All Comments on 'Watching the Clouds'

Nothing interesting here. Remind me again why this was written?

Why was this written? I seem to feel rather ambivalent towards the piece.

It's very human, a refreshing story about feelings, much better than a lot of the so-called erotic stories on this site, regardless where in which category it's posted

Not sure how I feel about the 'dam breaking' on his emotions, but I very much liked the hollow shell characterization. Others have tried, but it usually comes off as sullen of quietly angry. The emptiness you describe for you character was well done.

Really liked the story and your style of writing. Bit of a quick turnaround of emotions for him but hey its a story.

Many thanks for sharing

I would have much preferred an ending where Ralf is left forever a broken man. And Anna stays with him because she too is broken. They do not get back together. No sex either.

But they stay friends. Each a damaged in their own way clinging onto each other.

A very good story and a very good day for LW...This story is the second 4* today!!! Must be because the Xmas month has began!!! Two broken souls that healed each other...It was necessary for him to find out about her and be destroyed by it, for her to begin her healing and after that decide to heal him too...Thank you for the story...Not boring at all, as you warned in the begining...And to you, your family and all writers and resders of LW a Marry Xmas and a Happy New Year...

But by the end, I gave it a 5. Wasn't perfect and I would have preferred to see it take longer; but two broken people healing. What's not to like about it.

She was a drug addict and he didn't know? She got kicked out of school because of it and he didn't know? She was a prostitute and he didn't know? Her parents paid for rehab only after she was a whore? She would rather be a whore than tell anyone about her addiction? Her addiction as an excuse kept coming back to me after it was revealed. It doesn't ring true and interfered with the rest of the story. Ever know an addict?

1. You will see them high

2. Their behavior changes even when they are not high

3. Before they would start prostitution, they would steal family funds, an it would be noticeable

4. Once she started as a prostitute, the drug use would get more intense and more noticeable

5. She would have declined so severely by that time even an idiot would know there was a major problem

6. There is next to no recovery from her lifestyle. It is much more likely that she would have died from a drug overdose or aids within two years rather than cleaning up and coming back to him

7. It would have been more interesting if her reappearance was a possible result of his psychotic break from reality rather than reality itself.

And I gave it a 5*, even though I do have one or two niggles.

1. Its never explained why Brock went overboard like he did as going by what was said, it was above and beyond the punishment he would normally dish out to someone bothering one of his ladies.

2. The turnaround was perhaps a little too fast, as others have said, and they came back together somewhat abruptly.

Having said that, I still gave it a 5 because for once, the sex was a result of the reconciliation rather than the reason for it... Which makes for a refreshing change.

I was also deeply touched by the descriptions of his emotional journey, but would love to see a part two that explored the story from Anna's side.

"Because I love you."

I nod. I've already guessed that much.

Yeah, right...

So not only the Brits are cucks, Germans too?

Next time you might want to be more specific in your warning, something like: "This is the most vile, absurd, pathetic RAAC story you'll ever read. Beware!"

I'm not gonna touch any more of your posts. 1*

...so your warning was wasted. Worse than wasted, it was useless. People who know your style don't need the warning. People that don't know your style won't be warned because you don't bother to tell them. Try this, "Warning, WACC and RAAC ahead!"

Keep writing. I like your stories. Maybe a little over the top but that's what fiction is for.Stretching the normal. Would most men take her back? Probably not.But who cares.Fun read Keep.going

I really enjoyed this story. Despite the naysayers, these kinds of break ups and reconciliations do happen to real people all the time. People who think this couldn't possibly happen in real life have lived a sheltered (or shuttered) existence. You captured the feelings of the characters very nicely.

Although the mindless btb crowd won't like it because the protagonist was not a special forces cia ninja assassin who kills the wife and pimp and rides off into the sunset with a stunning younger beauty who turns up when he discovers the wifes cheating.

it was not perfect and there were a few plot holes but overall it was much better then the tired fare that is so often posted.

so 5*

We found a gem this morning. That has not been happening much of late. This short story was like reading actual literature. I thought it was extremely well done, with the exception of "her's" which is not a word. Forget the apostrophe. This was a well conceived short story.

