What the F

Angela, if with them, would play with hers until they saw the erections when they would roast them. Lorraine would just blush. "Bad boys, naughty boys," were Carla's smiling words.

It turned out that Carla was gay. Angela teased Donny about making him watch Carla and her so he would learn a few tricks. They would fuck like rabbits when Angela went into detail on how they would do it. She thought, they'd tie him up first so he wouldn't interfere. He thought that wasn't fair as he could fuck Angela as she was eating Carla out. Carla could eat out her cream pie. If she liked the taste maybe she'd want some draft for herself. Just the thought, had him hard again in minutes.

Both Gordon and Donny agreed, Carla was wasted on other women!

The next morning Gordon went for his normal run. Donny called Angela and told her he'd be home by 5pm. Angela was concerned about Gordon, especially as he was so determined to divorce Lorraine. He loved her so much, he only felt the anger, the hate at the moment, he needed to take some time to discover his true feelings. Not rush blindly into a corner and leave himself with few options which work for him.

Gordon still hadn't moved any further in understanding what had happened. He was beginning to feel paranoid, was he being watched, as he'd no sooner sat down with a coffee after his run and shower than his mother phoned.

Gordon answered abruptly, "Yes!"

His mum gasped, "Gordon, that is no way to speak to your mother."

"Did your husband not tell you I was an orphan? Parents don't condone their offspring fucking another offspring's wife. You chose Bobby. Live with it."

"Gordon, I'm sorry you are so upset but you can get over this if you just give her a chance to explain. They deny fucking each other. Lorraine loves you, you love her. Give her a chance to tell you everything. You may change your mind."

"Fucking around was always going to finish us. Fucking him guaranteed it. I don't know what I did to deserve how you treated me but I don't need people like you in my life."

He rang off. He was in tears. Donny hugged him, "Let it out, let your feelings go. Fuck the manly stiff upper lip. Let your grief out."

Gordon sobbed for half an hour.

When he recovered, he felt drained. "Donny, why are they all on Lorraine's side? I don't get it. From what my dad said years ago, he would have ditched mum if she did this, so why are they for keeping us together?"

Donny looked grave, "I don't know. They just say speak with Lorraine. Angela says you need to stop a quick divorce until you have weighed all your options. The love you had is full of hate. With the anger, you may make the wrong decision so take some time to work on what's best for you.

"She's normally very good with people advice. I would take it. A week or two won't make much difference in the scheme of things but clear your mind so you achieve what you want."

"Okay, I'll try and diffuse the anger and hate but I can't see any possibility of us being together."

Donny set off home late afternoon, leaving Gordon working through his life and how he was going to change it.

As he relaxed with a beer, his phone went. It was Lorraine.

He decided to answer it, "What the fuck do you want? I told you we're done. You can fuck Bobby as much as you like."

Lorraine gasped, "Gordon, I love you. We can mend our marriage. I need to explain everything to you. It's not as you see it."

Gordon interrupted, "When is David on the agenda? Who else? I can't live with any of those thoughts. You want to be allowed to fuck who you want, just sign the divorce papers and you'll be able to without any guilt, if you ever had any."

Lorraine said firmly, "Gordon your making assumptions which are all wrong. Please let me come to the cabin and explain everything. I haven't fucked Bobby or anyone. I should have told you what I was doing. Please, I'm begging you this doesn't have to end us.

"If you push for a divorce, I'll ask for counselling so I can tell you everything."

Gordon laughed, "Okay Fridays were keep it in the family, who were you fucking on Tuesday? Seems the last six-eight weeks, you've been covered by Betty. Does she know who?"

"Gordon, I met someone on Tuesdays but not for sex. I need to explain face to face, please! I'm begging you. I love you, I want us to be together. I'll sleep in the guest room if you don't want to sleep with me.

"I know I've caused your anger. You're normally so loving, so caring, so supportive please be that Gordon. Allow me to explain. If I can tell you, I'm sure you'll be less angry. You've every right to be mad at me, I'm mad at myself. I was told to tell you. I should have. You may be embarrassed you jumped to your conclusion when I tell you. We can start to rebuild our lives. I want to have a better marriage with you, do things with you. We can't be that unless you let me explain."

