by laptopwriter
Just a maudlin and sickly sentimental tear jerker of an attempt at a story. Not very much of a story other than the pity party.
even while the world spins and some mortals survive TK U MLJ LV NV
the difficulty of 9 months separation was largely glossed over. Any drama was shortcircuted by husband and wife being such unwavering paragons of true love. It's like laptopwriter ( who I've five starred in past ) decided to transpose the classic ' Lives of the Saints ' for Loving Wives. Heathens and threats of martyrdom have their place in pumping up dramatic tension.
It was gutsy to give husband spinal bifada, we all know it must be difficult, but don't know how. A love scene would have definite carnal and mechanical complications that a ambitious writer would have explored. Nope. laptopwriter wasn't feeling it. As a result , I didn't either.
Any reader whose writing Gods are RichardGerald, Matt M and Swingerjoe is someone without a shred of credibility. His long-winded, pompous theatrics might be great for children's theatre, though his extensive referral to his thesaurus might irritate even second graders. He has quickly become the Armond White of Literotica. The only question is if he is the worst commentator on loving wives ore the worst on the whole site.
As for this story, it is an attempt on the part of the writer to evoke the same emotions he got with "The last chimes of fall," except this doesn't get there. Three stars.
From my experience, about 10% of the population are truly saints. When you find two of them married to each other, it is amazing. They are great people to be around. I hope your friend has such a wife.
But if did seem to have a head and a tail with nothing in between and I like to have something to chew.
Most of the stories these days are written about black men dreaming of white women and Cheating women who have gay husbands waiting at home. Total cesspool. Keep writing .
4* and I'm not even going to complain about the "wrong category"
What a great short story. I especially liked this:
"Nine months ago neither Jim nor Cathleen would have suspected their time apart would actually enrich their lives and bring them closer, but it did-through the power of words. Each and every day, they told each other things they never felt it necessary to say in person, the things that went unsaid before."
A great way to end the day with.
so simple yet so beautiful. thanks for sharing.
love you brother :)
This one got to me. A welcome change from the cheating stories. A real love story that brings out emotions and remembrances from my past. Been there, not to his extent, but, been there. Thank you.
Thank you for writing such a story.
It's a nice change of pace from the normal LW stories. A truly loving wife in LW, who'd have thunk it.
5 stars, easily.
Well written. Pulls the old strings. Pushes the right buttons, but...
I wrote something titled "Too Clever by a Mile' about a hospice for children with leukemia. I finished, looked back, and realized how totally inappropriate it was to put something like that on a site like Literotica. It just wasn't right. My oldest daughter is often my editor, and she was horrified. I've left it up, but am ashamed of it.
There's just something wrong about capitalizing on other peoples' very real suffering. Next time try something different, a comedy.
Jedd Clampett
Jed, how about all the stories that capitalize on the suffering of a husband whose been betrayed by his wife? All stories capitalize on something. This was written per request from a friend of mine who suffers from the disease and who also reads Literotica. He asked if I'd write a story just for him. He didn't feel I was capitalizing on his suffering and I don't feel that way either.
Your writing is usually pretty good, but not so much for this one. I was looking for a plot and didn't find any. Couple separated for 9 months, wife returns. ??? That was it. If the separation caused ether of them any particular problems, we didn't read about them.
Oh well, can't please everyone.
Chilley
Nice turnaround on the 'Loving Wives' category title, too.
This was terrible, given the heightened expectations i had when I saw the author posted a story. I mean is written in a very basic manner, and has no dramatic tension.
What a pleasure to meet Jim and Cathleen. I'd be honored to shake their hands. You tell their story well, honestly and with well-described emotion. The only thing that would have made it better for me was for you to have described some of the trials they went through while they were apart. Not to envision them failing, just to make their ultimate victory sweeter for being dearly won. As for the category: if they're going to call it "loving wives," then they had better expect a truly loving wife to show up from time to time. I, for one, enjoy it when she does.
Brings back memories of my deployment during Desert Storm. The four months my wife and I were apart seemed like 20 years. Thanks.
It is not much of a story. There's barely anything I would call a plot. It feels more like the first and final scene of a story was mashed together.
I kept waiting for some tragedy like most stories on this site but, you gave us a true love story and I don't care what catagory its put in - it is a great short story.
I loved it. it brought tears to my eyes. So nice to have a short happy story for a change.
Of all your stories, I've read every single one on this site, this is the best. PERFECT.
The fact that it belongs in the Romance category doesn't distracted from its heart-felt sentiment and joy.
Good story but what's this 273 days? I thought she was to be gone for 9 months. Did he wait that long before writing that letter?
