All Comments on 'When Fantasy Becomes Reality'

Most of us probably figure it's all over...except, at the end she yelled at him that she never cheated. Hmmm, it might seem not, probably not but - what happens...you're a good writer, how about it?

When one partner thinks they have out grown the other its usually over, i'm looking foward to the rest. Now husband is the one who needs a life outside of his family.

I guess we could assume the ending. Either she has an epiphany and realizes what she has done OR continues in pulling away from her family. It's too bad that people decide their job outweighs all other considerations. Of course for her there is also the fame factor. The celebrity machine can overwhelm almost anyone. You are wonderful, so talented, anyone who gets in the way of your success is not your friend, want to go to a party, want some drugs? It's a nasty scene.

This is a great story that feels so real. Randy has tunnel vision and is enjoying the achievements that she has made. The only problem was that she really has forgotten her family. Maybe she will wake up but it looks like she may be headed down the path to destruction. Really well written. Thanks for sharing.

Good start, hope they can get it together if she hasn't been screwing around in N.Y.

Must be more chapters....

This is a fine story. It does need resolution. Please?

But the one problem is that the next chapter or chapters aren't posted yet. Please hurry, you've got me hooked. Thanks for your hard work.

but it appears their marriage is heading for the rocks unless she makes a change. That last statement of hers makes one wonder if she isn't in denial, and already crossed the line. Speculation, of course. Unless the author chooses to finish this story, the reader can use his imagination on how this story would have ended. From what we learned so far, something has to give, or it's all over. This story was well written with an interesting and plausible plot. This author has been improving greatly and has come up with some good tales lately. Thanks for entertaining the reader. Your efforts are appreciated.

A very good story with solid characters which makes the reading very believable. Well done and thanks for this chapter and hope to see more soon.

I really hope I do not have to wait too long for the next chapter!!!

But it seemed incomplete. This story illustrates why one should not have kids, in my opinion. I would be interested in another chapter, but if so I hope you will focus on emotional dialog between the husband and wife. Keep the husband strong; that was the best thing about this, the fact that the husband was not too much of a wimp (although he put up with a lot more shit than I would have).

GOOD AS FAR AS IT WENT. LOVED THE IDEA... WHERE IS SOME CLOSURE?

Is there more? A good read, and it seemed to set something up. I agree with some others that it needs closure to be better.

Since there was no mention that this was a continuing story, one must assume that the story ended left hanging. What in the hell are most of the Lit.com writers trying to accomplish? I suspect that they are trying to be cute and think that it is clever to leave a story hanging. Forget about endings...that are so passe. Or...maybe it is to cover up the fact that they cannot write appropriate endings. (One author commented that he found endings extremely hard to write.) If that is the case, why not stop writing and save the effort for making a living.

This was not a bad story, until the end, or should I say until it was suspended. But unfinished potentially good stories abound on Lit.com in the LW group. I sure do miss the good authors from the past who have stopped posting on Lit.com.

though it seems obvious to me that she's cheating while she's out of town. He should have it looked into, divorce her, take custody of the kids and let her pay child support and alimony with her new found riches.

The denouement seems to be coming on like a juggernaut when the writer stops with wife announcing that she has been true... but how long before the editor or the fan takes her down. Basically she has failed to live up to all the agreements that she made. His proposal that they only interact with the kids is a form of divorce. She ought to give the path she has chosen a real good analysis and see if she likes what is on it....

This is a really good beginning. Writing does require concentration but one does not write and compose their 24/7. There should be a scheduled established that Randy and husband can abide by. I'm looking forward to the next installment of your story. RAG

When in the course of marital events, one partner devotes all possible time and effort to something that does not include the other partner, that partnership has become null and void. In the course of a contract, the provisions of the contract have been abrogated and the contract has been violated.

So many think that unfaithfulness has to do with sex. That is just one part of the equation, with others just as important when a family is involved.

Randy has been unfaithful in losing sight of the fact that she is one of two parents in a home with children. Unless she changes quickly and drastically, her forgotten husband should file for dissolution of the marriage contract as it has become an albatross on the shoulders of the family.

I don't buy the "burn the bitch" crowds mantra, but I do believe that there is some justification in yanking her chain -- hard!

If hubby were to have her served with dissolution papers at her next trip to New York, she would be able to make a decision concerning her future. With the direction the story has taken, divorce seems inevitable.

We really need the next chapter, as this one has left a lot of unanswered questions.

I'm a little late to join the party. Anyway good story with two people pulling in differant ways. She is the up and coming star he is the normal man who does his job and takes care of the family. It happens all the time in real life, a famous person is married to or dates a 'normal' person these marriages rarely last. As others have said the wife needs to think hard about her next move, I hope they stay together I think they are both in love with each other still, but is that enough? I hope so. Lead on Slirpuff.

