All Comments on 'Wednesday = Hump Day Pt. 01'

Your story has an interesting direction, but it isn't enough to entice the reader to return. Please add to your story and do not leave us with as little as the beginning.

Could have been a good start, but all the above are distractions that are easily avoided with a little time and patience. Rushed and not well thought-out or delivered, 3 stars, which is still a 'like', but it could have scored much better with a little more care and attention to detail.

Wish I grew up with her

enjoyed the different take on mom/son thing...look forward to more

No background hell that wasn't even a tease to get me hard. Total fail. *

Okay a bit thin in the start, so you need to develop characters and their interaction beyond email. What is unique? Where do they go for privacy and developing their tryst and relationship?

I'm going to hold off, rating this story, until I've seen another chapter or two. It's got some potential, but it's too early to tell how it's going to turn out. There are some hints, such as the fact that Mom is sitting on the couch drinking a glass of wine, early in the afternoon. She's supposedly just finished her workout, but wine isn't really the best thing to drink after a workout. And she's going to take a COLD shower, after the workout? Strange. A hot shower, followed by a cold rinse, perhaps, but taking only a cold shower won't wash the sweat away as well, and runs the risk of trapping sweat in the pores when the cold water hits them.

Grammatically, the author needs improvement. It's not, "...an internet model that was made famous..." but "...an internet model WHO became famous..." And that's just one of his major errors in grammar.

Definitely, this tale could use some work - and an editor/proofreader!

This gets one start, and it's not a star.

This has more the feel of being hastily uploaded so your Mom wouldn't catch you writing this stuff.

Hey, folks, Shaun's got a hard-on in class...and yippie skippy.

This is worst than a police report that says, "There was a murder. Somewhere. We're looking into it and may have a case."

Not very helpful.

Does Literotica have a Juvenile Section? That's where this belongs.

Good build up. Can't wait for the next installment. Really like how subtle the seduction is progressing through the text messages.

The "writer" appears to be almost making the story up as he types...sort of, but not really. It's not a story at all, it's like a middle-school boy's initial random thoughts about maybe someday writing an actual story, but maybe not.

18 year old Shaun is a pretty ordinary young guy in most ways. One way he's a bit out of the ordinary is that when he's texting with his mom the kid gets hard in his shorts. No surprise--besides being his loving mother, Denise is drop-dead gorgeous. I wonder if when she's texting her baby boy mom gets maybe a little wet between her thighs? "Hump Day Pt. 01"? Hmm. Hump Day as in...motherhumping? Sounds very promising. How about if we cut this new author some slack? I've seen scathing negative comments scare away new writers on Lit time and again, and we readers are the big losers. Please, dear Shaunus, don't let them do that to you.

Denise - "Boring as usual, house work is pretty much done; dinner is in the oven"

then this line

Denise - "No doubt then he will get himself a pizza with none to share and some beers, so what do you want for dinner tonight sweety?" after having already put diner in the oven you need to keep track of your story so the reader does not lose track or maybe you could have said "desert" as a tease but that is about the worse i could come up with as showing a need to keep facts in line keep track and keep the flow going need of a cold shower does make me wonder if she is hot with desire or the need to cool down so husband doesn't come home and want to fuck her with the sent of a woman?? just a few points to clarify for the readers

Pay attention to your story line. Start an editorial dialogue with one or more of the many volunteers who've offered their services on this website. Present more than a teaser 1 page per Part. Readers will tire of the tease and not read your work.

Looking forward to the rst , well done : ))

Dont understand the criticism for some of the cu5ts here lol This is a hobby writers site not professional .Please hurry up with part 2 : )))

It was an okay start, but try to make the chapters longer and you'll see the votes go up. People don't like to just get into the story and have it end. It's better to have fewer 3 page chapters then a bunch of 1 page chapters.

with technology the way it is today home come there isnt more sexting stories!?i like it!!

Please for the love of God..Finish this hot story

Sorry, but anything this short is a waste of people's time.

just getting interesting, then nothing. Please finish.

Uh please write more, wtf? How do you end it there?!!!

I almost did!! ZZZZZZZZZ

Where's the rest of the story?????? Needs CH. 2

This is one of the hottest stories I have read

I have always wanted to fuck my mom

Looking forward to your long awaited next chapter.

