All Comments on 'What Just Happened? Ch. 03'

It is good to have someone close help with the changes. The first time realizing you can pass is so exciting

can't wait for chapter 4. I hope Beth invites the pizza guy in so he can see what he looks like in those panties.

You write in a style that's uninteresting, to say the least. It's about as exciting as a bowl of tepid oatmeal. You can't even seem to handle conversations. Do you have a clue what "quotation marks" are for?

He said hello and I motioned to my neck trying to indicate I couldn't talk. You are very cute he said as he asked for the money.

I'll sum that up in three short words: "What. The. Fuck?"

I've read some horribly written garbage here, from people who had no business attempting to compose, let alone SUBMIT the abortion they called a "story". You, annie_00, are about as non-talented as they come. You're one of the people who make me wish I could actually DEDUCT stars from your rating. You deserve NEGATIVE stars for this piece of crap. Give it up. Don't bother writing again. You suck, get it? You suck dog balls. You suck badly enough to actually slow time. You just plain suck. You have no business attempting to write anything else, ever. Is that clear enough for you?

Give the writer a break. You are the type of "critic" that would have panned e.e. cummings for not using capitals.

Interesting to note that you are definitely in the minority in commenting on this author's three stories.

This is LitEROTICa, emphasis on the erotic. Not college ar even high school level courses in English composition.

Sit back and enjoy along with the rest of us.

Forget pony it makes him feel big when he puts others down. please continue the story . I enjoy the easy going story style. thank you Tom/Tami

By the time I decipher your script, the erotic magic is gone. So I gave this One star!

Reading this story was about as exciting as listening to a fly buzzing against a window pane. And the way you write, YOU are the fly. The buzzing is YOU droning on in a monotone. And the pane is the "pain" I felt from reading it. Don't think that having a few people scrawl some words of encouragement (with their own misspellings) is an endorsement for you to continue your illiterate "style" of writing.

And please note that THIS steaming pile is about as much a "style" of writing as fingerpainting in feces is art. On multiple levels. It doesn't qualify as a "style" so much as "never learned how to do it in the first place". That doesn't make this boring, wandering, completely-lacking-in-punctuation, monotonous DRIVEL a "style": YOU simply don't have a clue how to WRITE.

If you can't see that, and if these retards (I use that term "generously") think it's fine, then consider your audience.

And for the dumbass who made the "Duh, dis is, uh, uh, Lit-EROTICA..." I'm going to point out two important points: First, the first syllable of "Literotica" is "Lit". As in "Literature". And the rest of the word, "Erotica" is defined as "literature or art intended to arouse sexual desire."

I don't believe you can describe this train-wreck as "literature" or "art", and if it arouses sexual desire in you, I'm actually frightened to think what you might feel if you actually read something that WASN'T complete garbage.

Go read a comic book and stroke off to some cartoon boob.

another good part

Having read something as bad as this here for a long time!

Literotica is about erotic writing. But this is just not erotic at all. I've followed this series so far and it's not getting any better. Sorry Annie!

I have to agree with some of the comments here. The writing is just irritating. And the one-page story! So that you can claim another submission! This just kills it for me!

Great, once again!

The parts about your bouncing tits and the hair around your face are so...true!

Love how you get a lesson from step-sis...then her plan works perfectly as the doorbell rings! :)

While I do find the basic story interesting, I do agree with a few of the other comments about the writing. No, this isn't supposed to be award winning novelist writing, but an editor could help you make it easier to read, which would make it more enjoyable.

The story could be very enjoyable if it was written better. Keep at it, and continue telling this story.

But, before you submit it, read through it objectively, as if you were reading someone else's story. See how the structure is, and ask yourself how easy it would be for someone else to read. Ask yourself if it is written in a way that others will completely enjoy it.

As for the story itself, very good. Many of us CD's wish for that type of help, support and understanding in real life.

Contrary to the last commentator, I don't even find the story line interesting. It's just the familiar CD/Transsexual scenes. Annie, have a heart, don't push the envelope again unless you find a patient editor to do a complete overhaul on your feeble attempt!!

Why not try submitting audio stories. This is just the worst submission I've read here for a very long time!

I enjoyed your stories, regardless of any spelling or grammatical mistakes. As another reader said -- this is Literotica, not an English university course. Anyway, your story really turns me on because I have a hot step-sister and my fantasy has always been for her to catch me cross-dressing, help me dress even better, help me with make-up, and then make me her bitch. Maybe I'll "accidentally" one day let her read this story (somehow -- I've got to figure out a way to make it happen). Wish me luck.