All Comments on 'Westbound Pt. 02'

Having read Westbound 1,2, and 3, I don't see much of rewrite to this part. I guess that will be in part 3. Is it a typo or is one of the slaves speaking in a accent? There is good tension build in this story, just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

and this one is absolutely no exception.

I also appreciate the idea that slavery in your universe isn't really permanent. That covers a lot of holes like what to do with elederly and infirm 'slaves', or with children of them. It makes the universe less harsh and therefore more believable.

You should be very proud of what you write. It is all very good. I especially want to congratulate you on the world building. Reading literotica stories is such a better experience when it feels like the world is being lived in and I wished is was something more authors would take the time to do.

-writingsomethingnew

I went back and reread chapter 1 and realized I left a very similar comment on that one, too. I'm just really impressed by your writing. Looking forward to the last chapter and to the other story that you're working on.

Thanks, I'm so glad you're enjoying it! And I agree about the lengths of slavery terms: the world I've built is sometimes called "bleak" and "gritty," and removing most life slavery makes it a little less so, so we can concentrate on the more interesting aspects :)

Yes, Mary has a strong rural Oklahoma accent, combined with the speech patterns of a woman who dropped out of school at an early age. I hinted at it in the earlier chapter, but emphasized it more in this one.

BELIEVE me, I am not even a tiny bit upset about your similar comments (I hadn't even realized it until you pointed it out)! :D

Seriously though, thank you for all of your kind words and encouragement, I appreciate it more than you know.

Also, I'm beginning to think I may actually enjoy the world building as much or more than the storytelling!

I love your work, and this story is quite satisfying so far! I look forward to seeing her future interactions with Linda and Chuy.

Okay, that was a pretty terrifying cliff-hanger... let's see what happens next. I bet it's really unpredictable, lol.