All Comments on 'Weekend in Galveston'

Bull S... Eating in expensive restaurant, stealing a Thermos of Liquor ... Just not believable in set up and to disconnected

"What dude did someone see us?"

"Just me and Steph."

Hmmm Steph that's interesting.

"Ok, so what the hell what gives?"

"Dude we would have done the same, but I don't carry condoms in my bathing suit, did you use one?"

"...Nope."

Dialog not in quotations, which makes it harder for your reader to realize it's actually fucking dialog. Sentences that clearly need more punctuation than we're seeing. Periods missing. Question marks missing. Commas either missing, or used in place of periods. And that's just the clearly defined grammar portion of my critique. "Clearly defined" as in: there are actually rules for proper grammar. This isn't just my private opinion. There are actually people who get paid to teach people (like you) how to speak and write grammatically correct English. (They even call them "English Teachers" to make them easier to identify!)

I won't bother with the personal opinion portion of what I could say about your actual concept. It was poorly envisioned, and poorly executed. It was lame in pretty much any way you could measure. 'nuff said.

Epiphany_Jones does make a couple good pointers. There is a lot of grammatical errors, and this story was hard to follow. However, the way that Jones stated it was in it self crude. If Jones is so good at grammar than instead of blasting away, he should offer to help you editing.

Also, please remember, that all authors including the most famous. Have editors nitpiking every word and punctuation that the person wrote. That is the only way to get better. So my advice to you is find a good editor and proof reader that you like and listen to their advice. I believe literotica has some resources that you could look into. Happy writing and Please keep up on it. Oh, and another thing ask some of the other authors that are constantly highly rated for advice.

Ok like before my rant is over with. Thanks for reading. :oP