"Lorraine, any affair would be damaging beyond belief but my former brother, for fuck's sake. He always got what he wanted and now he's had you. My former parents support you both. I'm innocent yet I'm the one fucked over.

"I need space to calm down, to decide what I want. I'll call you when or if I need to speak with you. I'll call at the house while you're at work as I need a few things. Don't even think of being there.

"I don't know if I can even be sociable to you right now. If I see Bobby, he'll need an expert to put him back together.

"Why did you involve Betty? Billy and she were looking to start a family. Now Billy is worried about whose kids she wanted. Everybody is so fucked up because Bobby wanted you."

"Gordon, I have never fucked Bobby. He was helping me. Betty was supporting me but she doesn't know what I was doing. I need to see you to explain."

"Goodnight Lorraine."

He rang off astonished she was still trying to lie her way out of it. His parents, Melissa may be gullible but he wasn't!

His phone went. It was a text from Lorraine, "I haven't fucked anyone other than you. I should have told you what I was doing but I was embarrassed as I believed I'd fail and make our marriage worse. Please let me explain. Betty wasn't fucking anyone, she was supporting me. Tell Billy. They don't deserve to be hurting because of me."

He deleted it.

He was early to work to make sure he had time to remove all his personal items. He spoke with HR and if David paid all his overtime hours he would leave at noon on the Tuesday. If he didn't pay up, he could leave at 11am and be paid for ten weeks. Either way he was out.

When David came in, he was almost laughing at him. Gordon knew he was wanting to tell him something. What did he know about how the weekend had gone? What had Bobby said?

David came up to him, "Well, did you have a loving weekend with your wife?"

Gordon shook his head, "No she was quite upset at you trying to fuck her. She said Bobby had to tell you to behave. Mind you, she wouldn't have felt your little dick."

"You little cuckold shit. She deserves a man not a wimp like you."

Gordon laughed, "There's only one man here and it's not you. You want to try anything? I'm sure I'll enjoy beating the crap out of you and making sure your insignificant equipment is inoperable for the foreseeable future."

An angry David took a step towards him with his fist clenched. Gordon just punched him in the gut, knocking all the wind out of him. "Just for the record, that's my resignation, arsehole."

David's wife had just come in. Her family owned the business. She worked in the office.

"What the fuck?"

Gordon looked at her, "Sorry Dawn but David has been trying to fuck Lorraine. He won't take no for an answer. If he comes back minus his little package, you'll know she's done what she threatened, cut his balls off."

She angerly turned to David, "I warned you, you bastard. No more chances! Get the fuck out of here. Get your gear from the house and fuck off."

She turned to Gordon, "I saw he'd been needling you but I didn't think things had gotten so bad you'd leave. It's my family's company, not his, so he'll be gone. Please consider staying. I know how good you are."

"Dawn, my mind is pretty clear. I'm probably going to move away. There are other things involving Bobby so staying around isn't on my mind."

"Gordon, whatever has happened, don't let it change you. You're too nice a person at times but you have so much knowledge and you can do so much more. I thought David was picking on you because I suggested you become deputy to him to learn the ropes of management before taking over. He was always jealous of your abilities. I knew he liked Lorraine but never thought he would try anything on. She isn't the first one unfortunately. He only had the job because of our marriage. I should have just kept him as a salesman as he's a bloody good one.

"Take a few days away. Have a think and come back in and speak with me. Consider taking over from him. He won't be back."

I nodded. Dawn was far too nice for that arsehole.

I headed to my former home and picked up more clothes, my professional qualifications and retrieved my personal documents from our computer so I could rehash my CV. Being one of the bosses at the firm was a step up I was sure I could handle but did I want to stay around?

I had a few calls from friends wanting to know how I was and offering their assistance. It was reassuring that they cared about me. What was worse though was that Lorraine and I splitting up was known. Did they know the reason? If they did, Bobby's health would be problematic.

Neither my erstwhile parents nor soon to be ex-wife called. Maybe they had received the message and accepted it.

I spent the time looking at job recruitment in my field. There were a few good opportunities but I would need to move. The housing situation in these cities wasn't good. The house prices overtook any increase in salary by a long way. Rents were even higher. I'd need to consider Dawn's offer.