Wow. Great writing! Whoever talked you into submitting it should be thanked. Always a nice surprise to find a well written story about actual people on this site. Great job.

but hate the comments about people who did not like it, to each our own i can see why people would not like the content.

A good read but the breakdown by Sugna explains very completely what is wrong. Having had several drug addicted family members Ralf's naïve life with an addict is detracting, I have decided to come back later (days or weeks) and read it again and give it a score at that time.

but as someone else said. no way in hell was she a drug addicted hooker for years and nobody knew. drug addicts are very obvious, once you know one you can spot them a mile away.

and entertaining. I liked it!

Excellent story, well written and interesting narrative !

Where have you been hiding this? This is so much better then really any of your other stories ( Sorry but only the groupie one was really much good previously).

I really hope you expand this new talent in the future.

Different. Thought provoking. I do agree that the "hole" is that an addict can't go undetected for that long, but overall this was a very good story.

I very rarely let other commenters change my feelings on a story, but after taking a second look at it and reading the comments, I have to agree with the hole. But only in part.

My wife's brother was addicted to heroin before he found religion. He hid it well for a couple of years until it started to take its toll on him. We only found out when we caught him doing something extreme to get his drug. Much like the protagonist in this story. I could believe that it could be hidden, but not as long as the story suggests.

A real woman would have blamed the husband for her lifestyle and drug addiction. However, this is a poignant and interesting story; a good fantasy.

There is much truth in what has been pointed out about the symptoms of drug addiction. However it is also true that every addict is different. The "middle class" addict can often maintain what seems to be a normal lifestyle while addicted. In a case like this, if she turned to prostitution early enough that she could skip the stealing from the family stage, it is entirely possible that she could hide her addiction successfully, especially as the guy seems to be somewhat easy to fool.

Definitely different and very good. Nice job on capturing emotionless emotion.

Although I have been advised by more experienced authors not submit my own public comments, I want to say two things.

- Thanks to snooker70 and SexyGeek for convincing me to submit this. As I´ve said, this is something that I´ve never planned to submit. And thanks for the positive comments. I´m still a little puzzled about this. I had expected a far harsher reaction.

- The second thing - I´ve recently found out that one of my best friends takes cocaine on a regular basis. No one would have suspected this. We know him for many years and have been on vacation with him quite a few times. He has a normal, well paid job. I am convinced that nobody can notice this in his case. And it doesn´t even matter, it doesn´t make him a less likeable person. To discourage nitpicking, I have left the kind of drug open deliberately.

Fell appropriately this one, having just been forced to sack a long term employee for drug use. It was 'only' marijuana, but it had become regular and he couldn't/wouldn't do anything to stop it. We work with some heavy machinery and simply couldn't risk him injuring our other workers, and he was dangerous till his mind cleared half way through the day. I should add that every other employee supported our decision. That's four in the last ten years, and all for the same reason. Those who think it harmless maybe haven't been responsible for the safety of their workers. Oh by the way ….. 5 stars!

Despite the little plotholes (especially: hiding the addiction and her second life from her husband for so long) it was one of the best submission of the last few months.

Especially Ralf's feelings (or better: missing feelings) were described convincingly.

I doubt that they will make it. She proved to be able to deceive him for such a long time by lies and omissions so that - once he gets back normal human emotions - he will probably be unable to trust her for ever and will question everything she will ever share with him. So his decision is well-advised: no marriage, no kids.

5* from another "German Wimp"

Thank you. As others have said, this is one of the best stories of the last few months.

You did so well to capture one of the ways humans can respond to trauma. As has been said so many live lives of quiet desperation. You have hit upon some of the ways we can counter act that. With purpose then acceptance then gratitude. Thank you for sharing your talent.

fantastic. never read anything that was just half way as erotic as this :-(

good for what ever page. really, but if I send you to the butcher to buy some steaks and you come home with 2 loaf of bread, what would you say ?

mission failed

A perfect story (for me at least). 1. The bitch Burns a bit. 2 She redeems herself. 3. Enough sex to fit the story but no where near a stroke story. 4. Between 2 and 5 pages long. 5. It all works out in the end.

fair point about some addicts being highly functioning and able to hide their addiction from those close to them. But, and I fully realize this is fiction, somebody who is selling her body to feed the addiction, has a pimp with such a hair-trigger and who was so high that she couldn't react rationally when she saw her husband - I don't really think that is the type who could be so high functioning.

