Well You Asked For It

"Why, Marius? Is it that I am not enough for you?"

"No, Ros, it's not like that. I just thought it might just be a bit of fun. Gerard from accounting is involved with a group. He told me it was the most incredible experience. He and his wife Barbara, both really enjoy it."

I could do nothing but stare back at him, my mouth hanging open. Eventually, after what felt an age, I snapped, "I can't believe it, Marius. We have been married nearly eighteen years. Now, out of the blue, you want to get involved with some sleazy wife-swapping club. I'm speechless. You never even said you were unhappy with our sex life."

"Ros, please. Our sex life is so slow lately. You must feel like me. You must want more from life?"

Nodding my agreement. I replied, "I admit, that things have tapered off over the last couple of years. But that's what happens. I assume every married couple goes through it. We can make love more often. I would like that."I tried to keep it light, but my tummy was in knots.

He flopped down into his big La-Z-Boy chair, his head in his hands. "It's not just the frequency, Ros." He gave me a pleading look. "It's the fire, the intensity and the passion; where has the passion gone? We need something to give us a kick in the pants."

"And you think going to a party to have sex with other people is going to improve our sex life?"

He nodded. "It couldn't hurt, could it? Christ, Ros, I just thought new experiences, new partners. Surely the thought of that must excite you?"

An icy cold shiver ran down my spine. The mere thought of it repulsed me. "I can't think of anything worse. Some horrible old guy wanting to climb all over me is supposed to get me excited." Giving him an angry glare I asked, "Tell me Marius, who exactly is involved in this club?"

He squirmed a little, hesitant to answer. "Just Gerard from work, Monty, a few others."

"Gerard," I spat out. "You think I want to have sex with him? He's ten years older than us, he's bald and at least twenty five pounds over weight." My earlier shiver turned into a shudder.

"Come on, Ros, there will be other people there, as well."

"I know how these things work, Marius. Everybody's keys tossed into a bowl. I've seen the movies. If I pulled Gerard's keys out of the bowl, I would be expected to sleep with him, right?"

Throwing his hands in the air in a huff, he muttered angrily, "Christ, I don't know, Ros. I mean, what say we go and have a look, meet the people, see how it goes down. Even if we didn't participate, it would be exciting wouldn't it?"

"No, good lord, Marius. I can't think of anything worse. I'm not interested."

I stormed off to bed to have my cry in private. I admit things had slowed down in the bedroom for us. But, after eighteen years, that has to be expected. I glanced at myself in the mirror. Without sounding conceited, I still looked okay for a thirty eight year old woman. I took care of myself. I never smoked, my skin was still soft. I worked out at the gym. I went for a run most nights.

Giving my tummy a little squeeze, I sighed. "Okay, I could afford to lose a couple of pounds. But I dressed well, I worked hard. My job as assistant editor at Woman's World magazine brought us in a reasonable income. Our house was almost paid off. If Marius hadn't wanted this big monstrosity, we would already own our old home. But no, he wanted something that told the world how successful he was, how well he was doing.

Granted, he was doing well. He made partner five years before, and we were doing very well, thank you. His brand new Mercedes was another example of "suck that, world. Look at me."

Our son Arthur was off at boarding school. Again, it just had to be the most prestigious school in the country. Life was going so well. Then he springs this shit on me.

I showered and climbed into bed. I rolled right to the edge of the bed. I wanted nothing to do with Marius that night. If he thought he could trade me off like a used car, he was mistaken.

He came in hours later, and I was just sliding into sleep when I felt him slide in under the covers, his naked body moving over towards me. I'm sure when his hands fell onto my flannelette PJ's he knew there would be no intimacy that night.

Over the next month, that conversation played out time after time. Marius was adamant: we needed it.

He might, but I damned well didn't. If he thought our sex life was bad before, he must now have wished he could turn back the clock, because it had been over a month since we last made love.

He tried, goodness me, he tried. I saw the frustration growing daily. I should have expected his next move, but I was totally naive and unaware of how determined he was.

He came home late from work, his breath smelling of bourbon. I saved his dinner, and it sat in the microwave waiting. When he strode purposefully into the lounge, I said, "Your dinner is in the microwave."

He leaned down and kissed me, his alcohol laden breath almost intoxicating me with its strength. "No thanks, Ros. I want to talk."

