All Comments on 'What Now Ch. 03'

Okay I’m only a couple of minutes into this chapter but I really have to pull you up on a bad habit of yours. You constantly change between past and present tense and it’s so jarring, you’ve done it since chapter one but this one just seemed so much worse.

I love your writing I think you are extremely talented and think this story is absolutely wonderful but please for the love of god stick to one tense. Some people may not notice but I think you’d really benefit from an editor. It would make reading your stories more enjoyable.

I like where this is going!!!

Levi did Alex wrong. He left the morning after - without communicating. He stayed away for a week with little more than ghosting - no explanations, nothing. Alex had the right to be worried, concerned, and angry. Levi did not handle that situation well at all.

But when Levi returned, confused and upset, scared and anxious about his past with Ethan and how it felt similar to the now with Alex, he needed comfort, respect and assurance.

I’m sure the dominance stuff was intended to be hot. But it hit really wrong. At a time when Levi was his most vulnerable and fearful, he was roughly tossed around, his face pressed into the bed, ass up naked and vulnerable, restrained and bound, spanked harshly and barked at, and then taken dominantly. It made Alex seem out of sync with Levi’s fears and mindset. Taking away control and security at the exact time Levi needed that. I wish their reunion sex had been more about holding Levi up and giving him control and power instead of the opposite. This bondage stuff could have been introduced at a different time IMO.

Also now that the topic of exclusivity has been discussed and agreed to, I really hope these two can keep their promises and be enough for each other - expanding what each can do and be for the other so they don’t need to be with others. Communicate and be honest and embrace their love and feelings for just them as a couple. Man-whoring at this point in their relationship is a sure way to destroy and lose each other!

This is amazing! I cannot wait to see where you take this.

I’m almost afraid of the final chapter. My bitter 🖤 isn’t a fan of HEAs, but I would be 💔 if they don’t end up together.

In a perfect world, you’d write the final chapter from Alex’s perspective. I think this is a great stopping point in the Alex/Levi story. Youve left us with a perfect juxtaposition of hope and uncertainty. But it’s interesting to see what’s going on in Alex’s head: why is he whoring it up? How long has he been in love with Levi? People don’t jump from “hoe to housewife” overnight or without some major internal drama.

I think you already know what he was thinking. I’d love it if you’d share with us!🥰

Thanks for the comments! I will definitely try to keep your recommendations in mind and make sure the last chapter has been more proofread than this one! I am even shaking my head in embarrassment at some of the confusing sentences and grammar issues that were missed...ugh! Thank you for the love and appreciation. I am working on chapter 4 and another story that will not leave my head. More to follow, thanks!

I'm glad to read that you're aware of the grammar and punctuation issues so far. That's really my only criticism with your story. Otherwise, I'm enthralled with these guys and their self-discovery.

I do kind of wish you'd include the reactions of Alex's straight buds to the news of him fucking his roommate. It does seem you're going in the direction of writing from Alex's perspective, and I do hope to learn more about him. Providing more insight into this guy would be great. You might want to stick to a first-person narrative, though, as you've done with Levi.

So far this is pretty much Levi's story, while I'm sure Alex is at least as interesting, if not more so. I don't doubt you have the ability to make him an interesting character, since you've demonstrated your ability with Levi. You definitely have creative writing talent, and I hope to read much more!

I can’t wait to read more about Alex and Levi!!!!

I hope you are well and continue this story when you are able. I’m dying to know what happens next with these two.

you said this should be a four part series. I've been waiting months for it. Please write it. One more chapter will rap it up well.

I’ve really enjoyed this story. I hope you’ll give us part 4!

Hopefully you'll give us the last chapter soon??

Love this story. Cannot wait for the final chapter. I really hope we get a chapter 4 finale.

Next chapter soon!! Pretty please!!

I just read the three chapters that have been posted so far, today. I loved this story! Please don't leave us hanging any longer. I for one need a happy conclusion! I am not sure the author can complete this story satisfactory in just one more chapter, unless it is much longer than the first 3. This story is so good... Please finish with at least the 4th promised ending chapter! 10 months is a long time to wait to see how and if they can make this relationship work and give the love to each other that they both seem to seriously want and need!

Just one slight criticism... I thought Alex overly dominant behavior was way out of place at a critical time they both should have offered love and comfort! Levi was so afraid and vulnerable after confessing his deep hurt with Ethan that offering him assurance and comfort would have created a much better outcome. Instead I think it fueled his insecurities that Alex would not hurt him as Ethan had done!

These two hot best friends and now lovers could absolutely be enough for each other if they will commit totally to only each other! I doubt either could handle even a slight betrayal from the other! They both have the fear of loosing each other, if either stray now and cannot control the whoring sexual urges they will destroy everything they could have together including the awesome friendship! I believe what they already have is amazing but very fragile! I guess we will see, maybe... hopefully... if the story is ever completed if Levi can be enough for Alex to loose his womanizing whoring ways, and Levi can be content with loosing his preference to top!

Quite the cliffhanger! Found your story today and couldn’t put it down. A great balance of ‘Lit’ and ‘Erotica’ in my humble opinion. If there’s never a Ch. 04 it will not diminish how much I’ve enjoyed your words, your story. Heading back to read your poetry next …

Come on babe!!! Ch. 4 pretty please. I'm begging😍 I love this one!!!! I really want Alex and Levi to swap roles though......that'd be interesting 😁.