What's in a Name? Beth

After that, I gave him head whenever he wanted, and he came almost every time. Since I swallowed the first time, I continued to do so - like I said, I didn't mind the taste, so why not? I also let him play with me, but I didn't spread my legs like that for him again. He'd play with my boobs, or occasionally slip his hand down my pants (or up my skirt), and I was OK with that. I had told him that I didn't want his fingers in my vagina, so he didn't. He still liked to feel me out and I liked it when he did. It wasn't like I was 'saving myself for marriage' and I did care for David, but I didn't love him enough to 'go all the way' with him.

I blew him because Dad said that I should. God, that sounds sick but it's true. I'd better explain.

A few years ago, after I had started noticing boys but before I had started going steady with anyone, Dad talked to me about the song 'Paradise by the Dashboard Lights.' If you listen to any of the classic rock stations, you've probably heard it. It's by Meatloaf from 'Bat Out of Hell.' When I was a kid, one of my friends said it was her favorite song, so naturally I liked it too. Of course, we were too young to understand it at the time - I think we were about 8. If you haven't heard it, the title and a couple lines sum up the central theme: "We were doubly blessed. We were barely 17 and we were barely dressed." It's about two kids making out in a car. The second section has a baseball announcer calling part of a game. The batter barely makes it to first base, then steals second and third. It's all about the runner, and how he's almost called out at each base, but makes it each time. As the game is being called, you can hear the couple in the background exchanging whispers as they're making out. The whispered comments are appropriate to the 'base' the runner's on. Once I understood what was going on, I'd get wet almost every time I listened to it. Finally, the runner tries to steal home. The last line from the announcer is, "...and here's the play at the plate." That line is followed by the girl belting out, "Stop right there! Before we go any farther, do you love me?" She's willing to let him 'score,' but only if he promised to love her to the end of time. The song ends with, "I'm praying for the end of time, so I can end my time with you."

Dad and I were heading home from somewhere when the song came up on the radio. I was driving, so I had to be at least 15 at the time. Dad has always had me drive ever since I got my permit. The song was almost over when we got home, and he signaled for me to wait in the car with him until the end. When the song finished, he turned off the radio and we sat in the car talking about it. He pointed out that they both shared the blame for his 'praying for the end of time,' but SHE could have averted the problem. From the baseball analogy, it's clear that the guy was initiating everything, but she allowed it to progress to the final 'play at the plate.' At this point, all HE can think about is getting off. She, however, can deal with his frustration without surrendering her virginity.

Just before we went into the house, Dad said, "You never give up the right to say 'no,' but you should be prepared to deal with any situation that you create.

"Think about it."

It was maybe a year later that one of my friends was talking about how she had given her boyfriend a hand-job. I then realized what Dad had been talking about (and it also explained why he didn't come right out and say it). That song and Dad saying 'think about it' is why I agreed to go down on David. Last year, I could see that David and I were heading for the situation in the song. I also knew that I didn't want to go 'all the way.' We had been going together a while before I let him 'steal second' (remember, Joan wasn't comfortable with her breasts, so she was reticent about letting anyone else touch them). After we had rounded third, I may have been able to get away with giving David a hand job, but I felt I should give him something he couldn't give himself. From conversations in the girls room at school I figured giving head couldn't be too bad. The first time I went down on him we were in his car and he had my bush in his hand. As he was shifting to get his cock where his hand was, I was able to turn myself around so his cock ended up in my mouth instead. He quickly decided that that was almost as good - and was definitely good enough.

After I was able to get him off, he was ready and willing to return the favor. But he didn't know what he was doing, and neither did I. Everybody knows that guys get horny and frustrated. I'm sure I'm not the only girl who's experienced similar frustration, but (as Joan) there was no way I would dream of talking about it with anybody. Instead, I almost always ended up masturbating in bed after a date with David. That's not quite right. I did myself after every date with him after I started going down on him.

