What We Yearn For Ch. 06

I was confused by Hannah's reaction. The way her spine seemed tense and rigid and her expression twisted in a seemingly way of suspicion to confusion and then hurt. For whatever reason.

I couldn't pin point the reasoning behind her visible reaction.

So, I had no issue opening my mouth to answer her. only to feel a searing cramp ripple through my womb that had me bending forward, clutching my belly with a gasp.

"Are you alright?" I heard Milan's voice, laced with concern. His hand had shifted from my shoulder to my mid back where he gently rubbed me in slow circles.

The act was soothing but did little to keep the pain at bay.

"Yeah, I just...need to go now. I'm sorry but were going to have to do the is another time-"

"I agree," Milan nodded, cutting me short. His hand still on the base of my back, he used the other to gently but firmly grip my elbow to slowly pull me from the booth. "I'm sorry Hannah, we're going to have to do this another time."

Not what I meant, I wanted to say.

But by now I was clenching my teeth to keep myself from making too much noise from the discomfort my own body was giving me.

Steady breaths, I tell myself. Although I knew my breathing was becoming a little more rapid at this point.

I didn't know what was going on, but I knew this wasn't normal and likely needed help. While I was curious about Hannah's reaction to Milan and wanted to inquire about it, I simply couldn't find it in myself to focus on much of anything else but the pain.

"Another time?" I heard Hannah squeak. It was as if I wasn't there anymore. Her attention focused solely on Milan. "So, you just show up out of nowhere and-"

"Oh fuck!"

The onlookers in the diner turned toward us just as I bellowed bending forward again. this time I couldn't hide it. both hands clenching my belly, I felt Myself rack with stronger cramps.

"Is she ok?" Our bubbly waitress ran over, her worried gaze shifting between me and Milan. "Do you want me to call someone? Is it-"

"she's pregnant." Milan told her, earning him a worried gaze. "I'm not sure what's wrong but to be safe I'm going to get her to the hospital nearby, is it alright if I put this all on my tab?" he shot the waitress an apologetic look.

"Of course, Milan, don't even worry about it! please go!"

I'm a little too focused on my breathing. but I can hear some of the background noise of what sounded like Hannah complaining and questioning what exactly was going on while the waitress, tried to calm her in place. I wasn't sure what she was becoming upset about, and I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to even turn around ask, what with Milan grabbing my elbow and ushering me outside the dinner as quickly as I can walk out.

"Milan seriously, I can just take myself to the hospital. I'll get there quicker than the city traffic would get you." I try to say the second he holds his car door open for me.

His long lashes lower, giving him a heavy lidded and dull look pointed my way. "With the way you're waddling, I bet it would take you close to two minutes to reach the block. Especially around this time." he glances at his watch. "The tourist flock to this area of the city when it gets around this time in the afternoon. Let's go," he tells me. his hand taking its place back at my lower back and gently pushing me into the passenger's side of the car.

Well, he wasn't lying.

Being on my feet suddenly felt a lot more difficult than usual. They ached with each step, or waddle, as he put it, I took to even walk the short distance of his car. plus, I was starting to grow more and more concerned. I wasn't so sure what exactly was happening and if everything was alright.

If it...was alright.

Even in the through of my discomfort, I started to replay my recent actions. trying to recall if I'd done anything wrong or eaten something that may have upset my stomach or given my body a terrible reaction. I'm so wrapped up in my thoughts. Until that woodsy and citrusy scent suddenly surrounds me, brining me back to my current place.

Wait, that scent...

I blink, "Milan want are you doing?" my heart suddenly skips at his sudden close proximity. Hes reached over to my side of the car. only hes reaching a little way above me.

"Seat belt, Elle?' he shoots me a look. "Duh? this is a fast car."

"Right." I blink, again, watching him extend the belt comfortably across me and my belly. At hearing the soft click noise I grab the base of the belt. "Speaking of which, as much of a speed freak I can be. try not to glue your foot to the gas pedal."

"Really now?" he gawks playfully at me. "This car is my pride and joy. I love her more than anything I own. I literally clean her myself. I don't even eat in this car. the last thing I would ever do is risk her by pivoting her through the traffic."

"Nice to see you care about something outside of who warms whatever bed you're occupying for the night." I jab playfully.

Again, Milan shoots me a look. its playful, mischievous and dare I say flirty? "Elle, if it concerns you that much who I take to bed I'll sleep in my car from now on. that better?"

My heart flutters.

I chalk it up with my current predicament and brush it off though.

I snort a laugh before instinctively snapping my gaze away from him toward my passenger's window.

Suddenly looking at him was a bit...difficult.

"The drive to the hospital is how long?" I ask once he starts the engine and begins peeling out of the parking spot.

"The closest one is about ten minutes away on a good day. 15 or 20 though if you consider todays traffic." He pauses for a moment. "...you think that'll be fine?"

I'm not sure.

The way I'm feeling right now is weird. Different from his usual kicks and movement.

But I don't tell him that. I don't want to worry him.

"Its fine. it's just kicking a lot. " I chuckle. "it's kind of annoying."

Another pause fills the air save for the easy going sound of tame impala playing threw the speakers.

But then Milan speaks up. "I got an idea. How about we distract ourselves from being nervous."

Even though his focal point is on the road I still turn to arch a brow at him. "I'm making you nervous?"

"Yes," he admits quickly. He waits till he eases at stop light, to look at me. "For a number of reasons but mainly the top one on the list just so happens to be because of the ticking time bomb I have a feeling who may or may not be breaking the lease on the apartment we call your womb right now. but you know, that's up in the air and you seem sure that all is well."

"I am sure. my water hasn't broken or anything," I say looking down and over my belly.

