All Comments on 'What's Your Insult?'

That ought to light some fires. Can't disagree with any of it. You just illustrated what is wrong with online society, and a lot of offline. Everybody hates everybody and civility is dead.

Well written review! This is not surprising since you are one of the best writers on this site.

5

My Dad, long since passed, taught me an invaluable lesson…He/She speaks with the authority of ignorance, so consider thee source and ignore it. This wisdom has served me well and allowed me great peace of mind.

Please Randi continue to bless us with your talents

Thank You

Very well written. I do not believe anyone who posts anything they have written should get bad comments. Maybe if people stopped and questioned why they lack the intelligence or common sense to not read things that offend them they might not need the insults and negative comments. I have tried writing fiction, I can not do it well enough to get much of a rating. That does not I do not appreciate the courage and effort people use to entertain us for free.

If people cannot even put their name to insulting negative comments then they are best ignored like insect pests or barking dogs. As you so delightfully put it an insult or negative comment means nothing unless it poses an immediate physical threat.

Agree mostly with what you've written, except you stereotype folks / categorize them and then offer your own insults. Calling people racist or homophobic to make a point, puts you in the same category of people who really are that way. Insecurity MAY be a motivation, but it certainly isn't the only one and to suggest it is, well, that's insulting! : )

Good analysis of these type of commenters. Some stories do deserve some negative comments, let's not deny that, but some of these people can go too far. It's the anonymity that gives them this power to express their anger in this way. The incels are some of the worse commenters, you see them all the time in the LW section. I've rarely had to leave a negative comment, and even when I did, I never try to be too nasty about what I need to say. Most of the time I just leave a low star rating and move on. You can't get rid of these people, but the best you can do is to just ignore them.

A 5* opinion piece from you, Randi.

I have formed the opinion that many people who use "cuck" or "cuckold" as insults really have little idea what those terms might mean. Examples that helped me form this conclusion are accidental variations such as "cuckhold" or one that made me wonder if the insulter believed it to be some sort of tantric martial art move when they used the term "cock hold."

Great essay Randi, thanks for that.

It's something I feel like I knew, but never consciously thought about and therefore never shaped into words or coherent thought myself.

Reading it spelled out is great and helps make it more clear for me personally.

Also seems like I'm much more comfortable with myself and the people around me than I might have thought.^^

Never saw the benefit in insulting someone.

I don't have to share your thoughts / beliefs / kinks / whatever. As long as you keep them with yourself and they don't hinder my way of life, do / like what you want.

If someone has to resort to throwing insults they seem to be out of things to contribute to a discussion.

And if someone angers me enough to want to insult them, I stayed longer in their vicinity than I should have.

This also means I'm lucky enough to never have been forced to stay in such company.

I have no idea what I would do then. Most likely use some 'standard' curses/insults without really thinking about them ...

That makes another topic for me to ponder over though.

Something that comes to mind is using things I know to enrage the other person. If I don't know them it makes sense to use what I deem insulting for myself.

But if I know them it sounds much more effective to use their insults regardless of what I think about them.

I mean - I want to insult them in their mindset, right? Unless I wanted to use insulting them as a message to my peers.

Which in turn would make insulting them into upping the morale of my fellows instead of a real insult?

Thinking about it more now, what would get to me would be threats pointed toward my family - which in turn I wouldn't want to hurl toward someone else since it wouldn't be pointed toward them.

If I have a problem with someone, it's between us - so no one else should be pulled into the mess. And like throwing insults is a sign you are out of arguments, needing to include others seems to be a sign you are at your end in that beef with that person too.

Leaving only bodily threats as you mentioned. This definitely is something I would classify as a fear of mine as the integrity of your body (and mind) is a pretty fundamental thing to have in my mind.

But that also means, to even think about threatening those would mean the situation has already escalated on a level that indicates I should have left multiple times over already.

Amen Sister!

You don't think people should disparage poor work by insulting those who read this racially infused diatribe. I think the elevated status you enjoy has gone to your head. I'm sure you're familiar with the phrase, take a look in the mirror. As for someone insulting a story I've submitted, it affects me not, for I don't live by their words but mine. Furthermore, writing stories for Literotica is not who and what I am, it's a silly hobby. If people like my stories all the better, if not I lose no sleep over it. Before you delete this comment because it's listed as anonymous consider the fact that when you do add your name those who decide they don't like criticism of any kind then go after your stories in an effort to destroy you. The word cuckold is not derived from black men being with another man's white wife. It began in England long before you were a twinkle in any of your ancestors' eyes. I agree, insults aren't necessary, but not all criticism is an insult.

I agree to disagree, Randi!

Wow! Didn't you read the rules saying thought provoking wrightings can't be posted on this site? :-)

Very interesting. I disagree with some of what you wrote, but find that most of my disagreement comes from either my lack of social exposure or my unwillingness to acknowledge those people exist. I do like how your choice of vocabulary pushes my brain to understand something much more complex than, "He's a cuck!". Truely a 5-star work. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Nicely done.

SUPER! Hit the nail on the head. Unfortunately, those who should read and benefit from this story won't. The world would be a much, much better place if we adopted a "live and let live" policy but humans refuse to do that for the reasons so eloquently outlined in this work.

I think you’re awesome

I feel bad for you that people get so personal. Just keep in mind that the folks that do this must be living a seriously miserable life to get pleasure from insulting other people. Keep up the good work.

Well said!

To-the-point. As you said, “By insulting someone else, I attempt to raise my status by lowering theirs.” This is unfortunately the subterrainian level that our politics as well as our social and mass media today have sunk to. As someone who recently posted on a “social” website, “…a type of cognitive bias where people with little expertise or ability assume they have superior expertise or ability. This overestimation occurs as a result of the fact that they don’t have enough knowledge to know they don’t have enough knowledge.”

