Wedding Psychosis

"How much do your paralegals make? Benefits?"

"If I promise to make you whole, or better, would you do it?"

"Done. I'll head back to the office and start burning them at the stake. Other than contact information, what more do you need?"

I took notes and agreed to meet Dario for drinks after the dastardly deed was done. I cleaned my desk out, just in case.

+ + + +

While having drinks, Dario offered up another devious little plot.

"You said you could tell that they had just had sex. Tell me more."

I explained the flushed looks and them finishing dressing.

"Well let's say that they were still somewhat naked when they invited you in to do the petitions. Boobs still showing, pants not on yet. Does that sound like a hostile work environment to you? It would be their word against yours, but with the shit storm surrounding them, I think your word might prevail."

"And I'd do that why?"

"John Blyndham would want to protect his pride and joy. Having his law firm dragged through the muck would be something he might want to prevent by buying you off. You might even be able to get a good letter of recommendation out of it."

"Now that you mention it Dario, what I witnessed was very traumatic."

"If you like, I would be happy to represent you."

"Tell me why you're so gung-ho to do this. Didn't you leave on good terms?"

"Not even close. They tried to set me up and I even had to go before the review board. Thankfully I had all of the paperwork I needed. My license remains intact and I might be able to extract a little revenge of my own."

+ + + +

On Monday, I intercepted the confirmation from the courts. I texted the case numbers to Dario. On my break I called him and found out he was going to a joint meeting with the spouses at dinner tonight. He invited me to join them, and to bring my notary public briefcase.

Dario talked quickly "I talked with the spouses earlier today. Both are shell shocked. Mrs. Traditore is in denial but once she sees the paperwork, I almost expect her to go nuclear. Mr. Charmers said he suspected something was going on. I think he'll sign the response immediately and we can submit the acceptance back to the court. Jillian is toast. My process server pulled the court documents for both spouses and he's also going to be at the dinner gathering."

Thankfully I had little interaction with either Enrico or Jillian on Monday.

At the restaurant, I spotted Dario and introduced myself to Coco and Carter.

"Let's get started. Carter, Coco, stop us any time if you aren't following what we are saying. Heather, can you tell us about the office affair."

I may have embellished it a bit, but not by much. Coco's eyes were misty. Carter had a very stern look.

"So that's what's been going on in the office. Now let me tell you what they did last Friday."

I went into great detail about the petition for divorce, and how they thought it was a big joke. I lied and said that once it was in the Blyndham and Robbem system it was filed automatically and how it was now in the legal jungle. Dario took over.

"Your choices, at this point, is to let them file a motion to dismiss the petition for divorce, or, accept the petition and then the courts would require a hearing to dismiss it. If you choose to go with the latter, I'll have my process server take the formal step of having you served."

Carter jumped in "Serve me. I won't stay married to a cheating slut. I paid for her fucking law degree and this is how she repays me."

Coco was less enthusiastic "What if this was just a one-time mistake?"

"Heather, explain WHY they did the divorce paperwork."

I felt horrible watching the two spouses digest the wedding and honeymoon scenario. Nobody talked when I finished.

Coco came around "This is not a one-time mistake. Serve me too."

Dario instructed them "I'd like you to think about how you treat your spouse. I have some hopes that these cases could be rushed to the front of the queue and we might get the divorce approved early next week. For that to work, your spouses would have to be no-shows at the hearing next week. I'd be willing to represent each of you, at a much discounted rate. Tonight, try to avoid them and don't expose what we are doing. When, and if, they call from Las Vegas, keep the calls short as there's less of a chance that you'd slip up. Take a trip or something next weekend so you're not around when they get back. Do you think you can do that?"

Both nodded yes. The process server did his legal two step. As the aggrieved read through the conditions, I saw smiles cross their faces.

"As you can see, they never thought these would see the light of day. You get just about everything."

Carter pulled a pen from his pocket "Where do I sign to accept her offer?"

Dario led him through the document, and I notarized his signature. Coco was eager to sign as well.

"Okay, I'll have these filed with the court tomorrow. No slip-ups, be cold as ice tonight. You both look like you have a terrible headache."