Its a little point that did not distract much from a very interesting and different story.

thanks.

It isn't interesting to me. Some women and men, on cheating, never touch it again. Other people can never be trusted. Some people learn, some people don't. Same with other addictions and moral failures.

Just make a case one way or the other. And here, I think you made it. This was not about Anna, IMO. Ralf was a shell, and he wanted to change deep on the inside. That Anna was the mechanism of that change was almost irrelevant. He was looking for a tool to pry open and she happened along.

And as written, she was the only one with any incentive to be that tool.

Now, how credible is it that he would never detect her drug use? I am trying to think of what drug could possible avoid leaving meth mouth or track marks. Cocaine maybe? This is...unlikely but I allow a story one Suspension of Disbelief violation. Okay, she was a highly functional addict who could keep her whoring secret.

Did the rest of the story work from there? Yes!

It was slow, but the tone and the pacing were perfect for THIS story. It also made me think hard about using elements of his personality in other characters I know. If your story makes me think about how to make my stories better, I like it!

Nicely done and I am glad I took a chance on this story.

As for those who don't get it, well . . . they just don't get it, never will, and there's no point worrying about them.

A good story. 4 stars.

Realistic, in that some guys just can't move on. A bit sad that the woman he loved never really existed...and still doesn't. I find that worse than just losing her way.

In real life situations along these lines, my view is the guy should have zero to do with the Ex in any way shape or form (unless Kids are involved and it can't be avoided). No evil intentions or wishes for the Ex, it is that just for him she is bad news squared --- particularly true of a druggie.

Wow, what a cheap, superficial, and simplistic way of trying to get nothing but praise and to avoid having to deal with criticism. Do you make an effort to have your characters act logically? No. Do you try to post something besides another story where the wife shits all over the man she claims to love, and, for no reason given, he takes her back? No. All you did was try to deflect anything that challenges you. Well, the only response that deserves is, "Fuck You."

<P>

It isn't that you want to write reconciliation stories. It's that you really, really, really, REALLY suck at them. If you actually put some effort, some thought, some intelligence into your stories it wouldn't be so bad. You essentially write the same stories over and over.

4* could have been 5, but I don't believe anyone could hide being an addict and a hooker with regularity to fool a spouse. But from that spring board came a great tale.

As I read the story I keep thinking of the Winne the pooh character.... Eeyore.

No other comment really needed. I hope we don't get the asinine critical comments about the whys and what fores from the usual suspects about the content of the story and how it somehow relates to real life. It was just plain great!

4*

But the main character is really ungrateful to his friends. They handle his divorce for him, stick by him for a year or two, but because they don't continue visiting him when he clearly doesn't care to see them anyway, they are not true friends...but the woman who betrayed him, lied to him for years, and had her pimp put him in the hospital, well, she's his only true friend because she puts up with him not being very talkative for a few days.

Thanks for the unique story. I did mostly enjoy it. I think the wife should have needed more than words and a few meals to redeem herself, though.

Cog

We got an Anony a few comments up (down?) from me whining about how the author is avoiding criticism. Fuck him, he's a tool.

Now, unlike him, who cannot rationally explain WHAT was wrong with the story except to say 'it sucked' (at least Sugna broke down what he did not like quite logically), I will explain why he is a complete tool.

Oh...I just did. He did not explain the problems in the story but just whined about it. Because he can't. Because there is nothing fundamentally WRONG with the story. He just doesn't like the taste of it.

The author rather graciously stated that this story was similar to his other stories in style (another wild accusation ripped to shreds by the authors warning), and so if you did not like his stories before, you probably would not like this one. It's called 'saving the reader time'. A touch of manners. It's like this thoughtless commenter hates Thai food, but he STILL GOES TO THAI RESTAURANTS, just so he can bitch about how bad the food is! Despite the fact that other people seem to enjoy the food. He is not wrong for disliking it. He is wrong for being a dick who indulges in this behavior.