Very well said, good sir. Agree 100%.

Well said.

Personally, I tend to avoid signing up for online sites unless I must, which is why I appear here as "Anonymous" (my name is Gerald Harris). It is also negligent of me to often skip over rating stories. That having been said, I have found many of your stories to be deeply moving. The erotic aspect could IMHO be even further downplayed, your stories don't need it to be engaging and readable.

Although I disagree with the comment above that "Everybody hates everybody and civility is dead", I fully understand that it can seem that way. The trolls tend to have louder voices and have a driving need to vent their bile. When a dialog - online or otherwise - starts moving in that direction, the good people will often simply go elsewhere.

Your essay is thoughtful and makes some excellent points - bravo for taking a public stand! The only criticism that I can offer is <ParodyAlert> the fact that you don't invest more time and effort - say 24/7 - to satisfying the reading gluttony of your fans. </ParodyAlert> Oh, and the fact that you "hew" to a line :-). It is always a pleasure, when I see that you have posted a new story. Many thanks for you help to assuage my reading addiction.

Great essay Randi, thanks for that.

It's something I feel like I knew, but never consciously thought about and therefore never shaped into words or coherent thought myself.

Reading it spelled out is great and helps make it more clear for me personally.

Also seems like I'm much more comfortable with myself and the people around me than I might have thought.^^

Never saw the benefit in insulting someone.

I don't have to share your thoughts / beliefs / kinks / whatever. As long as you keep them with yourself and they don't hinder my way of life, do / like what you want.

If someone has to resort to throwing insults they seem to be out of things to contribute to a discussion.

And if someone angers me enough to want to insult them, I stayed longer in their vicinity than I should have.

This also means I'm lucky enough to never have been forced to stay in such company.

I have no idea what I would do then. Most likely use some 'standard' curses/insults without really thinking about them ...

That makes another topic for me to ponder over though.

Something that comes to mind is using things I know to enrage the other person. If I don't know them it makes sense to use what I deem insulting for myself.

But if I know them it sounds much more effective to use their insults regardless of what I think about them.

I mean - I want to insult them in their mindset, right? Unless I wanted to use insulting them as a message to my peers.

Which in turn would make insulting them into upping the morale of my fellows instead of a real insult?

Thinking about it more now, what would get to me would be threats pointed toward my family - which in turn I wouldn't want to hurl toward someone else since it wouldn't be pointed toward them.

If I have a problem with someone, it's between us - so no one else should be pulled into the mess. And like throwing insults is a sign you are out of arguments, needing to include others seems to be a sign you are at your end in that beef with that person too.

Leaving only bodily threats as you mentioned. This definitely is something I would classify as a fear of mine as the integrity of your body (and mind) is a pretty fundamental thing to have in my mind.

But that also means, to even think about threatening those would mean the situation has already escalated on a level that indicates I should have left multiple times over already.

An outstanding expose of how our society is now operating especially with the shield of anonymity. It is, in my mind, very similar to the flagrant exhibition of "road rage" that is so prevalent today. It is almost like they would like to eliminate from humanity anyone who does not agree with them, supposing that that would make this a better world.

Here's to civility and kindness to all.

I try to comment sparingly and if I do not like something, I choose my right to scroll on. There is nothing gained by insulting a writer whose work or person you find fault with except to express your own insecurity.

I hope the trolls do not affect those brave enough to share.

WELL DONE !

Thanks for answering a couple of questions for me. BTW, there’s worse things in life you can do than go tilting at windmills.

All little trolls hide behind their keyboards..GOOD FOR YOU

I agree you are one of the best writers on this site. It does seem like someone really pushed your button though, to provoke this. I hope you don't let it continue to distract you. Maybe revisit this in a few months and see if you feel the same way?

Good to hear from you, Mrs. Quixote. An excellent essay that will go way over the heads of those for whom it is intended.

Civility is dying worldwide. The commenters on Literotica--particularly Loving Wives--and social media are leading the charge to this trend.

As a veteran writer on this site, I thank you for your efforts on our behalf.

Hooked

Was going to comment that as usual this is well written, but I see that someone already stated that position. Additionally, the amount of time/thought that went into this piece is amazing.

As an aside, I perhaps Literotica could create a separate category for cuckold stories as there seems to be an abundance of them.

Well said

I always enjoy reading the comments my stories receive. There are times when I wonder if a particular reviewer actually read the story, but for the most part, the reviews are helpful. Of course, the classic “cuck shit” doesn’t say much, but the reviewer is free to express themselves. Personal attacks are completely waisted on me because I simply don’t care what the attacker thinks of me. Perhaps I’m not the brightest bulb on the porch, but I have trouble understanding why reviewers go after authors and then fail to review the story.

Thanks for your efforts BR. You seem to have many more followers than detractors, but the detractors are a vocal bunch, who I believe should be ignored.

The nice thing about Lit is that the abused and insulted writer can trundle off to the comments section and send the offending text quickly to the "dustbin of history."

Any reading of literature shows that the trolls have been with us since the beginning. If writers are demented, then trolls are doubly demented and that's life!

Thoughtful piece

I find it difficult to get into the mindset of much of the insult-strewing that goes on here, and you've posed an interesting argument as to causes and aspects of the practice (it does seem to be a practice.) Not being an anthropologist, it does seem the business has something to do with status and marking and feeling superior.

"Ha! Take that you imbecile! And I'll give you a one star as punishment too!" (Cannot imagine another writer doing this.)

What I yearn for, more than the disappearance of the brainless 'cuck shit' phrase (employed by those readers in LW with only the most twisted notion of cuckoldry), is at least some imagination in the insult-industry. A recent book, the Art of Verbal Warfare, might be instructive (can't wait to get to it). Thanks for your musings....