Keep writing as this and I will keep reading
I like a sweet short story as much as the next guy, but man, if she got that letter she should have shuddered and started fucking a handsome soldier. Yuck.
Such a nice change from the usual "She was away, so she cheated..." story. Thanks for sharing something real.
As I read through this short tale I kept waiting for the worst; she gets killed in a military situation or his body gives way to his disease or... But somehow none of that happened and we get the real punch line: that if you communicate all the time your life is so greatly enriched. What a fantastic message to the rest of us!
Had to quit reading at that point.
Damn
A beautiful tale. Almost makes me want to believe in love again.
1 star.
This story started well and the went down hill fast. Chopping and changing times without clear demarcation.
I kept waiting for something to happen. But no. There was a big nothing. A complete void. An absence of any story. Then a hurried and pathetic end.
Disappointing from such a talented writer.
I felt sure that he knew that he was dying and wouldn't be there when she came back, but didn't tell her. The I thought that SHE had died.
\
FWIW, I know it's needed for the story, but I had to suspend disbelief that she was the ONLY nurse that could do this, that she had to leave her disabled husband.
Lovely story, but not to be a category Nazi, but seems more like Romance to me.
Stupid NAZI103x! Yes it is a beautiful story and your comment is useless and ignorant - why bother? Thank you LTW.
somewhere east of Omaha
Damned why are my eyes leaking. As someone else mentioned I thought it would be him succumbing to his disease or her dieing in some foreign hell hole but it wasn't. IT WAS A TRUE LOVING WIVES STORY.
The strength both of these people had was amazing as was their love for each other.
Thank you for writing a story of true love not of hate.
I think, maybe, this story has brought home some of our feelings as we depart & return from overseas on any tour of duty. But most especially, without a doubt, most especially when we ship out to a combat theater.. thank you.
W, SFC, US ARMY RETIRED
Nice story. I was expecting a more dramatic ending, like maybe she would come back a few months pregnant.
2nd time through. Still a great story.
Sorry the little cuck bitches didnt like it but if it didnt involve a big cock for them to slobber over they cant find any worth in it...ironic isnt it as cuck have no worth themselves.
I thought it was a wonderful little story of being apart and returned to find and hold onto each others love once again 5
This is a clear example of what so many military people, active duty and reserve, face during their time in service. We know when we raise our hand and take the oath of enlistment that there is a chance that we will be separated from our family and still swear to obey the orders of those above us (even the real assholes).
Don't thank us for out service because there are too many reasons we chose the career we travel. If you get to know one of us just be our friend and support our loved ones when we are ordered to some distant location. For those who served with me so long ago; Welcome Home. We didn't hear those words back then.
Incredible imagery!
This story went my heart and ran away with it.
THANK YOU!!
You are a heart and soul crusher. That was fantastic. Creative and well told and presented. Thank you.
Heart wrenching story. But seriously since when do UTIs cause testicles to be removed. Really?
Late to the party here, but will echo the praise from those who loved this story. And to think- he lost his testicles, therefore she HAD to cheat, right? Nope, here was a woman of character, who really loved her wonderful man. This was absolutely in the right category, the others aren't.
Someone asked why Cathleen was treating someone who wasn't in the Armed Forces. The answer is in the early part of the story before the nurse was called to active duty. Many Reservist are called up to go to the front lines and she was one.
A story of true love, she really was a loving wife, the only one in literotica, the others are all bitches, for which there should a different category, something like 'Cheating Whore's'. 5* for restoring my faith in human nature.
It was far better than my own experience of marriage.
Quite romantic and poetic despite the heart rending and searing pain. How blessedly gratifying.
Now there, in one short, concise story is the essence of true love.
It's almost a miracle, but is what every union, every partnership should be.
It doesn't matter the circumstances of life. It should be that the one sees the other for who they truly are... the person inside. With that one gift, the worst storms can be weathered like a summer shower.
It's funny. In a real way, Jim's handicap is no handicap at all. It allowed him to show the mettle of which he is made, and allowed him to find that one true soul who was just as special, and worthy of sharing their combined life. Someone just as special as he.
This site is full of narcissistic characters. It's funny, but all of them are handicapped by the 'normal' trappings of life. By taking things for granted, they forget what's really important and discard their own honour, debasing themselves in the search for greater gratification or just outright selfishness. To all of them, these characters, and even their real-life counterparts, the lesson from this story would simply be wasted on the lot of them.
If this is true to your real-life James, then he has about the richest, most blessed life that I could imagine, and I'm jealous.
Well done.
As an ex-soldier too often deployed afar and away from love ones, I could feel your words! Well done!
A very sweet, although slightly improbable tale. Well worth Five stars. Very moving
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JPB NOT BOB