If I was to consider it, Lorraine and I would need a long chat about everything. The last thing I wanted was to hear her lie to me again.

I went to sleep no further forward.

The next day following my run, I started making a list. I know, they're a cop out but I needed to find a balance and for me, lists help.

I concentrated on work. I checked equivalent posts for salaries, experience and qualifications needed. I reviewed how we worked and how I would change it and why. I'd need to convince Dawn any changes would make the workplace better for the employees and the bottom line. It took four hours but I had a fairly good handle on how to impress at the formal interview.

I called her and made an appointment for the following day to discuss options. She seemed glad I had called.

If I stayed, I would need a new place to stay. The cabin was fine as a retreat to relax but the commute was poor and facilities were basic. I laughed as I thought how Lorraine would not like being relegated to the guest room. She liked the master bedroom and ensuite facilities. It was probably the first time, I thought about her without anger since that Friday night.

The interview went well until she asked how Lorraine felt about me working here after what David had done. I started crying. She was shocked. I had to explain what had been going on. I had still to speak with Lorraine about it but I didn't know what to do. I was sure she would have concocted a plausible story but how she was dressed didn't lie.

Dawn hugged me, "Gordon, you will need to speak. You have questions but no answers. You probably won't like the answers but you need them to move on. What the outcome is, is not yet written. Your parents seem to think you can overcome this. Does that mean it's not what you think? Here we deal in facts, sometimes we get it wrong as the facts we thought were right turn out to be wrong.

"Maybe Lorraine can show you how you were mistaken. For that, you need to speak."

I nodded, "I know but I'm so angry, if we talked, I wouldn't listen, take what she says in. I need space to try and understand my feelings. Every time I think about it, I ask myself what I did that she felt she had to do that."

Dawn said sadly, "Perhaps you didn't do anything, it's all on Lorraine. Her mind made connections which weren't there. Maybe you need a counsellor, a referee, to keep focus on the problem and not let anger get in the way. A mutual friend you both trust who won't speak about it outside of the meeting. A neutral venue. The longer you go without speaking, the harder it may become. Your fears will grow.

"I wish it was simple but it's not going to be easy."

I returned to the cabin. There weren't many options for living in the town. I could see the advantage of returning home but, if I did, Lorraine would be in the guest room.

As my mind wandered, I thought I should contact Lorraine and ask to meet on Friday night. That would bugger up, date night! Should I spy on her and get definitive proof?

I was saved further thoughts as Donny called to make sure I was okay. We discussed that and how to proceed. Angela piped up, "You have to speak to her sometime, for your own sanity. You'll be blaming yourself. You always do. Don't accept bullshit. Let her speak and make your mind up about where to go."

I replied, "I know. She offered to stay in the guest room if I returned home. I do need to move back to town but I'm not sure that can work. We'd need to have talked before so I have an idea of where we are going. I can't see us being together."

Donny had laughed when I explained David's sacking. Donny said, "Gordon, you'd be mental not to take that job. You need to speak to Lorraine very soon. Take care."

Gordon sat watching the sky drift by but he could find no resolution. He was startled from his daydreaming when he heard the doorbell go. It was four o'clock. He hoped it wasn't his parents or Lorraine.

It wasn't, it was Melissa.

She looked nervous, "Can I come in, please? I won't outstay my welcome but you need to know a little more before you do something drastic you may regret."

"Come in," I said sadly, "Do you want anything, drink?"

"No, I'm fine. Gordon I can understand why you jumped to the conclusion you have but it wasn't like that. Everyone agrees Lorraine has to tell you the whole truth. I've only known a little for a few weeks as Bobby had to tell me as I knew he was up to something.

"I know you believe he's been fucking her. That's not true. I wouldn't stand for it. I'd cut his balls off! If anyone told me Lorraine was fucking around on you, I wouldn't believe them. She loves you so much. You probably think, what story have they all concocted. I don't know the reasons behind it or what it was, he only said he was supporting her because she couldn't tell you. She's the one who knows everything which is why we have said she needs to tell you.

"Your mum and dad are beside themselves worrying about you. Bobby doesn't know what to do. Your friends have made it clear, they blame him. You blame him."