"Yeah, I do. Thanks Dario. Thanks Heather" from Coco.

"What she said" from Carter.

After hugs and handshakes, Dario and I were left to enjoy dinner.

"Dario, it takes a lot longer than a week for a divorce. Isn't there some kind of legal timeframe involved?"

"Not in this state. There's no legal requirement for a waiting period. It takes that long because of the backlog of cases. As soon as you can get it in front of a judge is what determines how long it takes. I don't know if I ever mentioned it, but my father is a judge on the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit. He thinks he can find a judge who would take the case immediately and grant the petition."

"So the court will respond with a hearing date and time and then they have forty eight hours to request a re-schedule?"

"You got it. They'll be in Vegas and don't those usually come to the paralegal anyway?"

"At B and R they do" I said smiling. They'll never know they missed the hearing.

+ + + +

I worked on the hostile environment lawsuit while waiting in the airport and during the flight. When I landed, I was greeted with a text message from Dario.

'Got an update for you. Call when convenient.'

I stored my luggage at the hotel then headed to my first conference. At the break I tried Dario but it went to messages.

'Dario, this is Heather. My day ends around 4 pm. Excited to talk to you again.'

At 4:10 pm Dario called.

"Hey Heather, how'd day one go?"

"Alright. I'm a little distracted by what we're doing."

"Me too. The divorce cases are set to be heard next Monday at 9 am."

"I shouldn't delight in another's misery, but damn this feels good. I worked on the hostile work environment case. I'll email you what I have so far."

"Great, can you do dinner tonight?"

"Well, I was thinking of attending the big wedding. If I can get my hands on that marriage certificate, it might get filed with Clark County."

"Oh gawd that would be awesome. Bigamists. Care if I join you? We should hire someone to follow them around and video everything they do tonight."

"Brilliant, why didn't I think of that? Got any ideas?"

"Not really. You start searching and I'll do the same. Call me back in ten minutes."

I spent the next few minutes making calls to find an available freelance photographer. Without any success I called Dario back.

"Any luck? I struck out."

"Just got a text back. Let me call you back after I talk with them."

A few short minutes later we had our photographer. After arriving at the wedding chapel I found Jillian and Enrico and offered my services. I noticed Dario arriving and then meeting with a camera laden woman, Erin.

Dario said Erin knew of a private investigator, Thad, and he was busy planting bugs in their wedding suite.

+ + + +

The wedding was outlandish. They had pulled out all the stops and Jillian really did look like she was giddy living her dream. Her fatal dream. Erin not only followed them around, she convinced them that she should ride along in the limo and take photos. Little did they realize that she would also videotape them.

I did my part and, as the trusted paralegal, took possession of the signed marriage certificate. The Clark County courthouse was closed, but I would be there first thing in the morning. The lovebirds headed to their limo.

The newly married couple skipped the conferences for the next two days. They checked out Friday morning and did attend the last morning sessions. The conference broke up after the morning session and all headed to the airport.

Dario spent two nights in my suite. He is a very patient lover. He made sure I came several times each night. His fingers and tongues caused the first few but his cock fit quite snugly and was responsible for a few orgasms too.

I did my part. We started both nights with my oral talents. That gave him the staying power needed to bring my climaxes. Feeling cum in me was long overdue.

We both worried that working together was going to be strained. I will do all I can to make it work.

+ + + +

Dario and I reviewed the videos from Erin and Thad. The first was the ride back to the hotel immediately after the wedding.

As they pulled away "Enrico, I don't have any panties on under this gown. Anything come to mind?"

Enrico pulled his cock out and with a few strokes was hard enough for Jillian to climb aboard. He climaxed before they made it to their hotel.

Thad's video were equally damaging.

Once in the honeymoon suite, Enrico stripped and planted himself in the middle of the bed. Jillian, refusing to take her wedding gown off, rode him cowgirl style to his next climax. Over the next two days, Jillian was only out of the wedding dress long enough to shower.

Enrico, with his smaller than average cock, was able to take Jillian's anal cherry. Her mouth was fucked a few times too. He treated her like a whore, but she was so enthralled with her wedding, that she didn't realize it.