I don't like Western Stories. I won't read Western Stories. I do not find it necessary to comment on stories I am unable to appreciate. Why is this so hard to understand?

thank you for a good story!

I am glad whomever it was talked you into posting this story. It is unusual and very well done.

Obviously he was in a state of very severe depression, near suicide. Not because he WANTED, but he could not care one way or the other. He could not take up the effort to keep his friends.

But his doctors should have seen that depression after his beating, and given medicines for depression, or prescribed exercise and sun - or even as a last resort shock therapy. Ok, the docs miss things.

Then he exiles himself away from people, but has a self started job? - incredibly hard for a person in severe depression to do. They not only have no emotion, but find activities hard to do - nothing seems to matter. And they often get physically exhausted from nothing, much less a job where he has to motivate himself - while he recovers from his injuries. This was very weak.

But then when his depression started to lift, he peacefully begins to feel emotion - there is no sudden rages, no bitterness - only good things. weak again.

so it is a well told, but poorly researched story.

You warned us that this story was boring and you were right. 1*

Both find themselves again , she lost to drugs and prostitution. He a broken man after seeing her sell herself for a fix. She recovers from her addiction and makes it up to her recluse x husband,who lets her back Into his life. Happy ending to a sad beginning of life, love happiness and a new beginning.

I was touched.

but still fascinating. The tone of the story was like a meditation. I thought the reconciliation came too quickly. One of the best written stories I've read lately.

A worthwhile experiment. Very sympathetically told.

I thoroughly enjoyed this story. There is the question of why Brock beat Ralf so severely in a public place, presumably he high as well? A well written and well paced piece, (although I noticed a bit of German grammar once or twice). Thank you.

It was a good reading time. There was a couple of grammar but I read for content and story I just recall noting them. Well done on the story and characters - just perfect content no more back story was needed. I would encourage you to keep writing. You write and I will keep reading. Thank you for posting

So many forget that forgiveness is devine. He had every right and privilege to lash out at and send her away. I admire his acceptance of her back into his life. I can truly sympathize with his predicament. Well written.

You've grown into a fine author! This is a beautiful story.

Supportive comments from established writers.

Idiot ravings from Anons.

Par for the course.

I nearly dumped it at first, but I am glad I did not. I think it would have been good to mention brain damage, as otherwise he sounds like some other authors have their husband out of mind by the horror, sheer horror of the infidelity. Anyway, brain damaged as he was, he has started back to life. Should he have noticed thedrug addiction? How should I know, he took her at her word, and maybe had a few problems reading emotions in others. Like HDK said, accept it and the rest flows clear.

Sehr Gut!

Chilley

S224, Nice work and captures the mood,...please keep writing.

He's a loser, and has nothing to lose by letting her play house and be his fuck doll for a while. And if she was a prostitute and a drug addict while they were married, and he had no clue, then his current detachment from reality is not that far from his normal psychological state before his beating. I mean, come on! Your wife has become a whore and addicted to drugs, and you can't tell? I mean, from the time they met, dated, married, up till he caught her, she never changed? Never acted any differently? This is a real weakness in your plot, or your character.

As to forgiving and forgetting, why not? She's beautiful, a good cook, a decent fuck, and she might actually stay clean for a while. So what else has he got going on for himself besides her rehabilitation project? But they are both fucked, and it won't last. He needs a woman he can just ignore and who will stay the course because that is who she is. But Anna needs someone who can support her mentally and emotionally, who can give her strength to face her demons, and that is not this guy. She will wake up one day and figure out that she succeeded. She will have restored the same guy who was not there for her when she needed him during their first marriage, and she will revert to the same needy insecure female who sought solace in drugs. And she will seek that solace again. She will be in the midst of some internal crisis, she will bump into Brock out on parole, he will get her "something" to ease her stress, and she will slowly slip back into the drug addiction, then prostitution. Brock beat her husband because he loved her and knew that her husband was not man enough for her. But she loved him. So Brock sought to eliminate her husband and take her for himself. He will of course return to finish his dream. If this wimp does not grow a pair, and purchase a gun, he will one day be found dead in an alley. Brock will of course attend the funeral, and return to offer her sympathy and comfort, and drugs. Some things, ugly things, are inevitable.

