When I was in the Music Competition

She said, "I'm Elaine, your grandmother," She was smoking but I could not smell it, "I died of cancer, I was forty six."

I said, "You're a fucking ghost?"

She said, "I don't know what's going on any more than you do. But if that's what you want to call me ok. Who was that guy that was fucking you? That's the biggest white dick I've ever seen. Is he your husband?"

I said, "Nope, I'm on a television show, a music competition and he's the husband of one of the judges, my husband left me last week. He's got another fucking family."

"I stayed married until I died, but we fucked around on each other. He beat me and my boys too. Actually I really got off on him spanking me. But I was a whore off and on most of my life. He was a fucking insurance salesman and made no money. I worked for an escort service up until I got sick. The service was run by three cops. I answered an ad and they all fucked me and off we went. I fucked men and a few women too, couples too they had to pay double. I loved it actually."

I said, "Your titties are amazing, what cup size in a bra do you wear?

"She said, "I went to this department store in Seattle I Magnin's and this lovely older woman made my bras, mostly lace with underwires, but I don't know cups," she seemed pensive but went on, "one time Jimi Hendrix sat in on a show with Moby Grape at Eagle's auditorium in downtown Seattle. I'd been called out for the boys in the band and they fucked the shit out of me. I was enjoying myself totally, they asked me to stay for after the show and then Jimi Hendrix sat in with them.

They met at this festival in Monterrey, California a few weeks earlier. Well I was not much into colored folks, having grown up in the South and all, but I was drunk and then I saw that dick. Did you know colored folks prefer dick to cock? Well anyway he was huge and he fucked my brains out. A month later I was pregnant, morning sickness and all. My best friend Marian Long a good Catholic, put me in contact with a doctor who aborted the baby. I was troubled. Plus the doctor fucked me in the ass. Well, you should go back to sleep."

She was gone, but became a trusted confidant all through my pregnancy with Blake's little girl.

Well so much to swallow, but I advanced through the Battle rounds before I knew I was pregnant and then in the week leading up to the Knockouts, I got morning sickness. I knew Blake was the baby daddy and he was fucking me all the time, Gwen was writing and getting ready to record. For a while it was mostly anal and Blake he was telling me I was the best fuck he'd ever had. Never did hear him tell me he loved me which made me think about love and sex.

One night I was in bed thinking how if Phil had talked to me now, as if it was only happening now, but I knew what I knew now, I would have let him have other lovers. I mean, it's kinda hard to forget this huge fucking dick like Blake's in my ass and throat, but I was thinking as I lay there and Elaine said, "Hey baby, you're pregnant!"

"Sure am."

"Bill, got shot down overseas during the war and I got this telegram from the War department that he was shot down and presumed dead, so I thought he was dead. I met this guy at a USO dance for service men. I told him I was a widow, lost my man overseas, in Italy. I did have a baby, but I left him with Bill's parents, I met Eddie and he was so sweet, smaller than Bill, height I mean, but on our honeymoon, my God he had stamina. We had two babies. Bill wasn't dead. Technically I had five kids."

"Technically?"

"You're right Teri, I had five kids."

I was struggling to voice this correctly, "Let me sum up kind of where my heads at. My husband's had two families most of our marriage, then he dumped me, I've been fucked by two women and Blake Shelton and I'm pregnant and my coach, who's Blake's wife doesn't know I'm having Blake's baby and I am recognizing I'm submissive to a fault. I think that my role in life is to find anyone that's into fucking submissive sluts and be open to it. Sort of like a hippie love child."

Elaine said, "Teri, things are so much easier now. I was reading Yahoo news and there are influencers, whatever that is and help their friend's cheat on their husband. I read that this bitch Selena Gomez cheated on her husband Justin Bieber and he wrote a song about it that Halsey covered called Go and Fuck yourself. I'm not sure if I said that right, but I really enjoyed being a prostitute. Getting paid to cheat and fuck anybody. Sweet Jesus. I once fucked a gay priest and wasn't that wild! Just let people fuck you if you want them to. Marriage and the church is kind of bullshit. Is it cheating really?

"I don't know why I agonize about this. On the one hand Phil is a bastard for what he's done to our family. I immediately pivot, with my first consciousness and sleep with two women, the first time since college and they literally destroy me and then I've literally fucked my coach's husband for weeks and it was starting to feel like he would leave Gwen for me. I would marry him for sure, probably be a prenuptial, but technically I was still married."

