Was Matthew

He put the lubricant and condom aside, though, and pulled me into an embrace. His tongue batted against mine as he tweaked my nipple between his fingers. I could feel his cock grinding against my thigh, and automatically spread my legs so that he could nestle himself between them.

He rolled on top with a contented sigh. He smiled at me lazily, lustfully, enjoying the foreplay. His cock pressed against my groin and his lips met mine. He was taking a lot of his weight on his forearms, but I was still trapped beneath him, completely at his mercy.

He wanted to draw this out as long as he could, but after a few minutes his arousal got the better of him, and he reached for the lubricant. He warmed a little in his hand, and stroked my puckered ring until it was loose. His fingers slipped inside, obviously more easily than he'd expected, because an expression of surprise momentarily crossed his face.

Jakob worked me gently until he was confident I was ready. He tore the condom wrapper open with his teeth, and pulled in onto his cock.

'I love you,' he murmured, as he pressed into me. 'I love you so much, Matthew.'

'I love you, too,' I whispered, feeling him enter. His thick cock left me feeling nicely filled. 'Fuck me. Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me.'

He'd learned a thing or two over the past sixteen years. He was an excellent lover, not too rough, not too gentle, not too speedy, not too slow. His breathing grew more uneven as he approached climax. I could feel his balls slapping against me, and see the lust in his eyes.

One second he was nearly there, and the next he was coming, his face contorting as he madly grunted and thrust into me. I watched in amazement, a bubbly, joyous feeling in the pit of my stomach as he used my body to satisfy himself.

I knew that unlike our lovemaking in our teens, this time he'd been physically attracted to my body. He didn't just like my cock, he liked my breasts and my soft stomach and my squishy bum. I felt as if I finally capable of satisfying him not only emotionally, but sexually.

'Shit, that was good,' he said, giving me a quick peck. 'I'll go and clean up in the bathroom. Please don't get dressed. I want to stare at you a little bit longer.'

Jakob finished cleaning up and returned in record time. True to his word, he surveyed my body lazily and contentedly, before letting me pull him into a hug. He was little spoon. He'd always been little spoon.

'I remember these moles on your shoulder blades,' I said, kissing the two dark spots.

'Well, I don't remember your boobs being half as good as they are now,' he countered.

I laughed and kissed him. 'The sex was better.'

'The sex was perfect.'

'Almost perfect. You called me Matthew,' I corrected him. I wasn't offended, not in the least, but I was curious to see if he'd remembered it.

'What?' He rolled over onto his back and groaned. 'Seriously? Oh fuck. And here I was thinking I finally did a hundred percent job.'

His expression made me laugh. I gave him a quick kiss, and smiled to show I wasn't offended.

'Give me twenty minutes and I'll do a perfect job,' he promised me.

He was so sincere that I burst into laughter. I laughed so hard I fell off the bed, landing on my pile of unworn, discarded clothing with a thud.

Jakob came and peered over the edge. 'Dork,' he said.

That's when I started to cry, not out of misery, but because everything was so fucking perfect I could barely stand it.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jakob and I waited a month to ensure we weren't just acting out of lust, or imaging the other to be nothing more and nothing less than the person we'd once known them to be. Only when we were completely satisfied that we could make this relationship work did we agree to tell Angel and Luka.

I told Luka on the way home from cricket training. He'd met Jakob only briefly, but the two had got on well and I thought he'd be pleased with the news.

'Does this mean you'll be moving in with him?' he asked.

'I think so. Is that a problem? You barely spend a night at my house these days. I'll still see you exactly the same amount as I used to. Nothing will change.'

'Shit. Mum's having another baby. I was kind of hoping that I could live with you for a bit. But Jakob's only got a small house, doesn't he?'

'Uh, yes.' That threw a spanner in the works. I gave him what I hoped was a confident smile. 'I'm sure we'll work something out. If Jakob and I need to stay living separately for a while until we figure it out, then that's what we'll do.'

After I finished work the following Sunday, Luka and I went around to see a movie with Jakob and Angel. Angel was still struggling with her mental health and her eating disorder, and although I wish I could tell you differently, that one would take years to resolve, but she was quite friendly towards Luka and he was thoroughly besotted by her.

I tried to imagine how we might appear to an outsider. Did we look like a normal family; Mum, Dad, two teenage kids? We probably did. When Jakob was out with Angel, people assumed he was her girlfriend. When I was out with her, people assumed she was my daughter. When the four of us were together, we barely attracted a flicker of attention. I guess we just weren't the sort who looked like we were going to make a fuss.

Afterwards, we dropped around to his parent's house. They wanted to see me, apparently. I was scared. Terrified. I thought they might be angry at me for abandoning their son all those years ago, even though Jakob told me they weren't. He said they wanted to ask me something.

Neeltje had passed on a few years ago and they had a new, male dog, who greeted us at the gate with plenty of barking. My family has since moved on from the area and down to Sydney, but Jakob's parents still lived in the same house he'd spent his childhood in.

There was a photo of Charlie, Jakob's son, on the wall. It was the exact same one that Jakob had in a silver frame on his bedside table. I averted my gaze, and tried not to think about the baby. There is nothing so terrible as the loss of infant life.

The house was otherwise exactly the same as I remembered it. There was the same smell of coffee and cigarettes, the same jar of salted licorice on the table, the same warm greeting from his parents.

It had been five years since I saw my own family. They demanded I dress as a man for a family event, I refused, and we'd both cut contact. I had been concerned that when Jakob's parents saw me and were confronted with the physical evidence of my change that they might act the way my parents had, but that wasn't the case.

It was a beautiful day and we went outside and down to their garden to have coffee and cake. It was very nice, very pleasant. We ate and chatted, and kept throwing the ball for the Keeshond, who kept running after it, collecting it, and dropping it at our feet.

Angel, who refused a piece of cake and instead sipped on black tea, threw the ball for Wilhelm for the millionth time, when it landed on the roof of the house.

'There are more balls in the laundry,' Mr M told her. 'You and Luka should go and get them. Jakob and I need a cigarette break.'

The kids went off to get the ball. Jakob and his father wandered away from us to have a cigarette. That left just Mrs M and I, and as we sat together, I realised that we had been intentionally separated from the others.

I glanced up at her nervously.

'This is amazing,' she said, leaning over and touching my hair. 'I'm so happy for you.'

'I can see my flaws.'

'Can't we all? At least you're young. So much of your life is ahead of you.' She cut herself another slice of cake. 'Jakob said that your son wants to live with you again.'

'Um, yes.'

'There's not much room at Jakob's house. He bought that place when he and Renee separated. I think he thought he'd spend the rest of his life alone.'

'It kind of suits him,' I said.

'Not anymore. He needs a bigger house. He needs a bigger house and my husband and I need a smaller one. I said to Jakob 'we should swap'. He agreed, but said I should ask you. So, Kaylee,' she smiled. 'You live here with your family, and my husband and I enjoy living in a villa, with the freedom to travel here and there as we please?'

'I, uh...' I was stunned by her generosity. Her house would suit us wonderfully. While it only had three bedrooms and one bathroom upstairs, the downstairs was built in and had a separate full bath. It would easily accommodate myself, Jakob, Angel and Luka, not only now but well into the future. 'I... are you sure?'

'Of course. This is a family house. It's meant to have a family in it.'

That's when I cried, again.

Fucking oestrogen.

She came over and hugged me. 'We've always loved you, Kaylee. It's so nice to have you back in our lives.'