Dario constructed emails to Coco and Carter, attaching the videos. The emails implored them to avoid their spouses this weekend. We waited for their responses.

Enrico and Jillian made it easy to avoid their spouses over the weekend. Both had called and informed them that they were staying for a weekend round-table discussion and wouldn't be home until early Monday. They said they'd see them after work on Monday.

Coco's email came first. She said Enrico wondered why she seemed so unemotional and was everything okay at home?

Carter's email mirrored Cocos. Try as he might to remain cool, Jillian seemed concerned that he was so cold and unemotional, which was out of character for him. He said he told her a deal fell through.

+ + + +

With their alibis in place, Enrico booked a hotel near their office for two more nights of honeymoon sex. As long as he let Jillian wear that stupid wedding dress, she was his cock slave and could do whatever he wanted with her.

Over the next two days, that's exactly what he did. All three openings were used at least twice.

When they entered the building, on Monday, both were immediately ushered into John Blyndham's office. The law firm had been served with a hostile environment lawsuit, brought by their paralegal.

+ + + +

Heather continues:

I had called in sick on Monday. My hostile environment lawsuit was packaged and ready to file. Dario had John Blyndham served personally, at 9 am. Dario gave them until the end of the day to resolve the issue or the package would be filed with the court.

I sat in the gallery as the divorce cases were heard. Coco and Carter were present. Enrico and Jillian were absent. It's not unusual for attorneys to be late to a proceeding. The judge gave them until nine thirty to show. Neither did, and now they were divorced. At Dario's request, they each filed restraining orders keeping their former spouses away from their houses. He also encouraged them to change the locks immediately. He presented each with an invoice for his services. It was for one dollar, which they gladly paid in cash.

After we were out of the courthouse "Heather, we have a noon meeting at B and R."

I was so nervous I couldn't eat. It seemed to take forever for noon to roll around. Dario left me sitting in the conference room and stepped into an adjoining conference room. These were glass walls so I could see he was having a very spirited conversation on his cell phone. He returned before anyone from B & R arrived.

"We've got their attention. Charlie Robben plans on getting my license suspended. I recorded the call. Looks like we've got company."

Jillian, mascara smeared, and Enrico, steel jawed, each carried a few folders. John Blyndham and his personal assistant, Tara, followed close behind.

Neither Dario nor I extended a hand. Dario broke the ice "I'm recording this conversation."

John replied "As are we. Let's cut to the chase Dario. This hostile work environment lawsuit is meritless. My two associates are prepared to testify that Heather was, and continues to be, a delusional incompetent paralegal attempting to cash in on some imaginary problem."

"Well John, regardless of what your associates say, I'm guessing you'll want to step to the plate and get this resolved."

"Not a chance counselor. Take your best shot."

"If you say so John. When a jury finds out that your associates are bigamists, I think their credibility will plummet."

Enrico and Jillian stole looks at each other. John's head tilted "Bigamists?"

"Correct. Two Friday's ago, before they left for Las Vegas, each filed their Petition to Divorce. As you may remember from back when you were actually involved with the court system, those need to be approved by a judge before they become effective. Your shit for brains associates had an elaborate wedding while on the Las Vegas trip you paid for. Their honeymoon prevented them from actually attending seminars on two of the days."

I slid a copy of the certified marriage certificate towards John. The Clark County stamp was clearly visible.

Jillian couldn't hold her tongue "Both were jokes. We didn't file anything. That bitch did all of this."

John shouted "Shut the fuck up!"

Dario slid the executed responses to John.

"John, most likely contrary to your internal policies, Jillian is representing Enrico, and Enrico is representing Jillian. Both of their spouses have agreed to the proposed division of assets and our responses have been filed with the court. Earlier today a judge approved the petitions and now both are legally divorced. That means they weren't divorced when they married last Tuesday. I don't know whether you can remember taking Contract Law 101 but let me refresh your memory. Party A presents Party B with a signed contract. Party B signs and returns contract to Party A. At that point you have a contract. Ring a bell John."

The look of panic on Jillian and Enrico's faces was perfect. Sweat was beading up on Enrico's forehead and Jillian's tears were dripping off her face. She was silently sobbing and I now know what the look of heartbreak is. Both were shaking and their breathing was labored.

