All Comments on 'What a Shortstop Does Ch. 25-28'

Hello, it was a great story. Happy that their is a happy ending. The last chapter was a bit too fast, to go from we split 7 years ago to we get married but it is never easy to finish a story. Overall, a great story with great characters. Thank you. I hope you will continue writing stories.

This has been a lovely story. I got entirely wrapped up in the characters, praying for a happy ending.

Thank you.

Wow, talk about sticking the landing! There's always more things to praise with your stories than will comfortably fit in a single comment, even a long one, but let me at least give this a shot.

First of all: When done well, leaps in time to me are a great way of raising the stakes, and this story is a perfect example of that. We know, of course, that you're not going to introduce a new girlfriend in chapter six that replaces Ro, but you still caught me off guard and I really enjoyed that extra bit of initial surprise.

I also love how you made their reunion natural, but complicated and not exactly seemless. Their hesitancy to put a label on things, the bedroom-problems, their decision to get married especially (which, by the way, again caught me off guard - I think this is the first time in a story that I've read here where that wasn't a big thing with reappearances from all major characters and elaborate planning, but instead something rushed, tense and, while happy, somewhat forced by circumstances. I cannot describe how much I appreciate that dose of "well, sometimes things do be like that"!).

Third, kudos to you for daring to end this in a slightly open way. I think it fits your style and the characters perfectly.

Fourth: Thank you for writing this thing and then sharing it within a really short (I mean, not going to lie: This last part in particular did feel like an eternity, what with me checking every day for a new update, but that's not really your fault and I'm fairly sure it would have felt like that no matter the time between two parts) time span! This was clearly an enormous amount of work, and I'm sure a lot of time has past from your first draft to finally getting the praise this deserves.

Not sure I have anything valuable in the way of constructive criticism to offer, but at least a few impressions: While I normally advocate for people to wrap up their stories without doing the whole "proposal - marriage - happily ever after with kids and two dogs and a very nice picket fence" thing, here I felt like their reunion could have lasted a page or two longer for my taste - in the middle, not at the end, but I already wrote how much I like your ending. For me, them getting in touch again and going from there to a relationship could have used the extra room to breathe. I know that's greedy and we already got a lot of text, but still :) Also, I found that the immediate "are you moving to NY for Ro?" question from Sarah's friends didn't seem to fit the seven years that went by. I mean, you would ask that after a year or so I guess, but would you jump to that conclusion after six or however many?

Anyway, I'll leave it at that. Thank you again for sharing this incredible finale, take care of yourself, definitely take a break ... and then maybe consider returning with another story? I know I can't wait.

Wow, this was a surprise but i loved it and great way to end it.

I agree, it was a long time between chapters. I had to go back and read the previous chapter. It was worth the wait. It’s sad but current to include the pandemic in the story. You did that extremely well. I will miss Sarah and Ro, glad it was a happy ending. You are now one of my favorite writers.

Thank you, Kate. Thank you for the tight edit. I'm one of those weird people that get pulled out of the story by typos and spelling and they seemed trivial, if they were there at all (maybe I'll find some on the re-reads, I promise there will be at least one or two). Have to admit to, I was really distressed to jump in and find Sar almost normal and happy with Jen, although I know now she was there to help establish some of the themes. That said, the end seemed just a bit rushed....after setting up Sarah with her issues and then resolving it at the very end with just a couple of paragraphs , I don't know, it just seems to short change the resolution to something that had been a focus of the story. Still, happy to see this here this morning. Happy for the open ending with hints of what could be for the ladies in the future. I'll look forward to the next story you weave. Hopefully your muse lets it be sooner than later! Thanks again for a great series.

Hard to define this story - not a huge amount of drama or sex like some, but it sucked me in.

I just know that I felt pretty good after reading each posting, so thank you for that, and I look forward to your next project.

The whole story from start to finish was amazing. Glad we had the happy ending between Ro and Sar.

This story was amazing, you're already one of my favorite authors!

I find there are just a few "elite" authors on this site who draw me in with great love stories that feature fabulous character development. I scan the new stories list frequently looking for their names in hopes of a new story to get engrossed in. Your name is now on my short list of these authors. Please keep writing; can't wait for more. And I think the feedback in the first 5 comments to date is fair and tells me I am not alone in my opinion that your writing is excellent!

7 year gap. Bold. I enjoyed your characters and the story. I'll keep my eye out for more of your work.

Captivated by this story from start to a perfect finish. You created rich characters so easy to wrap oneself around and a wonderfully romantic, highly erotic and at times very poignant tale. Please keep writing, and folks will keep reading; anticipating more. Thanks for sharing your talent.

This was amazing! It absolutely deserves more than 5 stars. Please keep writing, i will be on the look out for more of your work and keep reading. Thank you for sharing it with us,you are a brilliant writer.

Well crafted story. Sometimes I love a happy ending.

I'm in agreement with everything servemist said. Really well, done.

5/5

J

This is one of the best stories I have read on here. Thank you!! 👏👏

This was well worth the wait! Loved the story!

