What Makes The World Go Around

Something happens when you turn forty that no one tells you about; you start to lose people.

I suppose it was natural. One's parents were in their sixties, grandparents were in their eighties or nineties if they were lucky enough to make it, and the entertainers of our youth seemed to age at a faster clip than anyone.

For a man who recently turned forty, I'd already lost my father, grandparents, Jim Steinman and Meat Loaf, David Bowie, Glenn Frey, Norm MacDonald, and the list could go on.

Who I wasn't supposed to lose was my wife—and she died on my birthday from breast cancer when I was thirty-five.

*****

There I was on my fortieth birthday, lamenting about all I'd lost. I was starting the back nine of life and depression hit me like a ton of bricks. If it weren't for my 17-year-old son Bobby, I'd have given up long before then. My son was too much like his mother to let me wallow in any bit of self-pity. The kid was a dynamo and had enough activities going on to keep me busy enough to keep my mind right.

I was watching Bobby's basketball game that day and it never ceased to amaze me how good the kid was at every sport he tried. He was a natural talent, so I guess his mom's genes were dominant. I was good with that.

He was an athlete with a brain, and his confidence was endless. Not surprising, he was also a natural leader, again from his mother. He gave instructions on the court or field as if he were an assistant coach. There were times where he would talk about some game strategy, and it would be beyond my rudimentary understanding of the sport. He was amazing and would explain it in a way to not be obvious about dumbing it down for me.

I was a self-defined geek and I owned it. I wasn't into sports when I was a kid, I was into comics and fantasy games. So much so, I was stunned that my wife would have talked to me at all let alone marry me. She was a cheerleader in school and was one of the cool kids that laughed at guys like me. We went to different schools, so she never laughed at or teased me, but I'm sure she laughed at the kids like me at her school.

At his games, I avoided talking to most of the other parents, and I always sat alone at his games. They were well used to me at that point and left me alone for the most part. I think they thought I was a downer and didn't want me to spoil their time.

As I watched the game, the bleachers were only a quarter full, but someone sat within a few feet of me. I looked over and saw that it was Bobby's friend Taylor's mom. I had no idea what her name was and wouldn't have been able to guess with a gun pointed at me. I knew Taylor but I never met his parents.

I tried not to look over at her, but she was in my space and well...she was gorgeous. I glanced at her as she watched the game with a nervous look on her beautiful face. Her long brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and she wore no makeup. She looked like a taller version of Lacey Chabert.

My attention was taken back to the game when Bobby stole an inbound pass and made an easy layup. Everyone cheered and my present company smiled and offered me a high-five.

"Bobby's so good," she said smiling brightly.

"He is," I answered which left her to question why I was so short with her.

She looked like she wanted to say more, but my gruffness stopped her.

"Your name is Rafe, isn't it?" she asked a few minutes later, without looking over.

"Yes."

She turned and extended her hand, "I'm Angela."

I shook it and looked back at the game, but she wasn't deterred from whatever she wanted. She blurted out, "Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I need a date."

I laughed and looked at her to make sure she wasn't joking.

"And?" I shrugged.

She frowned, and said, "Are you an asshole or something? Why are you being such a jerk?"

I sighed and said, "I'm not trying to be a jerk or an asshole. I'm just not good company today."

"Why not?" she asked. "What's got you in such a crappy mood?"

"It's my birthday," I said without looking at her.

"Happy birthday," she chirped. "Why is that so bad? We all get older."

"My birthday is nothing to celebrate, believe me." I turned and asked, "Why do you want me to go out with you? You're pretty enough that anyone would jump at the chance. I'm not exactly in your league."

She shook her head, "Guys like you are exactly what women like me need. You're a great father, from what Bobby says. You're good looking, in a don't care what you look like kind of way. You're intelligent, from what Taylor tells me. You're even employed."

That made me laugh again, and she got frustrated.

She sighed, "The problem is that some of us don't realize that stuff is important until it's too late. Well, it's not too late for me, so I'm asking."

I looked back at the game and Taylor made a shot. I offered her the same high-five she gave me and said, "Why do you want our first date to be on Valentine's Day? It adds a lot of extra pressure."

She frowned, "I made a deal with a friend. I haven't dated in a while, and she keeps trying to set me up with her brother. I keep running out of excuses and she bet me that I wouldn't get my own date by tomorrow."

"So? What's the wager?"

