All Comments on 'Wet Dreams'

There's promise with your writing, but it's too dependent on quotes that add little to the power of the story. Too many, 'oohs', 'aahs', and 'oh, yeahs'.

The power of the writing is in the descriptions of what's happening between the two people, such as when his cock was at the entrance to her pussy, and when he looked up to see her eyes closed with her mouth open. Does that makes sense?