What Were You Thinking?

Author's Note: This is another stand-alone story with more adventures of my favorite swinger couple, finding life-lessons and learning about people among the extra-marital sex-for-fun crowd.

I'm providing a more extensive biography this time to describe my main couple up front, due to critics of my previous stories. Ultimately, this story shows that among the best, stable marriages and even in relationships like swinger couples, ... over time, some people change.

*****

I opened the remote camera app of the wildlife cam aimed along the driveway of our vacation house. The small pics for the initial image of each motion activated video showed some of the usual traffic in the driveway over the past month. I scrolled down the list of videos, recognizing the obvious ones: squirrels or deer wandering through, our oldest daughter and her family arriving and departing last weekend, and a delivery truck with the video showing the driver setting a package on the front porch, probably something my wife ordered from Amazon.

Before I closed the camera's app watching that driveway, I noticed in the small real-time image as a car arrived about fifteen minutes too early. But I recognized this car and the driver. So, I paused, watching as things unfolded on my tablet computer. Twenty minutes later, I just sighed and closed that camera app. After taking a sleep aid, I poured another drink before starting the next episode of my latest sci-fi series.

And hour later, the episode was done, the sleep aid was taking effect, and I went to bed, soon falling into a sound sleep as I contemplated how we got here ...

Prologue -- In the Beginning

When Janet (Jan) and I were younger, we dated exclusively for three years starting late as 18-year-old seniors in high school and through two years of community college. We took some breaks in our exclusive relationship when I went away to a university, and we reconnected during the summer between school years. She didn't have any other serious boyfriends while I was gone, finding other guys to be too deceptive, too clingy, or just unsatisfying. So, we dated again for those few months before I had to return to school, and we again parted as friends going our separate ways.

We both enjoyed some wild times with others during those years of college separations. But after some close calls with STDs, jealous spouses, and other unexpected events with strangers, we finally got back together when I completed my degree program. It seemed we both found it tiresome dealing with others with their emotional dramas and deceptions, and we decided to settle down together, because we understood each other. It wasn't my plan to get married, but Jan sort of directed me to propose to her or she'd cut me off from sex. So, looking at my options, I made the only logical choice.

Dating several different women in college, I found they all seemed to need some emotional connection after sex or were playing some kind of mind-games, which I couldn't understand. Geek that I am, those feelings just weren't in my upbringing, and I couldn't anticipate what they expected in their games. My mother was a serious woman, raised in an orphanage. And my dad was rarely around, working two jobs about six days per week. Even when he was around, dad just never talked much. And in our rural neighborhood, there weren't any other kids my age. So, I grew up as a loner, until I hooked up with Jan.

My girlfriend's mother had a nervous breakdown after being involved in a car accident with her son (Jan's older brother), who died as she was trapped next to him until the rescuers arrived. So, Jan went through her teenage years almost alone at home. Jan was also a social outcast in school, due to her take-charge attitude from her home life causing friction with the more popular A-listers. She had a run-in with the head cheerleader in high school, with those "mean girls" managing to get this cute girl black-listed from dates with any other guys in our small school. Jan eventually latched onto me as a fellow outcast, and we've been together ever since.

We were both 18-year-old virgins when we got together in our senior year of high school, due to the social issues among our peers (and both of us having to repeat a grade in elementary school for different reasons.) I found out later Jan's best friend, Marlene, a neighbor from the farm behind her house, challenged Jan to get a date. So, this cute take-charge girl I was tutoring in math one day just blurted out: "You're taking me to the Prom, so get used to the idea. And rent a tux!" Jan didn't play mind games, always being very direct in telling me what she expected.

I was a social loner, and oblivious enough to bluntly ask "If I rent a tux, what's in it for me? You know I don't want to be around those others at a dance." And with such bluntness, I managed to negotiate a few dates with her for us to change that virgin issue. Again, that was her take-charge choice when, on our third date she announced "I'm not waiting any longer. You're going to fuck me!", and I was smart enough to not debate that with her.