I hope she see the light before it's too late. Having said that, it's a good story and looking forward to chap 2. Cheers

One more story that just ends with out being finished. There or to many stories on Literotica that end like this. I was looking for another chapter were is it?.

I don't think it needs another chapter. I'm sure he'll see how selfish he's being. Hopefully he'll find his balls and and stop whining and support the love of his life as she soars and fulfills her dream. Why do some married people demand everything immediately when they've taken a vow of a lifetime? Slirpuff asks these questions. Well done...Mancelt.

Husband seems to think that she should write bestsellers in her spare time after she gets through waiting on him and the kids. What a winner.

60 year old George

Great writing, slirpuff--typical fine job

Would also have been nice to label it Ch. 01, since it is pretty obvious another chapter (or more) will be forthcoming, at least based on the lack of resolution at the end. We all must speculate about Randy's last statement: Is it true that she has never been unfaithful, or is she just twisting and lying? Maybe she has given a BJ but she means the "Clinton" definition of sex. Thanks for writing.

....Huh?-that guy gave her more rope than I can imagine, hasn't even YET brought up the very important point reader hrnichol mentions about the multi-dimensional layers of fidelity and HE"S the arrogant one????This would be the most perfectamundo story I've ever read here for the insertion of the following(and very likely) occurrence-as a plot device, of the kiddies asking mommy(unprovoked by daddy,and this would happen)-"Mommy, why do you think you're too good for us now?" So far, this seems like The slirp dog's best start yet.

....how can there be infidelity when- "it was just sex!"

If the roles were reversed, Steve would be complaining about how unsupportive Randy had become. Very funny stuff

She is screwing the marriage up by working all the time, but...he isn't really being very supportive either. I hate to see marriages crash and burn but your characters can't seem to see each other's viewpoint and it looks like both are going to escalate the problems until the marriage is destroyed. Too Bad!

You write flawed characters with interesting issues and you write dialog that sounds real and yet pushes the themes of your stories forward in very dramatic ways that feel real to us. But while this is what you are great at, the interesting thing for me will be to see if you can pull off the ending. That for me has always been your weakness. It's like you come to a wall with your characters and your ability to follow the themes you have set out. You are willing to follow them so far, but in the end you always fall back into the familiar and tried and true formula writing that is so common in this genre. My guess is unfortunately, she's going to become a slut, and it's no longer going to be about the consequences of a wife pursuing her dream, but instead dissolve into a simple story of infidelity. The heading of this sections says something about adventurous women and the husbands who love them, well, well you've accomplished that. The question is can you bring this story to a satisifying conclusion without throwing away all the good work you've done up to now.

You've got us this far. it's seem's Right6 that you finish. with another chapter.

Kinda left me hangin' DUDE! Hurry, get this rope off me before I die waiting for the next chapter! Great start, but PLEASE!!

you don't have to make the people in your story so ridiculously obvious. Ok, we get it! She's a complete idiot who unlike almost every mother I know has no love for her kids... and he's an immature child who is fucking clueless on basic communication but somehow manages to hold down a job in sales. Ok, you've gone out of your way to make it so OBVIOUS. You've now ruined your story, we don't like the people, nor do we care what happens to them. What is your pupose?

Not much sex, but I was drawn in by the spiral of this relationship and the interesting character development. Keep it coming!

like it. you surely have improved.

...Is a story that is unfinished. It's a bit like buying a used book and finding the last few pages have been torn out, or watching a TV show that ends in "To be continued."

Maybe you will finish it, maybe you won't. There actually is some potential here, but stopping in the middle of nowhere is a nono.

Forgot to title it chapter one... #2 has already been submitted

he forgot to title it chapter 1 people relax its not the end of the world

Most of the stories in LW have the husband working like a madman for the

good of the family while the wife decides she deserves some fun which often leads to a very bitter divorce... Why do we feel that (at least a good number of us) that she is mistreating her partners in this family? Would we do this to a male author? But then he would be bread winner who need to win more bread and is not neglecting his primary role. But here, I would suspect that the protagonist has not accepted the idea of being a house husband. In fact I do not think he has even looked at how much she is earning. They really need to have a long heart to heart and she should make space for this....

Another point is that subtly we are influenced by the fact that so far we see the whole story throught the eyes of the husband who may not be the best witness about what really is happening. Very nice work Slirpuff!

Most of us would really like to know the truth about what happened to the wive in New York. I already though about many bad things (sex most of it) about this wive's doing in the city. I wish this is not true, but given the situation it is possible to assume the worst, right? I really hope there would be some reconciliation on this marriage if it's just works that ate her life and make her forgot about her family.

"They really need to have a long heart to heart and she should make space for this.... "

They already did that, she broke the agreemnt.

Would be nice to see what happens next tho'

Excellent beginning. I can't wait to see what you have planned for Steve and Randy.