Very perceptive analysis of the "cuck" syndrome - you articulated it better than I have been able to do

My insult: Don't have one. When I criticize something that an author has put in a story it usually because (s)he has included something that established science says is impossible, and it spoils the story to a certain degree if not altogether. By "spoiling the story" I should add "for me" Sometimes other commenters echo my unhappiness with the use of certain memes, e.g., locating a virgin's hymen inches inside the vagina. I can never fully enjoy a defloration scene when the guy's dick is finally stopped by the hymen four inches deep particularly when it makes no difference in the characters' experience of the event.

I get tired of the formulaic Loving Wive stories which are improbable accounts of the husband's brilliant revenge on a cheating wife - I don't read them unless I get curious about what tricks this husband is going to inflict on his wife, how good his life has become, what a fine woman he has just married, and how miserable his ex-wife now is. Self-flagellation on my part, I suppose.

Anyway - please keep at it. I read your work and any piece that you have helped edit, although I usually read the authors you work with

Agreed and very well said!

Thanks for your thinking. Don't hold back! Your stories, and I've read a fair number, assert our common humanity, common honest respect for what a person can do in the face of challenges. And that differences can be good and spicy!

If I don't like a story on this site, I won't even rate it or make a comment. I immediately move on and try to find something that I do like. I give good ratings to those I like to encourage more of the same. Positive comments always work better on people than negative comments. I think almost every author of the stories on this site deserve tolerance if not appreciation for their efforts to entertain others.

In my not so humble opinion no one who has not written and published a story is not qualified to criticize another. Even if they are also writers then offer advice not personal attacks. I am not a writer but read avidly and really enjoy your style. Thanks for all the hours of entertainment you have given me and may 2023 be an awesome year for you!

You forgot to mention that your hypothetical incendiary comment must be posted anonymously. I agree with your commentary, but I would also note that othering and insulting is certainly not a new phenomenon, nor is it something restricted to white males, though I agree with your take that that aspect is much more dominant these days, as changes in society have reduced dominance by that (which is also my, btw) group. In my own circles, even trying to have a conversation about gender or racial privilege often leads to tension, disbelief and anger. Being older, I have lived through many radical changes in group perspectives, from the civil rights movement to changes in feminist theory to the development of identity politics, and so on, and each of these has of course been met with a corresponding backlash, though each has also led, in my opinion, to a significant bettering overall. Internet forums have long been hotbeds for angry grievance airing and Literotica certainly fits right into that, with the sexual spin adding that particular spice. My favorite comments of the ilk you describe are the ones where the poster makes clear that they didn't actually read the whole story (because what would be the point?) but were still compelled to comment. Thanks as always for your perspective and your writing.

It's probably pretty similar to what causes so many writers to start their stories by adding an author's forward that is nothing but insulting the readers.

Next, I would point out to the writer that they are just as anonymous as all of the other writers hiding behind a fake name and useless profile. Some of us are simply honest enough to use the anonymous moniker for their anonymous comments.

Also, if it wasn't for the insulting comments, the Loving Wives category would lose 90% of its submissions. Seriously, look at the submissions that clearly should be put in Fetish, Interracial, Gay Male, NonConsent, etc. Now, ask yourself why would these writers deliberately submit themselves to the abuse that is the trademark of comments in Loving Wives when they could post them in the correct category and get more favorable ratings and comments. The simple truth is that most of these writers want the comments. Some like the feeling of writing something that generates that much emotion, no matter which emotion it is. Others, and I suspect that the writer of this article falls into this one, get off on the power of deleting comments and controlling the discussion. Posting in the correct category and having the discussion follow that same flow naturally steals those feelings of power and control from them.

So, in summary, the insulting comments within Loving Wives are a self-fulfilling prophecy brought about by writers such as the above.

Interesting! I had never encountered the concept of 'cuck' before I started reading stories online about infidelity. And to be honest in most of the stories I have read the 'Bulls' who took the wife or girlfriend thereby creating the cuck were often as not richer white men, bosses or similar rather than being of a different race. Yes I have read some of the stories involving the racist concept of black bulls/larger cocks ect. This is the first time I have encountered the term 'incel' but I am not in the habit of reading the comments in any case. I just enjoy the stories, yours included.

What's my insult? I don't have one.

If I am not interested in the category of a story, I move on to another story.

If I am interested in the category but the description is vague, badly worded, grammatically incorrect, has spelling and/or punctuation errors, or is just a duplication of the story title, I move on to another story.

If I start reading a story and think it is bad, I stop reading it and move on to another story.

If I finish reading a story, I give it an honest rating and then move on to another story.

I very rarely leave comments; I would rather spend my time reading another story.

When I do comment on a story, I do so anonymously because I cannot remember the user name and password I created over ten years ago.

And I think there are lots of readers just like me.

To all you public school graduates who can’t understand the the difference between an insult and a criticism, I recommend suing your teachers! Real writers appreciate criticism. The problem arises when one is incapable of being critical of a work without being insulting. Frankly that more clearly indicates your failure as a human being, than an author’s shortcomings as a writer!

This is a very good, well-reasoned essay. Thanks for sharing.

I post as Anonymous because, to be honest, I have lost the password to my account and can't seem to reactivate it.

If I had huge praise for, or a major beef with, a story, I usually send a message directly to the author in order to work it out. I made my best friend through such a private conversation.

Every book, Every Film, Every Play. Every publication in the history of human history has critics and is criticised for something be it the writing or the wording or the content or the message behind the product. Everything is criticised Literotica is like everything else. It is a place where people write their life story or they write their Fantasy or they write thier nightmare. But one persons Fantasy is another person's nightmare and vice versa.

Insults from everyone and anyone is normal its life. You accept it or you don't.