Interesting speculative continuation from anony above . . .

As to the main story . . . I great stuff!! And I would have been fine if it had been even slower . . . with no sex . . . some minor change, but mostly he remains ambivalent throughout. (Slight alternative your writing brought to my imagination - ) One is unsure if recovery is possible, until towards the end, where after months of only marginal conversation or contact - none initiated by him - she joins him on the deck - and tells him it's okay if he stays as he is. If she's allowed to, she'll do whatever she can, for the rest of her life, to make his life easier. They're quiet for a while staring at the sky. At this point he actually initiates something - continuing as you wrote - "It's a dog." Staring at the same point in the clear sky as he was, she says she thinks it's a sheep. Then, after about 5 minutes, he (who has not initiated any physical contact with anyone since waking up in the hospital) while continuing to stare at the same point in the sky, reaches out, slowly, and takes her hand.

Masterful job on a touchy topic. I also appreciated the restraint. No side trips to eviscerate Brock for example. Real people can screw their lives over masterfully and can on rare occasions find a way to fix them Stronger in the broken places hopefully.

too many here are focused in the wrong thing... How the idiot dumb fuck husband could NOT know that she was

A whore

B a liar

C a cheat

D a druggie

Ok that is a tall order... But what kills this story is how stuid dumb as shit author kills his own well crafted story.

The author does a great job of setting up this guy's pain and agony. .. His totally shattered world.... The collapse of his spirit.

Then the cunt shows up and 1 fucking rainstorm later they are back together and talking about kids!? REALLY?

IF you are going to bring this guy back to life.... Could he aask hid lying cunt whore druggie wife at least ask 1 question?

Thanks again for the nice feedback. And to top things off - even Harry in VA is annoyed. It seems I´ve unintenionally done everything right.

regards

"stuid dumb as shit author" :D

This was really well done. Five stars. Far from boring.

Ralf's emergence from catatonia, a sort of PTSD, was well-done.

When I read stories like this I wonder where the emotional inspiration comes from. Well, I wonder about that with every story I read. What is it about a person that makes a story 'work' as a fantasy?

Some people are fans of BTB stories. Why? What has happened to them such that they get satisfaction from stories of pain and revenge? I wonder a lot about that.

And here, in this story that is far from BTB, I see a possible clue. It is when Anna says "Just to let you know, I would have tried for years. There would have been no time limit. I really have dedicated my life to you."

I wonder .. whether the people who have so much pain and who want so much revenge for having their dream broken .. whether they have been carrying around an impossible fantasy inside. They want 100% devotion and dedication, a woman who makes them a God. That's a lot to live up to, someone's fantasy .. and when it backfires, then they have a new fantasy to live with.

At least, in this story, Ralf gets his old fantasy back, rather than being saddled with a new one.

You have mentioned some interesting points there.

First - where does the inspiration comes from? I have no idea. These ideas come to me usually during the early morning hours, when I´m about to wake up. I´m far from having experienced those things. In the morning, I sometimes note these ideas. This has resulted in more than 80 story drafts, most of which are totally useless. Nonetheless, I need to write them down.

I personally think that the endings are generally the weak point of my stories. These are not part of the ideas that suddenly enter my mind. I have to "invent" the endings and it is mostly just a chore for me. And as I´m in a happy, long-term "fairy-tale" marriage, I hate to see (or read) loving people splitting up. Thus my preference for happy endings. Even if some other readers (who might have had less positive experiences in their relationships) might not regard them as happy.