Later, after dating other women while away at college, I realized Jan's attitude toward sex was unique. In our sexual explorations together, we both learned to try controlling each other. I found it interesting that I could make her legs shake in an orgasm. Sex with her was almost like my ham radio hobby, fine tuning the controls until I found the signal I wanted.

Most of our early sexual learning sessions were in a local park, where I found a secluded spot deep in a grove of mountain laurel bushes. That became such an iconic setting, when we had the money later in life, we purchased a rural mountain house retreat for family vacations. And I recreated our favorite picnic spot for times when my wife and I were there without the kids.

Jan seemed to find it empowering that she could take the energy out of me and watch my dick deflate, then she'd chuckle at the fact she could handle more after I was spent. And she's not into cuddling after she orgasms with "the big one" like most women, even saying to me "Okay, I'm done. You can get off me now. ... And pour another glass of wine for me!" (Did I mention she's rather controlling?)

After I proposed and during our subsequent 30 years together, Jan picked up a new hobby: flirting with other guys. I realized flirting was just another aspect of her controlling nature, trying to see if she could manipulate men with just a few touches or comments. Teasing the men around her became a sporting event to her, with her goal of trying to encourage a visible hard-on in their pants.

She was focused on staying in shape to facilitate her sport. I benefitted from her hobby by having a gorgeous, sexy wife. Of course, my controlling bitch insisted I stay in shape too as her "arm candy", with the normal wifely control mechanism of threatening to cut me off from sex if I didn't comply. If I forgot to exercise for a few weeks or control my diet, she'd suddenly say "I'm not going down on you until you lose that 'buddha-belly'!" So, for the potential blowjobs, I'll lift some weights and do a few sit-ups.

During our years together, I remained an emotionally dysfunctional (aka "clueless") geek. But I never worried about her cheating on me with her flirting targets for several reasons.

First, Jan talks incessantly, and blurts out to me everything which is on her mind. If she's thinking about something, she will say it to whoever is willing to listen. So, I trusted she'd soon tell me if she were thinking of fucking another guy. Or at least if she did fuck another guy, she couldn't keep it a secret.

And second, she is controlling, always telling me what I should do (obviously to appease her). And she'll point out sexy young women to me, saying "In your dreams" to tease me. But she forbids me to follow through to pursue them. Leveraging her controlling nature, I'll tell her she can fuck that handsome waiter, but if she does, all controls are then off. I'll definitely do it with another woman, too. And Jan was apparently jealous at any mention of a woman I dated in college, Brenda, who Jan referred to as "that gangbang slut!"

No, I'm not just some wimp my wife can order around all the time. I have my limits, and she knows it! ... And her ordering me to stay in shape backfires on her in that regard, because I've told her of several women who have offered me options, including Brenda, when I bumped into her at the mall a few months ago.

So, Jan and I have stayed together mainly due to our mutual, almost insatiable desire for sex, and not wanting to bother with the emotional turmoil of breaking in another partner to tolerate our dysfunctional quirks. We satisfy each other's needs.

Intro - The Lifestyle

A few years ago, we were enjoying dinner at our house with an older, fun-loving couple we knew when the subject of sexual boredom came up. They told us about their discreet swinger lifestyle with other couples to enjoy the newness of a different partner, while remaining married. The major problem to overcome would be if one or the other of a couple feels jealous. Our friends refused to swap with us that evening, not wanting to jeopardize our friendship. So, after Jan and I reminisced about our younger, wilder days, and enjoyed a risqué romp with the other couple fucking our spouse in front of each other, we soon decided to explore their swinger lifestyle. This seemed like a logical choice to relieve our sexual boredom, while avoiding those emotional entanglements dating others would surely bring. When hooking up with other couples, we could now "fuck'em and leave 'em", just enjoying the sex as we do with each other. And Jan and I have remained together.

We've both always saw our sex together as a physical relief, almost like asking your spouse for a backrub. Jan might say: "My neck is stiff. Could you rub my shoulders?" I could as easily say to Jan: "I need a blowjob." She wouldn't be offended and might do it, or she might reply: "Well, I'm not feeling it. But if you can get it up, I'll bend over, and you can fuck me from behind."

