All Comments on 'Watching a Movie with Emmy'

this is one of the best stories i've ever read on the site - thank you!

Wonderfully written and totally believable, 11 out of 10. My girlfriend had a similar experience with her brother, they started out masturbating together. You might like to read about it..Young Island by Girls_cum_first.

Keep writing AddieQ !

Tom

Excellent story. I wrote a story with some similar elements but yours is much better. I love that you moved the story slowly, using the repetition of the movie scene. The pajamas from when she was a girl was a brilliant touch. And the descriptions of him moving under her pajamas was exciting. Fyi, I love stories about women with small breasts and a romantic but intoxicating glass of wine. And a little anal tease is always fun. I see you have several stories already, with the POV from both the male and female narrator. I plan to read more and try to guess your gender and location. Such a mystery! --Anonymous in the desert.

you borrowed lines from your other stories which is kind of dumb.

I haven't read any other of your stories, but this one was one of my favories

I loved the story. It had a slow build, which really turned me on. Well-written.

it was amazing

great story

Wonderfully romantic, tender, and loving - what a great bor/sis story (or ANY story, for that matter) should be. The only small complaint was that Emily seemed a bit <u>too</u> fragile. Probably just me, though. Great story, wonderfully written!

Very loving and sensual. Just like it should be for first time. Sexy brother and sister love.

nice slow build, well written, romantic but very sensual too.

This was great. Exactly how any woman's first time should be. And the love was something you conveyed very well. I could almost feel it. I normally don't read brother/sister stories, but I'm glad i read this one.

honestly the most well written story ive read. it wasnt about lust but love.

Is the brother suppose to be a dude, or a teenage girl in disguise? I mean, seriously, what guy uses that type of dialogue in real life? I realize that this is a site for fictional stories, but if you're writing about a guy horny enough to do his own sister, you shouldn't make him such a pussy. Sorry if what I said seems cruel, but really...? Lame.

Yeah; because being a machismo feuled cunt and experiancing sexual passion are impossible to separate from one another. I think I feel legitimate sympathy for the previous reviewer.

Anyway; this piece weirded me out, if only because the girl was so similar (in name, character and appearance) to a young lady I know. Until I picked up on the references to red hair I was getting worried that it was the same girl, and that I was going to have to come and sort you out with a pipe wrench.

Writing was strong. The repetition of entire paragraphs was really strange, and I did find myself wondering if it was an unconventional artistic device or simply the result of haphazard editing. Regardless, given the motif of the story I felt that it worked well.

I'd also applaud you on knowing when to stop. It's very refreshing to see one of the more romantic outings on the incest circuit not feel the need to force five-hundred words of deux-ex-machina 'end tying up' onto the end of the text. Your story concluded exactly when it needed to.

A very pleasant read overall. Romantic without being convoluted and hot without being ridiculous. Thumbs up.

This is a great story i got to say but you should try to continue the story.

What a sweet story this is. There aren't many stories on this site that display the patient tenderness and languid pace that your story exhibits. Please continue writing. You're definitely fulfilling a niche market on this web site (which is otherwise a wonderful and treasured erotic resource )!

Your stories make me so hot reading them. Just thinking about reading the next one makes me start to get wet. I just have to make my little cunny cum after reading (or during!!). Thanks and keep it cumming! :)

Well done!

This is wonderfully written. Starting slowly and ending up in a marvelous climax. Truly a love story, erotic as hell, but not pornie. Loved the whole story.

CONTINUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beautifuly written. Excelant job.

Pacing is perfect; excellent characterizations make these two kids seem believable, unlike most of the incest stories on this site. A powerful story, very well told. As some of the other comments have said, this is a love story, not porn. And I think you ended it right where it should end. A "Chapter 02" would spoil it all.