Dad also said something in his stories about me leaving 'one more button undone.' Yes, I started showing some cleavage, but the difference was that I finally got bras that fit correctly. I've mentioned that I don't have big boobs, and Joan tried to minimize what little she had. Remember, her goal was to disappear except on stage or on the soccer field. Big tits were a disadvantage in soccer, and boobs weren't accentuated for school performances in dance. We were in high school, but parents would probably complain if their daughters were anything other than 'little girls' on stage. Joan would occasionally join in the conversation about boobs in the locker room when changing for P.E or dance, but she would never initiate it. She was safely in the middle of the pack in the boob department. She got them a little early, but they stayed on the small side.

As Beth, I'm proud of being a woman, and I like to accentuate it (to the extent that I can). A few days after I changed my name, I visited the lingerie department to get bras that would get my girls noticed. I asked a saleswoman to help me get the correct size and demonstrate how to adjust them for the most lift. I told her what I was looking for, and she helped me get it. This is something else Joan would never consider - letting someone 'handle' her boobs for any reason (David was the lone exception). The saleswoman also suggested styles of blouses that would help. Joan never wanted to have cleavage, but I do and like to flaunt it. The 'knickers' were an afterthought. People may notice the difference with the new bras but nobody would know about the panties (or so I thought). But I knew when I was wearing them and they made me feel sexy.

*******

Then came the day to put my plan into action. With the weekend off from work, I had all of Friday afternoon available to get ready and the next couple days to play around with Dad. Getting the house clean wasn't a big deal. Dad does a decent job of it, so there wasn't much I had to worry about. I made sure the laundry was done and shit like that. But I wanted two things to be perfect: dinner, and me.

One of the 'extras' I had picked up on Sunday was a pork roast (one of Dad's favorites). I didn't get the recipe itself from 'Good Eats,' but I've watched the show enough that I'm sure it influenced the outcome (hence, my comment: "It's probably not as good as Alton's, but it should be edible"). I also made sure to have all of Dad's favorite fixings with it. I stopped by the store on my way home from soccer to pick up a few things I hadn't thought of on Sunday. I had already made sure that there was plenty of beer, so that was covered and I just restocked the 'fridge. I knew of a few places that generally didn't check ID, but I didn't want to have to risk it. I had considered wine with dinner, but decided that that would be too much. I wanted us to be just slightly tipsy by bedtime, but didn't want there to be any chance of him thinking he had taken advantage of me because I was drunk. The whole point was to get him into bed with me while making it clear that I had made a conscious choice to have it happen.

The difficulty in getting myself ready was deciding how far to push it. I wanted to look sexy enough to get Dad's attention, but didn't want him to suspect that I had anything planned. I knew he was comfortable with nudity (all I had to do was leave my door open after going to bed to confirm that, it was the easiest way to 'sneak a peek') but that would obviously be way over the top. I finally settled on a top with no bra, and some barely-decent shorts. The top was far from modest, providing enough support to give me some cleavage while open enough to show it. It covered my nipples so that they only showed when they wanted to be noticed. I had worn the shorts a few times earlier that summer, but with a bare belly, they appeared shorter. The high-cut panties weren't necessary, but they complimented the shorts. With David, I would probably have applied some perfume after my shower. I knew that Dad would prefer that I smell like me, rather than some flower. I didn't do anything special with my hair, and I used a little less makeup than usual, but with a focus on sexy. Like I said - it was a question of balance.

'Real Sex' may have been available 'on demand' but what we watched was an episode I found that Dad had saved on the DVR a while ago. Since he had saved it, I knew there had to be something that turned him on. I considered watching it while I was getting ready, but decided to watch it as a 'Real Sex Virgin.' It became part of my plan when I was deciding how to broach the subject. (The other option I considered was playing cards and changing the game to 'strip poker.') I had found the episode a few weeks earlier, and knew immediately how I would play it. We never turned on the TV until after dinner, so it was already cued when I went into the living room. I knew he would volunteer to do the dishes but I made sure that it wouldn't take him more than a few seconds. I wanted him in the living room with me.