As for your idea on "Cuckoldry"? In my personal opinion I can not imagine a more uneven lifestyle. The woman in the relationship gets everything can do anything go anywhere. The man in the relationship can only do what the woman in the relationship wants him to do.

So any fantasy/nightmare that someone writes about an unfair relationships is going to be open to criticism. The war of "cuckold" vs "non cuckold" stories will continue as long as this site allows it. Personally I wish there was a category simply called "Cuckoldry" and every story that involves "Cuckoldry" goes in that category that way there is no ambiguity.

Well done for listing all the problems that writers have to contend with.

I've been saying for years that anonymous comments should not be allowed. It allows people to be intentionally cruel even if not deserved. If you have to sign your name to it, you think twice before submitting the comment... thus, I think that you missed the point of intentionally being cruel... some people are just unacceptable!

I've enjoyed many of your writings... some of them aren't my taste... I read the ones I like and ignore the ones I don't. I give good marks and comments for the ones I like, and don't grade the ones not to my taste... I don't feel it fair to give bad marks for something I don't like the content. I appreciate your pointing out personal taste being a real thing!

Having said that, sometimes I (in the interest of CONSTRUCTIVE criticism) may give a suggestion such as "you may find an editor helpful", but generally, I believe that being given the content for free, I should be grateful that the artists are willing to share this with me.

Being unnecessarily mean, insulting or cruel doesn't really have a place in my life. My philosophy is to be kind to everyone until they prove they don't deserve it... then it's on!

I admire the author, but I feel her brush might be a bit wide. I don’t harbor any I’ll will towards gays or lesbians. I like lesbians very much. I was at a function in a gay bar, and apparently I was attractive to quite a few gay men even though my inclination is straight. I am also white as Casper your friendly ghost, and don’t have I’ll will towards black folks either. My last two girlfriends were black as coal! Btw, they both treated me better than white women I have dated!. So I don’t think the broad brush of white male attitude is as prevalent as folks think. I sometimes throw in interracial sex into a story just to piss bigots off! I have noticed that the trolls have gotten out of hand recently. I rarely remove comments but I was forced to on two different times and two different stories. The comments were way over the line. I was surprised the L/E didn’t remove them first, but stuff gets through I suppose.

As for cuckold stuff, why don’t they just create a new category just for that stuff that so many of us really dislike intensely? There are still plenty of stories for Loving Wives that do not disgust the vast majority of readers, and cuckold afficianados could still get their jollies. I started writing because a cuck story upset me to no end. I wrote Pillow as a direct opposition to a cuck story. I recognize that many folks LIKE that sort of thing, but I don’t want to read it, even by accident! We all have our own likes and dislikes and perhaps we all have our own “triggers” as well.

I look forward to reading your next story, they always entertain me. 5 stars.

Its like social media - people love to leave comments when there's no responsibility for leaving them - hence the "anonymous" name. I enjoy reading and am in amazement of those who can write, I'm fortunate to string two paragraphs together. Some authors are amazing and have an eye, or hand, for details, while others are just learning.

Odd that cuckold stories are so popular when most of us wouldn't enjoy being one.

Oh, and as for "fear" - yes. many men (including commenters) have a legitimate fear that in the modern legal Western climate, they will be "priviledged" to be fucked over by in-justice system in case of divorce, or a random spurious allegation of sexual misconduct, since these days men are guilty until proven innocent and really not even then since they are evil just because they are wrong sex and race. So yes, any sign by the author or commenters to support infidelity - and dislike it being punished - is seen quite legitimately as a threat. Of course, women don't give a fuck since if a guy cheats on them, they win in court AND in court of public opinion, and still have a pretty good life post-divorce if they married a man with a job. Try exercising some empathy for once.

I pretty much discount the whole “woke” theory. And I believe if you knew me personally you would not see either a racist or a homophobe. In other words I think you painted with a pretty broad brush.

I enjoyed your words, as usual, but I also fear you have, by the attention given, elevated the trolls. You have cast a light on them when they need to stay in darkness.

I didn't know what to expect from your post. I agree the comments often are rude and crude. If you don't like the subject matter skip it . I Don't know about posting stuff for ratings, but it is your cup of tea so be it . The folks that critique the writing, editing and spelling should get a life. This isn't grade school. Simply read it and say yes I liked it or no I didn't. To many people are taking online writing classes to make them better writers, which is fine. But that doesn't make you an authority on writing. Learn to appreciate someone's effort to be creative at writing or sharing a story. I've read enough to see where someone read someone else's then wrote the exact same thing just adding what they felt it was missing. It is kind of funny to think writing and posting on Literotica is an award winning best seller. It's really just eroticism and what someone may find erotic or there fantasy. In some cases they are real stories. If it was all about grammar no one would do it. That's my two cents on the subject

Nicely stated.

Interesting perspective but I have to side with the general population. Generally, we all are appreciative of the many authors who do submit their efforts. However when certain authors submit stories to entice and enrage the general population of readers, they get and deserve negative comments.

I have to disagree with your assessment of "cuck" being culturally racist.

In modern literature, IE on this site, yes, it has become something of a racist theme.

However, culturally cuckolding was not racist, at least not historically.

It was simply the term for a man who was being cheated on by his wife. It has, in recent times, taken on a totally different context in literature in so far as it is usually a white woman with a black lover who has a superhuman sized cock. I say superhuman because the average black man only averages 7 inches, which is only 1 inch more than the average white man. Bear in mind that both black and white men can and do have cocks that are bigger, or smaller, than that average.

Also, the modern habit of erotic writers humiliating and denigrating the cuckolded husband and rubbing his nose in the infidelity of the wife is not historically accurate either.