He sat down beside me, his hand picked up mine, making me put down my tablet to gaze back at him. "All right, Marius. What is this important bit of news? Share with me."

"I have tried, Ros, I really have. You refused to even consider the wife swapping. Even my suggestions of us finding a couple that we both liked and trying that. Nothing, you froze me out. God knows how long it's been since we made love."

"Marius, I want to make love. I miss the lovemaking as much as you."

"Then why for gods sake won't you consider any of my suggestions?"

Confused by his continual onslaught, I replied, "Because I love you. We made promises, vows to each other at our wedding. I hold those dear to my heart. I don't want other men. I just want you."

He frowned deeply, his face a grim mask of despair. "Ros, I love you, as well. I want some heat back in our marriage bed. I want something more than making love once a week on Saturday night. I want passion, lust. I think we need something to drive it."

Gripping his hand tightly with both mine, I whispered hoarsely, the words almost painful. "I would love that. I want to enjoy our lives together. We could go away for a romantic get away. Go to counselling or something. I hate the fact we argue all the time."

He nodded, and I felt his grip tighten. "Yes, A holiday would be good. I do, however, have something I want you to consider."

Anxious at his stark words, I replied, "Yes?"

Standing quickly, and dropping my hand, he paced around our coffee table, his hand rubbing his bristly chin with an anxious venom. He was looking for strength. "Ros, you didn't like the idea of swinging, or swapping. I suggest we open our marriage. That way, you can select your own partners."

I felt the blood drain from my face, my heart rate fell. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Open marriage..."

He nodded. "Yes, that way we don't have to worry about finding a couple we both like. You would be free to do as you please. Find a lover, or lover's you like."

"But I don't want lovers. All I want is my husband to love me. I don't need anybody else."

Unable to hold my gaze, he looked away. "Sorry, Ros, my mind is made up. I think it will work."

"You already have somebody, don't you?"

His face blushed bright red. "I knew it. You're not interested in making our relationship better. You've found somebody else."

"No, Ros, it's not like that. I want us to grow together. Experience new things. Find some new joy in our lives. When we're together, we can bring those new ideas and experiences."

"No, Marius. I won't have it. I am saying no."

He nodded slowly as he continued to pace slowly. "Ros, I wasn't actually asking permission. I was telling you what is going to happen. I will not cheat on you. I will be honest with you. When I am going on a date, I will tell you, and I expect the same from you."

Shocked that he thought he could just dump it on me like that, I snapped. I stood, as well, and walked right up to him. "Marius. If you think I will sit by while you have sex with some classless bimbo, you're mistaken. If you so much as look at another woman, we will be in a divorce so fast you will wonder what happened."

"Ros, I hoped it wouldn't come to that. But if that's how you want it to go, then that's what will happen. It's not what I want, but if that's all you've got, then so be it."

"If that's all I've got," I snarled vociferously. "I never realised what a pig you were. I have given everything in this marriage. I have worked hard. Put up with all your childish demands, new house, new cars. You're so tied up in your status, you've lost touch with reality."

"Say what you will, Ros, I am drawing a line in the sand. I want us to enjoy the freedoms of an open marriage. I don't want divorce. I don't want to lose you. I do love you, always have. I think if you think this through, you will see there are advantages for us both."

"Advantages. What damn advantages?"

"You're a very beautiful woman, Ros; you won't have trouble finding somebody. I would be surprised if you don't get hit on every day."

His statement shocked me. "Marius, I'm not interested in other men. How many times do I have to tell you?"

"It wouldn't hurt if you dressed a little sexier, Ros. Make the most of your body."

"Good god, listen to yourself. You actually want me to chase after men? Is that what you want?"

"Ros, I want us to have a completely open relationship, if chances arise that either of us like, then we would be free to explore them. There would have to be rules, of course. Like, no partners here in the house. Practising safe sex, and I think we should stay away from close acquaintances."

Stunned, I wilted. Stumbling back to collapse on the settee, I murmured, "Rules, you want rules. You think you can just drop this on me and then you want rules."

"Honey, I just want us to explore what's available with an open mind. You must meet men in your role who attract you. Well, now you would be free to follow that up."

With my mind in turmoil, I walked away. I couldn't argue with this silly logic. I was now convinced he had a lover and was just looking for a way to make me accept it.