And there is one thing that seems important to me about this story. Anna offers Ralf be be some kind of subservient slave. But that is just her view, reasulting from her perceived guilt. Ralf is not particularly interested in this or in her guilt,

Maybe better off posted in Non-erotic? Well written except the names. For some reason I found the odd names to be a distraction. Of course I haven't looked at your "Bio" so perhaps you're from a country that isn't the good ole US of A and everyone isn't named Bubba or Peggy Sue. Your main character seems to be suffering some extreme mental issues. Like men face when they return from war. The fact that he doesn't get more help was disturbing. So it seemed implausible that he would not go off the deep end or around the bend when his ex-wife shows up. Some more detail about the divorce might have been interesting. And the end felt unfinished. But I don't want to encourage you to write more chapters. While the writing was technically good, the delivery was dry at best, boring at worst. Maybe next time.

If she had as many dicks sticking out of her as have been stuck in her, she'd look like a porcupine... Yeah, perfect long term relationship material. And the blatant cheating, and the beating. Let's not forget all that fun.

I just got hit by a top notch story. Usually I rail against what is perceived as WACC stories. But his one was coming from such an obtuse angle it was totally cool

but nicely written.

No just no!

Bonnie Taylor is a nasty skank assed cow of a whore! Just try and read her repulsive shit without barfing! PUKE!!!

Ralf was going down too soon and was redeemed from his hell by the only person who could. A deep story, Thanks.5

Whether one agrees with the plot or not; the conception and dynamics of it are definitely creative and different.

Really enjoyed this, it flowed beautifully and had me in its grasp the entire time. Gave it a 4, prob shoulda been a 5. The hole everyone discusses is not really-long term drug use before discovery is possible-i hav witnessed it with my own eyes!

the last post i made was at 3am... Sorry about the typos. But so far ALL of your stories are EXACTLY the same... the wife does somethun so shockingly out of blue bad that the husband is just leveled with searing emotionsl pain.

You show THAT very well.

REALLY....

but in EVERY story you have written you have the worst endings. No matter what the wife has done... In every story the husband takes her back.

hooks with another man and humilates the husband to be publicly then fucks the other guy then flys to paris with the other guy? sure thing not a big deal right?

in this story the husband is almost beaten to death by crack whore wife's pimp yet it doesnt matter. She shows up at his place of isolation on the beach for 2 rainstorms.... Smiles at him.... Suddenly the husband who claims to be emotionally crushed is 100% "normal" the next day.

Asking why ALLLLL of your husbands in your stories are so weak and pathetic does not i mean i think the wife should be dead

@stev2244

Perhaps you have tapped into something interesting about the BTB psychology. What you say about the Anna/Ralf dynamic is true, for your own story. But when you look at the situation as a template, and then think about the different ways in which it can be resolved, then you learn something about both the template AND about what makes the different possible outcomes work for different people.

What's the template? Basically, a man who has been betrayed to the point where he is practically dysfunctional. In the real world, who would invest in such a man? In the real world, he is a high risk proposition and few, in any, women would risk making an investment in him. How does the typical BTB story resolve the issue? There is yet another devoted woman in the background, waiting. Or, worse, the damaged man just happens to find yet another perfect women who magically gives him his happy ending. This happy ending is, for the emotion of the story, intended as 'revenge' against the cheating whore wife blabla. So, the ending is precisely the sort of fantasy bubble that the reader wants to see salvaged.

There are other details to the standard BTB fantasy .. for example that any behavior other than revenge is a sign of weakness, probably says something about a distorted self-image of manhood .. but your story doesn't get into that except as a counter-example of how people can behave with different values. Which, in turn, raises another interesting question. Might this distorted image of manhood actually be preventing someone from the healing process?

What happens in your story? The problem of who would invest in damaged goods like Ralf is solved by having someone there who is also damaged goods. Anna is trying to help herself as much as she is him. So it is a symbiotic setup.

One other point about realism in these types of stories .. for example, whether it was realistic for Ralf to be beat up the way he was by the pimp. The task here is: how to dramatize the emotional pain? I think the dramatizations in BTB-type stories are inherently unrealistic because the emotional pain being felt is itself built on a fantasy.

@Harry: I don´t perceive forgiving someone as weakness or unmanly. Maybe that´s the main difference between us. I think it is easier to just walk away, but it´s not stronger.

@ISKwest: Exactly, you´ve hit the nail on the head.