"A date with her brother."

"Let me guess, if you have a date, you win dinner tomorrow paid for by her on a double date right? Sounds like a bad sitcom plot."

She nodded, "That's right. It's worse than a sitcom because it's my life."

"Again, why not date the guy once and never call him again?"

"He's a terrific guy. He's just not right for me and she refuses to accept it."

I was about to press it when she cut me off.

"I backed myself into a corner not wanting to hurt their feelings and lied about already having a date."

"I change my mind. This isn't like a bad sitcom. This is like a bad Hallmark movie," I sighed.

She laughed and said, "If it helps, we're going to a good steakhouse."

The buzzer sounded and the game was over. It took a few minutes for the kids to be ready to leave, so I said, "I don't know about tomorrow."

She frowned.

"Listen, Bobby and I are going to get some ice cream. How about you join us, and we can talk some more while the boys get brain freeze."

She smiled and damn! What a smile.

"Sounds good."

*****

It didn't matter how old he got, ice cream after a game was our thing, and we always had some. It was one of his mother's favorite parts of his childhood. Watching him slurp up a cone or sundae with his friends always put a smile on her face. I like to think of her while he has his treat.

We got our own table and let the boys talk about the game at their own spot. She made a mistake by asking, "Why are you in such a sour mood on your birthday?"

I rolled my eyes and tried not to snap at her. "Can you just leave it be, please? I don't want to talk about it." I wasn't doing well at not snapping.

She eyed me deeply and asked, "Okay. How about you tell me what happened with Bobby's mom?"

I stood and said, "Okay, Bobby, it's time to take off. We'll take it to go, we've got to get home and get your homework done."

"Come on, Dad! I don't have any homework. Can't we..."

"No. It's a school night, let's go."

I walked to the door and left Angela wondering what had happened. She just stared in shock as we left.

"That was pretty rough, Dad. Things didn't go well with her?" Bobby asked pointedly.

"It's not your concern, Son."

"She asks about you a lot. I can tell she likes you."

I groaned, "She never asked you about your mom?"

"She did once. She asked why she never sees her, and I told her that she's been gone for a few years."

I shook my head. "You told her she was gone? Not that she passed away?"

"I always say it like that. When I tell people she died, they get all...I don't know. They just get different. I don't like to talk about it with people."

I nodded. I understood that completely. I didn't like to talk about it either, only that night, it bit us in the butt by creating an awkward situation with a beautiful woman who was strangely interested in me.

*****

We were home for fifteen minutes when my cell rang. I assumed it was her, as it wasn't a number I had stored.

"Yes," I answered too gruffly and regretted it. I had great looking woman throwing herself at my mercy for a date and I treated her like a leper. I needed to relax, and I decided I'd go on the date.

"I'm not sure what happened at the ice cream shop, Rafe. Whatever I said to upset you, I'm sorry."

"Angela, it's not your fault. Look, five years ago, my wife died on my birthday. So, that answers a couple of the questions I didn't want to talk about. I'm sorry too, I overreacted. If you can put up with me, I'll be your fake date tomorrow."

"I'm so sorry, Rafe. I didn't know your wife passed away. I shouldn't have asked that kind of question when we hardly know each other."

"Well, it's already in the past and I feel bad about running off like that. I'm sorry too. Like I said, I'm not in the best of moods today."

"It's understandable. I'll text you my address and you can pick me up at six, okay?"

"Sounds good."

"Oh! Rafe?"

"Yeah?"

"It's not a fake date."

She ended the call before I could respond. I wondered what I got myself into.

*****

"Whoa, Dad! What are you all dressed up for?" Bobby asked with a smirk as I walked into his room to borrow some cologne.

"I'm going out to dinner with Angela, but you already knew that."

"Yeah. I figured something was up when she asked Taylor to get your number from me."

I frowned, "Please don't give my number out."

He shook his head. "Request denied. When the hottest MILF in town asks me for your number, she's getting it whether you want to get laid or not."

"Bobby!"

"Oh, stop! Mom's been gone for five years, Dad. It's time to move on and you know it. Ms. Masters is smoking hot and for some insane reason she likes you. Wine her, dine her..."

"Bobby..."

"...and kiss her on the cheek chastely, but you know you need to get back in the game."

"You grew up too fast, Son," I sighed.

"Nah. You're just getting old before your time. You don't even have gray hair yet and you're acting like your life is over."

