What We Yearn For Ch. 00 - Prologue

Description:

Ironically the one time Brielle tries to commit to a man for the long haul, he both cheats on her, rips open a terribly deep emotional wound and leaves her alone in a irreversible situation that she must navigate through. By herself.

If she explained it, Many understandably wouldn't know what to do in her predicament.

Brielle knows she cant just stand idly. so she focuses on trying to become the woman she's been told (and at one point was certain) she wasn't capable of ever being. all whilst swearing off male companionship; after all that is what got her in this mess in the first place. it's a headache she's sure she doesn't need and she makes that clear to any man that even tries to pursue her in any type of way.

So for the life her she cant figure out why her boss's irresponsible nephew, Milan, keeps sliding himself in her life at every corner. Sure, hes a talented photographer that's built an impressive career for himself. But in his personal life He's fickle, terribly carefree and a bed hopping- silver tongued- ladies man that can be hard to get a hold of when needed most.

However she'd be lying if she said she didn't enjoy the extra strobe of light he tended to bring into her otherwise dark life.

But Brielle will soon realize, that becoming more attached to Milan as he is now will leave her right back if not in worse, condition than any man had ever left her in before. And that's not something she can quite afford.

******

"I hate him so much sometimes, Brielle. I know its like, a bad thing to say but I can't help it at this point!" the girl blurted out at me, giving her tearful hazel eyes the most furious of rubs.

Great, this is what I get for trying to be the concerned and compassionate co-worker. Although in a way I felt I kind of owed it to her since she put me on to that inexpensive diner that sold large food portions. In my current predicament where my appetite could occasionally seem endless, that was a gold mine.

I could endure this for a little longer.

But the longer I witnessed My co-worker rub her eyes, the more I contemplated grabbing her wrists to halt her.

"Hannah, I know you're going through something but uh, if you want to talk, I'm here you know. No need to hold it in or anything." I tell her.

Hannah and I weren't the best of friends, but I'd worked with her long enough to know that she by default could usually be in a tense mood. But today it was more than usual. I actually could do a phenomenal job when ignoring her when she was like this (as long as she did her job, which she usually always did). She usually kept it together.

Until now.

Shortly moments before our closing day Hannah ran to the back after reading some message from her phone. It was sudden and abrupt but I didn't really mind for a number of reasons. One, this was my last week before I took some much-needed time off and two, I could use the break from being in such close proximity of someone who was sin such a mood. It made cleaning up early and reading a decent book during the slow hours before closing much easier. But if I was being honest, I kind of wished Hannah would have managed the last-minute online delivery request we got. Then again, Hannah didn't like to 'play delivery girl' as I overheard her say with some of the employees once. Which ultimately would of left the task to me either way.

With a deep sigh, I set a hand on Hannah's shaking shoulder as she buried her face into her own hands.

"I mean it Hannah, if you need to vent, I won't judge or anything. Only if you want though, no pressure."

Please, for the love of God say no.

I found myself praying silently.

It wasn't so much about of not wanting to be bothered with Hannah's dramatics. It was more so because I didn't know what I could say or do to mend her current emotional state. Especially if it had something to do with men

I couldn't give this girl advice even if I wanted to. it wasn't as If I was in the most stable and profound relationship myself. I didn't even know how to invest myself in relationship in general. In all my life It never really seemed like a good idea for someone like me. especially if I was at risk of ending up with me being a bawling mess like poor Hannah here.

"it's just, I though this guy liked me," her muffled voice fills my ears. again, her shoulders shake as she sobs before ultimately, she brings her face, flushed with an angry red hue, up to view. "He even said he liked me being around! I've been texting him for weeks asking him to go out. and hes just now getting back to me and you know what he says?"

My eyes shift at the sudden pause.

Oh, its not a rhetoric question, is it?

"Um, no. what did he say?"

"Not going to be able to do that. but take care of yourself" she answers. "that's it! no full explanation as to why, no nothing! Ugg!" she suddenly stands from her seat. "I cannot stand men! They're the absolute worse you know?"

Oh yeah, we can definitely agree on that.

I wanted to say this aloud, and maybe even tell her I related at least superficially to what she was going through. But I had a feeling, and partially due to past experience with her, that Hannah was wrapped up in herself right now. Relating to her on a personal level probably wouldn't work right now. so, I kept my story to myself.

"Hannah, I know it sucks but maybe you should take some time to yourself? You're young, beautiful and if you wanted, I don't doubt you'll wouldn't be able to get yourself another man." I say instead.

At this, Hannah's back slowly straightened. A pause filled the room for a moment, she sniffled her red button nose and tucked a lock of her brown hair behind her ear to clear her face. for the first time since working together, I saw something vulnerable in Hannah, uncertainty? Whatever it was, it was a huge contrast to her usual confident and pretty face she usually held high.

"I'd be lying if I said I felt completely better, but I suppose you're right. I just was startled, I guess. He came and went so suddenly it threw me off. but I guess some men are like that." she sighed, standing from her seat.

I felt a surge of relief pass through me seeing Hannah wipe her face. genuinely I was happy the girl wouldn't be a crying mess a hopefully more tolerable to work with for at least the remaining week. But another part of me wanted Hannah to shape up permanently in time before our boss would get tired of her attitude. as understanding as our boss could be, it was purely out of convivence. for example, she was likely to put up with your mood if she was temporarily short staffed and needed an extra hand. However Usually by default she was rather cut throat. This was especially if she feltlike someone was unnecessarily making things difficult for the work place. I know that in Hannah's former emotional state, had she been here, it would have qualified for her to possibly get let go.

Despite this, our boss had been good to me financially during my time here as well as personally. The last thing I wanted for the small business id come to adore was to be short staffed while I was away for the upcoming time period. I especially found it easy to work occasionally late for the business as well.

At the thought, I glanced at the wall clock hoisted above the door.

It was now thirtyminutes past closing. The commute from here to home wasn't terribly long but Iknew I had to make the delivery of daises to the customer which would add tothe stretch of time. my feet were already aching and I felt a mixture between tired and hungry which was expected lately.

I stood from my own eat, "you're going to be ok, right?" I asked, watching Hannah gather her belongings form the employee lockers.

"Eventually I'm sure, but until then I'm going to be taking a lot of spa days after work, and perhaps visiting that diner I told you about for some comfort pastries." She replied, wearily shrugging. "Catch you later. And uh, thanks for everything." she waved, departing out the door without so much as a second thought.

I felt my feet ache at the mention of a spa.

Admittedly my aches were as prominent as they were months ago and I read that occasionally, with people in my condition that they typically stop after a moment or so. But by logic, I knew everyone's condition was different. I just happened to be in the percentage where I was still affected. But I knew it wouldn't be forever. I just had to focus on pour money into more important matters...

My gaze caught sight of myself in the full body mirror Hannah bad been staring into not so long ago. I approached it slowly to examine my full front profile before turning to the side. Keeping my eyes on the mirror, I grabbed the hem of my oversized green sweater dress and lifted it above my black leggings but just under my breast. There, my eyes fell on my protruding round belly. Just as I planted a gentle hand on it, I felt a soft push against it from the little human who seemed to be extending his stay inside of me.

No use crying about being pregnant now I suppose.

*******