What Makes The World Go Around

We found seats and held hands while we watched the game. She was as into it as I was, so any conversation we had was about what was happening on the court. Unfortunately, our boys were knocked out in the first round, and they were, of course, disappointed.

We exchanged appropriate commiserations with our boys, and they wanted to stay and watch the rest of the games. Angela suggested, "Let's let them hang out and we can go for a coffee or something."

"Sounds good to me."

I took her hand, handed the boys some money for the concessions stands, and walked out. I looked to the left and right, and asked, "Well, we could walk back to the coffee shop that was about three blocks that way, or we could drive somewhere."

She smiled, "Let's walk. It's unseasonably warm, and I'd like to take advantage of that."

We held hands along the way and conversation was free and easy. The more she talked, the more she opened up to me. I wasn't going to ask her about her dating history or God forbid the rape, but she brought the subject up unsolicited.

"Rafe, you should know that after the incident, I didn't date much," she began.

"It's all right, you don't have to talk about it," I answered.

She shook her head, "No, but I want to." She sipped her fancy, over-sweetened coffee and sighed. "I have a feeling Dan told you I was going to dump you after a few dates. No, wait," she said as I was going to deny it.

"I figured that since you work together, and he and Jill were so hooked into hoping that we worked out, he would have warned you."

"Ange, honey, he did, and I don't care about what happened in the past."

"You'll care about this—I stopped seeing the guys I dated when I couldn't bring myself to having sex with them. I freaked out every time."

I sipped my coffee and didn't change my expression. I had no idea what to say to that confession, dare I say warning, but I knew that I needed to let her get it off her chest.

"I was fine with oral sex, and I enjoyed it," she smiled at that, "but when they tried to...penetrate me, I had panic attacks. I've tried three times and all three were abysmal failures. I just felt you needed to know what you were getting into."

"Okay, and?" I asked, acting nonplussed by the conversation.

She frowned. "You're acting like it's no big deal, and I know it's just an act. You're going to want have sex at some point."

I nodded, "Yes, that would be nice. But you did say oral was okay, right? So why rush intercourse?"

She looked at me as if I had two heads.

"What do you mean?"

"Just what I said. I like to, um, please a woman with my mouth, so if you have no problem with returning the favor, then I'll have no issue with waiting to have sex. I'm not an eighteen-year-old kid who can't control his little brain."

"I'm not sure that could work. I mean, it's been eighteen years since the rape and I still haven't got over the hump, no pun intended."

"Are you seeing a therapist?" I asked.

"Not for a while—nothing she told me helped. I tried every suggestion, every plan, every anxiety pill, nothing worked."

"Okay, then we try time," I said and sipped my coffee. I was desperately trying to act nonchalant about the conversation and her issues, but it was getting hard.

"You're saying, I rushed into sex with the other guys?"

"It's possible. I'm no therapist, but out of everything you've told me, you've never mentioned that you waited until you were ready. It sounds to me like you were rushing into bed because you were afraid to lose the guy or knew that you inevitably would lose him."

A tear fell down her cheek and she excused herself to go to the rest room. I looked out the window at the melting snow and ice. The sun shining off of the ground made a beautiful scene.

I wondered if I could deal with her issues and not have sex. I guess I could say I wasn't having sex anyway, so it wasn't an issue for me. How long could that last? Could I go six months? A year?

I watched her walk towards me with a lithe grace. Her stride was long and confident, a complete contrast to the demons floating around her head. Her long legs encased in the yoga pants were a tantalizing sight and I wondered what her butt looked like at that moment. Her sweater covered it.

"I've decided to go with your plan," she said and hadn't sat.

"What plan?" I asked and it might go down in history as the dumbest question ever asked.

"We'll wait to have sex and see what happens."

I laughed, "Okay, I think there was another part to that plan, if I remember correctly."

She nodded and held out her hand. "The boys will be tied up at the arena for a couple of hours. I think you should show me your room."

I took her hand and let her lead the way.

***

We began kissing as the elevator doors closed. Her lips were soft and pillowy, and they tasted like coffee with too much hazelnut. They were heavenly.

It wasn't a rough passionate scene where she pushed me into the wall and ravished me, our kisses were tender, gentle.

I embraced her and lowered my hand to her tight butt and squeezed, earning me a moan. At least I knew my hands could explore her without upsetting her.

