Weakling

Eventually her body collapsed limply onto mine and we stayed mated for a significant period of time before my cock finally started to go flaccid and popped out, sending a pulse up each of our spines.

Beth finally pushed her chest away from mine. "That was awesome, Ajax. I'll be it was your best fuck ever."

"God you're smug," I replied temporarily experiencing such euphoria that I wasn't feeling guilty -- or morally weak -- yet. There was no way that I was going to inflate her ego even more by telling her that physically it probably was my best fuck ever.

"I'd suck your cock and get you up for round two but I'm so drained physically, emotionally, and mentally another fuck as intense as that one might kill me," she snickered.

She dismounted, I put my boxers and shorts back on, never having removed my sweat-soaked shirt, Beth put on a top and shorts, no undergarments, and we walked out the door.

My mind was so awash in endorphins I really couldn't concentrate much. As got to our cars she gave me a quick kiss on the lips and said "Thanks for helping out today; you did a great job; almost as good as the fuck." Then she waited for me to open the driver's door to her Ferrari and waved as she took off.

It was only when I got home that I started to feel both guilty and weak. "How in the fuck could you be manipulated like that?" I asked myself dozens of times. When I walked into my house both Gloria and her mom started giggling. "What's so funny?" I asked.

"You look sweatier and more wiped out than I've ever seen you," Gloria quipped. "Those kids really wore you out, didn't they?"

"Them and then having to lug all of the equipment back and forth. I need a shower worse than at any other time in my life."

Gloria gave me a quick kiss and said then laughed "Owww -- gross," and then swatted me on the ass as I went to shower in the master bath.

In the shower my dick got hard just thinking about Beth; but then deflated when I realized what a weakling I was.

That night the succubus fucked me multiple times in my dreams -- so many times that I was almost as tired when I woke up as when I went to sleep.

***************

Unfortunately, the day of the Special Olympics was the start of my loss of self-image. I always considered myself as strong morally, mentally, and emotionally, as I was physically, but in less than a month it was clear that that wasn't true. Beth called on me about once a week. She'd call on my business line and say something like "Meet me at the guest house on my Dad's estate at noon." Then like a junkie looking for a fix I'd show up.

Sex with Beth became to me like heroin to an addict. The highs I received from fucking her were the utmost highs that I had ever experienced in life, not just in sex. While I had no love for her, like I did for Gloria, there was something about her complex makeup, and perfect hard body, that inspired me like never before. For example with no sex partner before had I ever gotten it up more than twice in a six-eight hour period. When I ended up in her hotel room at a conference in Atlanta with Beth I fucked her five times in an eight hour period, and ate her pussy to orgasm a half dozen other times. She had me wrapped around her little finger and I didn't even seem to care, even though I almost constantly loathed myself and felt guilty.

Gloria delivered an eight pound six ounce twenty inch little boy, who we named Kyle, almost exactly on her due date. I instantly fell in love with the little guy. I used that as an excuse to try to break things off with Beth. It backfired. When I didn't return her communications Beth came to my office one day at noon, locked the door, and then "made me" fuck her on my desk. I couldn't afford to lose my job if Jake caught us, or another employee heard us, so I went back to showing up for her booty calls whenever she made them.

It was also very uncomfortable when Beth -- with Jake in tow although he obviously didn't want to be there -- delivered the fanciest (it had to have cost $3,000) baby carriage I had ever seen to our house about a week after Kyle was born. Gloria's mom couldn't believe it until after Beth left I informed her that Beth's dad was a billionaire.

Fortunately, Gloria's libido returned about nine weeks after she delivered Kyle and we made love often once it did. No pure recreational fucking like with Beth -- actual lovemaking. However, I wasn't one of those guys who thinks that I could justify cheating by making a distinction between love making and fucking. I was cheating -- I was just too weak to stop.

***********

You would think that things could not have gotten weirder. They did.

About two months after Kyle was born I was getting dressed after another lunchtime fuck fest with Beth, where she had five orgasms and me three in just ninety minutes. Still in all of her naked glory she snickered "You're going to be a daddy."

I was puzzled. "I'm already a daddy, you met Kyle."

