All Comments on 'We Need to Talk, Darling'

Now that is how you take care of a cheating skank slut!

Wait some commenters are defending the wife? She had sex with two different men. Wtf?

Stupid twit. Not a reason for divorce unless it's being too naive.

Dialogue straight out of some risqué 70s sitcom only this wasn’t as funny, nudge nudge wink wink.

Phillip is a dumb asshole, can't expect much from a cuck who marries a bimbo for her tits!!

His response of going to the pub to get drunk was fucking pathetic!!

Very well done, if you Google average penis size it comes up with, pun intended, 5.5 inches long and 4.5 inches circumference, it then follows there's some guys bigger and some guys smaller, if a woman is looking for big cock she will need to try several guys to get one, unless she's lucky, as reflected in this amusing tale, well done.

All the stories in this series are great.

I give this story 4 stars . I am an Arsenal fan after all . Screw Man U

Good story, just missing the aftermath

It may be fiction, but it's still fun fiction. I do like stories where someone is "hoisted by their own petard" if that's how the expression goes.

Loved it. People think that the spouse’ are brain dead if they start a conversation like the one portrayed in the story; however they do happened more than you would think…

I enjoyed the read overall. The one problem I see with the writer is he mistakenly likes Arsenal. My gawd with Man U. Available…lol.

Five star and well worth it especially as the"wronged" guy won out!

Hugely entertaining little tale. I would have suggested that in real life nobody would be as stupid as Laura and then I remembered who we've elected to govern us every few years - and realised how many Lauras there are in the world..

LA

Now I know who your men remind me of: Andy Capp! Another well crafted tale about not-to-bright people, from the master of the genre.

In a world that seems to get worse every day

we can always turn to Britease to lighten our spirit and brighten our day.

Love some of the comments - IE; ‘Why? Why would he throw her out for doing the same as he done’

That persons as dumb as the wife, their is little in comparison except the sex. She embarrassed and humiliated him to her friends. While they exaggerated their spouse she made him seem like a little dicked useless lover. Pointless except for the love and consideration he showed her.

Then, without thought or discussion went off to have sex with someone else, belittling and disrespecting him before she went. Yes, he was effectively seduced by one of her friends but it wasn’t pre-planned and she had already left to cheat.

She even sounds like she met two of the other husbands. So of course he was right to throw her out, without trust, mutual respect and consideration a marriage cannot carry on.

You do create some simple minded wives for your tales.

Every one of the the author's stories is the same with a few details changed, but always the stupid wife and husband ends with a better option there available for him.

Too little; why isn’t there something that happened in the bedroom? Look at the site are ur writing for. Otherwise it was enjoyable. But what’s missing somewhat spoiled the story. I did love that his wife was kicked out of the house after being disappointed; served her right. Overall, can’t get passed what’s missing, so only 3 stars. — Bob

Bemusing indeed. What I find to be the greatest entertainment is Laura's reaction when she realises everything is wrong!

very entertaining,loved it

Welllll, If you're not near the one you love, then love the one you're near. Hope she finds what the "girls" told her about. LP

Nice one son, pity those gunners have run out of ammo. Look forward to more tales that are easy to read and come with a smile

LOL, great

Very funny, I have laughed a lot with this story. Thank you.

Short and very enjoyable.

Les

3 stars

- what is the difference between a TALL cock tale and a LONG cock tale?

- what is the difference between a coke can size cock and a pencil dick?

NOTHING

98% of the sexual act pleasure between two people happens in the brain

OR

A really strong, extra long tongue and a long enough finger to reach her vaginal 'G' spot.

Well a nicely crafted tale about how conniving women can be, and how helpless men are when we are thinking with the wrong head.

Actually ... quite bad ... the typical I need a retarded morinic wife to make this brain dead cuck story work .... but unfortunately it doesnt work out ... as always ...

Funny as heck. Thanks

Dude has a great sense of humor.

Funny as "all get out"! Damn women & their "girl talks"!

More to the truth than one can imagine.

Damn, what a shame...he gets this gorgeous sounding wife with the brains of a gnat.

Just stupid I guess? Is there any women or men in this world like this??

Meh.

Women talk guess what, so do men. always trying to convince the other's by trying to out do the other's...It's a game people play..."I'm better than you because...." or... "You wouldn't believe this but...." etc. etc. etc. Old Saying; " Those who can Brag without Lying... Let them Brag." any idea how silent the World would become?

What a laugh and written with a lot of humour. Laura was certainly one of the dullest knives in the draw!! This is really tongue in cheek! 5*s.

One of my favorites. Laura is really a dim bulb, isn't she?