"Well, he was fucking Lorraine. I know we're not close but I never expected him to fuck me like that."

"Gordon, he hasn't, that's what I'm trying to tell you. Lorraine wasn't fucking about on you. What she was doing, she'll need to tell you."

Melissa hugged Gordon and left. Her parting words, "Call her and arrange a meeting. You have nothing to lose. A loving wife to gain. Be obstinate, let your ego win and you'll lose her. When you learn later you were wrong, what will you feel? Give her a chance to make things right."

After she left, Gordon laughed. They had concocted a story. One thing he knew, lies would only make things worse.

He knew he had to speak with her. Dawn had confirmed he had the job and she wanted him back in the office on Monday.

He texted Lorraine suggesting they meet at their home at 7pm on Friday. As he expected, she replied, "I can't." He replied, "Friday Fuck Night too important to miss!"

There was no response. He felt relief. There was no hiding where he was in her affections. He opened his laptop and completed the divorce forms. There was no longer any point in procrastinating.

It was two hours later, he received a text from her, "Gordon, Friday Fuck Night doesn't exist except in your head. I know I should have told you what I was doing. The reason I can't meet you tomorrow is because I'm in hospital. I collapsed at work. They took me for some more tests as I received your text. That's why I didn't respond straight away. From what they're saying I'll need an operation. It's hopefully nothing too serious. Betty and Billy are with me if you wish to confirm this.

"The way your mind is working you're probably thinking I'm having an abortion. I'm not. I've never fucked anyone other than you. I'll let you know when I get out. The offer to stay in the house still stands. I do love you. Lorraine."

Well, she nailed my thought processes. I called Billy. He confirmed she had been taken to the hospital by ambulance from her work. She had called Betty as Betty was the only one still speaking to her. They had been there shortly after she arrived. She'd given her parents as her next of kin.

She was in a lot of pain. He didn't know what they were thinking as when the doctors' examined her, he had to leave the room. I was blunt, "Was it an abortion or miscarriage?"

Billy spoke determinedly, "Definitely not. It's not a miscarriage type either. Whatever it is, it's genuine. She looks awful, her skin smells. She keeps apologising for it but the doctors' said what they suspect causes that.

"Gordon, you should be here. I know it will be difficult but she needs you. If anything does go wrong how will you live with yourself? You love her, you can't just turn that off. Let the future work itself out. Do what you know you should. Be Gordon."

I said, "I'll think about it."

Who is this Gordon they go on about? Dawn had said don't lose who you are! Billy said be Gordon. Lorraine said, the loving, caring Gordon. Yeah, the one trampled on all the time.

I tried to ignore my concerns but I had to be sure. I headed to the hospital. I texted Billy and asked where she was being kept. Did she need anything from home? I would be passing close by. I received a reply and picked up the items for her.

When I entered the room, I saw her look guardedly at me. "Well, are you here to see if it's an abortion, a miscarriage?" she asked quietly.

I shook my head, "No. I admit the thought did come to me. Billy assured me you were ill and insisted I be here for you. If you don't want me, I'll leave. I have the items you requested.

"I was concerned about you despite what has been going on between us."

She did look awful, her skin was greyish and she did smell!

She tried to smile, "If only I'd known, I have come to the hospital earlier. I can't tell you anything as they are still working out what to do. If we can be civil, I'd like you to stay. I do love you. I was stupid but I need to explain it all. Not now."

The doctor came in to give her the results. He looked at me, "I'm the estranged husband, I'll leave so you can speak with her alone."

Lorraine said, "Please stay. If only to know it's not what you were thinking."

The doctor laid it out. They advised surgery which they would perform straight away. The theatre was ready. She would be in hospital for three to four days. Recuperation would be three to four weeks. It wasn't baby related.

She was taken to theatre and I left as she would be there beyond visiting times. They would call or text me an update if I wished. I went to our house. I had a lot to think about.

As I looked around the house, I saw she hadn't kept it as spick and span as normal. I wondered if there was anything to show what she was up to. I went through her wardrobe. There were four cocktail dresses I had never seen and the one she was wearing last Friday. The lingerie drawer was a revelation. There were far sexier bras, knickers and even suspender belts. They were struggling for space with her normal prudish ones.