As for the insults, they make about as much sense as the trolls who look at every cuckold story on here and give it a 0 or 1 star rating because it is a cuckold story, even though they knew it was a cuckold story even before they read it. Same goes for readers who pass their moral judgement on the "Fictional" characters, and make suggestions as to how they should fix their "Fictional" marriage.

I think you insulted a group of people, very intentionally, by claiming anyone who objected to the term “woke” as being “racist, sexist and homophobic”. I don’t fit into any of those categories.

I’m not sure the purpose of this essay was, other than a desire to insult straight white men and anyone else who doesn’t see things your way. I guess that the best I can say is your essay had no point but to unintentionally highlight your own hypocrisy. You write an essay decrying insults, but insulting others.

Overall, I enjoy your writing and I have commented as such on several occasions, but you missed the mark on this one.

Well written. Unfortunately, the people who could most benefit from this insightful piece are likely not self-aware enough to consider it as anything but a direct attack on (what they might consider) their “legitimate opinion”. Just for irony’s sake, I want to give you a 1 star review because you haven’t acknowledged that I am a far superior human being that everyone should listen to instead of you!

- KM

I feel a need to add my two cents worth here. Many of the instances you cite are why I don't allow anonymous commentary. If people don't have the backbone to sign their name, I won't accept what they have to say. In the stories I choose to submit, here, I've never used the word "cuck", not even once. If I leave a derogatory comment to a story, it's usually because of poor grammar, or violence toward women in catagories not given to that sort of thing. I do admit to being called upon the carpet for commenting poorly on some stories, but, in fact, stand by most of my comments. On the whole, I'm in agreement with nearly 100% of this essay. As usual, you have struck a chord in some people, who don't like being showed for what they are.

Really agree but 98% of my stars are 4 or five and very few 1 or 2's because i read what i like.

As in so much of life, the person's that we hope to enlighten (or simply lay out factual information) rarely accept anything outside of their own preconceived or derived universal view. I no longer expend my energy on them - until or unless it affects me or those I care about.

Pretty broad strokes. I always laugh at the cuck thing. Who would truly care if she sleeps with someone else, so be it find a new one. How it is a reflection on you as a man baffles me personally.

I have always wondered about the cuckold thing, it seems to me it is insulting to be the black bull, but it's okay because you are getting laid? Just a weird kink I do not get.

Woke culture is a fad with no point and their is no real threat to most people it is an ideology with no purpose. It is not based in reality or fact it is all feelings. Just like most nonsense that is why it is so frustrating because it lacks logic.

Most of these topics are about as important as if your a democrat or republican. No one is going to change anyone's mind and it doesn't really matter.

Thank you Randi for your words. Many of us who visit this site do so for honest reasons, regardless of the type of stories - we enjoy the story. The abusers are only here to have an audience to their anal attempts at attacking someone without fear of retribution. They are little children and are sad, pathetic individuals.

I am a constant reader of the tales here and I revere the talented writers here. Thank you all.

somewhere east of Omaha

In order for the insults to be effective, I would have to care about what these morons think. As it is, interacting with people like that is simply a waste of my time.

Seems like a typical modern day rant. Everything's got to be racist or homophobic or the fault of "angry entitled white men" I think you're just seeing what you want to see in the comments sections and fitting it to your view of society.

Since you correctly state "Ah well, such is life. Insults have little power to harm" Then why even bother to write your rant?

It's just insane to hurl abuses, insults, and what have you, if you do not like or kind of disagree with the content.

On the other hand, the myriad topics addressed in Lit does open up possibilities for major disagreements. It's rather rare to have a person uniformly adaptive to all kinds of things we read here.

So, there would be an occasional (OK, frequent) hurl of unparliamentary language. But, that is where the moderation comes in.

I found your dissertation on insults quite enlightening and you seem to be more right than wrong. There is an innate need to criticize as it's easier to criticize and find fault than it is to praise and find right, that why everyone, not quite everyone, finds fault with whatever. As far as the LGBTQ community is considered I choose not to associate with but I do consider them abnormal with hurling in epithets or derogatory remarks. In case any one disputes me calling members of the LGBTQ abnormal, they make of less than 2% of the population therefore they are not of the norm in relation to the population being considered normal. As far as prejudices go and what I witnessed growing up in San Francisco I used to have a slight prejudice against blacks as I was beat up a couple times by a black and I am white but I did learn that not all blacks go around beating up whites. I actually have more of bad opinion of Hispanics because of what observed in junior high school and later on what I observed as adult diving thru my old neighborhood. The actions of the Hispanics in those two instances were very distasteful and I abhorred them. Enough said on that subject, live and let live they say but don't throw your lifestyle in my face and I won, throw mine in yours.

It's a sad commentary on the human condition that someone of your talent needs to defend themselves from all the bullshit slinger your way. For sure, some of your commentary was painted with a broad stroke, but at the heart of it is the truth. Readers that rant about this or that on this site are revealing their own shortcomings. While not always successful, I do try to provide relevant, constructive comments to writers. Where I see talent, I try to point out areas for improvement in both style and content. Partially inspired by you, I have reached out to a few writers with promise and offered to help in editing. It's a small way I can give back to this community. Keep doing what you're doing and I look forward to more of your work in 2023! 5*

Agree 100%. Much of the problem is the anonymity the web provides. I compare these idiot commenters to "keyboard warriors" so rampant in news articles. Then there are the men who are so insecure it's about their sex life and penis size they feel the need to label ANY LW main character as a cuck if he even thinks about reconciliation let alone expressing any remaining love for his cheating wife. So many bitter men out there. So sad. Course, I've been happily married for 35 years. Finally, I still appreciate the irony of commenting negatively on stories they read for FREE.

It still amazes me how many people bother going on Lit or other social media just to (Often anonymously) insult or try to hurt people. Many must act reasonably in their everyday lives and then this hidden, nasty side comes out when they're sat at a keyboard, it's actually quite sad.