I may be mostly clueless, but after so many experiences meeting people over the years, I know most people don't think like Jan and me. We knew if any of our friends or work colleagues found out about our new lifestyle, it might result in some negative, judgmental consequences. We thought it wouldn't be fair if one of us was seen by a friend or neighbor when out with another play partner. Whether seen just having dinner and dancing or going into a hotel with someone other than our spouse, it might cause the other one a problem at work or at least ridicule from some of our common friends. So, we agreed we'd only play around with others when we're together, since we'll both then share the same risk.

We also mostly like watching each other when we're with other couples at house parties. I did give Jan a 'hall pass' once for sex alone with a guy she was lusting for, to play in bed in a one-on-one situation. But that was in a different room in the same house. It wasn't really cheating, since I could have fun with other women there or could have gone in to watch them.

And we've had some interesting times at these house parties and swinger get togethers at bars or restaurants. In her job at an accounting firm, my wife worked together closely with another woman, Celia for over a year. We were at one of the meetups, when Jan ran into Celia and her husband, with Jan briefly panicking as she wondered how to explain being there. Then she realized that Celia and her husband were in our same group as swingers.

My wife usually dictates rules for the two of us just before we go to those parties. Her "same room" rule is for us to only play together with others when we're together, because she enjoys watching me as I fuck other women. But it doesn't bother me if she breaks that rule, because I have only one rule between us: 'No double standards!' I've made it very clear to her that when she breaks her rules, then I will, too.

At the end of the day, I'm always going to bed with the same gorgeous woman I've lived with for the last thirty years. She always takes care of my sexual needs, so I've become very accustomed and tolerant of her bitching ways. Ours might not be the handholding, fawning, cuddling, jealously protecting love others claim to feel. But it works for us.

Friends With Benefits

Jan and I settled into our swinger lifestyle by finding a few groups on a website to meet people. Then after attending a few house parties for some playtime with others, we've settled down to enjoying get togethers with our favorite couples who we both find compatible. By sticking to other couples for our extra-marital sex, it keeps us both involved together and reduces the risks of any emotional entanglements.

One of the regular house parties we attend about every three months does have a few single men and women. But the hosts have vetted them to reduce any chance of any of them getting too attached to a husband or wife. That could cause potential drama at their future parties, and most people in this lifestyle would avoid their party, if that occurs.

My rather odd memory ability allows me to relate these anecdotes, because I can't forget anything I've read, heard, or seen. I know that old adage "forgive and forget", which some people use. But I always thought that rather odd. Even my wife repeatedly telling her mother to forget about the accident which killed Jan's older brother seemed odd to me. In my mind, I was thinking 'It happened, so how could she forget it?' I've found the only way to get along in life is to accept it and move along.

So, after years together, Jan's attitude now is 'Get over it!' when faced with anything which didn't go quite right. And my attitude, even when watching another guy fucking my wife is 'It happened. And her pussy's still there for me later,' as I fuck another woman at the same party. It's like that old song from 1970 by Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young (which I think they cleaned up for radio) 'If you can't be with the one you love, [fuck] the one you're with.' As swingers, we're both having fun sex with others we find at the house parties, but we're together in the same house when doing it.

Another Fun Evening

Sunday afternoon, we attended a monthly swinger bar meetup at a nearby restaurant. We like meeting other couples in relatively public settings, getting to know other interesting couples we find, then go home afterwards to see if we both agree we like them. These meetups give us a chance to expand our friends-with-benefits list for future fun.

We didn't find any new couples at this meetup. Jan was just her normal talkative self, socializing with everyone we already knew there. Arriving back home that evening, Jan and I showered to relax in the living room with glasses of wine, as we sat in our usual separate swivel chairs.

"I was talking to Dan at the meetup," Jan said, "and he said he and Maggie will send out an invite to their next party in two months."

"Have you added that to our calendar?" I asked.

"Of course," she replied. "I know how much you like Maggie. And I like watching you two together."