I suspect that quite a few readers have had bad experiences in their relationships. They either got raped in divorces or felt defeated by females in other ways. I understand that these men feel the need for revenge, even if it is fictional. But that´s not my thing, I´ve never been betrayed by a woman, I have no issues with them. I´m romantic enough to think that two people that love each other have something unique. What I want to describe is how they overcome even the most horrible situations, including stupidity. And I don´t feel obliged to add another BTB story to the large amount of good stories that´s already available.

The thing is - I´m the author. I´ve invested the time and effort. And I feel free to write the endings I like. If the ratings or the feedback get to bad, I might stop submitting, but I wouldn´t stop writing. I do that for my own pleasure. So far, the feedback is good enough for me. I´ve especially enjoyed the comments on this story. Very thoughtful ones among them, which is quite a nice reward for me.

My only negative thought was "How did his friends or even Society" leave such a

clearly deranged person walking around?". The ṕath chosen was pure fantasy but wonderful.

who ever convinced you to write this story..... you give that person a kiss on the mouth, i tells ya, a kiss, a big wet one..... from me(pls)

was it boring?.... hell No.

did i relate to the story....mos definitely,

& steve never stop writing what you like, never write because the readers comment a certain way. opinions are like assholes, & every asshole has one, specially myself.

also if any body is really experiencing chronic apathy (emotional numbness), i would like to suggest 2 things, try gradually to include natural foods containing SELENIUM, it will help keep the body healthy too & to adopt a puppy, or any activity where you need to give care, bonsai, aquarium, or even a cat, whatever floats your boat.

First, I don't know how they could have gone months(?), years(?) without ANY gatherings with her work colleagues.

Second, I don't see how she could have hidden both her drug use and prostitution for such an extended period so completely.

Finally, taking her back is just out of the question! Just her lies alone makes her untrustworthy as a partner.

You write so well; the prose and dialogue always tinged with humour but you also impart emotion into the characters.

Well done! Keep on writing

I love the story about a guy that cut off his wifes clit and her lovers dick and balls. That's what I would do...

that initially looked like it was going nowhere.

@stev2244 - you are violating your good intention to not post on your own story. You might rethink that.

@Our BTB buddies... you see a reconciliation. I don't. Their relationship is nothing like you have seen before - it is not a marriage, it is not a boyfriend/girlfriend thing, it is based in the damage that they both suffered. As imagined it is intriguing, but not something to pigeonhole. And... it may not have a future.

So - our author has done a credible job in portraying a mental state that is way outside the norm - Good job! Amazing that you managed to carry off a first person narrative of this kind.

But... there are no heroes, and not a lot of real villains here... just hurt people. I kinda like that about it.

Green-something

(yes, I'd read more posts like this one... but I wouldn't want the author to make a habit of it, if you can sort out the difference)

A great story. The human condition well observed. More like that, please.

Really nice story. I dont know why thi story have little rating,while some others from really bad writers have 4.50 or more.

Going to read your other stories and I wish you write more.

I wonder.....as a psychologist I am aware that the danger zone for committing suicide is not when going into a depression but when coming out of one. (It's only then that the person has the energy to spare, and the brief contact with the reality of their situation, to be able to formalize and act on a plan to end their life)

I rather suspect that in real life the poor man in this story would kill himself shortly after this point in the story. This doesn't detract or add to the story, just an observation of what could happen if this was a real life situation. The mind can be a strange thing. Disconnecting as the man did insulates one from the pain and suffering of a situation, losing that insulation can cause all the accumulated agony to crash down in an overwhelming wave in a sudden instant. The broken man would have almost no hope of being able to deal with this. For me this makes the story more poignant in that it makes what the wife did to the poor man even worse. She destroyed his life, and by reentering it she will not put it back together but probably be the catalyst for him ending his own life by way of suicide. Cheating can have deviating results for the cheated on spouse, and the others involved, family and friends, but stories about such devastation seldom touch on how many times this devastation leads to suicide. I know that this story, in and of itself doesn't depict this, it's only my personal knowledge that allows me to take it further to what could happen. But knowing that, for me, only makes this story a more powerful one. A story about how a woman thoughtlessly totally destroys a man's life and causes his death.