Interesting. Not sure if the use of the word hue was correct as I haven't encountered it used like that. I believe I have never been able to give you less than 5 stars for anything you have written , and this is no exception.

To each his own.

You're wrong on one thing: Insults do have power to harm, if words become reality,

I still don't understand why anonymous comments are allowed. If you don't like a story, just stop reading. It's like real life, if you don't like the look of a person, don't look. No harm is done.

But, sadly, good manners in comments, respect for the works of the authors seems very difficult for some individuals...

As usual, 5 stars

And just like that an anonymous troll throwing out insults at Randi. I personally don’t understand public insults about something that cost me nothing and is a gift from the author. If I have a question or concern about a plot point, I write the author privately. And goodness, for me to criticize something I personally cannot do, makes no sense. Ban anonymous comments

Very thought provoking piece. I’ve seen examples of the overlap between misogyny and racism in comments on my stories. I refuse to let such vitriol remain and delete the comments but, unfortunately, I cannot delete the ideas and beliefs in the writers’ twisted brains.

Well said, and needs repeating since there are too many people ready to falsely raise their ego by by atto degrade others!

Personally, I find the world to be a big enough place to have my own opinions and to allow others to have theirs. I do believe that the ability to hide behind an anonymous 'nom de guerre' is cowardly, but since authors have the ability to block anonymous comments, it is not that big of an issue.

My biggest complaint is with 'non-constructive' criticism. Pointing out errors in grammar, syntax, continuity, plot, characterization, dialogue, colloquial expressions, etc. are fair game. Shouting "you suck" crosses a line. Too many of the comments fall into the latter category.

We all are getting a free venue to write, read, learn, and discuss these stories.

Just remember, you get what you paid for.

Well said, Randi. Those Annies who hide behind a keyboard and hurl insults don't realize they're showing their own immaturity and insecurities to all who read them, thereby devaluing their own comments and not the works of the recipients of their verbal spew. Thank you.

I fail to understand the difference between those who register with a pseudonym, fill out a fictional biography then post "cuck shit" and an anonymous person doing the same.

I also don't believe authors are qualified to diagnose the mental status of anyone posting a comment regardless of their "handle".

I applaud this sites policy of open posting of comments. And abhor those who would limit the speech of anyone posting on LW as long as they are within the generous limits established by those who manage the site.

Grow up, folks.

It's a writer's celebration when he/she gets praise for their writing... it's a writer's curse when they get criticised... that is just how it is for all writers who publish... but, if you have a thin skin and can only take the praise but not the criticism then don't publish what you write.

AMEN!

Some very good points. One needs to understand the difference between offering a critique of a story versus insulting a story or an author. I never understood the vitriol exhibited by some while causing a comment. What happened to civility?

If you can't be civil in your critique, I suggest simply following the old school adage: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. No one should be subjected to insults.

Happy New Year!

G

It must get old quickly for authors to be personally insulted because of a posted story. Appreciate your stories and your thoughts about comments and insults.

I find that 95% of the negative comments come from Anon's or members that have never produced one story. They find it easier to berate, criticize, and make rude comments, than it is to actually write a story. I'd love to see how these individuals would react to their own words. I've learned to enjoy them and have a good laugh, just before I press the delete button.

@CindyTV - How do you know if a person has produced a story or not? The beauty of anonymous posts and fake names on profiles is that I have no idea who you actually are, and you have no idea who I actually am. I doubt that you will believe me, but my writing has been published and, if you knew who I was, you could actually buy the books. No, I'm not going to give out that information on the off chance of you actually buying them.

l believe the worst thing l've ever posted as a comment was "l admire the courage it took to post this" sort of my version of my mommas 'bless your little heart.....'

Love your thoughts on this. I am sorry to say that I have found over my lifetime (68 years) that most folks insult others to feel better about themselves, it's so sad!!!

Long time listener, first time caller... (Couldn't resist) Rarely do I feel the need to comment regardless of the platform, this however strikes a note... If I don't like a story then I will try another story from that author and decide if it is worth considering to continue with their stories... My preference is just that, there is no reason to denigrate as this site should be about enjoyment... If I hate, then I keep it to myself as it to rail against it is the same to me as to kink shame... I like TheArtfulCodger's viewpoint, as authors on this site write for their own reasons, why not let them in peace...

Monk

You're one of my favourite writers here and I really enjoy your stories. I always rate what I read but hardly comment whether praise or critics. I don't comment on other platforms also social media included. The reason is there's so much hate nowadays especially from Americans, they tend to give a label and a colour for everything, those types of insults like you mentioned on your review are their favourites from my observation. I think it's something bigger than commenting on a story for them. Thank you for sharing your work (art) here, I really appreciate it.

I've read on this site for a long time. Honestly, its inspired me to write. There are Alot of talented writers on this site. The thing is all this talent is free. People spending their time crafting stories.

The real problem is that some people, ie a lot of unhappy people, decide their voice Must be heard. They don't like the direction a story went. They don't like the characters. There was one grammtical error. Lets face it those comments might as well say, Pay attention to me-like a toddler. Something isnt centered on them is unforgiveable. Isnt society just for them. How dare people have other ideas. Respect their authority.

Ive been lurking here long enough to see people post threads outside comments on the boards being angry in one case because an author bit back. As if they dont owe an author respect but the author should respect them.

In another a dude was upset that there was a plus sizes woman in one story. It was interesing to watch that dudes brain melt because a story didnt cater to his paticular needs. There was the same chorus. You just cant say anything anymore! No you can. People will call you an asshole, but you can. Again, their comments are king. Their voice is the loudest. They cant stand being called on shitty base level human behavior on a, of a things, porn site. This doesnt scratch the surface on the isms. It spirals downward from here.