Was good needs more

Let me start an finish Chp. 2

With 45 mins till Shaun heads home, he head was mess. Not being able to concentrate on anything else besides his mom, he began to reread his texts from his mom. Those winks ? Shaun continued to wonder, but there’s no way. Denise has been a great mother to him and always there whoever he needed anything.

While rereading those text messages, he saw those 3 dots pop up, then disappear, over an over, “was she texting me again ?, mybe wanting to talk more ?”. Shaun wanted to text her an talk more but wasn’t sure. Deciding to just go through it an see what happens, Shaun texted.

Shaun: sooooo bored !! Just want to get outta here.

Denise: pay attention ! Last year you didn’t do well in history, don’t let me distract you.

Pretty straight forward text from mom, no winks, no insinuations. Those winks might of been harmless ? Those 3 dots popped up again from mom.

Waiting in anticipation to see what she says.

Denise: we both can’t be bored at the same time. Plus, you need to learn and I’m allowed to be bored lol ; ).. besides, being bored can be fun !

Ok ok, there it is again !! A wink, plus “being bored can be fun !” ???

Shaun’s weird back an decides to be blunt. “Who knows, I can always play it off as being innocent”.

Shaun: well how can being bored be fun ? Unless your really liking this conversation we are having, I know I am ; )

Denise: well of course ! I love our conversations sweetie. Just, nothing you can help me with.

Shaun: what do you need help with mom ?

Denise: we should stop this conversation.

Shaun is really happy where this is going. He texted back.

Shaun: oh I will be happy to help you with anything mom, you know that.

Denise: trust me, you can’t : (

Shaun: mom please tell me.

Denise: I’m just in a mood ; )

Ok shaun is thinking about getting little deeper and more bold with this conversation. Shaun texts back.

Shaun: what kind of mood ?. Because I’m also in a mood too ; ) by the way, next time we go shopping, might need to buy some lose pants, these are pretty tight, especially right now ; )

Denise has always thought shaun has turned into a very handsome man an thought to herself “is he saying what I think he’s saying ??”

Denise: we can look into that for sure : ) where are they tight on you ?

Shaun: more between my legs, more upper area.

Denise: Shaun!!! You mean ? Your ?

Shaun: yessssssss ! Lol I’m not alittle kid anymore.

Denise: well I knew that ! You have grown into a very handsome young man ; )

Shaun: thanks mom ! Your not so bad yourself !! I have always thought you were the most beautiful women I have ever seen.

Denise: thank you sweetie !!!

Shaun: of course, sometimes I have to think of other things when your walking around the house in those skimpy clothes ; )

Denise: SHAUN !!!!

Denise: I do appreciate that, but you can talk to me like that especially right now ; )

Shaun: sorry mom I’m in a little mood ; )

Denise: well I can understand that for sure.

Shaun gets even bolder and sneaky. He has an idea. Taking his phone an points the camera at his big thick dick that is pants are so tight too. Shaun, looks at the pic, “holy shit ! I bet she’s like that. Copying then pasting to the conversation with mom, Shaun looks at the send button “fuck, should I??” ……..press, pic sent… fuck ! Here we go. Ok now it’s delivered. 3 dots pop up, mom is saying something about what I just did.

Denise: Mmmmyyyy goddddd !!!!! Yup new pants I will get for you, you obviously need it. And you obviously need a girlfriend lol !!

Shaun: I got you

Denise: your sweet.. you know, it’s little naughty talking to me like this.

Shaun: still in those tight black gym clothes ? ; )

Denise feels sooo flushed ! Soooo turned on, she can’t believe this is happening with Shaun. She noticed that her little black bottom gym shorts are getting soakin wet. Her beautiful shaved pussy I’d drooling for Shaun. “Think I’ll take little pic, it’s only fair ???” Not thinking like herself, Denise takes a pic of the front side of her little black shorts, showing how tight to her pussy they are, plus there’s a little wet spot that is obviously… pic sent.

Shaun: mmmmmmmmmm mom !!! Your making my mouth water, Jesus !

Denise: how’s class now ? Hehe lol

Shaun: a lot harder.. mom that’s sooooo hot ! I love it.