"No I mean you're going to be a daddy again. Yesterday I found out that I am six weeks pregnant," she smiled.

"You...uh...didn't...uh...tell me you stopped birth control," I stammered.

"You didn't ask," she chuckled.

"How do you know that it's mine?"

"Because Jake is sterile; we went to a clinic together and picked out a donor. He thinks that I followed up and got impregnated artificially, but I just paid off the clinic doctors. I wanted a baby conceived the old-fashioned way," see replied with a diabolical grin.

"But what if it looks like me?" I choked out.

"You are so unobservant, Ajax, I sometimes wonder how you stumble through life. Except for the fact that you have a bigger dick and testicles and are in shape, you look a lot like Jake if he didn't have a paunch and glasses. You're six three with light brown hair, blue eyes, and a relatively small Roman nose and attached ear lobes. Except that Jake's hair is somewhat lighter and his Roman nose slightly larger, and he's six feet one and 1/2 inches tall, you have all of the same basic characteristics. Although his face was blurred, so does the sperm donor guy that I didn't use."

When I collapsed on a chair in the room and held my face in my hands I did try to think -- and I guess without the glasses and gut Jake did look quite a bit like me. I was still floored. "I didn't know that you wanted a kid," I groaned.

"Sure do and I know that your kid is going to be beautiful. Even though Jake may be slightly smarter than you are -- and much more observant," she cackled, "you're better breeding stock. You should be thrilled."

I was anything but thrilled. Still naked Beth came up to me, smashed my head into her pussy and said "Mama will take good care of you -- and no one will ever know. Plus, you've made me very, very happy -- and that makes you happy, doesn't it?" she said with a mile wide grin.

I stood up, kissed her, and said "Yes, you being happy makes me happy; but it's going to take me some time to get used to this."

She kissed me again and then pushed me out the door.

When I started to think about it, I realized that Beth didn't want anything from me -- except my cock, tongue, and sperm -- so I shouldn't be concerned. Then I looked on the bright side. "If her libido tanks like Gloria's did I'll finally be able to gain some self-worth back."

****************

When I look back at it I think that it's almost laughable that I believed that Beth would react the same way as Gloria when she was pregnant. Beth was one of about 10% of women who experience a significantly increased sex drive during pregnancy. If I could get away she would have fucked me every day of the week. As it was I had to fuck her three days a week just to keep her away from the office and my house, and she was even more energetic than before -- if that's possible -- during sex until her third trimester. In her third trimester the desire was still there, but her energy level decreased significantly, giving me somewhat of a break.

During the time that Beth was pregnant I had to consult an expert regarding diet, exercise, sleep, and other activities, in order to optimize my sexual readiness because having sex with Beth three days a week, two different ejaculations from me each time and eating her pussy through five or six orgasms each time, was combined with making love to Gloria four days a week, fortunately only one ejaculation each time. Without changes in my activities I would have been unable to do anything else.

During this time things with Gloria and Kyle were great, and I was making lots of money. However, I could not sustain the hit on my self-worth, and the pervasive guilt, that my affair with Beth was causing. Therefore I talked Gloria into making a change. I got an equivalent job in Nashville. Although it wouldn't pay quite as much, I had made and saved enough money working through Gravitas that it was no issue, and in fact Gloria could stop working outside the home if she wanted to.

I was able to talk Gloria into moving since she had relatives in Nashville and it was closer to where her mom and dad lived than Cary. I wanted to time our exit for just after Beth gave birth.

Beth delivered a seven pound eight ounce 19 inch long little baby girl, who she and Jake named Lilly, almost exactly on her due date. Because of her condition I hadn't been able to have sex with her for three weeks, but I did still give her a massage twice a week, which she really loved. I had already advised Jake of our impending departure two weeks earlier, and we were set to move a week after Beth delivered Lilly.

I surreptitiously visited Beth and Lilly in the hospital the one night that they had to stay over. Lilly really was a cute baby -- my heartstrings tugged, but I knew that I could never be an important part of her life. Although wiped out, Beth was as proud and giggly as she could be. I didn't have the heart to tell her then that I was leaving town because she was excited when she told me that we could start fucking again in two months.