Then, "Mom can we talk?"

Elaine disappeared. I needed to talk to Marcia about Elaine.

"Mom, damn it!"

"Come in."

It was all three of my kids. Christine was twenty. Kelly was nineteen and Mark eighteen. Christine and Kelly were in shorts and bikini tops and Mark was in pink jeans and a wife beater shirt with pride colors and barefoot. His nails, hand and feet were pink and he had earrings and there was a guy holding his hand who looked to be in his late thirties. I was tongue tied.

Mark started, "Mom? I want to introduce you Donnie. Blake got me tickets to the Elton John-Dua Lipa concert at Dodger Stadium the night after Blake brought us down which is when and where we met. I moved in with him two weeks ago."

I looked like a deer in headlights and finally I said, "You're gay?"

"I've known I was gay since I was twelve, Mom. Christine and Kelly used to dress me."

I glared at Chistine and Kelly and they simultaneously shrugged. "Mark, you're supposed to be on a baseball scholarship to Seattle University!"

He snuggled into Donnie and said, "Donnie's bat, made me forget about that."

I shrieked, "Fuck, Fuck, God fucking damn it," I banged the palms of my hands on my head, " so you've been gay for six years. Everybody but me knew this. Does your fucking dad know?"

Mark nodded yes.

I said, "So let's see I don't fucking care about you fucking some old predator. I deeply resent all of you lying to me and telling your fucking bigamist dad. All of you get the fuck away from me now. Now, damn it."

Ignoring me, Chistine and Kelly stayed. Defiantly.

I said, "Close the door."

Christine said, "Don't be mad at Mark!"

"Fuck you Christine. I'm not mad at him for being queer. Your uncle is queer, remember? I've been bi-sexual since college. All of you betrayed me and you don't give a shit about that. How long have you known about your Dad's family?"

There was no response and they looked down.

"You go now. I'll get you tickets to Seattle and you go or if not get the fuck out of this house. I'm gone from here tomorrow. If you go back to Seattle, pack your shit up and get out of the house and don't be there when I get back. I'm cancelling your phones and shutting down the plan at month end. You might look for work, or move back to Virginia with your dad and your step siblings. Tell Mark all of this and tell him this. You're all dead to me."

I asked for a meeting with Gwen and the producers and it was virtual. I told them that I was pregnant and going through a divorce and needed to back out. The producers thanked me for not forcing something ugly on the franchise. They were about to end the call and I asked Gwen to hang on nicely. She said, "What's up?"

I said, "Blake's the father. He doesn't know. I don't want to blame him and I feel horrible about this to you and apologize. I don't want money and I won't name him. I can't tell you how sorry I am. She look shocked and I disconnected.

End Part One.

I found Patti on facebook, she was living in West Seattle of all places I sent her a friend request and then direct messaged her in facebook that I was in bad trouble and needed to talk to her about some life stuff and needed lawyers, guns and money. We both loved Warren Zevon and the phrase was code for I was in bad trouble.

I turned my phone off. Packed my stuff up and was headed out of the house, I'd ordered an Uber. I saw Marcia for the first time in a couple of weeks and waved.

She came up to me and said, "What's up?"

"Marcia, there is a lot to unpack, but I'm going back to Seattle. I'm pregnant from Blake. I withdrew from the competition which they were happy with. I told Gwen. My son came out to me. My kids and Phil have known he was gay for six years. Despite that my brother is queer and I love him, they withheld it from me. My kids knew of Phil's other family for some time. Serious betrayal. All I ever did was take care of them. I'm not a Nancy right winger.

"I have to get a lawyer and the house is mine and I need to sell it to fund my life. I'm not Hollywood."

I heard a car honk and hugged her and was out the door and into the car. I was travelling light and felt freed up.

When I touched down in Seattle at SeaTac, I turned my phone on and Patti messengered me with her number. The kids were little when I last talked to her.

I was in a cab headed to my house and I called her and she picked up on the first ring.

I said, "Patti it's me Teri. I need some advice and help can I come and see you tonight?

"She said, "Sure don't eat, seven okay?

I said it was. I googled a lock company and got one that could meet me at two o'clock, three hours from now at my parent's old house on Queen Anne to change the locks."

I got home and the place was trashed. I was not sure if from the front of the house where furniture was gone and I went upstairs and their rooms were emptied. I suspected the furniture and God knows what was on Phil.