One small point: when he got to the cabin he "tidied it up a bit." If a cabin has been sitting unused for that length of time, it needs a lot more than a bit of tidying up, b/c it will smell of mold, mildew, and rodents. Trust me; I know these things. (Hahahaha!) It takes hours to get it into shape for a love-nest.

there was one thing you really really fucked up... Or you consider it romantic that she gets drunk and lose her virginity to some douche? Her losing it to a man she loves is more romantic in my honest opinion... I mean rape is not my cup of tea sorry, and here if the guy is sober and the girl is drunk it is considered rape... Those few paragraphs killed the rest of the story completely for me, and dropped the vote from 5 to 2 stars. I have favorited most of your stories, but this one goes into my trashbin, never to be read again. Surprised it got past your proofreader to be honest. :)

I'm really sick of your stories. They're all the same. You simply change the title and the names of the characters and copy and paste everything else. Sure the main story lines are different but the language is exactly the same. Be creative. It's sickening.

In reply to the comment that I use some of the same text over and over.

Yes - I do this.

These are my stories, and my fantasies. My creative eagerness is to create a mood, and I just LOVE writing about the build up. I get bored writing about the "doing-it" part. So I'll very often just cut & paste text I've already written.

Sorry if that annoys you. I am up front about it. I've said as much in my profile bio.

Alas, I am writing for ME, and not you.

peace,

addie q

If you are writing for YOU not us - then don't bother posting your duplicated work. You are both lazy and arrogant.

I understand you are an amature, but it seemed like the first two pages were the same. I do appriciate the build up, but you did not really go anywhere with it. The guy seems too unbelievable and comfortable with the situation. They both sound like virgins and their innocence seems unrealistic for their age. They are both in college and all the language and pornography is completely startling? But they somehow think it is a good idea to loose their virginity to eachother? Also you need to expand your synonyms. You use "my beautiful little sister " in every reference to her. For something published on the net, you need to understant that your work is fair game for criticism.

Your stories are good thus far but as u clearly state repetive throughtout all your stories and as much as i LOVE build ups this story is too repitive ive read stories that build up not just over pages but split chapters so i understand ur need for build ups but be alil less repitive and let ur creativity and imagination run wild possibaly not copy and paste from other stories it doesnt all have to be about the same self-consious sister and caring brother with different names and settings i know its for YOU but you are posting them online and therefore need alil more creativity to keep us tuning back in you have so much potential to wirte awesome long build up ball churning stories i look forward to see if u unlock it in furture stories remember when u post online its for US too good luck and i hope u take this as postive criticism and not just another anonymous attack on your work (as i dont have an account as im a reader not a writer so why have another empty profile on here?) goodluck and goodbye for now.

Keep writing. Ignore the negative comments. Funny how some will read a long story and write mean comments. Why not just find something they like. Anyway keep it up. I liked it

This story pulled me in and kept me. It felt very real and made me wish I was Emmy. I read it before, and I still got turned on and enjoyed reading it this second time. AddieQ, if you have it in your heart to write more about them, I would be honored to read it.

For those who did not like it... sorry it wasn't hard core or vulgar enough for you. This was a refreshing love story about two siblings' first time.

I have read more than my fair share of stories on this site, this story does have potential to be a great story, but there are some areas you could improve on. Such as the dvd player going to a specific seen of ''its own accord''. And considering their ages they seemed way to innocent, plus you should think a lil realistically, a porn movie, even a soft core movie wont make someone freak out when they see a woman have an orgasm. But I have to agree that a good build up is great to have and you seem to have the potential to come up with a great build up with a lil more work

and uninvolving. Not good, interesting or even mildly entertaining.

I enjoyed it like the sensual bits and all but it was way too like emotional to be that erotic and it just kept losing me at the points where they stop everything they are doing and then cry about things that weren't very interesting but all-in-all it was a good story

Ignore the negative comments. The 'dull' comment probably wanted some 7th grader writing about "he whipped out his 10inch kok and fucked her to 20 orgasms and then shoved 4 fingers up her virgin ass" type bullshit. ugh.

This was Artistry. Plain and simple. I didn't jack off so much as slow stroke myself with anticipation throughout the entire story. I didn't even want to get off, just enjoy the exciting buildup.

The poetry and alliteration of the video tape scenario was absolutely ingenious!