Are women all perfect, are men? Hell no!!! For whatever eason their vigina has expended!!! Both sexes blame the other for short givings. I dare a man to tell a woman her pussy is too big for him!!! I simply told my old lady that I will have to find a woman with a tighter pussy. The bitch went spastic, he he he. I am blessed with a small penis, why do I say that? As I grow old I have less and less use for these conniving cunts!!!!! Dad told me actions speak so loud you can't hear what they say!!!!

Why would he divorce his wife for doing what he was doing?.

Even a less than bright woman should never believe another woman about someone else's size.

Gotta have a little humor on occasion to keep things easy. really good job.

How does he not know his wife of nigh 15years is not a gullible mindless idiot? He has to be just as clueless as she is not to have figured that out long ago. This was difficult to read as you can't even grasp at how mindless she is. Not a good story. No one to actually root for as the wife clearly has a learning disability.

Loved it, just loved it. Your short stories are such a hoot!

Loved it

Well done, good story and a not unsurprising result! Too many spouses undervalue their partners 'attributes' on both sides of the sexual divide. Large cocks are not unheard of but they are not always a panacea to sexual satisfaction. Like large tits, shaved pussies and 'bubble-butts' they are often responsible for arousal but seldom stand alone as components of good sex. The grass is always greener..... but the cock,tits and pussies are NOT always better! As to your unnecessary regrets about the ending I loved it... Everybody knows where it goes from here... p.s give Delia my address!!

Loved it get so damn tired of stories with LARGE dicks

Taken enough group showers sports USMC etc

Guys talk also especially when young

Saw one in marine corps not erect matched the one in Sears catalogue

He took unmercifully teasing for a while from all of us sorry to say me included

Guy in your life exactly right in talking about size

Thanks for sharing

A TRUE moron. That laura's picture should be in a dictionary right next to the definition of a moron!

I tell myself that no wife is that stupid, but then I'm sure there is someone out there who will prove me wrong. This story of betrayal put a smile on my face.

"A damp squid" is often used colloquially in conversation by the less well-educated. If this was in the narrative, then by all means criticise it, but in dialogue this was just further evidence of how thick Laura was.

Enjoyable nonsense which did make me chuckle.

Good little story. Women exaggerate too, don't they?

and the past is now the present, TK U MLJ LV NV

I'd expect all live squids to be a bit damp, if not outright wet. Did he excrete slime, have tentacles, or leave trails of suction cup marks? If not, then he definitely was not a damp squid.

A squib is essentially a small explosives device. A damp squib is probably not going to explode when the igniter is....ignited. Squib can be used stand alone to express the diminutiveness of something, since it's not a proper explosive like a full stick of TNT. A damp squib can be used for something that doesn't live up to expectations. So its used right, it's just wrong. Squib.Squib.Squib.Squib. Not squid.

I rated this story one star. I guess I wasn't in a humorous mood, I'd probably rate it three since it's fine, minus the squid part, and well, it's not particularly offensive for fantasy. I typically dislike anything Britease writes, but this is comparatively plausible for pre-existing end-stage marriage cancer.

There's a bit more to say when it comes to culpability, but I am not going to bother this time.

Because sir you are a husband character developed by one of the stupidest people that has ever lived in the United Kingdom

Silly indeed.

You kinda have to feel bad for Laura, 'cause dumb-as-hell chick who's been in a marriage for 15 years doesn't usually fare too well when said marriage dies, regardless how big their tits are or how long their legs looks.

The worst person of this tale, undoubtedly, is Anne - I seriously don't know why she went all of her way to destroyed her supposed best friend's marriage, but hey... I guess they will have more time together to find a way to cuckold her own husband.

Kinda of a bittersweet story, really - watching a couple break up over such silly things give me no joy whatsoever. Glad that Phillip bounce back so fast, though - he didn't deserve what happen to him, but he sure recovered quite beautifully.

................has not lost a step. Indeed, it may have gained a pace. Well done.

Thank you......

What a welcome relief to finally read a decent story; they're very much in short supply these days, what with all the cuck & really poorly written tales littering LW of late. Congrats.

4 ****

Typical Britease fun, puts a smile on ones face.

well done its about time theirs a story about a man and not a fag bitch

I've always enjoyed the "we have to talk" stories by this author. 5 stars

Fine story about the theories of relativity and reality.

Gullible and stupid, good to be rid of her.

Good fun!

If she wants to try a bigger cock, that's what dildos are for!

How in the hell can she know what kind of orgasms her friends have? Because they TOLD her, LOL! Besides, different people orgasm differently, if one isn't "screaming and thrashing about," doesn't mean her orgasm wasn't as good as someone who was!