This story reminds me of 'The Rock' by Wetapap. In that story the boyfriend

that was dumped in such a cruel and callous way says to the ex;

"Do you remember 'Coal MIner's Daughter...She took her husband with her, she never considered leaving him behind...Now that is real love...You're wrong about the movie. She took her husband because they were a team. Without him there would be no need for a career. She built it with him and around them. No way it would have worked if she had built the career, then tried to fit him into it."

In this story, Randy does not see Steve as a equal partner, if she did Steve would not feel the way he does now. There are some here who say that Steve is being unsupportive, which is a wrong way of thinking, support should be done equally by both Randy and Steve. The initial party, Randy should have had Steve glued to her side, unless in the restrooms she should have made sure everyone she was introduced to knew that Steve was her husband, and her inspiration, along with her children.She did not, that is being unsupportive, Randy's life is her family, that is where her support should have been.

Randy should have never went to that after hours party with Steve being drunk. That one incident shows how much Randy does not care for Steve being part of her new life.

To put all of the blame on Steve without laying at least sixty percent of the trouble on Randy with her head up her ass is hypocritical. A double standard because if the situation was reversed Steve would be castigated on this feedback site as a unfeeling bastard, who has a long suffering wife at home with the kids, with no kind of emotional support, blah...blah...blah.

I am looking forward to the remaining chapters...Keep up the great work.

Lit has become too bureaucratic in its approach. One page full of new stories and no more in day. This is killing many series that need quicker installments. Slirpuff has submitted chapter 2 at least 3 days back and it is still not online. I am sure he will end up submitting it to another site before it gets online here. Shame because lit is such a great place to hang out at.

have those two fucking morons ever NOT blamed the husband in ANY story?

The 1st party at NYC said the wife wanted OUT of this marriage.

Imagine the Outcry from readers if the roles were reversed. Suppose STEVE was at a big corporate party and dragged his wife along then left her alone at the party all night to fend for herself for HOURS and he didnt come back to the hotel room until 3am ?

then in the story the wife stayed 2 more days !?!? This marriage is over.

I am stunned by the readers who think the Husban is NOT being supporitve. ***If that is the case what EXACTLY is the Husband doing wrong? ***

Note that ALL of their husband and wife talks.. meeetings... conversations etc ALL of them -- were started by the Husband!!! .

Not one time did the wife Randy ever say " we have to talk".

Randy is staying up late becuase she does NOT want to fuck the husband.

Period. Anything else is Bullshit

The wife COULD get up at 5am to write... many authors do.. then take a break have breakfast with their families.. go to the Gym then go back to writing.

The wife is making these choices and seesm to ignore the facts that she is married and has kids. And the husband is trying to deal with it.

another GREAT story-- so far-- from Slirpuff. You are on a roll as the last few stories seem to be much better.

breaking the marriage down. In the end, the wife tells him she has become smart and all is better suddenly. Was she invaded by a body snatcher? Get a brain transplant? The first person POV is too difficult for you. You cannot tell the part about the father of the wife because.... surprise.... you were not there!

with a wife that has her eyes wide shut to a disentegrating relationship/marriage. And a husband who is at the end of the rope.

Where will this all lead? It will be interesting to read! This chapter was well written and the stage is set!

Thanks for writing!

He really is not that very selfish. Sure, she should be allowed to do her work over-time now and then, but everyday for one and a half years? Ok, say he allowed all of that. When does it end? He has to nip it in the bud now if possible. Otherwise in 2-3 years she will have drifted far enough that her family won't recognise her, and he WILL have given up on the marriage. Spouses and children do need attention. It's the same if a man was working too much more than necessary. Over-time hours are acceptable in poor families where wives understand this and usually they look after the children. If both are working then they should not be putting in over-time hours because what is the point of extra money? She paid for her vacation but she did not get to enjoy it... is that the point of work? If the situation was turned around, she would probably have done the same thing too - given an ultimatum and threatened divorce; women need more attention than men, so she would have done it much sooner. If she did not do that, she would make life hell for her husband - and I've seen this happen in families when I was younger

its time to look for an eradicator. TK U MLJ LV NV

wimpy excuse for man...divorce her ass and take the kids with him.

3&***

This is exactly how some marriages get in trouble. In this story it was an ill omen that the wife viewed being a stay at home mom as such a negative. Many stay at home moms get daytime adult companionship from other such moms and most (not all) find great pleasure in caring for and participating as their children discover the world. But both men and women have to make family time in their lives. No one ever lay on their death bed and said, "I wish I had spent more time at work."

Regarding the previous comment about getting a divorce, if you had ever been through a divorce you would not suggest this yet.

Its a judgment call as to how well Slirpuff resolves this marital chasm. But story after story, few authors dig that divide, grabbing their readers by short and curlies any more skillfully then him.

