All Comments on 'Was She or Wasn't She...My Daughter?'

Interesting story. And fascinating. Characters are just like real life jerks. And still the good guy won in the end.

The dickhead Jerry deserved a broken nose minimum. Hopefully he is cheating on Lois already and she finds out soon.

But its not my story.

Wow, was that weird; a really good weird though. I'd have to give it a 5 just for creativity alone. (:

Didn't work for me.

She cucked him, deceived him, kept up with a worthless, conceited bling merchant?

She wasn't even a mother, even though she was... and left the raising of the child to the man she continually betrayed, and then you let them enjoy being in the circle of relationships that form a family?

She's a stone cold, selfish, heartless bitch, with no legal claim, even on her own daughter. She doesn't even WANT to be a mother to her own child.

She should have been left out in the cold, and the lawyer should have had an 'accident' in the latest red pimp mobile.

I get moving past things, but how do you treat someone like that woman, who has never had to face a consequence, and isn't even sorry for the devastation she wrought?

The grandparents... fine. They deserve to know their grandchild,it goes without saying. But her? Let her reap the harvest of the seeds she sowed herself. Let her grow old with all of the love and family she deserves... none.

You've got to be kidding. Aside from Christine, who is an angel on earth, the kids (who are blameless) and his parents who are borderline saints, everyone else is shit. He is a spineless ass, his former wife who is super-slut, and Ferrari boy who is a fuck head, no one else is worth a shit. Even the hospital administrator, who should have had his ass sued all the way to next week. EVEN The Bear is better than that. My guy in "You're Under Arrest" Had more balls than this ,and he got snookered for 17 years. The Bear does not approve. Go nuclear on them.

The BEAR

Wow, what a twisted tale of deceit, lies and coverups. Brian go screwed over big time but in the end he got Christine and his Betty back as his daughter.

Nope. Jerry would have gotten a great ass kicking at some point

Why would Brian have anything to do with Lois? She betrayed him and Betty and now she wants to be an aunt? MO!!! Lois can not be trusted and Jerry should be kept away from this new family.

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Otherwise an enjoyable story.

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Pasqual

WOW!!!!

The last para fucked it up for me!!! She may hve been a shitty mom…that’s not in her hands …but a marriage based on deceit ? A fuck with ex hubby a day before marriage? Keeping the husband in the dark for so long….no way no how would I ever even allow the two shitholes ( Lois and Jerry) to even be around the kids !!!

Well done, enjoyed it completely. Definitely a twist on a standard trope 5*

I would NEVER let the two cheaters anywhere near my daughter EVER!!!

One helluva story, love it. LP

What a weak man this HERO guy.

While I get why some thought this was a real good story, in the end it wasn't though.

For starters the whole ending thing required so much suspension of disbelief that its easier to believe SpiderMan is real.

The other issue with this story and so many others is that the wife is so over the top stupid and slutty one cant get any emotional connection with their marriage. Yes the way you and other writers do these it get the knuckle draggers riled up but anyone that requires more than a lazy "Ill get your blood boiling because shes a slut" wife it falls on its face.

No comment necessary.

The bit with Lois and Jerry at the end was beyond absurd. -1

I really like Brian! He's not wasting a second being bitter or "getting even", as though something petty and vindictive you do after the fact can make up for past actions and hurt feelings... My man said FUCK FEELINGS and stopped caring, and his life was better because he moved forward instead of clapping back. 5 middle fingers to the haters, you think everybody should be a bastard because you are? Okay, Joker!

"Mom sat there crying. My phone rang. It was Lois. I turned it off. I have never been much of a drinker, but I took a bottle of Dad's whiskey, went outside and sat on the porch. He followed me. We sat there talking about the restaurants, mom's new car, my little league baseball team and our favorite movie, The African Queen. We talked about everything but Lois and Betty. At six, Mom came out and asked if we were hungry. We both said no. Twice Dad went inside to pee. I never moved. Midnight came and we were still there. He peed two more times. We never touched the whiskey."

Good stuff!

cucks get one star

sure let the grandparents have a relationship, but never the whore

I gave it 5 stars for interesting story, although I'm tempted to do 1 star for rewarding the shit persons with good life wirh all they want and zero punishment. So 3 stars in the end.

Fuck Lois and Jerry!!!!

Very enjoyable story with lots of twists and turns. I think you handled the questions of the improbabilities quite well! This is a second read - bumped it up one star.

The bitch skank Lois still has it good

Gee, that was a handy little expose by two well informed bystanders in a barbeque joint just as the mc walked in!

I keep telling myself that readers are supposed to base their ratings on two things, both having to do with the "writing" of the story.