In private I did tell Beth the day before we left that we were moving. She first got pissed, then hurt, and finally she dissolved into my arms and cried. She gave me a passionate kiss goodbye and said "At least I'll always have Lilly to remember you by."

************

Life in Nashville was good. Since I didn't have a succubus leading me astray, my self-worth started to recover, and my guilt lessened. My life got even better when Gloria delivered another little boy, Alex, about a year after we arrived in Nashville. We considered our family complete then.

Beth sent me emails with photos of Lilly about every month, but made no attempt to see me, and gave no indication of our past relationship in any of her emails. That is she made no attempt to contact me until she ambushed me at a conference for financial planners in Austin, Texas when Alex was about three months old.

I had gone to the conference not just at the urging of my employer, but also because I was to meet a potential new client there. The conference was to be four days and three nights long.

My potential new client, Pat Ramsey, was to meet me at my room the first night of the conference and we would go to dinner together. From the communications exchanged while making arrangements for the meeting I was convinced that Pat was a man. Imagine my surprise when I opened my door at 7:03 p. m. the first night of the conference and Beth was standing there.

With a big grin on her face Beth pushed past me into my room. "I'll bet that you're glad to see me, Ajax," she said as she got on her tippy toes and gave me a kiss on the lips.

"Beth...uh...I don't know what you're doing here...uh...but...I have a potential client coming any minute."

"Oh you mean Pat Ramsey?" she chuckled. "While he exists it was me making the arrangements, doofus. You always have been naïve when it comes to dealing with me."

I was shocked -- well, I guess not really because with Beth nothing she did was surprising.

"Why did you pull the Pat Ramsey stunt?"

"Don't get your panties in a bunch. Pat Ramsey is a friend of my father's and he really is going to give you his business so that you'll come back from the conference not only with more knowledge but with a feather in your cap. Now, don't you want to know why I'm here?"

Unfortunately, after quickly thinking about it, I did know why she was there. I sighed. I really wanted to deny her, but knew that I was probably too weak to do so especially since -- well, she really did look hot. "You probably want another kid," I sighed.

"Wow, you really are catching on, Ajax. I'm in my most fertile period these next three nights and considering how quickly you impregnated me last time this should be duck soup," she cackled.

Five minutes later Beth was writhing in orgasm as I ferociously sucked her distended clit; five minutes after that my cock was buried deep in her pussy and she was pulsating her pc muscles trying to coax as much seminal fluid as possible out of it; and only another five minutes after that she was screaming into a pillow while I ejaculated what seemed like a pint of man cream into her palpitating pussy.

The three nights of the conference I couldn't count how many orgasms Beth had counting my digit and oral stimulation of her pussy, but I do know that I made nine sperm deposits in her bank. Each time I did I went through a period of euphoria unmatched by anything else in my life, followed by both guilt and disgust at how weak I was.

I did get Pat Ramsey as a new client with a $3,000,000 portfolio. He transferred his funds to my money management firm without ever actually meeting me (although I did talk to him on the phone). Also almost exactly nine months after the Austin conference Beth sent me a photo of her and Lucy, her new little girl, in the hospital.

"Strange," I thought to myself, "two boys with Gloria, two girls with Beth. What are the odds?"

**************

I loved being a father. Strangely, however, once the boys each got to be about eight or nine although Gloria still obviously loved them she didn't really participate much in their lives. I, on the other hand, coached their baseball and basketball teams, took them to tennis lessons, went to every teacher meeting or open house, and was intimately involved in everything that they did. Gloria went back to work and seemed satisfied with seeing the kids at breakfast and dinner, helping with homework on occasion, and going on outings if the entire family went. Gloria's parents did visit often and seemed more engaged in Kyle and Alex's lives than Gloria usually was.

When Kyle was 19 and in his first year of college at Northwestern, and Alex was 16 and a junior in High School, Gloria told me that she really needed to talk to me on Saturday night instead of going out to dinner and a movie, while Alex was at a party. She didn't beat around the bush.

"Ajax; I want you to know that I've always loved you and the boys, but I'm tired of being a wife and mother. I'm moving to the West Coast to pursue my dream of being an artist and I think that I need a clean break from my previous life. I'll have the divorce papers served next week, and will move next Saturday."