I really enjoyed this story. I agree with some of the commenters before me, was as little shocked with the 7 year gap but it flowed well. For me the “moving to NY for Ro?” Really came out of left field since there really wasn’t any buildup to. To that point Ro really was never mentioned. I did enjoy how you took a different route with the proposal and wedding. I maybe a little dense but I didn’t get what the election had whether to get married or not. I loved the ending with what Ro was able to do to Sarah, proves they truly are soulmates. Looking forward to what you give us next.

Fantastic story. I am so glad you gave us the last chapter. Your writing is dynamic, and your character development is supreme. I used to only read the kinky, super erotic stories. Now, I am finding a little romantic eroticism even better. Keep up the great work. I cannot wait to see what your next story / stories will entail. Don't keep us waiting too long.

Loved it! Can't wait to see your next story.

Like most I wanted to see them back together and Married. We got that. Thank you Kate.

There's a saying, "It takes what it takes" and tho seven years was kind of a long time they both grew enough that their reunion was seamless and they quickly realized they loved each other even if it took a while to acknowledge it.

You constructed a very nice story with lots of moving parts. Family, friends and people who came and went. They fit in and we saw enough of them to either like them or some not so much. Sarah's parents are parents any gay child would be thankful for and Ro's would hit home for too many others. I know there are people like them and it's a good thing to not let them make you miserable. Ro got beyond all that but it was a struggle. I can't imagine putting some lame ass church ahead of your child's happiness. It was good to see the contrast between the two sets of parents and their daughters ending up married. Happy ending for sure. 5*.

looking forward to march well done a fan shayne

I was looking forward to how Sarah's family would react to her coming out. It felt like there were chapters missing in this, and then suddenly we got the epilogue. I loved the first 5 chapters, just a little disappointed in the rushed finish.

You totally nailed this. Awsome.

If you write anything else I would love to read it!

Thank you for spending the time writing this, I really enjoyed every moment loving your characters. I would encourage you to keep going if I could.

Fiona

Excellent read. Thank you for this most entertaining story. You are an amazing writer. Look forward to your next story.

This was just that story that takes you deeply inside the characters' personalities without beating you over the head with it. The plotting was good, the story great, the erotic scenes very well done, just a pleasure to read from beginning to end.

Marvelous

I have completely enjoyed this 6-part story & felt it was a 5*-Star Read from start to finish. True love perseveres such as Sar / Ro during the 7-years of being apart. Their marrying in the end was just "icing on the perfect cake", especially with Sar's parents displaying their unconditional love to both ladies.

Also, it is quite fitting to depart from Sar / Jo's story at this point, allowing their "Love To Flourish🎉" for a life time!!!

Eagerly anticipating your next story!

Really enjoyed your writing.

Love your writing.

Loved every moment of this. It rang with truth both in happiness and heartache. As a hopeless romantic I was floored with this tale. I cried for Ro and her parental situation I also I wept for Sarah to find her strength. Small details gave such life to your characters. Someone not knowing Irish step dancing shocked me it is awesome. Thank you for this amazing work and I will be back for more.

Wow. A wonderful story. A great read the whole way through. Cant wait to read the r essa st of your creations

That was amazing. I never thought they would get back together. You did such a great job of developing the characters and all the family dynamics. I loved this story and your writing style. I couldn’t stop reading and this kept me up way past my bedtime !! Thank you so much for this beautiful story.. ❤️❤️❤️

I thoroughly enjoyed this story. The roller coaster of emotions were the best, no wait the attention to detail was the best...it was all a perfect combination for a great read.

I’d love to tell you that I didn’t shed at tear, but I’d be lying...

Please continue contributing,

Thank you for sharing,

Beautiful story. Thank you for the "warm and fuzzy" happy ending. Please keep writing! I can't wait for your next one.

A great series with a great ending. I especially like how you took the lockdown and the current events and used them in your story instead of pretending it wasn’t happening like many other authors did.

Can’t wait to read the more.

Absolutely love this series. It quickly became my favorite.

I didn't expect the jump of 7 years but an excellent way to create the conclusion you did although by that time I thought Ro was simply a memory. Glad you managed to get them together and during the pandemic. Writing was excellent throughout and very few errors or typos, if any. There's nothing I can think of that would be an improvement in this story.

5 stars throughout

"Sarah was back in her dorm room that first night Ro came over to watch a movie." This sentence was so beautiful that can't be explained. Your story could steal a 100 out of 100 stars. I really wish you write more.

It occurred to me that the inclusion of political elements near the end could make some readers angry.

But then I realized that anyone who'd be upset by those elements wouldn't be reading this story. Their loss, fuck 'em.

Incredible storytelling! You had me on the verge of tears a couple time through this whole story. I am grateful that you wrote this for all of us to read. It is truly masterful writing. I look forward somewhat impatiently for other stories from you

What a searing, heart-wrenching, and heart-warming story of true love and it's trimumphs, a true romance masterpiece! Bravo, well done and I gave every addition 5 stars and thankfully I found it after you finished so I could crush the whole thing at once, wow, just wow!

Thanks for a great read, the end felt a bit rushed but over all I loved it

I would love to see another slow burning story from you. You are an incredible author. You are able to mix this story with the perfect amount of romance, sex, emotion (you had me in tears more than once), and story. VERY WELL DONE!