The people defending insults as if it should be the norm puzzle me. Yes, lets condemn the person saying insults are shitty instead of the person being an asshole or blatently - insert ism here. It takes zero effort to be kind or hell even neutral.

Ive noticed a lot of this rhetoric in other online spaces. Some of it is the kids are too soft millenials ruin everything kind. Some of it is perpetuated by groups of people who screech about being woke or free speech. Some are just clearly miserable.

Cant ask them to respect someomes gender or sexual orientation yet in the next breath they are shouting about the little mermaid being black. Its all silly. I know people will be people. We are miserable in little ways. Im just not a big believer in insulting people who are doing something we should be grateful for. I respect the hell out of the person who wrote this.

For everyone else proving her point in these comments. No one asked you. Not one person. Not your wife. Not your girlfriend. Not your boss. Not your kids. That kind of , forgive the word choice, impotent rage must kind of suck huh? Being insulting makes you look soft and weak. Its not going to make anyone respect you.

You make a lot of good points in this essay. I have been enjoying your stories. I do read a lot of very off the cuff critical comments. It would be nice to see comments that are carefully considered and relate to writing style, story development, characters, etc.

Well said, I'd love to know how many annie's live in mom's basement.

You make many valid points. There is, however, one annoying issue I have with this site. I don't know if this is the right forum for this, but why the hell are there so many unfinished and abandoned storylines on this site? Blackrandi1958 is not responsible for this, obviously. A certain amount of them are pure mediocre garbage, but many others have/had great potential for continuation. It seems like such a waste. Now, clearly this isn't a major, life threatening crisis, but, don't try to tell me that I'm the only one who's noticed this phenomenon or even the only one upset by it. I really don't have anything further, so I'll shut up now.

Anon on why there are so any unfinished storylines.

I have noticed the same phenomena and until recently never thought too much about it. I have in the past few months come across several cases where it turned out the author is deceased. I gleaned those from reading story comments where acquaintances related the death of the author. Another author had a friend who updated her biography to let Lit. readers know that the author had died. That friend was a friend indeed, who only learned of the author's erotica writing career after she had passed, and was respectful enough of her memory to update the biography and keep her completed work still available to us. Thank you so much to both of them.

I am sure a lot of other authors just got tired of writing, got tired of the abuse which Randi has discussed, or just got busy with other things and drifted away from writing. Maybe a few had been secretly writing erotica and were discovered by a partner who took a dim view of it and persuaded them to cold turkey their literary activities, at least as far as erotic fiction goes. Come to think of it I believe there may even be a few stories on this site with similar premises.

Speaking of Randi I would like to thank her for bringing up the subject of author abuse. No matter what their level of literary ability, at the minimum, all contributors deserve at least a thank you for freely sharing their work with us. Most authors are giving us their best. At times they may have grammatical errors, spelling mistakes, truncated sentences, missing words, extra words, wrong word choices etc. While it is not really possible for anyone but the author to assign the causes for these errors, it seems likely that had the authors the time, knowledge, and proofreading skill or assistance to make corrections, they would do so. Remember also, that there is a lack of proofreaders and beta readers for Lit. submissions, so many authors who request help can't seem to find it. To be sure, there are many ways of getting assistance with spelling and grammar, but none of them are foolproof, and some supposed assistance is in fact just incorrect. To find commentators pointing out flaws in their work must be somewhat discouraging for authors who have tried to get human assistance but were not able to. In that regard I would like to thank Randi, who I seen thanked many times by authors, and all the others who generously give their help by adding fresh eyes to author's submissions. They deserve the author's thanks, and ours too, for giving assistance and counsel to contributors who ask for help. Their mentoring of and comradeship with fellow authors is no small part of what helps sustain this community. Thank you sincerely to all those who assist our authors and help them with the freely given gifts that delight Lit.'s many readers.

I have always found that most people try to put their best effort forward when showing their work to others. By all means, if the author has left commentary open, point out errors and offer suggestions, but don't play School Marm and try and put a birch switch across their behinds. Shaming and name calling was not appropriate in grade school and is no more appropriate or welcome in an adult forum such as this one.

Thanks again Randi, to Anonymous who started me off on this rant, to Lit.'s contributors, and to all those kind and thoughtful and commentators whose afterthoughts on what they have read add immeasurably to the enjoyment of the stories. To the name callers, phobes of one lifestyle or another, BTB fanatics, cuck screamers, and all the other varieties of complainers who cannot be civil, I offer my fullest contempt. These insulters, who mistakenly believe that they distinguish themselves with their bleatings, are in fact despised by the authors they taunt and by the majority of readers, who pay no more attention to their commentary than they would to a dog pissing on a fire hydrant.

"WHAT'S YOUR INSULT?" 5 stars. That's my insult, and there's more where that came from! Thank you Randi for a much needed conversation starter.

I would never insult someone who is taking their time to right a story regardless of whether I like to story or not. I do however become disappointed when a great story teller like yourself leaves me hanging like in Hybrid, Eye in the Sky - Artifact and First Estate. However I will always read what you write even is it isn’t finnished

Unfortunately, any system that allows ratings and comments is open to abuse. When my husband and I wrote for the now defunct stories section of Xham, we would sometimes receive down-votes within a minute or two of a story appearing. No-one could have read it in that time or even skimmed it. I do believe that there is a degree of manipulation going on at Literotica - writers deliberately giving low votes and critical comments to those they view as a challenge to their own standing. Others are just not very nice people but as they say; it takes allsorts to make the world go around.

Personally, I've never received an abusive comment, but did receive a racist rant in response to my Native American story. It was quickly removed by admin when I reported it.

I always try to leave a comment when I've read a story. Complimentary if it was good, constructive criticism if there were issues. I always try to remember that the author has put in a lot if effort that should be respected.