A flash of fear struck me to my core. Suddenly, I worried that anything I did to her could set her off and make her shut down and panic. I wondered how I was going to maneuver through that minefield without blowing us up before we had a chance to begin.

The doors opened and I decided to lead her, so I took her hand and said, "Ange, we don't have to do anything. We can sit on the couch and just get to know each other if you want."

"Are you worried that I'll freak out on you?"

"Honestly? Yes," I admitted.

She sighed, "I understand, but right now I'm not nervous or afraid. Like I said, I haven't had any issues with petting, and oral sex and you said you were willing to work through the issue I have with penetration. If you're worried about me dumping you today, please don't. I'm not going anywhere."

I kissed her cheek after opening the door to my room. "I like you a lot, Ange. Last week, I had no expectation that I'd find someone who would drag me out of my cocoon. In a short span, you've opened a new door to my heart and walked me into a new chamber of possibilities."

She smiled and took off her coat. "You're a big softie, aren't you? I knew there was more to you than just that gruff exterior."

She kissed me after we entered the room, and it was as if a switch were thrown. Years of pent-up desires rushed to the surface, and I was as hard as a rock for her.

She pushed me back towards the bed, with her tongue never leaving my mouth, until my legs hit, and I fell onto my ass.

She took her sweater off and said, "I'm going to get completely naked, and you can touch any part of my body you like."

I sat stunned with awe as she stripped and stood before me looking perfect. Her breasts were a nice handful, her mons was shaved into a landing strip, and her legs were tanned and toned. I was looking at a goddess.

I pulled her to me and kissed her stomach. I saw the goosebumps rise on her skin and turned her so I could see her heart-shaped butt. I couldn't resist it, I had to kiss it and I did just that.

She softly moaned as I kneaded her cheeks and licked and kissed anywhere and everywhere. Then she surprised me by bending forward and touching her toes, opening her glistening pussy to me.

I took the hint and swiped my tongue along her wet labia, lapping up her juices. Her moan of approval was music to my ears, and I moved to her engorged clit.

"Oh, Rafe," she shrieked and backed into my face. I thought she was losing her balance, so I stood and laid her onto the bed.

She spread her legs with a wicked grin, and I dove back into my delicious treat.

"Oh, yeah!" she sighed as I repeatedly flicked her button with my tongue. "Yeah, keep doing that."

A few minutes later, she shook with her first orgasm. Her mewling was too cute, and I saw her head thrown back in pleasure while she shook through her bliss.

I was lost in the moment and out of habit, I pressed a finger into her opening. She shrieked and pulled back to the head of the bed.

"Fuck! I'm sorry, Ange. It was force of habit. Please..."

The look of horror in her eyes faded and she let out a deep breath.

"It's okay, I warned you I was messed up."

She jumped to the floor to run to the bathroom, and I stopped her by pulling her into a hug.

"Don't go," I whispered and held her tightly.

"I'm sorry, Rafe. I told you I'm all kinds of fucked up. I mean, Jesus, it was just a finger. Fuck!"

"Don't do that to yourself. I'm not going anywhere as long as you'll have me. Come back to me."

She broke our embrace and stepped back. I'm sorry I ruined the mood. Can we say I owe you one and just..."

"We can stop here, and you owe me nothing. I enjoyed doing that for you."

She smiled, "You're a hell of a pussy eater, lover."

We kissed and she nuzzled into my neck.

"Can we have a snack or something?" she asked.

"Sure, but I already ate out."

She groaned, then we laughed, and she punched my shoulder.

*****

After that, we didn't have any alone time for a while. She continued to apologize and promise to make it up to me, and I continued to pretend it wasn't a big deal. It stuck in my mind for the two weeks after our trip, as we didn't get to see each other. Our schedules conflicted and I had to go on a business trip for one of the weeks.

I hoped that I would be strong enough to maintain my patience as she worked through her issue with penetrative sex.

She came over for dinner the night I returned. Our boys were spending the night at one of their teammate's houses, so we'd be alone, and I was looking forward to having some adult fun.

After dinner, we put on the new Marilyn Monroe biopic, and she snuggled into me on the couch.

Through most of the movie, I kneaded her breast and thumbed her nipple, over her blouse. I knew by her wiggling, she was well worked up, and then there was a scene where Marilyn gave Kennedy a blowjob.

