All Comments on 'When Daddy Comes Home'

Your first story, well let’s say it’s horny, but a bit raw.

It’s hard to imagine going as far with your daddy and not waking the boyfriend.

Maybe he and his little dick are both thick?

Nikki, the story was horny, I got wet just thinking about you getting a good fucking, but you need to have more substance in your storyline.

Try slowing it down, write a story where you are treated like a woman, sure end up as a “slut”, but you need to be caressed to this level.

Try writing a story where you are taken to a new experience by another girl/woman, you can imagine how much more gentile your situation would be, yet you can enjoy being the best “slut on earth” if you want to be.

I look forward to reading your next story.

Katie.

I have to say, it was VERY hot. And got my where I needed to be. Although the story wasn't deep on plot, as Katie mentioned. It was perfect for me as I needed pleasure and didn't have very long. I look forward to reading more of your work.

Agree with Katie! This is a good start to your writing. Very hot story, but could use more buildup and backstory. You might want to include and editor in future stories. I look forward to your next entry!

You should lock your legs behind Daddys back when he says he's going to cum, show Ross who you really want to mate and breed with.

Love it raw, keep it that way.

Certainly and arousing story. I found the part when both were fucking you a little implausible from you description.

A good start but as others have mentioned the story needs more building up.