I took a shower. Most of my clothes seemed to be still here. I was really perplexed about the kids. What had I ever done to betray them?

I was starting to think that they had known all about Phil's near bigamy for a long time and I felt empty.

I drove my old Nissan soccer mom minivan to Patti's. She lived on Capital Hill and it was a mansion.

Patti was fifty nine and remained stunning in her black leather thigh high boots. She had a crimson midi-skirt hugging her ass and shelf bra displaying her inch long nipples. She was still married. Her husband Teddy, was the nameplate on the law firm his grandfather had started after the depression.

Patti was fiercely proud of his leadership to steward so many software and genetics startups to billion dollar values here in Seattle's tech world, which anyone on Wall Street could tell you was the true centerpiece of new enterprise of the free world.

For years Patti dominated Teddy, taking him from a shy sweet boy into a sissy dick craving recipient of her eighteen inch dildos. She broke him and built him back up. I recalled him sitting in the corner watching Patti introduce me to everything I knew about bondage and discipline. Caning and paddling of my ass, cunt and tits and finally fisting of my cunt. Their love was complicated. He had lots of boyfriends and he was an unabashed bottom.

I knew that he would take trips to Brazil and Jamaica to indulge his need to have extended love affairs with his true fetish of very large black dicks.

As I hugged Patti, Teddi rushed into the room and hugged me with Patti, my eyes leaked and they pulled me along to an office off the large vestibule. Patti and I were on a settee and Teddi sat behind a table with a laptop. Patti quietly said, "Details darling, patting my hand.

I started by saying, "Phil's s bigamist with a full family in Virginia and he dropped divorce papers on me three weeks ago. For eighteen years with three other kids. All of my kids have known of their half-siblings for a very long time. I was on the Voice musical competition, until this revelation at least the first part of the divorce happened after I chose Gwen Stefani as my coach. I'm six weeks pregnant with Blake Shelton's child, Gwen's husband. Mark my youngest came out of the closet to me with his new forty year old lover. Again everyone knew except me as his sisters have been dressing him for years. I told them that I felt betrayed fully and that they were dead to me. I turned off their phones and kicked them out."

"I need a lawyer to protect myself in the divorce and see if I can get money from Phil to see if his other family received benefits from him that I only should have received. I want to formally disown my kids. I want to establish this baby as my only family. Can I go back to my maiden name of Benedict, too?"

"Can I do this Teddy?

He said, "Teri, I have just the young woman in the firm that can take care of you. Fiercely protective of her clients. If the bigamy thing, defacto or real can lead to felony and theft and alienation of affection suit for them knowingly abetting him. Here name is Marguerite, or Maggie. She's my sister's oldest Suzi. Disowning your kids might tie into web of deceit that has entrapped you dear. I've taken the liberty of patching you through to her while we talk. Can you give me a dollar, so that you have attorney client privilege?

I fished in my purse and he stood up and walked around his desk in a periwinkle sun dress.

Their chef Gina announced that dinner was ready. Stunningly beautiful woman.

I said, "Teddi and Suzi, I don't want Blake Shelton's name on the birth certificate nor do I want him involved with this child, can do? I'm afraid that I'll lose my baby to him too."

The dinner was monkfish in an orange butter sauce with basmati rice and a broccoli salad with oil and vinegar. I had some green tea, declining an Orvieto wine.

"Teri, you are glowing. I know how old you are, but I swear you look like you're in your early thirties. Just stunningly beautiful," said Patti.

I smiled and said, "I feel safe here. Thank you both, Patti and Teddi. I love you both with all my heart."

Patti made shushing noises as she saw my eyes leaking. I said," The next three years will be hard. Have a baby, I need to sell my house so as to generate money for us to live off of and without your guidance I would be lost."

Teddy said, "Let's set tomorrow's agenda, okay baby?"

I nodded and said, "I need to get an Ob-Gyn at Virginia Mason and hopefully get in the nurse midwifery program again. I need to turn off my plan for ATT at least as far as Phil and his kids. I need to connect with a nutritionist about what's right for my body now at forty one pregnant."

"Mistress," it was Gina," might I help Teri with the nutritionist angle and my mother is a midwife at VM?"

"Teri? Are you all right with that?"

I looked at Gina and nodded, and said, "Please I'd feel safe," locking eyes with Gina and adding, "do you have kids Gina?'

She smiled and said, "I have three girls and two boys."