I looked in his mirror and I did look okay for a middle-aged man.

"Use the Eros. She'll love it," he said pointing at his cologne collection.

I grabbed the blue bottle and sprayed some across my body.

"Thanks. No date tonight?"

"I'm seeing Samantha after she gets off work."

"No girls here when I'm not home, Bobby."

"Of course not, Dad." His cheeky grin said otherwise.

"Good. Then I won't have to check the security cameras later to see who stopped by."

He frowned and I walked out laughing to myself.

*****

I couldn't believe I was going out on a date, let alone going out on Valentine's Day. I did my best all day to psyche myself up for the evening, but all that did was make me nervous. I hadn't been on a date since my wife was my girlfriend. Once you're married, dates aren't really dating anymore. They are just going out.

When I would go out with my wife, there was no pressure, the comfort level was long since built. There was no worrying about end of the date etiquette; getting into bed together at the end of the night was a given.

The date with Angela was new territory, and I didn't like it one bit.

I pulled into her driveway and checked my hair once more before I walked to her door. I shook my head at myself and said, "Get it together, Rafe." Then there was a knock on the window and the door opened.

"Hey, Rafe, I'm glad you didn't chicken out."

"Uh, yeah, I was gonna meet you at your door."

She laughed, "We're not kids anymore. You don't have to meet my parents."

I smiled. "Where to?"

"Chicago Prime on..."

"Meacham. I know it." I groaned. I knew it because it was my wife's favorite restaurant.

"No, that's the Italian restaurant. Chicago Prime Steakhouse is on Algonquin." She must've noticed the look of relief on my face as she touched my hand and said, "You're with me tonight, Rafe. Stay in the present."

I looked over and faked a smile.

She laughed and said, "You can fake a smile better than that, Big Guy."

"So, what happened to Taylor's dad?"

"Touché. I'll be nicer, okay?"

"Yep," I said. "Oh! The flowers are for you." I pointed to the back seat.

"Oh! You didn't have to do that. I should've waited for you to come to the door then. It's just that you looked so nervous, I figured I'd make it a little easier on you." She laughed.

"Thanks, I guess."

"Look, Rafe. This is going to be a laid back and fun night. My friend and her husband are good people, and they like to have a good time. Just relax, and you'll have a good time too. There's no pressure here."

"I don't know, Angela. You've already told me you were interested in me as a prospective mate. I already..."

She laughed, "Who talks like that? 'Prospective mate?' Oh, I like you more and more each time we speak."

I pulled into the parking lot and dropped her off by the door. I walked through the cold parking lot and saw Dan Nelson, one of my coworkers, walking the same way.

"Hey, Rafe. I never would have expected to see you out on Valentine's Day."

I laughed. "You wouldn't believe the circumstances if I told you."

We got to the door and Angela was talking to Dan's wife Jill.

"There he is now with Dan," Angela said pointing me out.

"Holy shit! Your date is Rafe Morris?" Jill shrieked.

"Guilty as charged," I said walking up to Jill. I gave her a hug and asked. "How are you, Jill?"

"Curious. Very curious."

I didn't know how to respond to that, and Angela said, "Our table is ready."

Stupidly, I asked, "Okay, where are your friends?"

"You apparently already know them. They're Dan and Jill."

"Wow! What a small world," I said. I was thinking how lucky I got. I knew Dan very well from work and had been to many barbecues at his home and went out to dinner with them a few times a year.

We were taken to our table, and I said, "Hey, I think you paid the last time we had dinner. This one's on me."

"No, Rafe. Angela won the bet. You can buy the next one," Dan challenged.

"Nope, I'm not taking no for an answer. Now that that's settled, I'll order the wine for the table."

Jill laughed, "You only offered to pay so you could pick the wine. I'm on to your game."

I shrugged my shoulders and ordered a bottle of wine that I liked. I knew Dan had no taste at all and couldn't tell the difference between Cabernet Sauvignon and Chardonnay. Jill liked wine, but she liked to keep to the cheaper selections. They had young children and were more budget conscious. I could afford it, so I splurged.

"I have to say, Angela," Jill started, "if I would've known you knew Rafe, I'd have been trying to get you two together all this time. Forget my brother."

Dan groaned and changed the subject, "Rafe, we got the bugs out of the new security program just before I left the office today."