With regard to unfinished stories, I've been bitten so many times that I no longer read stories with chapters. Too often, it is months before another chapter appears, by which time I've lost the plot, or the writer simply abandons the project. When scrolling through the New Stories listing, I simply ignore any with Ch or PT in the title. Yes, I probably miss out on some good stories but at least I'm not left hanging. Likewise, I don't write in chapters. If my story is long it will have a lot of pages.

Uhhh...it takes exactly 10 minutes to create a new email account and register a new name here on Lit.

So...posting under a made up name here or posting anonymous doesn't make one fucking difference.

And someone making a new pseudonym to comment from? Isn't gonna give a flying fuck if she/he pisses someone off and gets nasty emails or hate messages as a response. It probably'd fuel them even more.

If you don't want comments free and open? Then limit who can comment. Or cut off comments completely.

There's no accounting for taste. People like what they like. And hate what they hate.

Calling people cowards. Or labeling them incels because they choose to react negatively to stories you and others publish with the hope of getting feedback? It just seems like you want everyone on the internet to follow the rule from Bambi..."if you can say nothing nice then don't say nothing at all."

Keep dreaming. If you want feedback then be prepared for the praise as well as the insults. Thats just life. And I'm pretty sure you know real life pretty well based on your writing.

And it wouldn't make any difference if I posted this anonymously or under one of my made up names on here. You don't know me and never will.

I pretty much only read one category. And if the story is unrealistic with characters that are unrelatable? Unbelievable? Nonsensical? Completely illogical? Or delusional? Then imma call the bullshit out. The human element in the LW category is fascinating. It's what draws me here. A well written and fleshed out story...full of real human emotions is so good. Some of the best short stories I've ever read are right here. You actually wrote one of my favorite of all time.

Conversely some of the most revolting disgusting horrific pieces of shit I've ever read are front and center in the LW category. They read like badly made snuff films in terms of the cruelty. And most of the time the horrors are perpetrated upon husband's or wives of the protagonists. And much of the time simply sick. And imho they deserve all of the low votes and negative comments.

For me? It doesn't come from a religious judgemental place. I'm agnostic. Barely a believer in anything. The history of organized religion along with 90% of scripture reads like its own set of horror stories. My criticisms come from simply a sense of fairness. I'm pro human being. Dignity. Respect. Positive development and growth. Logic. And I'm not opposed to traditional roles of men and women.

As someone with an advanced degree in the social sciences. I am curious about social roles and different lifestyles, and have read extensively and spoken with dozens of practitoners of different lifestyles. Full time BDSM to polyamorous to couples who are immersed in the swingers lifestyle to hotwife/cuckold. In real life.

And in real life...most of these don't last very long. With the exception of some of the offshoot Mormon polygamists I've met in the Western US...but that's only because the women are so repressed and isolated they can't or won't even try and get out.

Most of the other so called "exciting" lifestyles that get written about here have about a 2 year shelf life max. (I admit that's my own observation only. From my gathered experience. Nothing scientific about it.) Sure there are exceptions. The hotwife and cuckold who are perfectly matched and have been together for 25 years. Or the couple who've been swinging for 40 years into their 60s.

But for everyone of those...there are literally hundreds to thousands of others who've crashed and burned. Hard.

Most of these things aren't like playing with just fire. They are like playing with a swimming pool filled with molten lava in your swim trunks.

Open marriages. Neighborhood swaps. Humiliation for the sake of humiliating your spouse? Families made up of 3 daddies and two mommies?

The chances of any of these relationships surviving and thriving in any kind of healthy way without causing trauma for most involved? Miniscule. So when I see asinine attempts posted glorifying, advocating or justifying? I dunno? I guess my "live and let live" attitude goes out the window? And then I call bullshit. And sometimes I'm not very nice about it. I feel like if a writer is going to insult my intelligence with delusions? Ridiculous plot lines? Plot holes the size a truck can drive through? Or developed characters doing things that make zero sense based on how that character has acted for 10 pages? Then if comments are open? I'm going to call them out.

I realize this is long. But you wrote this piece I think genuinely trying to figure out why some people are critical?

I'm not speaking for anyone else. Just me. And these are my motivations. I don't know why or how I stumbled into the LW category on this website 10 to 12 years ago? I can't even remember?

What I do remember is that my first LW story I ever read here was The Lazy Lemon Sun series by Rehnquist. And it's been mostly downhill since then with some nice exceptions.

So...I'm going to be me. I'm unapologetic. If a story is good. I'm gonna say that and I'm not afraid to vote 5 stars. If it's good but I see some weaknesses? I'm going to point them out and also be grateful for the effort. But if it's just ignorant, ridiculous and delusional? I'm not pulling one god damn punch. I'll be ignorant right back. And if you are a writer here and feel like sharing shit and don't want that kind of feedback? Then close your comments.

Sorry. Not sorry.

I've never understood the use of "woke" as an insult. To me,to be woke is to have your eyes opened to injustice, in whatever form that may take. Why would you want to go through life with your eyes closed?

We have a neighbor who's into deep conspiracy stuff. In person, other than evangelizing, he's a decent, helpful, fun guy. Get him behind a keyboard and he's a terrorist. I wonder how many of the purveyors of insults on Literotica are the same. I don't know but it's curious

One quibble I have with several writers on Literotica is the fact that the cheaters are almost all women. I have abot 5bstories of yours to read and only one so far was the cheater a man. About the same for QHML1 (?). I mean you have the women cheating with a married man, but that's incidental. I don't get it. It can't be that one sided. Anyway, love your stories. They're rich with detail. Your character descriptions begin to sound similar. The guy's a stud and the doll fantastically beautiful. Keep up the good work.