"No way!"

"She said, "Way! Two sets of twins and my oldest," with a glowing smile."

I said, "Well that's a start and Teddy I'll leave Maggie on the legal side. Should we meet?"

A voice said, "Day after tomorrow. I'll come by. I have to go now."

I looked at Patti and said, "Thank you so much, you don't know how thankful I am. I'm going to head home now, I'm tired."

Patti said, "No, no and no. I insist you have an early schedule with Gina and I've got a room set up for you. Gina, could you show Teri where her room is?"

We walked up the wide stairway and down the hallway to a door that Gina opened up and there was a fairly spare room, albeit large with a Tuscan color scheme with muted reds, yellows and oranges on the walls and carpets and furniture. She showed me the bathroom and there were basic stuff, like toothbrushes in their wrappers and soap.

Gina asked how I was doing and I said, "I'm feeling overwhelmed and scared. Lonely and sad. Somewhere I need to find bottom."

Gina actually undressed me and put plain white flannel pajamas on me. The top was a single piece, like a flannel sweatshirt with a vee-neck. M girls seemed to be impeding progress, so Gina reached through the neck and grabbed most of my left tit and pulled it into the top. She repeated the process and slowly pulled the top down until it was just below my belly button.

She looked at me and said, "Damn Teri, you are startlingly beautiful. Fuck," she just stopped talking and was staring at me.

I leaned in so that our tits were touching and said, "I am a lesbian with big tits who loves to fuck. Just not tonight, I mean I'm specifically submissive and if you want to fuck me, I won't stop you," I shrugged and continued, "I'm scared, could you hold me please?"

Gina pulled open the blankets and stood up and gave me a sweet soft peck on my lips while her dark eyes peered into my heart. She scooted me down and into the bed and said, "Turn away on your side, girl."

I did and I felt her slide in and make the big spoon into my back and fanny and could feel her breath on my neck and her arm snaked across my tummy and pulled me into her and she cooed me. I might have stayed awake for a couple of minutes and slept until I woke up.

We'd shifted a bit during the night. Her left leg was wrapped over top of my hip and waist. Her face was in my hair and she had this tiny little snore going that with each exhale parted my hair and I felt on my neck. Oh and her arm smashed my tit closest to her while she had a death grip on the tit against the mattress. I felt so right and secure and was almost back to sleep, when I opened my eyes and Elaine was two inches from my eyes staring at me and said, "Teri that girl's going to make you her bitch in the morning."

I whispered, "I know! How do I not fuck this up, like everything else?"

"Teri, none of this is your fault."

I said, "Shush, don't wake her up, she'll know I'm nuts."

"Relax, nobody can hear us when we talk. I can tell you this, she's a widow and your Patti has been fucking her brains out even when she was married."

I said, "Patti knows nobody's boundaries. Look at poor Teddy, she turned him into a sissy who craves cock in his cunt."

"He's light in his loafers for sure, but that boy's got a dick and a nuclear missile could fit into that ass and he's got no cunt, Teri are you nuts."

"Grammie, queers call their ass their cunt, nowadays. By the way do you talk to Renee (Robert my queer brother) ever?"

"No, but he's happy as a clam. Oh I forgot to answer your question, you didn't cause anything between dickwad and your ex kids. He's a psychopath and your daughter's are sociopaths at least and Kelly is pregnant with his baby and Christine had one aborted last year from Phil.

He has another house on Magnolia where your kids have been going to for years on weekends with sleepovers. You've met a couple of them that were described as classmates, besties and one serious boyfriend who took Christine's cherry, which really pissed off Phil."

She went on, "Just relax with Gina, it will all work out."

Poof she was gone. I'm not sure how much longer I slept, but I woke and were still intertwined and her sweet little snore was stealing my heart with each breath. Every night with her feeling loved and secure in her arms. Gina's phone started beeping, a wakeup alarm if I were to guess. Her breathing changed, the snore gone. She started to let go of my tit and I clamped down on her arm with mine and I pushed my ass against her cunny and I said, "Gina, please. This is perfect, please take me. You have the sweetest little snore and you exhaled against my neck and all I can think of is being protected in your love. If you don't want that. I understand nobody loves me and I let all the breath out of me and felt as if my soul was going away. I opened my eyes and Elaine was an inch away and she said, "Moan baby, I told you she's going to fuck the shit out of you, except now SHE'S falling in love with you."