"Oh, fantastic. I'll be able to do the demo during the presentation on Friday. That's going to make all the difference in the world."

"Hey!" Jill shrieked. "No shop talk, you two. It's Valentine's Day."

Angela laughed.

"It's no joke," Jill continued. "When these guys get together, it's work, work, work."

I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Angela, why haven't I seen you at any of their barbecues?"

Dan said, "She always comes, Rafe. It's just a little later on. Usually, you've already turned into a pumpkin and left."

I nodded and felt bad suddenly. I always thought I stayed as long as socially required.

"I work Saturdays. I manage a wine shop," Angela answered.

"Oh? We should have let you order the wine," I said a bit embarrassed.

"No, you did great. The Caymus Cab is one of my favorites."

I hoped she wasn't saying that to be nice, but I knew it was a good wine.

"That must be interesting work," I added. "Do you get to taste a lot of different wines?"

"Yeah. Erica, who owns the shop, lets me add any new wines I want. The salespeople will offer me samples in order to get me to buy."

The waiter came to take our order and Angela surprised me by ordering the cowboy cut ribeye. It was a huge 24 oz. steak with an oversized bone hanging off the plate. She shattered all my preconceived notions, and it was different than I was used to. My wife always ordered the petite filet mignon and that's what Jill ordered as well. Dan and I ordered the strip steak with au poivre peppercorn sauce.

She noticed my surprise at her order and smiled, "I'm a steak and potatoes girl, Rafe. No salad on a first date for me."

I offered her a toast and said, "To good steaks."

We all clinked our glasses and Dan asked, "So how did you guys meet?"

"Our boys play sports together," I said.

Angela nodded and said, "I had to practically drag him here kicking and screaming. He put up a fight."

Jill shook her head and Dan laughed.

"Hey!" I moaned. "I'm here, aren't I?"

"Yes you are," Jill said, winking at Angela.

"And in a suit." They all laughed.

After dinner, Dan suggested we come to their house for digestif's. Before I could come up with a reason not to go, Angela accepted.

Jill added, "Rafe, I made that éclair cake you like so much."

I smiled, "Well, in that case, let's go."

*****

I stood in front of Jill and Dan's fireplace and looked at their wedding picture. Angela was helping Jill with the cake, and Dan was getting us drinks.

"Thinking about weddings, Buddy?" he asked as he handed me a glass of wine.

I laughed, "Not future ones. Thanks for the wine."

He nodded and said, "What do you think of Angela? We love her to death and have been trying to set her up for years."

I looked towards the kitchen where we heard the ladies laughing, and said, "I like her. I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship or anything. My wife just died."

His eyebrow rose and I knew it sounded stupid as soon as I said it.

"Five years is plenty of time, Rafe. Give her a chance. We already know she likes you."

"How's that?" I asked.

He laughed, "She agreed to come here after dinner."

"Of course. You guys had this all worked out."

He shrugged his shoulders and said, "I'm just glad it's you. She deserves a good guy."

"Quit talking about us, here we come," Jill sang as they walked in the room. The cake looked great, and I already knew from past occasions it tasted amazing.

"What makes you think we were talking about you?" Dan asked smirking.

"Because I know my husband."

He shook his head, and she handed me a plate.

While we at the delicious cake, I sat back and observed the conversation. Angela was a stunning woman whose laugh was infectious. I never understood the cliché until seeing her—her smile reached her eyes.

I found myself attracted to her and I wondered why someone so beautiful would want a lesser like me. I guess as far as having my shit together, I was okay. I had a stable, well-earning job, a nice house in a nice neighborhood, I dressed well, okay, that was only because I still fit into the clothes that my departed wife picked out. She used to call my clothes upper-class golf course wear.

I hated suits and ties. I wore polo style shirts and slacks at the office which went along with the khaki shorts I wore on weekends. I had sweater vests and slip-on loafers, and I didn't own a single pair of jeans; for which my son picked on me endlessly.

I wore glasses and as I said, I considered myself a geek. My hair was neatly combed, but that was only because my wife made me use gel and wear it short and I never broke the habit. I suppose a comparison for me would have been Benedict Cumberbatch, but my wife used to tell me that he was gorgeous, so what did I know?

I watched Dan and Jill holding hands and laughing with the same tone. I heard that some people tended to have the same mannerisms as their partner after a while, and it was certainly true for them. They were madly in love, and I was jealous of them. I had that once.