Weak in the Knees Ch. 05

"And that's pretty normal. Gradual disability almost always leads to the person doing too much and then paying for it. You're in that particular stage of gradual disability, and that sucks. And everyone does have reason to be angry, but we can be compassionate too."

"Alright, I hear both of you," Zev acknowledged. "I'm sorry. I went too far, Zach. But we do need to figure out what to do about this."

Zach took in a shaky breath and let it out before he nodded his head. "Yeah, I've actually been thinking about that since I woke up, and I think we should bring Tyson out to take over as CEO instead."

Brinxton seemed to disapprove, but kept his peace because this was a family business and he had no right to offer his opinions. Diego seemed mostly concerned for Zach's welfare, but he also knew how important a decision this was for him. Diego rubbed his arm in support. Zayne and their dad mainly looked surprised, silently mulling that over for a moment as Zach started to fidget from the silence.

"You don't have to make any hasty decisions," Zev finally said.

"It's not really that hasty. There are areas of the job I can't do anymore, and the list of things I can't do will only get longer as time goes on. Tyson and I can discuss with you what it will look like, but so long as I stay on as lead architect until I..." Zach swallowed hard here, obviously having a hard time with this. "...until I can't sketch anymore, then I'm fine."

Zev looked at his eldest for a moment somberly before he nodded his head. "Alright, I'll ask Tyson to make the trip here and we can discuss how this will go. I love you, Zachariah. You're the first baby of mine I got to hold and got to see. I was only angry because I was terrified."

"I know, dad," Zach replied quietly, then he looked up at Diego, his eyes still wet with tears. "I really am sorry."

Diego wordlessly continued rubbing his arm in support. Zach put his own hand over Diego's. Zev didn't want to talk business when Zach still looked so pale so he bid them goodnight. Zach helped Diego get Nadya ready for bed, letting Diego do all of the lifting so he wouldn't run the risk of dropping her.

Zach knew they should talk about Diego's feelings in all of this too, but he didn't want to push him before he was ready to talk. When they snuggled up in bed that night, Zach safely within Diego's arms, Zach broke down from all of the stress and the uncertainty of what the future held with his health.

Diego decided that this was not a good time to talk about his feelings, especially with Zach still processing his own concerns with adjusting to his new circumstances. He held Zach until they both fell asleep. That night he dreamed about fighting a war he couldn't win with too-little support while carrying a baby on his back instead of his usual rucksack.. He jerked awake to find Zach sleeping soundly on the other side of the bed and contented noises coming from the baby monitor, letting him know that Nadya was awake but not in distress.

Neither were particularly well rested when they woke up the next day, as Diego had disturbed sleep and Zach was back to feeling out of it and dizzy. A nurse came later in the morning to set up an IV line that would stay in for the entire week. She showed Zach how to take care of it and got his first dose of steroids started before she said she would be back tomorrow and left. Zach dozed a little through the time it was dripping down the IV line but he was awake by the time it was done and Nadya was down for a nap.

Zayne had gone into the kitchen to make his own lunch so he brought some food out for Diego as he sat down on the couch before offering Zach some food. Zach shook his head and just took a bottle of water to drink.

When Zayne went down to his room to use the restroom, Zach looked over at Diego thoughtfully. "We should probably talk about yesterday."

"Are you ready for that conversation? I figured it could wait until you were more comfortable with your diagnosis," Diego said.

Zach frowned at that, looking up at the IV pole that was currently set up by the couch for him. "Getting comfortable with it will probably take some time. It feels like my body is betraying me, or I'm betraying everything I've worked for. I can't really tell, to be honest. That's a work in progress though. It doesn't mean I can't deal with the other side of it. It's not just about my emotions."

"Okay," Diego agreed, "What would you like to talk about?"

"Dad was very loud with his emotions, Zayne was gentler with his, but you haven't mentioned how you were feeling," Zach said. "You said you weren't okay but didn't want to talk, so..."

"I was terrified of losing you. I still am. Not just because of the paycheck, or that perfectly-veined dick either," Diego answered.

"As I said, you really like that tiny warrior princess," Zach replied with a hint of humor.

Diego smiled slightly, acknowledging the truth of that. "I do. The thought of never seeing any of you again is more devastating than the idea of never coming home from the front lines."

"Even if something happened to me, there's no way Zayne would just send you off without another thought," Zach pointed out. "Everyone has gotten really fond of you, and they know how important you are to Nadya."

"That's hardly a guaranteed thing," Diego said quietly, nearly in tears.

"You're right," Zach acknowledged, then chewed on his lip as he considered the problem. Of course, he had assumed that Diego cared more about Nadya than him, so the practical side of him wasn't surprised, but the non-practical side was a little hurt. "I'm more than happy to talk to Zayne about that and put it in the will that if I die, Zayne gets custody so long as you stay on with her and have access to her."

"It's not just Nadya, you simpleton!" Diego said, a little louder than he intended. "It's falling in love and then almost losing everything in a single minute. You, access to Nadya, the life I'm trying to build, all of it! I've never cared about where my life was going before I met you. Now I'm afraid I'll lose all of it."

Zach stared at Diego for a moment, a dumbfounded expression on his face. He couldn't help the smile that blossomed on his face after that, but then he realized maybe that wasn't appropriate for the conversation so he tried to hide it by biting on his lip. "I'm sorry. I never wanted to terrify you like that, and I'm sorry I did. I'm not going anywhere, though. I'm relatively okay, though not feeling great, and I won't do that again. I may not have a good idea of what my health looks like in the future, but whatever it is, I want my daughter and the man I fell in love with to be in it."

Diego nodded, tears still in his eyes. Zach put his hand on the back of Diego's neck and gently guided Diego to lay up against him so he could put his arms around him. "I promise, no more reckless decisions, okay?" Zach whispered to him.

Diego gave Zach the side-eye, not certain he actually believed this promise, but willing to accept it at face value. He straightened up his appearance, wiping his face and sitting up.

Zach caught the side-eye and said, "I said reckless. Not that I wouldn't make stupid decisions because I can't promise that."

Brinxton, who had walked through the door just as Zach started talking, chimed in, "You can say that again! He's the King of Stupid Decisions, Diego; present company excluded."

Zach pursed his lips together in faux annoyment. "See what I have to put up with in this house?"

"Well you are more than welcome to leave," Zayne joked as he wheeled back out. "That cutie and Diego can stay though."

"That cutie doesn't get to stay without me," Zach replied.

"That's not true," Diego said to Zayne with a smirk, "he just promised to make sure I get to see Nadya in the event of his untimely demise..."

"Oh, then we'll just push up his murder," Zayne responded cheerfully.

"You devious little sneaks," Zach cried.

Zayne just grinned at him, which led Zach to let out a huff and cross his arms before he remembered there was an IV in one and he hissed in pain.

"Dumbass," Diego said in a loving tone while fussing over Zach to the extent that Zach waved him off like he was a cloud of gnats.

Zayne gave a knowing smile to his husband, glad that his brother seemed happy in a relationship, especially because he thought Diego was good for Zach. They were all still talking when Nadya came crawling backwards down the stairs, still looking a little sleepy but smiling. Everyone stopped to stare at her in shock because she had been in her crib and no one had let her out.

"We have a jailbreak!" Zach cried as he picked her up. "You tiny acrobat!"

Everyone laughed and cooed over how silly and cute Nadya was. It was moments like this that Zach felt really lucky with his life. He would deal with the hard part later, but for now, he was happy to just be with the people he loved.