The Brits have a word that is close to my reaction -- gobsmacked -- however, even that didn't describe the surprise, sense of loss, and dread that her words occasioned. Naïve me, I had no clue. Even afterward when I thought long and hard about it I came up with no hints of a warning; well there was her interest in art over the last two years or so, and decreased desire for sex the last year, but I considered those normal things since she was going through menopause.

I had a long conversation with Gloria that night. Nothing I said, no argument that I made, no questioning about details, was in any way productive. She had made up her mind and an important part of my life over the last twenty five years was evaporating. I wondered what effect it would have on Kyle and Alex. I looked on it as karma -- punishing me for my weakness in not resisting my affair with Beth.

The divorce was amicable. After providing for funds to insure that all expenses for Kyle and Alex through graduate school would be provided for we split all liquid assets 60-40 in my favor and I kept the house; no alimony or child support since by that time we were wealthy (not nearly as wealthy as Beth, but all basic needs taken care of for the rest of our lives).

Being away at Northwestern Kyle was not as screwed up as a result of Gloria's departure as Alex and I were, but we all felt a significant loss. In fact it took two years, and an occurrence that was almost as bizarre as Gloria's leaving, to snap us out of our malaise.

*************

Almost exactly two years after Gloria took off, when Kyle was 21 year olds at the start of the summer before his senior at Northwestern, and Alex was starting the summer before his first year at Duke, both with summer jobs working for me, I got a call from the 984 area code, no caller ID. Since that was an odd area code for a solicitation I picked up. "Hello, Ajax West."

"Hi Ajax, know who this is?" came the sweet sexy melodious voice of Beth Reynolds.

"Hi, Beth; long time no hear."

"And I bet that's just how you wanted it because you were always guilty and felt like a weakling around me," she cackled.

How in the hell she knew that, I don't really know; but then again she was about the most observant person I'd ever met. "No, believe it or not I've actually thought about you fondly the last two years."

"Is that because Gloria left?"

"How did you know that?" I asked, a little surprised.

"Because I'm rich and curious," she cackled. "So, let me tell you the reason for my call."

It didn't surprise me that Beth wanted to get right to the point since she's always been like that. "OoooK," I hesitantly replied.

"You probably haven't been clued into my life," that was true, "but Jake died about a month after Gloria moved out West. He never really took care of himself, so it wasn't surprising that he had a fatal heart attack."

"I'm sorry to hear that, I always liked him," I honestly replied.

"I know, I liked him too," she replied. After a sigh she continued "Anyway, as you probably do know Lilly is now 20 and Lucy 17 and they have always been curious about their biological father. Well one night, recently, Lilly -- who probably will be a prosecutor she can be so intense and rapid-fires questions even more quickly than I used to -- tricked me into revealing that I did not actually use a sperm bank, as Jake and I had always told the girls once they got into their teens. Anyway, they both want to meet you -- sigh -- as do my mother and father who although both ae now 80 years old are still very spry and with it intellectually."

Suddenly a wave of some emotion came over me. I don't think that it was actually nostalgia, but maybe it was. Anyway I almost cried. While I can't say that I thought about the two girls that I fathered on a regular basis, I did under many special circumstances. I must have either been completely silent for a long time, or been making strange noises because I heard Beth say "Ajax, are you there -- is something wrong?"

I took a deep breath then replied "Yes I'm here, and no nothing is wrong. I would love to meet them. What do you have in mind?"

"Why don't you come to Cary this Sunday; we'll hang around here a day or two and then go to our beach house on Wrightsville Beach for four or five days."

"Sounds like a plan," I said. "Can you pick me up at the Raleigh-Durham airport Sunday?"

"Sure can, sugar," Beth replied.

We talked for another fifteen or twenty minutes and then terminated the call.

I thought long and hard about what I should tell Kyle and Alex. I finally decided to give them a teaser, so the next day at work I told them "Guys; I'm going to assign you two weeks work today since I have to make a trip Sundayto Saturday. There is a part of my life that you know nothing about; on my trip I have to determine the extent to which I can reveal it to you but I will reveal something when I get back. Can you hold in your curiosity until a week from Saturday?"