So: --1) Was the actual writing of this tale competent and the construction consistent with the criteria any writers' workshop instructor would think necessary for a clear understanding of what was being conveyed without distraction from mis-spellings, awful grammar and syntax, confusion in who the main characters were and did they remain logically relevant as the story progressed.

Conclusion: Yes, at a 5 star level.

2) Was the idea which served as the basis for the tale creative? Imaginative? Actually possible in real life and therefore believable, providing a context within which the story could play out without the author having to turn corkscrews to make an ending plausible? Or did the author have to play with the "deux ex machina" ("God in the machine, so to speak) which would magically appear and make everything turn out the way it should be-- which in this case was "happily ever after". Conclusion: Well...no. It looked like the plot development was going to fall into the "excellent" category (in my estimation)...and then along came Chris in the pizza parlor and suddenly the two sweet innocent little girls were united not only with the "right mother" for them both, but the "wicked witch of the west" Lois becomes all sweetness and light and dutifully transitions into a loving "doting auntie" for all the little kiddies. Sorry--not in the least believable...but sweet.

Conclusion: For most of the story 5 out of 5. For the "pull it out of the ass" ending from The Outer Limits of Credibility...being generous maybe a 2.

Averaging it out it becomes 3.5 which...because I actually liked the damn thing--4 out of 5.

But who cares what I think. You write well BaMuoiBa. Keep doing it. More please.

Great Story!! I Loved It!!

Both Lois or Jerry are immoral, self-obsessed, dishonorable, reprehensible human beings. They certainly make abysmal role models for young children.

If Brian and Chris will permit contact with the children they should minimally limit Lois and Jerry's time with the girls and be sure that one of them is always present when they visit. This is not an act of revenge but one of love for and recognition of their parental responsibility for the controlling the environment they will allow their children exposed to. It would be wise to make this clear to Lois and Jerry as a condition of their relationship.

The Lois character was portrayed as a disreputable cheating bitch who fraudulently used the kindness and generosity of a loyal husband and father to her illegitimate baby, ended up ridding herself of said unwanted child while getting back with the shallow Jerry and his collection of imported cars. No redeeming qualities whatsoever

Second read, by accident.

I think I liked it more this time, and even though the 'bump into the ex-wife' at the end was a bit contrived, the entire story was, in my humble opinion, well-written.

All things considered, I gave it 5 stars, mentally putting it into the "RAAC" category of stories, albeit somewhat 'bent' !

Good job, from another Nam Vet. Four stars. JPB

Just no.

A charming story. It felt real to me. The characters jumped off the page. Thanks for this.

A FIVE UNTIL THE LAST PAGE.

Story had potential then went to crap. Not for any BTB but why would parents want to expose their kids to two deceitful, selfish, rotten adults? I think the writer went too far to concoct a United set of circumstances. He also went over board with the male M/C’s goodness.

Damn 33, this tale is rife with coincidences, I can almost see Jimmie Stewart and the apprentice angel talking this one over, tis maudlin and I like it 5-stars worth - unbelievable or not.

The two children seemed to end up withe right parents in the end!

5

I thought he had a Ferrari, but ended with a Lamborghini?

Too much coincedence.

That Loius and Jerry where despicaable people, why should they make friends with them?

jopstorm1945

I think the delightful way that this story was laid out was terrifying at first, tense second and heroically fabulous in the end. anybody who seems to think there were too many coincidences is a very shallow reader. (probably just reading for wanking material)

Well done. I would have made one change. The red Maserati would have been stolen at night during a car jacking resulting in the death of the driver. But that's just me.

The only place for Lois is beneath a rosebush. The end.

I do like this story. She admits she would never be a good mother, but she wasn't a good wife, either. In the end I really like the family as it ends up and even the ex redeems herself.

This story was just ripped off by one of those YouTube "cheating wife story" websites, and the Russian fool (she does the intro) is too stupid to realize she only stole the first two pages. I suspected since most of their other stories are stolen from here, so I searched the names, and, "Voila!" Why the Bimbo that owns/runs Literotica (Lauren?) allows these plagiarists to mine this site for material the thieves can monetize is beyond me. Yeah, this website has a site copyright. This is one of the most well-written stories I've ever read.

@anon below me: LoL, do you have any idea what you're even talking about? First, it's really quite difficult to actually prevent data mining if somebody is determined to do it.

2nd, you just mentioned a russian fool. Do you really think a russian fool is going to care about copyright? While I haven't looked at the agreement between writers and literotica, I'd be very surprised if the authors are assigning copyright over to literotica. A site copyright probably isn't what you think it is. So, yeah, it's a more complex situation than you realize.