involved.

YOU!! WTF do you keep reading these stories if you fucking hate them so much??WHY!! Because you really fucking love them. 5 fort a good read!!!

If you don't read it you should not comment, you moron.

Vote 1* for every story rated by 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐓 𝐖𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐄 (that's what her clients call her) aka BONNIE/VASTIE aka ANON!

Would have been 4, except for the part of Wendy dosing Pam with X, when she was known to be pregnant. Jack not stopping it, knowing the baby is his, says a lot about his character. Allowing unprotected sex with both women opens them and Pam's fetus to potential STDs. None of the cast was particularly likeable. Voted a 2 for being well written, but ignoring health and congenital risks of recreational drugs a d unprotected sex.

WTF?

A women cannot recognize her own husband if he wears a wig and strange cologne!

Was this story written under the influence of drugs?

He let one of the players bang his pregnant wife. The first kid might be his but the next two could be anybody's

But basically it was a cuck/fag story. Whats the get even? Have all the women sleep with all the guys? Well, if the husband had enough balls he would keep Wendy from doing anything with others. I mean WTF.

Why?

This story is in unacceptable condition! UNACCEPTABLE! Thirty days in the dungeon! Do it better. It wasn't funny, depressing, erotic, or insightful. It was interesting until halfway through, then it fell apart like an old graham cracker.

This story proved once and for all that simple is as simple does. In this case, Simple's also named Jack. 1* for a very frustrating ending

this has got to be the worst story on record on any site in any language

But fell flatter than a pancake. Author must have gotten tired of writing. Too bad!

After reading this I need a little of Kolkores chilled bear. Maybe a lot.

The story went from not too bad to total CRAP.

I mean, isn't it just better to have a little revenge without letting someone back in your life, then move on and be happy? I did like the story right up until the ex and her mother arrived at his door.

I tried skimming , even then it got more idiotic. so In just gave up. Must have been written by an imbecile.zM3sv5

Crap Just Crap. Do not waste your time

This story was just so confusing with so many names floating around. And the man being able to get away with so much sabotage and nobody in town seeing him? It was just to much for me and the author I believe, to keep up with. Wendy left with Tom after the meal then Wendy dissapeared with Donald? in the same paragraph? so it got me confused as to how many Wendy´s were there?

the cheating whore leaves him, he win the lottery, he drugs and rapes her and his MIL, he remarries the stupid cunt and turns her, her mother, her sister, and her lovers ex wife in to prostitutes that dont make him that much money?

I dont think retards are allowed to enter into contracts like marrige, business ownership and the lottery

That is if you have insomnia

The story got silly when he shared all the women, even after he promised to protect them. Did not ask alan regards his wife, rude. Shared his pregnant wife what an asshole

Scores 1/5

3-4* until the last page - that was stupid. 2*

He had: a f**k ton of money

a policeman willing to violate his law man's oath(s) to help to cause pain

All of the date rape drugs that he needed

And he used these things to destroy his faithless wife's life.

How could anyone think that he wouldn't continue to abuse and degrade her, and her mother too.

The seducer got demoted? How much do you think he cared about that? How bad was it for him that people saw photos of an unmarried man naked, with four naked bimbos (Legend!!!)? Since he wasn't really punished, he's probably with another man's wife as we speak.

Absolutely ranks up there with the best of the trash on LW and that is NOT a compliment.

It was a dear penthouse letter from an over sexed teen boy.

A total horny guys escape fantasy but what he hell...we can all daydream. Making a slut as your wife is not part of most guys fantasy, should have kept her as his own.

4/5 till the last page

Then you worked yourself to a zero

Finally 2/5

Wow, your commenters were not nice. I guess what bothered me most was why contrasted all four women. Apparently Jack didn't want Karen, Tuthil's sister or Wendy. After fucking any football team, the women are skags, not fit to stick your clock with all the STDs they are carrying. Maybe Jack is a Dumb shot, like Pam thought, and Ryan was the brains behind all the pranks. Maybe you should write 2 or 3 more chapters to straighten furthermore , that is if you even care.

X YZ

I couldn't get over the statement that Jack must still care for his ex because he set her up for homelessness and humiliation. Like so much of the rest of this story, ludicrous.

5 stars. Stupid crazy fun and laughter.

Silly and ridiculous.

Ordering 20 pizzas to be delivered collect????

How old are you? 15?

The repeated surreptitious administration of drugs and turning the women into sex workers for the football players, especially while one is pregnant with the MC's child, provide many insights into the author's fantasy life. None of those revelations is pleasant, and all of them are pathological. Best we don't know the true nature and depth of his desires when it comes to Tom Brady...

Unreal but then again it is fiction

I READ THESE STORIES ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS AND, WHILE I FIND THE BTB STORIES JUST "REWARDS" I AM EQUALLY AS HAPPY, SOMETIMES MORE SO, WHEN SPOUSES RECONCILE UNDER THE APPROPRIATE CIRCUMSTANCES. HOWEVER, I LOSE PATIENCE WHEN SOMETHING BECOMES UNBELIEVABLE. THAT WAS THE CASE WITH THIS STORY. I WAS "ALL IN" UNTIL HE RECRUITED THE WOMEN TO MAN HIS BOAT... SO I JUST QUIT...

Nothing likeable about this story.

Started out as a decent story and ended as a cluster…Such a lame disorganized ending…

I agree with other reviews. It started out as a good write, but ended ridiculous. 5 stars went to 3 real quick.

I did not like this story very much. It had all the elements to be a good story, but it ends up going in too many directions.

I thought that a rapist as the hero was only a thing at college demonstrations in support of Hamas.