This is a fantastic story and you are brilliant writer Creating Kate and cannot wait for more stories as they are so loving and beautiful couple now married and happy as Sarah had an orgasm from her new wife which Sarah was unable too before, they where meant to be together forever than you Creating Kate. xxxx

What a gift to read this series of yours. I love the romance and the depth of emotion in the characters. I was completely captivated by the story and I couldn't stop reading until I got through all six parts.

You tore my heart out when Ro left for the cruise ship and then mended it all better than ever when they came together as was their destiny.

This was a wonderful story, tugging my emotions left and right, but thankfully a (mostly) happy ending. Hope to see more of these longer romance stories from you in the future, though I’m going to enjoy reading those shorter fairy tales too.

I thoroughly enjoyed this series. I loved these characters from their introduction and the easiness between them for the most part. I look forward to whatever you write in the future. I love a happy ending, thank you for bringing them back together.

Not the first time of reading, but it might as well have been as I didn't remember the ending. (Maybe I somehow missed this last part first time around.) So it was a real treat to read this first-rate story again. I thought this part portrayed Sarah and Jen's not forever relationship very well. And I also thought Sarah and Ro came across as more mature than their younger selves.

I really enjoyed this story. So glad everything worked out in the end.

Just re-read this over a year after the first time. It was a wonderful story then; seems even better this time! Thank you!

Best story I ever read on this Site, perfect Mixturen of love, sex, Trust and drama

re read it again enjoyed it as much now all i can give you is my thanks and well wishes i hope things are good you are happy and well be safe a fan shayne

One of the great long love series on Literotica. Impeccably characterized, smoothly plotted, and filled with love. How can you go wrong? Great work!

I don't usually add comments just for the sake of saying, "Good job," or something similar; other people do that perfectly well. Instead, I take providing helpful criticism to hard working writers seriously.

As an aside, this is my second reading, and looking at the other comments (and I read them all), quite a few others are reading the story again. I guess there couldn't be a more meaningful measure of its success than that.

The only meaningful critical comment I can make is that 7 year gap. You are far from the first to use such a gap to create an ending. And others have also used the "unavoidable breakup" as the trigger for the gap. And I leave this same piece of advice for each of them:

Beware of the "unavoidable breakup" ... without a lot of exposition covering the *reasons* for why neither character "lifted a finger" to get back in contact with each other over that gap. Not explaining to us (or even to yourself) throws their original love very much in doubt. If *you* had someone you loved like that, could you just say, "That hurt, but oh well," and walk away? I think approximately zero of us could—unless there was something wrong with the people or the love they shared OR there was a REAL reason they couldn't, something actually preventing them. No normal person walks away from love like that if they have a choice. And BOTH of these girls had a choice; either one could have done something, as far we we were told. But neither did. They were cyber-stalking each other for years ... and STILL neither one did anything.

Not believable—without an adequate explanation.

Needless to say, I also don't waste serious advice on writers I don't believe can benefit from it (whether they do or not is another story). And I think you're more than quite good (as others here do as well). I hope it is useful to you. Feel free to contact me if you want more (on this or any other story, before or after publication).

Good story, you guided us through Sarah’s fearful coming out remarkably well, almost overplaying it tbh, as commented on below, the “break up/make up” relies entirely on neither party wanting to fight for the relationship, until coincidence makes it happen, that’s a thin area in any plot imho.

Despite what the anon commenter thinks about readers not wanting politics dragged into this story, I genuinely don’t want ANY countries politics in a story unless it’s integral to that story and then only if it’s absolutely essential to it, only people who live and vote in a country actually care or understand their own nation’s politics, the rest of us either laugh at them or feel sorry for them, we certainly have no idea what a random election means in a story context a few years later with little to no background or explanation.

Those are my gripes about the series, but overall it’s been outstanding, well written and engaging, please keep writing CreativeKate, cheers, Ppfzz. 5⭐️

I just finished and my reward is I see that Red's Wolf posted 4 hours ago. It doesn't get much better than that.

Hi Kate. I have just reread this for the third time after reading Iowa. I loved it! 😍 it made me remember short stop which is a real favorite. You have real talent and I hope to read more from you.

Thank you

Fiona

What a kovely couple and I often get myself surprised because I get so emotionally engaged. Not just in their sex life but also in their relationship in it’s entirety. I would like to have more stories from you, Kate. Thanks!

This was a lovely series, thank you so much for writing it.

The feels went all the way to 11 with this story. The college scenes were achingly sweet when they first met. Initially I was furious with Sarah for the breakup, but alas I remember 21 year olds sometimes make decisions like … 21 year olds. I will admit crushing disappointment when Jen was introduced, but in retrospect her part feels necessary, and luckily neither party got seriously hurt. And there were enough threatening undertones (plague, politics, reconnecting) in the New York sequences to keep me worried until the very end.

Thanks for the gift of Ro and Sarah.

Brilliant! This is one of the best stories I have read! So well written, such great character development, a really good storyline with the emotion so well woven through. A delight to read!

So so good!

Thank you Kate!