"Good," he says, and gently, places a hand onto my belly and giving a gentle pat with the tip of his fingers. "Try and hold off for the next couple of minutes-Jesus Christ!" he snatches his hand away from my stomach feeling it throb and prod in the direction of his hand.

His reaction and horrified expression generate a deep laugh out of me.

"That was weird?!??'

"If this is your way of distracting yourself from the impending doom of this kid bursting out my belly, then I have to say it's working."

"It wasn't actually." He admits. "I was going to say let's play three truths and a lie."

"And how would we play that?"

He shrugs. "You say your truths and I guess your lie. but it has to be about yourself. Think of it as the verbal game of 'were not really strangers.'"

I grimace at the mention of the popular game I read was allegedly wonderful for getting to know your significant other.

Significant other....

I pause for a moment, marinating on that word.

I'm sure Milan doesn't think anything of suggesting the game to me. I mean why would he. So far, the only thing this boy seems able to commit to is material objects like his car and cameras. I highly doubt he'd see this as a moment to get to know one another and form and deepen a bond.

And why would I even care about that? it's not like we're trying to do anything together intimate or even could in the first place. I'm growing past the caution of him being my boss's nephew slash adopted son. Now, it's more so the fact that hes a bit younger than me and I didn't care to date anyone my junior, and I highly doubt anyone his age would or could want to be a what I needed in a man...whatever that was.

Friends...were playing this game as potential friends.

Even though the thought was supposed to bring me comfort peace and reassurance...it doesn't quite do that. instead, it invokes me to twist my mouth to the side as if leaving a sour taste on the tongue.

But still, I push past it and comply with Milan.

"I'll go first I guess." I clear my throat as I search my brain for something about myself. when the seconds of silence stretch between us of me anxiously searching my brain. Besides the growing discomfort my body was having generally I wasn't use to just flat out saying random facts about myself.

"If it's any comfort the facts won't leave our pact."

My brow arches, "our pact?"

"Yes," he gives me a quick glance. "Now quit stalling. Say your truths and lie."

"Fine." I relent and say the first things that come to mind. "I'd eat a grilled cheese over a five-star meal, I'm scared about being a mother, throughout my whole pregnancy I've liked the smell of a particular fruit I can't really name. uh... and my father thinks I'm amazing."

"Well, this is easy," he snorts. "The grilled cheese one is the lie." He says confidently.

Even in my discomfort I'm able to give a small smile. "Wrong, actually. That's the truth"

"What? your serious right now? a grilled cheese sandwich is your main preference? You'd eat that over a good steak if it was presented to you?"

"Yes." I say without hesitation. "Even before I was pregnant, I had a taste for it. particularly the one at a local café near me. they have this awesome sourdough and three cheese grilled cheese I like." I admit. "So, your loss, right? what do I win?"

"Me trying again is what you're getting." He speaks. "Although if we're putting something up for grabs...I could be your driver if I lose again. Anyway, what about the mother one? that has to be the lie right?"

I shake my head, "nope. Truth." And I don't elaborate further. " Want to try one more or are your adamant about not being my taxi driver for an undisclosed amount of time?"

"This is mind blowing you mean to tell me you're nervous about being a mom? I mean I get it; you have to raise another human being but. You're so calm and says going about it."

"doesn't negate that I practically piss myself thinking about not being a worse fuck up as a parent than I already am as a person." I mumble low but audibly.

When the car falls silent, save for the soft hum of the of it moving across the pavement. I know I've said too much and instantly regret it.

Just kidding! Is at the tip of my tongue.

But Milan's mouth, of course, moves much faster.

"From that alone I guess it's safe the say the last one about your father is your lie. You think he doesn't think much of you."

It's a statement more than a question and it has me grimacing at this whole game I was stupid enough to participate in.

"Yes," I say, "he doesn't think much of me. I mean my dad is pretty numb when it comes to me. He doesn't react much. Or acknowledge me. But he could speak at a church with ease-hes a pastor."

"Wait a minute...you're the daughter of a preacher man?"

"Yes," I roll my eyes. "I am. And my life style...how I've always been has always been an issue with him. my step mother lectures me enough. you know I haven't even talked to him properly once since I told him I was pregnant? I tried to call the house; it always goes right to voice mail. I even went and texted my step mother, and I can't stand her. she said that he'd text me-But all he said was leave me on seen. Each message." I scoff. "I think I'm so desperate for some form of remote interaction that I just settled for speaking to her. she tells me he buries himself in work, or doing work involving the church so much that he says he doesn't have much time to speak with me. I mean...he sent me this Christian adoption service program they have in my local area. that was pretty much all I needed to know about how he felt about my having a kid."

"Wait, so besides that last part being fucked, you haven't audibly heard him speak, or even seen him? maybe you should go in person when this is all over. I mean you can't take the word of a middle person all the time. there could be a miscommunication."

Between the occasional cramps and this topic of conversation, I was beginning to find it depressing in my own state of mind at this point.

But he does have a point

I wanted to verbally express that, but I found I couldn't actually focus on our conversation. Because the cramps that riddled my body began to feel more prominent again. Particularly at the lower part of my body.

I tried my best to silently take it.

We're almost there.

I thought as we passed another block. The hospital was literally short minutes away.

Just tough it out, you got this. you got this-

I blinked feeling a sudden dampness flush between my legs and surely the seat of Milan's beloved car. My stomach plummeted realizing what just happened.

"Uh...Milan."

He gives me a glance as we slowed at the red light.

"what's up?" he eyes me cautiously, noticing my hand was now cradling the swell of my belly. And that I was slightly leaning forward. " Are you guys...alright? you want me to get you something or-"

"a towel."

He blinks, "A towel?"

"Yes. Cause I either pissed myself on your seat just now or, my water fucking broke."