She dropped to the floor, then forced my legs apart.

"I owe you one of those."

"You owe me nothing, but I'll take one."

We laughed and she unbuckled, then pulled down my slacks.

"You've got such a nice cock, Rafe."

She rubbed it on her cheek and lips, then swirled her tongue around the glans.

"God! Such a great one. I'm going to enjoy this as much as you," she moaned.

"I doubt that," I snickered.

She took me into her mouth, and I almost shot off from the immediate sensation of her deep suck. It had been years since I was inside a woman, and I felt like I wouldn't last a minute.

She bobbed and when she reached as far as she could towards my base, she lifted my balls and stuck her tongue out.

"Holy shit!" I gasped.

She popped off and said, "I've been watching porn for the last few weeks. I wanted to do well for you, so I was looking for ideas. You know I'm not very..."

"You're amazing," I said, cutting off her self-deprecation.

She smiled and licked me from base to tip, then swirled her tongue around the head of my iron-hard shaft. She only knicked me a few times with her teeth, but nothing that was bad enough to put me out of the mood.

She backed off to catch her breath and stroked me while cupping my balls.

"I want you to shoot for me, Baby. I want to taste your cum. Will you cum for me lover?"

She probably got that from one of her movies, but I didn't care. Her dirty talk sent me to the precipice.

"Oh, damn!" I groaned when she put me back into her mouth. She had me over the edge in no time, the slurping sounds coming from her efforts were unreal.

"I'm gonna...oh, shit!" I groaned.

She moaned while she swirled her tongue around the head and stroked my shaft. I tried to hold it just a moment longer, but lost control and shot spurt after spurt into her waiting mouth.

"Mm," she moaned as she swallowed everything I gave her.

"Oh, God. Sensitive," I warned, making her pop off, with a smile.

She climbed up next to me, and said, "I've never let anyone shoot into my mouth, let alone swallow it, before."

I kissed her forehead.

She added, "I wanted you to know how special I think you are."

To her surprise, I kissed her.

"I think you're pretty special too," I said, then pinched her erect nipple. "My turn."

I took her to the bedroom where I returned the favor then we repeated our efforts. I made sure I didn't blow it as I did in the hotel room.

*****

On our three-month anniversary, I took a chance. We'd been having great oral sex and were falling for each other. We were using the L word and began to have family meals together with our boys.

On a night we had my house to ourselves, I asked, "Do you use sex toys?"

She glared at me, "That's kind of personal, don't you think?"

I laughed, "Honey, I've had my tongue on every part of your body. I don't think there's anything personal left."

"Yes," she answered. "I have a vibrator."

"Come on," I said, with an admittedly silly grin, "I have an anniversary present for you."

I had a chair set up in front of my bed and handed her a box from the dresser.

"Sit on the bed and open it."

She sat while I sat in the chair. "Uh, Rafe?" she asked when she opened the box and saw the pinkish penis shaped vibrator.

"Do you recognize it?"

Her mouth dropped when she realized it was molded off of my penis. Let me tell you, making that was almost too difficult to be worth it. Trying to not make a mess, coupled with trying to stay hard while I was in the molding goop was an excruciating experience.

Thankfully, I had some experience making molds from a high school project, so it wasn't too bad once I was out of the goop.

She started laughing, "This is you, isn't it?"

I smiled and nodded as I leaned back in the chair.

She held it up and traced a finger over the veins on the top, "My God!" she whispered.

"I'd like to watch you use it," I said, making her gasp.

"Rafe, I don't know."

"Please?"

She looked afraid for a moment then smiled, "I will if I can watch you stroke yourself while I do it."

"Deal."

"That's what the chair is for, isn't it. For you to watch."

I shrugged, "That was the idea, yes."

"You're a dirty boy."

I took my shirt off then my pants. She watched the show as I lowered my boxer briefs, freeing my hard cock.

Immediately she rushed to my side and held the vibrator next to me for comparison.

She laughed, "I never knew such a thing existed."

"Me either," I said. "Google's a hell of a thing."

"Well?" she said, then nodded toward my hardness. "Start the show while I undress."

She gave me a nice striptease, slowly taking off each piece of clothing, dancing around my bed.

"Fuck!" I groaned and continued to stroke myself for her. She stepped in front of me to take her panties off and bent forward, giving me a perfect view of her pussy and ass in her thong as she lowered it seductively to the floor.

