What About Lissa

When he slowly spread my legs, I knew the looking was finished. And when his tongue touched my... my pussy, my back arched, and my mind went blank. When his fingers went inside me, and his tongue and lips were taking turns on my clit, I think I knew what paradise might be like. I'd never imagined how this might feel -- there was nothing in the world to use for comparison. I just knew that everything inside me felt like it was boiling, and my body was twisting and turning, my hips arching up into Nick's face over and over. And he seemed to love it.

I could feel my body beginning to react, and I knew what was coming. It felt better than anything that had ever happened to me... and I wasn't there yet. The fingers... the lips... the tongue, and I moaned loudly as my body began to spasm, every muscle clenching and relaxing, clenching and relaxing over and over, until, spent and helpless, I lay still. But Nick hadn't stopped.

"You want to come again? I love that sound and all that goes with it."

Again? Come twice? What was he talking about? Nothing like that had ever happened to me, but, in just a few minutes, it did, even more than the first one, if that was possible.

"More?" he asked when this set of spasms at last ended.

"No more," I muttered, struggling to open my eyes.

I got a wonderful kiss and realized, not only was I tasting Nick, I was tasting myself. It was, for me, mind-shattering that that could happen. Nick was moving, and I was trying to focus on what he was doing.

"These condoms," he said, holding up the little package, "still have six months before they expire."

"They expire?" I questioned, never having thought of that before.

"They're good for five years, and tomorrow I'll get a new supply." He tore open the package, and I watched, for the third time in my life, a man unroll a condom onto his erection. This one seemed very different, though. Suddenly he looked at me quite differently.

"Oh my god, I never asked if you were a virgin or even... "

"Have I acted like a virgin?" was all I could think to say.

"Um, well, you... not really," he finally said.

"I'm not, and if you thought you needed to ask permission, you were missing the signs."

"I've just never..."

As he was speaking, I spread my legs as wide as I could. He stopped talking and smiled again. I think he'd gotten my message.

I knew he had when I felt his cock pushing against my opening. All it would take was pushing a little harder since I was so wet I think I was dripping. I could see his hips move, and I felt myself parting, then the gentle stretching as he eased forward, his eyes locked with mine. I'd never felt so intimate, so possessed, so wanted, and so needed as I did at that very moment. When he bumped against my legs, the look changed ever so slightly. He seemed... satisfied, and I knew my face had to be mirroring that look.

As Nick's head lowered and our lips met, he began to move, slowly and easily at first, then, with tiny grunts escaping his throat, faster and faster. Instinctively I wrapped my legs around him, securing him in the place where I wanted him most. Faster and faster, he moved, his tongue probing, his face nearly vibrating from the louder and louder moans until... he stilled, and I was ready. The even louder groans and the feel of his cock spasming inside of me as he filled the condom was wonderful. With the last spasm, he collapsed on top of me, and I hugged him as tightly as I could.

In ten seconds, he was up on his elbows, looking at me again. He had only called me Lissa once during all of that, which was more than offset by the zillion times he called out Cayla. Plus, he didn't apologize, so I knew he wasn't even aware of it. It didn't matter at all, and I expected it might happen again in the future.

"Are you moving in right this very instant," he asked breathily. "Please," he added.

"I need to work that out with my parents, and I'm surprised that Mom didn't call right in the middle of this. It would fit her."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Not yet. Live-in caregivers aren't that rare, so that may be a help. Plus, Grammy said she'd run interference for me. Dad will go with whatever Mom says, and Grandmother Ellis is obviously my mom's mom. Maybe not that obvious, but she is. Knowing her, she's already started; I think she sensed my anxiousness and, well, my feelings for you."

"Wanna try?" he asked simply, and I had to smile at his eager pursuit of the goal. I wasn't sure what I would do if there was a problem. I hated to start this all by defying my parents, even though I was twenty-seven and should be able to make my own decisions. As they like to say, "the die had been cast" today, and it would be nearly impossible to change things now.

"Hi, honey," Grammy said, and I smiled that she had learned to check her screen before she answered.

"Hi, Grammy. Everything in order there?"

"More so than you're imagining right now."

A rather cryptic answer, and I wondered where she was headed.

"You're quiet," she continued when I didn't reply. "I talked with your mother... about you moving in with Nick and Lissa. I may have lied, but I hope not. I told her he'd had a prior caregiver live at the house. Did I lie?"

"No, you didn't. The lady I replaced lived here." I chuckled. "Of course, she was in her sixties."

"Oh, good. But I think you're clear to move. Is there anything I should know?"

I could visualize the smile on her face.

"Grammy, shame on you," I said, laughing. "But we did talk with Lissa, and she smiled the whole time."

"So, you feel good about things?"

"Grammy, I've never felt this good about anything."

"I think I catch your drift, Cayla, so I'll leave you be. Bye, honey."

"Bye, Grammy, and thanks."

I turned to Nick.

"Welcome home, Cayla."

As we hugged, I felt like I was home, even if this was a little more bizarre and complicated than most "coming homes" were. As I hugged this wonderful man, I wondered if the fifteen-year difference in our ages would have any effect on us, confident we could deal with it if it did.

I moved into the bedroom on Lissa's side of the house, and when Mom and Dad visited, everything looked in order. Of course, when we turned off the lights at night, I climbed into bed with Nick, content almost beyond belief.