"As long as I'm at it. Jillian, this is a restraining order preventing you from your prior residence. Enrico, this is a restraining order preventing you from your prior residence."

John was fuming. He undid his tie and was searching his pockets for something. He brought out a pill container and used his water bottle to wash a few pills down.

"Tara, get security. These two are not to leave this office."

John wasn't pointing at Dario and me.

Enrico broke first, standing up and staring at me "I'm going to fucking kill you bitch!"

Dario stood up "Now, now, Enrico. Did you forget that there are two recordings being made of this meeting? Tara, would you call for the police to drop by. No need for a nine one one call. Would you rather that I have Heather make that call?"

"I'll take care of it Mr. Attraente."

John was leaning back and his head tilted backwards. He was breathing slowly but deeply.

Dario egged him on "Johnny, let me know when we can continue."

Three security guards arrived acting macho. One spoke "Problems with these two sir?"

He was pointing at Dario and me.

"Idiots, when I want you to think I'll let you know. One of you go clear out Jillian's office. One of you go clear out Enrico's office. And whoever's left, take THESE two to the office across the hall. They are NOT to leave."

John, having pointed at Jillian and Enrico, slumped back into his chair.

"Tara, get Charlie in here."

To say Jillian was distraught would be an understatement. Enrico was a danger. His veins were showing in his forehead and his fists were clenched. Security led both to their seats in the adjoining conference room. Charlie Robbem was followed by his personal assistant, Margo.

"You look sick John. You going to be alright?"

"Take over here. Settle with them."

"SETTLE? NO FUCKING WAY!"

Raising his head "Trust me. We don't want this being played out on the evening news."

Charlie and Dario obviously had history. Dario had this suck my cock look as he smirked at Charlie.

"What are you looking to get Dario?"

"An amount equal to everything Ms. Cummins has ever been paid here, and a glowing letter of recommendation."

"Get real. Ten thousand, take it or leave it."

John couldn't stand it "Listen moron, we have two bigamists who had sex in front of her. Do you want to be the front man for the news crews? Now get your head out of your ass and get this settled."

Dario's smirk was ear to ear now.

"What were the terms again?"

"An amount equal to one and a half times everything Ms. Cummins has ever made, and a glowing letter of recommendation."

"YOU SAID EQUAL!"

"Yeah, but you rejected that. I think we have a very strong case Chucky."

"Margo, get me Ms. Cummins payroll history."

After Margo left Charlie just couldn't let it go "This will be the last time you come out on top asshole. I'll get you. Mark my word."

John shouted again "SHUT THE FUCK UP! This is being recorded!"

John's breathing took a turn for the worse. Tara looked concerned "Can I get you anything John?"

He waved her off. Margo came back into the room with a few folders. Charlie took his time perusing the pages.

"John that would be over three hundred thousand! Can we talk about this privately?"

"Good idea. Would you two leave us alone for a minute?"

Mario dug the knife in "We're the guests here today. Why don't you two go snuggle in another office? We're not going anywhere, yet."

The partners and their assistants fled the scene, all with daggers flashing from their eyes.

+ + + +

I turned to talk to Dario but he put his hand up and pointed to the recorder. I was absolutely giddy. Three hundred thousand? My legs were weak. A few minutes turned into an hour. Halfway through our wait, the police arrived and took our statements. He closed the conference door behind him.

"Good afternoon. I'm Officer Jim Ringer. I understand Mr. Traditore made a death threat against Ms. Cummins?"

"That's correct. I'm Dario Attraente and I'm her legal counsel on another matter. I have his threat recorded. His employer has a recording as well."

"Do you wish to press charges Ms. Cummins?"

"Yes."

Tara was able to stall the police long enough for Charlie Robbem to present Enrico with his walking papers. Enrico was led away in cuffs. Dario had Tara draw up a restraining order protecting me from Enrico. After signing a few forms, they were electronically filed.

As far as our lawsuit, it took a lot longer than I thought it should. Margo dropped by a few times and told us they were drawing up some documents. We watched as Margo dealt with Jillian. Security escorted Jillian from the building.