I rubbed some precum and held it out for her. She smiled, licked my finger clean, then held her panties to my face.

I inhaled her musky aroma and watched as she took my hand off myself, wrapped her panties around my shaft, then placed my hand back on.

"This is so hot," she said as she lay on the bed and rubbed her clit.

She swirled the head of her toy around her folds, gathering wetness, then eased it into her glistening pussy only slightly. She backed it out then went another inch deeper, repeating the process until she had it fully wrapped in her warmth.

"Oh, Baby! It feels so good. So much better than my other one."

I was getting close and slowed down my strokes. She noticed and said, "Cum for me baby. Shoot it all over your stomach."

She started driving it into herself faster, as she pinched her nipple with her free hand. "Oh, God, Baby. I'm so close. Cum with me. Cum for me, I want to see...oh, shit!"

I saw her tremble and shake and released my own load, coating my torso. "Fuck!" I groaned as the last spurts fired, and her body stopped trembling.

"Rafe, that was fucking amazing," she sighed as she slowly moved the toy me in and out. "Come here, Baby. I want to...Oh, God!"

I watched as she shuddered through a smaller orgasm. I walked over to her and lay beside her before I sucked her nipple into my mouth.

She pushed me back and left the vibrator going inside her, while she licked the cum off of my body.

"It's better hot," she smiled, then lay back and enjoyed the vibrations inside her.

I kissed her and while our tongues danced, I placed my hand on top of hers as she brought the toy forward and back. She tightened up for just a second, before relaxing and allowing my hand to rest on hers.

"Oh, Rafe, yes, Honey. Yes!" she cried out as another, seemingly larger, orgasm rippled through her. We kissed through it, as her breathing became ragged, and she jammed her tongue deeper.

She stopped moving her hand, and I took another chance and pressed mine forward and back a few times before pulling it out and turning it off.

She kissed my chest and said, "I know what you're doing."

"Hm?" I asked.

"Baby steps. You let me penetrate myself with a model of you. Then we did it together, but next you'll do it to me, then you'll try to put yourself inside me."

"So far, so good," I said and pulled her tighter to my body.

"When you touched my hand, I almost panicked."

"Yet you didn't. I'll take that as a good sign."

"Do you really think it will work?"

I said, "I have no idea, but I thought it would be fun to try."

"I don't think I can go again," she sighed.

"No, not tonight, Baby. One step at a time."

*****

We didn't use the vibrator every time we got together, but we continued to have oral sex together most times we were alone.

It was another month later, when we had the breakthrough that allowed me to use the toy on her without her hand there.

We had stepped up to me touching her body with it. I would rub the vibrating phallus on her nipples, her neck, her clit, even around her opening. I never dared to push it inside her, but she became used to me touching her with the toy.

I was rubbing the head around her folds when she took my hand and pushed it into her. I let her control my hand, as the toy did its work inside her. After a few moments, she lifted her hand to her nipple and pinched herself.

I continued to fuck her with the toy, watching her face for any sign of panic. None came and she moved her body with my hand.

"Fuck me, Rafe. Please fuck me."

I sucked her nipple into my mouth, and she began her crescendo.

"Yes, Baby. Fuck me with your hard cock. Fill me with your cum, Baby. Oh, God! Oh, fuck!"

She was pretending I was actually fucking her, and I knew it was a huge breakthrough. Her body shook, and she yelled, "Harder! Fuck me harder!"

I slammed the toy into her as her juices spilled out around the toy, making it too wet to grip. I tossed it to the side and put my fingers inside her to finish her off.

"Rafe!" she screamed as I thumbed her clit and fingered her. The sloshing sounds playing through the room, and coupled with her screams, created a sex symphony.

"Yes, yes, oh, God! Keep...ahh!"

She squirted and drenched my hand and the bedding. I had a flash of a memory of my wife doing the same thing as she had so many times when we were married.

Suddenly, I felt her hand on mine, and she pulled me out of her.

I sat back and waited for her to catch her breath, never taking my eyes away from hers.

"Rafe," she whispered. "You were inside me."

"I know, Baby. Are you okay?"

"I think so. What made you try that?"

"I was losing grip on the toy while you were cumming. I had to do something, so you didn't stop short."