*****

Everything seemed to have worked out well, and I was as happy and content as happy and content could be. My mother and father had accepted the move as very normal, but I knew that, eventually, the whole story would become apparent, and I would have to deal with that. I knew I could do that. I was nearly twenty-eight now, and being with Nick had given me a lot more self-confidence. He had taken me to one of the bank's special dinners and introduced me as Lissa's wonderful caregiver who deserved a night of fun occasionally. I felt comfortable there, was able to converse coherently with most of his friends and associates, and we hardly touched for the entire evening.

Life was all I could ask of it... except for one small thing -- I still had questions in my mind about the smiling lady in the other bedroom. I know we had talked with her about Nick and I being in love and wanting to be together, and she had smiled broadly when she heard that, but it was still one-sided talking, and I couldn't help but wonder what she would say if she had a chance.

I'd thought a lot about it and had devised a plan that I thought might help. It was complicated, not for her but for me, and I was mulling it over in my mind, working to get all the loose ends together. Finally, I felt I was ready to do it, knowing I'd stumble along a little, but counting on Lissa's patience, understanding, and the love I knew she had for me.

It was early afternoon when I went to her room, counting on her still being awake and listening to her music. When I appeared, the smile I received was warm, and I knew, full of love.

"Lissa, I love you, and Nick loves you. And, I'm sure you know that Nick and I love each other."

The big smile stayed firm on Lissa's face.

"We've talked to you, but you aren't able to talk to us, and I want to do something about that."

The smile dimmed a little, and I thought I could detect a hint of a questioning look. I was sure she was wondering what I had in mind.

"This is serious, at least for me, but we can treat it kind of like a game. I'm going to try to put words in your mouth if you can imagine that."

The smile returned, and I was sure the very perceptive Lissa had a substantial idea of what was about to happen.

"I'm going to put together some sentences and ideas, and if you agree that they could be your words, you smile. If not, give me the 'no face, okay?

Lissa had gotten so she'd put on the "no face" for an instant before she smiled so we'd be very aware that the answer was a new yes and not left over from the last yes. I received the no, followed quickly by the yes.

"Here we go then, and I'll say them like you were speaking. When Nick and you told me you loved each other, it made me unhappy."

A very certain no on that one. It was my turn to smile. Now to take a big chance.

"I am very happy that you've moved in with us and are making Nick happy in every way you can."

The no-look was there and wasn't changing. I cringed. Then a big smile appeared. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Lissa, were you teasing me?"

The no followed by an immediate yes. I couldn't believe how much I loved this lady and treasured her acceptance of me. Who else could tease about something like this?

"Lissa, I pledge to you here today that I will take care of you and of Nick as long as I'm alive."

I had another thought. I had spoken for Lissa, and it had worked. But, it was me that decided what to say and when to say it. Perhaps she wanted to say more, and I wasn't allowing it. I'd opened a new door today, and I had to be sure to keep it open.

"Is there anything else you'd like to say, Lissa?" She smiled. "Okay, I'm learning how to do this, so let's let one word be the subject of what you want. I'll start through the alphabet, and you stop me at the right letter."

Another smile and I began exploring a new world.

"A... B... C..." The smile appeared quickly.

What C-subject could she want to talk about? I thought for a few moments. There was a C-subject that I thought about often, and I wondered if our minds could be on the same track. A quick nibble on my lip.

"Children?" She smiled.

Oh, god, where was this going to go? Could I put that sentence together and speak it aloud? I squeezed the air out through my vocal cords.

"I want you and Nick to have some children."

My heart nearly burst. She was smiling. That smile answered more than one question I had. How that would happen was still an unanswered question, but at least I understood Lissa and how she felt about it.

In just thirty minutes, I'd learned more than I could have imagined, and the feelings of hope and the possibilities that lay before Nick and me... and Lissa were much less daunting now. Not that every question was answered -- far from it. I had a bolstered courage to face whatever lay ahead for the three of us. I couldn't wait to share with Nick.

*****

I had chosen a life for myself that I'd never imagined. Years ago, I thought I'd be happy living in the UP with Anders. When that went awry, I became intent on helping others, forgetting about myself and my needs and wants. I thought I was happy doing that.

I never imagined what effect answering a simple phone call at Grammy's cabin could have on my life. It didn't take long for those things that I'd been ignoring about myself to grab hold of me in the form of a forty-two-year-old man whom I'd grown to adore. Now, both parts of my life were being fulfilled.

I knew I'd be facing those questions from my mother and father about finding a man and giving them some grandchildren to love. If they had grandchildren... I'd have children. How could that come about? How could lots of normal things come about?

I'd chosen a rather bizarre "lifestyle" (I hated that word) for myself, one that could and probably would raise many questions with my friends and Nick's friends as well. He'd taken me to one of the bank dinners, but could he take me places in the future just as he'd do his wife? Guh. I would quickly go insane if I tried to solve every possible problem right now, and I was not going to allow all of those "possibilities" to ruin the contentment that swallowed me up when I was with Nick.

Nevertheless, I was intensely curious and anxious about the next few years of my life.

*****

My very sincere thanks to vanmyers86, PeytonMirabelle, Bebop3, and SisterJezabel for their beta reads and excellent suggestions, almost all of which I shamelessly accepted.