I didn't need to hide my smile when Dad set down his beer and stepped into the powder room for a second after seeing what I wanted to watch. I know guys can pee more quickly than girls, but still the toilet flushed way too soon. There wasn't enough time for him to pee, but more than enough time for him to adjust himself. When he came back out, I pointed out that I was old enough to watch the show, and asked if he minded. He was clearly shaken, but said it would be OK. I glanced at his crotch before he sat down in his recliner, and there was a definite bulge. I wondered how big it would be later.

He finished his first beer quickly, which worked out rather well as far as I was concerned. It wasn't unusual for me to get something for myself and offer to get him something while I was up. This time, I was made it clear that I doing it for him and getting something for myself appeared to be an afterthought. When he didn't respond to my comment about liking beer, it just confirmed my suspicion that he knew there had been some at the parties I'd gone to in the past year or two. My assurance that I never had 'too much' at the parties was true. Mom had told me to be careful about drinking. Dad had told me why: when he was in high school some of his friends would get girls drunk so they could get into their pants. When I asked if I could have beer with him I pointed out that there weren't any boys with raging hormones. I don't know if Dad noticed that I intentionally overlooked the man in the room with too much blood in the wrong head.

I'm not sure who was more turned on as the show continued. The bulge in his pants became more prominent, but my nipples were up and I could feel the moisture between my legs. I was slightly embarrassed when I heard him gasp behind me when he came back to the living room with the next round of beers. I wasn't even aware that I was tweaking my nipple until I heard his reaction. I got over my embarrassment quickly, knowing what I was hoping to have happen later. I gave him a sheepish grin has he handed me the bottle (my second and he was holding his third). From that point on, we were both more aware of each other - I was watching him squirm, and frequently caught him looking at me. I didn't realize that I was practically masturbating in front of him until I read about it in his story. I just remember feeling very horny during the last part of the show.

I had a slight head-rush when I got up from the couch after the show, so I stretched to get my blood flowing. After the dizziness passed, I realized that I didn't seem to feel the beer. When I got to the powder room however, I discovered that my modesty threshold had shifted considerably. Sober, I may have been willing to leave the door slightly ajar while I peed (Joan probably wouldn't have considered even that). After the two beers (or maybe because of the show), I left the door completely open when I dropped my shorts and panties to the floor. I couldn't see Dad, but I knew that he could see me as I intentionally stretched again before sitting on the toilet. As I was wiping myself I decided to not bother pulling up my pants. When I was scheming I had decided that I should be naked when I told Dad what I wanted. Initially, I had planned on undressing in my room. Since the shorts and panties were already around my ankles, I simply stepped out of them and kicked off my shoes. I grabbed them as I stood up. My top didn't even cover my navel, so he had a clear view of both my bush and butt. I had to imagine that I was still dressed to calmly walk by Dad on the way to my room. His eyes were glued to my pubes as I walked toward him and I assume there were glued to my ass after I passed. I dropped my shorts and panties in the hamper as I passed it. I bent at the waist to put the shoes under my bed and peeked between my legs. Dad was adjusting himself again while admiring the view I was giving him. After having walked past him naked from the waist down, taking my top off was easy. I was facing him, but again acted as if I wasn't aware he could see me as I unbuttoned it and threw it into the hamper with the rest of my clothes.

The next minute or two would determine if my 'plan' worked. Completely naked, I returned to the living room and asked, "Where are we sleeping?"

Dad is rarely surprised by anything I do, but this entire evening was an exception. This moment was the high point. He was clearly shaken, but gave the answer I was expecting - that we would both sleep in our own beds. I then made my intentions clear, stating that I was standing naked in front of him for a reason. I explained how becoming 'Beth' had changed me, and the way I felt about him. I mentioned the comments my friends had made about him being hot and how Joan didn't see it, but I did. I know that I was flattering him, but everything I said was true. I also mentioned my fooling around with David. I admitted that the beer was part of my plan, and that it had worked for me. The obvious bulge in his pants was definitely a good sign, and I had no shame in pointing it out to him.

