All Comments on 'What Does Mother Really Do?'

A little advice for future stories; try to come up with more logical ways for the story to move along. He got a letter of approval and immediately has to search the entire town (as well as a neighboring town) for her? Then he sees her in a motel and instantly knows she's a prostitute? Also they go from a completely non sexual conversation to her telling him to kiss her. Use more description of what the characters are feeling and thinking and build the asexual tension in the scene.

I did not like the stoey.

Next time proof read