On a more personal striking note, this touched me (pardon the pun) since I don't have a sister but she was so close to the dreams of what a sister I always wanted that it gave me shivers.. (except I prefer a smaller tush) ...oh, and my name is Michael so I immediately smiled like a Cheshire cat...and her name is one of my top five picks for a sister's name! :) (my first choice being the girl who took my virginity;)

I've already bookmarked this and saved it to a text file to my desktop for repeat reading! THANK YOU for an awesome and delightful read in the sea of crap that I'm forced to mire through here to find gems!

M@

Don't listen to those losers with their negative comments. I love stories like this with emotions and love and gentleness. This is a story of love and making love; not just fucking. some people seem to have a difficult time understanding the difference. Keep up the great work. Looking forward to more.

I wish Emmy wasn't such a whiny helpless little puppy. That's such a turn off. Otherwise I enjoy your style of writing and how you describe sex scenes. I liked the slow buildup and the understated yet elegant description- it was all rather lovely.

But how about you get a girl with some spine next time? I had to skip over all her crying and insecurities (whaa I'm not as pretty as a porn actress, whaa my ass is too big and I can't have kids, cry cry cry, GOD). Insecurity is such a boner-killer.

LOVED IT! Warm, gentle and caring; yes I know that's not what most people want when stroking their tool but I adored this and my only problem was it stopped too soon. Those who didn't enjoy it I suggest stop watching today's faceless, agressive identikit porn and start looking for something deeper in theirs lives. More like this? YES PLEASE! Especially of this story.

This was a most beautiful story .it aroused me to the point of ejaculation without touching myself MMMMMMMMMM you sure know how to write

Only thing I didn't enjoy was the repeated text about the movie and how both spoke to each other in the first couple of pages. The wording was repeated over and over and made for dull reading. That aside, it was enjoyable reading and hope to find more of this story in another chapter.

Please tell me it's real or based on a real movie?

sorry, i just made it up

addie

Extremely sensual, very vivid. Excellent

I enjoyed the basis but sadly the story made it sound like she really was 12, ive never heard anyone bofore get scared watching erotic movies, damn this girl is in college away from home 18 years old, if she were that bad she should be home with "mommy"

Your story does alot of repeating too, how many times do you tell us the woman was on all fours, damn it only needs once till she bloody well moves to a different position !!

Spelling and editing needs addressing too and maybe a proof reader.

I read it till the end but did alot of skipping of paragraphs as they were much the same with many repeats which kinda made me a little bored in places but i wanted to read it through.

So, yes it was sensual but just didnt have that umphhh but thats just my opinion.

Thanks for the story 3* only !

Far too often people attempt to play editor and lose sight of the true importance, did it excite them? My answer, yes! It was a great story. The erotic build up based in innocence is perfect in a world filled with 'seen it alls'. Thank you for writing it.

I liked some of the plot devices like the stuck explicit movie, but I think the infertility as a motivator felt contrived. The only thing it "added" was that he could inseminate her at the end without risk. (And isn't the risk and abandon part of what makes that exquisite?) I'll accept that her sadness was necessary for the story you wanted to tell, by I think it would serve the story better if it were driven by something else (albeit something non-trivial).

Her supposed naivite about male physique also felt unnecessary and didn't add anything at all.

I though the sex was very well done - slippery hands, strong palming are heavenly, but some of the repetitive leadup could have been removed. Not to speed it up, you could replace it with something else equally languid, just so the reader isn't seeing the same thing over and over.

Maybe he could fawn over and explore different aspects of her than mostly her cute bottom to fill out the time. Nape of her neck, small of her back, feet, full thighs, his own erection as she ground against him. There's lots to choose from while keeping the nice pace you have.

I'm fine with the borrowed elements from your other stories, as part of a refinement process, if you will, but they should actually become more refined in the process.

As has been said about other stories of yours, I think you would do well to seek an editor to help you put forward your best work.

I must agree that the young sister sounded as if she was 12 or 13. And he acted as if he was also a virgin.

This story uses the word "bottom" 65 times.