It brought into question my love for him. Over recent months, that love was pushed to the limit. No, I felt like I was in free fall. I closed and locked the bedroom door. There was no way he was sharing my bed. If divorce was really what he wanted, then by god, he would get it."

Life, as they say goes on. It appeared we were on different roads. We passed in the hallway. We hardly talked. At work, I found it hard to concentrate. I was grumpy and upset. I was surprised when one of our new interns walked in. Kate was a gorgeous wee thing: the sort of girl everybody liked. She was cute as a button, smart, witty and as sharp as a tack.

Since starting with us, she had managed to work her way into all our hearts. Golly, I had never seen anybody work as hard.

She walked into my office carrying two cups of coffee, "Latte two sugars, right?"

I smiled warmly. "Perfect. Thanks, Kate."

She sat opposite me and stared across the desk. "Rosalyn, can I help? I have watched you sinking over the last month or so. Something is bothering you, and it's big. Is your health okay?"

Her concern and obvious kindness brought out the waterworks. I had been fighting for days to keep it under control. Now it all spilled out in a torrent of tears.

Seeing my distress, she jumped up quickly and rushed to close my office door. Grabbing and passing me some tissues, she walked around my desk and wrapped me in a tight loving embrace.

"Ros, it will be all right. Whatever it is, we will all help. We can get you through it."

I pushed my face into her shoulder, enjoying the closeness. "Is it cancer?" she asked softly, hesitantly.

I lifted my head out of the comforting nook of her heck, wiped away some tears and sniffled. "No, it's not illness. It's my husband."

She picked up a tissue and wiped away a tear. "Oh god, sorry, Ros. Do you want to talk about it?"

I did, I really did; maybe Kate was the perfect person. I was too embarrassed to talk to my really close friends, or family, for that matter. "He wants an open marriage. He wanted to do wife swapping, for heavens sake."

She looked shocked. "What a dick. Has he already started seeing somebody?"

"No, I don't think so. He said he would tell me if he was going to date somebody. But I don't know what to believe any more."

We hugged again, and I spilled out the whole story. She nodded along as I retold the story. She even took a few notes. When I finished, she asked, "Does he have an iPhone?"

"Yes," I replied cautiously.

"Hon, it means we can track his whereabouts. We can find out where he is."

"Wow, I never thought about that," I mumbled, wondering where this was going.

She picked up on my concerns. "Ros, what do you want to do? Are you going to accept it and just take his shit, or are you going to fight?"

"Fight, I guess," I replied.

"Good, and if he does cheat, what are you going to do?"

"I'm not living with a cheater. If he does, then I will be seeking a divorce."

Kate gave me another hug. "I understand. Nobody should have to put up with that shit. Use the phone, track him. If he is being honest and tells you he is going to go on a date or whatever, then we can fight. Make it hard for him."

"How? I asked. My nerves were already stretched.

"Ros, I want to help. The moment he gives you some indication of his intent, then call me straight away and we will burn his arse."

Kate and I became closer than friends as the days ticked by. We worked closely on projects and she was such an incredible spirit. She gave me hope, and she raised my confidence.

It was a few days later when Marius dropped his news on me. "Ros, sorry to drop it on you like this. I tried to figure out an easier way to tell you. In the end, I think we just need to be honest with each other. I have a date tomorrow night."

"I see," I hissed. "What do you want me to do? Am I supposed to curl up and die?"

"Ros, you're over-reacting. You are free to see somebody, as well, you know. We don't have to fight."

Frowning, I snipped caustically. "You know what, Marius? You're right. I have had plenty of offers. I might just take the opportunity to go on my own date."

I watched intently as his face twitched and his forced smile suddenly got harder to hold. "Good," he mumbled. "Shall we discuss rules?"

"No, I don't think so, Marius. You already mentioned them. Safe sex, no sex here in the house, no close friends. Any others?"

He flinched as I spat them all out. "Um, well. I think for the first few, perhaps there should be no overnight stays?"

I shrugged. "Fine, do you want to know who I am going to be with?"

He grimaced. "Do I know him?"

"No, he is a young intern from work. His name is Rupert."

"An intern, huh? How old is he?"

"Twenty-two," I replied haughtily.