Great finish! Five stars from me!

Should write a Follow-up where Delia goes and tells all to Her Friends. Much to Laura's Horror.

for it being you when the hero is a stud huh? Well done and of course I believe that he is you and the Delia is waiting for you right now.

Thanks for the story. I really like all but your cuckold stuff or maybe it's RAAC whatever.

Where the bullshit stops,nobody knows!

This was the first of this series that I read, and I think it's just about perfect! The conversation that starts it out is well crafted, and the rest of it simply flows. The only thing wrong with the writing is that you do it so much better than I do. Nice job!

Hans

I think this story would be better served to the female readers here.

This story this time I keep Laura, keep Delia to. Chat the rest of the woman's group up, and continue to reassure Laura that I will always love her. Tell her I don't want things to change between us, or between my new friends. I'll always love you.

Oh and I love your stories.

Peac e out my brother

cutest cock story I've ever read.

Thanks, Britease. Very humorous story with a lesson for all. Dan

Trust...but verify!

Big tits are nice...but common sense and decency are critical! Especially if the alternative can suck-start a Harley!

Very enjoyable! Thanks!

First. What a stupid woman. Enough said. The rest of the story as written was one of the funniest things I ever read. Some times I almost needed a dictionary to figure out the colorful metaphors. Is there a Queens English to American English translator somewhere?? LOL.

Can't say I like all your writing, but this story made my day. 5 stars.

but needed a bit more meat.

Said the judge as he granted the divorce decree.

HA Ha ha

That was pretty funny. Wish I could have seen the expression on the wife's face when he showed her the door. Bloody well done!

genuinely dry humour. Loved it!

Infuriatingly hilarious.

I loved this, my husband is called Phil (spurs fan) and when I read it too him he just said. careful what you wish for, shame the gooner got the girl.

Very funny and very good

@ Dear Fighting41 If you had read more revenge stories you would have known one of the the modern revenge weapons (not violance or murder) that the betrayed husband gathers evidence about the loverboy and he shows to the loverboy's wife. In the stories the wife of the loverboy takes the husband to cleaners and earns the children custody.........

Looks like Laura ended up with the "short" end of the stick after all.

Women as audacious and vindictive as Laura only exist as words strung together by literary artists; even if they are real, they are extremely rare oddities. These women shouldn't be vilified but ridiculed because they clearly lack a functioning brain.

@ Fithing41 That woman who does not divorce from her cheating bastard husband that is same wimp as the wimp husbands are.....................

So it's okay for the husband to cheat but when the wife does it it leads to divorce?

Please explain the logic beihind this

My congratulations on a very amusing Loving Wives tale. It helps that the wife concerned isn't exactly a full shilling. Your concern of the length of the story is unfounded. It ended where it should have ended any form of explanation, justification or continuation of the story would rob it of its humor and the mental image left at the end. Finishing as you did the reader could interpenetrate the conclusion as they imagined it to be,Thanks for sharing I thoroughly enjoyed your story,

Women could piss into the wind! Great read

A stupid cheating wife. Can you believe it? I guess no loud screaming orgasm for her.

Cunt

I enjoyed the light read. Thank you for a Five Star shortie!

I enjoyed reading this as it tapped out a rhythm on my funny bone.

and one walking who wasnt but wanted to. TK U MLJ LV NV

So that is what a loving wife does. Listen to her friends and then cheats on her husband. Well he got the better bargain.

About the Britt's - Well they invented the the language but the Americans corrected it and made it the language of the world without invading, raping, stealing and killing millions of people.

but your husband is a fucking dweeb and would never ever get dalia into his bed. His wife lays that shit on him and he goes to the pub ? wtf.

Its really sad what stupid stories get high votes on this page only because there is revenge somewhere in the story.

You truly are an amazing writer. How in heavens do you scale your adultresses personalities so well in American Dream she was a total looser and slut that I had no feelings for in this one same adultry and this one I feel pity for her. Lovely writing and wonderful charators even the Ugly ones LOL

BTW spelling from an iPhone doesn't count. huge fingers small buttons

Like to hear how his Wife took it. after she finds out her Friend Delia slept with her Guy and Bragged to her other Friends to find out they are trying for a Piece of her Ex.

....perhaps the most realistic. Still, I can't get past the way your characters speak and behave like they live in the 1800s.The brits I know are more guttural and to the point."Wha the fuck wench,you believe tha shit?" Just once will you write a character that is sure of himself. Until then, harry will be on you like another man's spunk on a cuck!

I enjoyed that - about time that someone got it back - in spades !!

And fun to read. Thanks.