IMMEDIATELY after she says she's "sorry", she tells him she has to take ANOTHER trip to New York.

And she has no right to be mad at his suspicions, if all she's doing is taking care of business, why can't he ever reach her?

Ok Steve, now it's up to you to deliver an ending fitting for this beginning; not always your strongest suit is it. Still having problems with spelling, wrong tense & grammar I see, luckily the plot is good & so far you've handled it well. 4 ****

typical story so far, unfortunately.

I don't know if it's real life or not. great mechanics, and nice flow. I think they both have problems.

fast becomes a 2 family income, TK U MLJ LV NV

I'd have liked to see a continuation of this story as it ended abruptly.

You buy into a package and then it is all changed without your input. Nothing can be more frustrating.

There are few things more frustrating than repetitive " oh , by the way ...".

five stars. Very well developed and engaging.

I normally have some good feelings for the wife but I fucking hate this one. What a selfish, self centred egotistical bitch who is no doubt already cheating or soon will be using her husband's unreasonable attitude to justify it in her own myopic mind.

She will have to change a lot to get my vote for reconciliation.

She keeps saying she's sorry and promises to change, but nothing changes.

I would lay down rules:

1) She writes while the kids are in school. Once they come home, the computer is shut down.

2) Any trips to New York are when he can go too. If HE can't go along, she has to re-schedule.

100%. She has gotten way out of hand.

When you are in the zone, as even a half assed writer like myself, you are in the zone. There is also a hell of a lot of research to do. You think that it is just sit down and click click click, words come out, but if there are ANY details at all involved, you need to go and check a ton of stuff. I got yelled at once for not having the color and the sales number of a Mustang correct once.

BUT...yeah. Arbitrary choices. Not seeing much difference between this and a husband telling a wife that he has to take a transfer. But...I feel his pain too.

Her family isn't anywhere near her mind. They are heading for a divorce. Don't let this be another of your reconcilliation at any cost stories.

Great buildup. Still love it. Still five stars.

Then he and the children deserve what happens next. He no longer has a marriage; and she no longer has a family. I guess their value is $20,000. Cheap price for the loss of a family!

She is a BIG PROBLEM AND CAUSING BIG PROBLEMS DEALING WITH HER FAMILY. hE NEEDS TO TELL HER IT THE FAMILY OR HER WRITING.

I know I have commented on this story before, but it's still good. The reaction of the people are believable, and honest. I know what's going to happen so I wont ruin it for other readers.

But at least your grammar and spelling and punctuation has improved.

You write husbands as spineless troglodytes; their primary concern is sex, ultimately wanting the wife to take care of them; they can't imagine life without her. If she's not directing his life and pacifying him with sex, they'll become 2-dimensional petulant children having a temper tantrum. It obviously pleases you to write them this way, but this unrealistic view will always limit your broad-based acceptance as a writer.

1 star

Sounds like Randy has already moved on. Better get ready to be single.

Live a life and suck off her money. Start pulling out cash and stashing it away before the divorce.

Bite the bullet,kids or not dump her,she is neither mother or wife.

she isn't worth the fight

?

I THINK SHE ID FULL OF HERSELF. There are a lot of high-pressure jobs where people are still able to have family time.

Oh, hell no, she's not cheating, she'll never do that! We can believe her when she denies it because she's being so honest and trustworthy in everything. Time to grow some 'nads there Steve'o. Signed: BTW

Is there a second chapter?? Seems to be incomplete...

Good writing just just feel for ajj of them. I know how a publisher treated a friend of ours. He ended up with his wife and children gone. They did get back together after he changed publisher.

The wife says that she could stop if the husband wants her too but she's going to resent her husband.

.

The wife is going to resent being asked to partake and family dinners once a week?? The wife is going to resent talking to her children I'm putting them to sleep once or twice a week ? Is the wife is going to resend for taking and family activities?

.

This is not a husband and wife thing. Either spouse that was caught up in a job like this and cant or wont realize that they cutting off the entire family is the problem. Whether it's the husband doing this or the wife doing this

Nagyon hiányzik a folytatás ,mások is így látják...!!!

Enjoyed Part 1. Onward to Part 2. Thanks for your writing.

What story? Let me know when it is completed!

Fuuny so if the shoe was on the other foot, would everyone be cheering him on?

What does Randi love more? Her writing career and the fame or her family and husband? Guess we will find out in chapter 2. But there is no way she isn’t cheating. Having an emotional affair with one’s job is a kind of cheating isn’t it?

Interesting. When it's the guy who is working and ignoring the family he's cheered as the bread winner.

Double standard again. What she's doing is wrong but guys should be held to that standard, too. I learned that early luckily and backed off enough to continue advancing at work while still being able to focus on what was really important, my family. Not everyone learns

that early enough... Sometimes not ever.