"What? Holy shit, Ros. Wow, talk about cradle robbing."

"Who are you seeing then?"

He swallowed a big lump of god knows what as he replied, "Her name is Angela. I met her through work."

Nodding, I asked. "And how old is she?"

"Thirty-five or so. Not sure exactly."

"Is she married?"

"Divorced."

"Oh. Well, I hope you have a good night. I know I will."

Those words made him grimace again. "Ros, can we try and put the anger away now? It would be nice to make love with my wife. It has been so long."

I pretended to consider it. "No, I don't think so, Marius. I think I would like to be fresh and clean for my new lover."

"What? Good god. The dates aren't until tomorrow night. Why can't we make love?"

"I need a good nights rest. You can sleep in the spare room as usual. I am enjoying having the bed to myself, and not listening to you snore is heaven."

"Ros, how the hell are we meant to fix things between us if you won't sleep with me? If you keep putting up barriers?"

"I don't know. All I know is, this is your idea, not mine. I want you to remember this conversation in the future. I don't want to do it. I would much rather find a good counsellor, and try to work it out."

He lifted himself up to his full height, stared down at me and muttered angrily, "Ros, you do things your way. I hope after tomorrow night, you will see that this has been a big misunderstanding, and you are overreacting."

After locking the bedroom door I tearfully called Kate. She listened without interruption as I relayed the story. "All right, Ros, tomorrow, we will organise a plan. I'm sorry, doll. I'm sorry I can't give you a hug. We'll sort it tomorrow. Make the bastard pay."

Her reassuring words gave me a warm feeling. Okay, maybe I couldn't stop him carrying out his lascivious proposal. I could; however, make him pay, just like Kate said.

The morning was cold and business like. "Are you coming home before you go out?" I asked.

"No, I don't think so. I don't want to make this harder than it has to be. I'll be home about eleven thirty. What about you?"

"Not sure, are there rules about this as well?"

With a determined set of his jaw he snapped. "Yes, I suppose we should both be home before midnight." It was all so cold, so matter of fact. There was no passion in his voice, no hint of excitement or anger, just, 'oh well.'

God, the fact he thought he could handle this like it was a business deal annoyed me greatly.

He was gone quickly. I grabbed some clothes as Kate asked and headed for work. Kate was waiting with croissants, coffee and a hug. Her hug was the closest I had come to intimacy in so long it hurt.

The fact she was so cute didn't hurt, the heat from her body radiating through the polyester blend blouse.

As we sat at my desk nibbling croissants and drinking our coffee, she asked, "Do you know where he is going tonight?"

"No, he didn't say. You said we could use my phone to track him."

Nodding slowly, her mouth full of croissant, she said, "I thought about that, but thought perhaps it would be best to have your phone turned off. That way he couldn't track you. He might be cleverer than we have given him credit for."

As I sipped my coffee, she suggested, "What say you call him now. Say you want to know where he's going so you don't both end up at the same place?"

I nodded. "Golly, you are a very clever. Have you done this before?"

"No, but I watch a lot of crime shows on TV. Too many, probably."

I rang Marius and used Kate's words. He sounded convinced. "Good idea, Ros. We're going to La'Rochelle. The French place down by the waterfront."

I was shocked, that was more thought than he had put into a date with me for years. Trying to sound unemotional, I replied, "Oh, that sounds nice."

I think he realised, he had made a mistake, because he added quickly, "You and I should try it one night. I'll let you know what it's like."

I hung up and Kate gave me a hug. "It'll be okay, Ros. I know this is hard, but believe me, he is not getting lucky tonight."

"How can you be so sure?" I moaned.

"Trust me, I have a plan. Can you afford $100 dollars?"

Curious, I asked, "Do you mean cash?"

"Yes, we may need to bribe the waiter. I hope it will be a woman, but if not, we may need cash."

I nodded. "I will stop at a machine." Kate was quickly on the phone, booking a table for two at La' Rochelle.

The night arrived so fast. We stayed at work until everybody else had left. We dressed and prepared ourselves for battle. I couldn't believe how gorgeous Kate looked. She looked devastatingly beautiful. I felt old in her company. She allayed my fears. "Ros, oh my god. You look sensational. That man of yours is an idiot."

Her words made me glow. She had a way of lifting my spirits, even in the most dire circumstances.