He admitted that he looked at me differently than he had looked at Joan. It wasn't until he said this that I realized how large a risk I had taken in proceeding as I had. I thought seducing him would be a sure thing, but if he still viewed me as 'his little girl' he would never have considered giving me what I wanted. I could tell that he was struggling with himself, so I knew I had a good chance of winning him over. I was surprised by his question about how far things had gone between David and me, but I sat down on the coffee table and told him about it. I'm not sure why I said the bit about swallowing because we were in his car; it just seemed easier to describe it that way. I honestly liked giving head and didn't mind the taste. I told him about David going down on me the one time, but I didn't say anything about (not) cumming. I did confess that I didn't let him do it a second time because I was afraid that we would end up going all the way if he did. I don't know if Dad was thinking about the Meatloaf song when I told him about it. If he was, he didn't mention it then (or in his story).

He then told me a little about his experience with Mom and oral sex. He liked going down on her, and she'd blow him but he was pretty sure she only did it because she felt obligated. He had cum in her mouth once, and she insisted that he tell her whenever he was close to so she could stop before he did it again. She also didn't like to taste herself and wouldn't even kiss him after he had gone down on her. I don't know of anyone who can think about their parents having sex without feeling uncomfortable about it, even though they know that they wouldn't exist without it. Talking with a parent about ORAL sex is even more awkward. The conversation that evening wasn't as bad for me as it might have been. In my mind, it was more about him having sex with me than about him and Mom.

It was fun talking about sex with him - it kept making me hornier. Just sitting there on the coffee table naked in front of him was erotic. He tried to keep his eyes on my face, but they kept drifting south to my tits or pussy before jumping back to my face. He gawked when I told him about David going down on me. Without thinking about it, I had started spreading my legs when I mentioned spreading them for David. Dad couldn't seem to rip his eyes from my crotch which suddenly got even more wet. It was obvious where he was looking, and I quickly realized why. I had caught myself before I had opened my outer lips, barely. Instead of closing my legs, I dropped a hand to my lap in false modesty. Once my hand was there, I couldn't resist the impulse to slip a finger into my slit (where it stayed while I finished telling Dad about David's attempts to satisfy me). I removed the hand from my lap and licked my finger to demonstrate the fact that I liked how I tasted. This time I was aware of the fact that I was practically masturbating in front of him.

I finally latched onto the fact that we were both into oral sex, and threw it out there. "Since we both like oral sex, we could start with that." It was like I had flipped a switch that disconnected his brain and let his cock took over.

Without a word, he stood up and walked to the master bedroom, undressing as he went. I followed him and sat on the end of the bed while he continued to the master bath. His clothes ended up in a neat pile next to the hamper. He left the door to the master bath open, so I was able to watch him pee (returning the favor?) from where I was sitting. I called to him, "I knew guys could pee standing up, but this is the first time I've seen it. I can now see why guys aren't as careful about making sure there's always TP." As he flushed, I pulled down the covers and was waiting for him as he walked over.

Dad's penis looked different than David's. The first thing I noticed was that it was longer. There was some stuff about circumcision in Sex Ed., but I didn't really pay much attention to it. I was interested in penises, but not in the clinical terms used in class. Like everyone else in the room, I also didn't want to think about them at all when adults were around. The head of David's cock was always at least partially covered by a flap of skin (when he deflated after I blew him, the head was completely hidden under the foreskin). The head of Dad's cock was completely exposed (even when he isn't hard, but I didn't find that out until the next day ; ). The skin covering the upper half of his penis had a different texture than the base, and the head was different from both. The tip had a texture kinda like crushed velvet. The upper part of the shaft was silky smooth, like lips. The skin on the rest of his shaft was like the skin on the rest of his body (with curly black hair at the base). It takes a while to explain something that I observed in a fraction of a second.