Maggie is one of my favorite swinger wives. Besides being attractive, she seems to enjoy just the right amount of hugging and kissing foreplay with me to get me excited. And she likes teasing her husband with her sexual antics during the parties, doing her best to show him cumshots she's taken to give him a reason to spank her afterwards. At their last house party, at the end of the evening Maggie strolled into their kitchen naked with some guy's cum running down her thigh to tease her husband. Dan told his wife to go back upstairs and clean herself, then he'd be along to "warm her ass." After she went upstairs, he turned to me saying; "If you want, go ahead and finish with her again, Ted. I'll give you twenty minutes before I come up to spank her." It's their playful kink, but I don't judge. They've been doing it for decades together, so it seems to work for them.

I wondered if Jan had anyone specific in mind she wanted at their next party. I know she enjoys playing with Dan, but he seems a little tame for her when she's really in the mood at these parties.

Jan's latest favorite is a guy named Rodger she met at their party that last time a few months ago. He's divorced and attends these couples-only parties with a lesbian friend. Jan told me she was flirting with a guy at an airport bar the day before that party, when she returned from a business trip. Then she was surprised to meet him at Dan and Maggie's party that next evening. She first introduced me to Rodger when I was busy fucking Maggie on the king-size bed beside them. After I finished with Maggie for the first time that evening, I stood beside Jan and Rodger at the side of the bed watching them until he finally thrust deep into her, unloading his balls into my wife. Then I handed them a box of tissues to clean up. I talked to Rodger alone after that, and he seems like a decent guy.

Responding to Jan mentioning this new party, I asked "Did Dan mention any of the others they plan to invite?"

"He didn't say," she replied. "But I'm hoping he'll send it to all of their regulars."

"Like Rodger?" I asked.

"Hmmm. Now, there's a nice image," she replied.

Without saying another word, Jan stood and walked over to the ottoman to get a blanket and one of her toys. She returned to cover her chair and stripped to sit on it. With her right leg thrown over the arm of the chair, she picked up the toy and started slowly playing with herself. I retrieved a second blanket to cover my chair, stripped, and started stroking myself as I turned to watch her.

After two minutes, she slid off her chair to kneel and crawl over between my legs. She knelt there naked with those beautiful tits and legs visible between my knees and beyond my now almost hard cock. Her long auburn hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and her green eyes sparkled with mischievous excitement. My stroking while watching her play with her pussy had my member at a firm six inches long now, out of its full seven-inch length when hard.

Jan wrapped her right hand around my cock. As she lowered her head toward it, she then stopped, tilting her head looking at it. "I like that nice smooth head," she said as she touched it with her left hand. "How do you want me to start? Sucking the head? Licking the shaft? Or licking your balls?" Her left finger was sliding softly along as she emphasized each part.

"You could start by sucking it."

She finished lowering her head toward my stiffening member as she used her hand to guide it into her mouth. Jan stopped with just the head fully enclosed between her lips, and I felt her tongue teasing the underside of it. Slowly she continued lowering her head down, the length of the shaft disappearing in her mouth until half of it was in. Her hand was still wrapped around the bottom half of the stiff shaft as her lips met her hand. She pulled her head back up until the tip was almost out of her mouth, then suddenly and quickly dove down again taking it back in.

The first few head bobbing motions were this quick down and slow withdrawal. Then her pace began evening out. She just bobbed her head down and up on me at a steady pace.

At one point, Jan sat back to tilt her head so she could look up into my eyes, while keeping it in her mouth. I smiled in appreciation, and she looked back down to focus on her task at hand. Her right hand remained wrapped around the base, with her lips meeting her hand with each downward drop of her head.

I noticed her other hand still held the toy at her clit, and I heard her begin moaning with her lips closed around my member. She was soon rocking her whole body as her head went down on it and her hips rose off her toy, then she'd bounce back down onto the toy as she pulled her head up. Jan opened her mouth while continuing this bouncing, with her sounds changing to "Oh! Oh! Oh!" in time with her rocking.