People are different. Rarely do two people feel the same on every aspect of life. I may accept a character flaw in someone I love that most people would not. And someone else may tolerate an indiscretion by their loved one that I would not. For me, to find out my wife is a hooker, whore, or prostitute is the line that once crossed, there is no return, zero tolerance, no chance of reconciliation. Also, under Anna's command her husband Ralf was beaten almost to death. Been there, done that. By my ex-wife's gleeful command, her lover beat me to within an inch of my life. Everyone says I should forgive her...for my sake, not hers. Not happening. I can live with the anger and rage that burns within me. It is that rage that let's me know I am still alive. And in the meantime, I spend my spare time working out a suitable revenge. It may never happen but it gives my life a purpose. And thinking of that revenge makes me smile. It is as close to happy as I have felt in years. Ralf took Anna back. I never would have.

I loved it. Can't think of any words to explain the feeling, I just loved it.

Thanks for that effort.

Anna trying to heal Ralf is just penance, though any other woman would be better for him, Ralf's actions show that she didn't heal him, but made him broken in a different way, or perhaps he's just that stupid, to take her back rather than finding someone new to be happy with.

AA born again spineless cucky she probaliy has aids any way

Very very well done.

What a tale.

The only thing I would have advised, would be to throw in something about the courtship period.

Was she a student while they dated and became an addict later?

If she was an addict first why did she marry?

If no reader has had someone close become a drug addict or alcoholic, they dont understand the story fully. It, changes the person.

They will steal, lie, cheat and do whatever is needed for the drug.

It is a cruel mental and physical disease.

Again, top notch work, please keep writing.

Go a pair!

Although it's light on any retribution to brock.

I'm curious to see if his condition has an actual medical diagnosis, I have seen and lived with depression but his condition doesn't seem to fit that. Brain damage perhaps, but that would have other side effects also.

Interesting story and thank you.

There will always be those who grouse that a story was not written the way they would want. I simply thank you for having the courage to put this out and sharing it.

the obvious women haters who infest these threads with their inane comments and continue to delight us with your wordcraft. I would, however, respectfully suggest an editor/proof reader more familiar with English idioms (UK not US). You do have a real talent and an excellent ability to paint descriptive pictures in very few words. I would love to read a work of yours which also has much greater length. Thank you for sharing your talent with us.

The story is well written however i have a few observations

First it seems impossible not to notice that she only worked at night,secondly the only drugs i can think of here are xanax(mixed with alcohol) or opiates like oxycontin or heroin and those are drugs you can not hide to be addicted to,you can see it in the eyes,the change in behaviour and a few other things ,you can not not notice the withdrawel unless she was high all the time wich i doubt,the story is ok but the details can't be right

I noticed many authors use drugs in theyr storys but only very few know what the reaction is and describe wrong reactions,i recently read a story where the wife mellowed down while on coke,please,you don't mellow down on coke,then the author told us that she was high the whole evening ,again please,the high of coke lasts 40 minutes at most if that long

Experimental style worked very nicely--the narrative arc, the narrative tone, the protagonist's affect, the events of the story all melded together beautifully.

From a glance a the comments below, it seems you pissed off at least one of the two main groups (BTB, RAAC). Well done. You get extra points for writing a great story that the great unwashed can't appreciate. Thanks.

Reconciliation is fine if you make the character worthy, but you make them so horrendously bad that getting back together is pure fantasy and just pathetic...... You can write well, but characters need to be worthy of rooting for at least partial humanity with these terrible women you create. No man with any self respect would ever touch any woman in any of your stories again, just too much to ask after the horrid shit you heep on these men....

A very well written story and the emotional roller coast ride for Ralph was excellent in its delivery.

For me the wifes character needed more depth and she did not really suffer at all from Ralph. Perhaps the wife should have set up a mistress for Ralph, given him a FFM were she is not one of the FF, she could have set up a dungeon play room, introduced hand cuffs, anal, BJ's all hours of the day and swallowed every time, in fact she should gargle the cum,..lol