When Love and Hate Collide

"I do too. I still want that, please John. I've never forgotten about you, I just didn't know how to talk to you after what I did," Madison said almost pleading. "There was never a good time and then there was too much time... It took me a while to grow up. I will do whatever it takes to get you to see that. I'll give it all up."

He simply shook his head.

"I never wanted you to give anything up. I would have been there the whole way. But from what I can tell, everyone thought I'd get in the way of you doing whatever it took to make it big," John said trying to stifle any thought of her sleeping around. His mind was going crazy at the thoughts of being away from her. Just when he thought he could be alright without her around, it all came crashing back that he wasn't.

It was then that Madison knew she would have to prove to him just how serious she was about it all.

"I just want you to know, I did use my talent to get there. Sure, I was propositioned thousands of times and that was why it took me longer, but I never gave in. I'm not at the same level as Beyonce or Shania Twain or Madonna, but... Yes, the music video directors and my agents suggested I dress more provocatively, but I never whored myself out," Madison said proudly.

"Good for you," John said in a surprisingly genuine tone, but Madison could tell it wasn't enough. He took another drink, hoping it would stop him from doing something stupid. But it wasn't him he had to control.

"Come on, let's go," Madison said taking his arm. It felt incredible to touch her again. He looked at her and with the way she held his gaze, he felt any resistance he had to stand up, let alone go with her fade away. He knew it wasn't a good idea, but found himself in a taxi with her holding his hand just like she used to.

John looked at her and smiled, it was a good feeling to be with her again but as they stopped outside the hotel he started to come back from the brink of disaster.

"I should go home," John said trying to clear his foggy brain. It was hard enough to say that given he wanted to stay with her.

"No, you should come with me," Madison said paying the driver and then leading him into the hotel. They were hand in hand, like the couple they used to be and John felt proud right at the moment. Proud to be with the woman he adored more than anything, again.

They rode the elevator in silence, with Madison holding him tight the whole way. She led him to her room, opened the door and once inside wrapped her arms around him and held him tight. Just like she wished she had done all those years ago. After a few minutes she looked up at him and then without thinking they kissed. His lips were like coming home, soft, warm and arousing. Their tongues danced and their hands roamed each other's bodies. It was exciting and wonderful. Just then John pulled back slightly and touched her face gently, letting his fingers trace her smooth, supple cheek. It had been a long time since he had her so close and he was going to savour it before his restraint kicked back in.

Again, his mouth opened before his brain could register.

"Mads, this isn't a good idea," John said the alcohol still keeping his usually sober restraint at bay. He could barely fight his true feelings.

With a hot breath, Madison kissed him again.

"I've always loved it when you call me Mads," Madison said unbuckling his best and pushing his pants down. Without hesitation, Madison lifted her dress, pulled her panties down and then stepped out of them, before kissing John once again. "We need this."

"I know," John said as they fell onto the floor with Madison on top. She lined his already turgid member up and impaled herself savouring the moment as the whole world around them stopped. It had been a long time coming and it only ever felt this right and this perfect with one person. John.

At first, they made love, moving to the bed, touching every part of one another before they reached their crescendos and crashed back down to earth. Without thinking they showered together, taking time to reach every curve and crevice of their bodies before consummating the long pent up demand they had both experienced. Finally, after the booze had completely worn off and some sensibility kicked in they fucked hard and rough, using every piece of furniture in the suite to their advantage only stopping when they both passed out in each other's arms on the bed. It was the best night sleep either of them had enjoyed in a very long time.

Colour him surprised and then disappointed when he felt an empty bed; John stirred from his rejuvenating slumber worried that it was all a dream. Bleary eyed and somewhat hungover, John looked around the room and once again found himself alone. Resigning himself to the fact that she had left him once again, John dragged himself out of bed and began the hunt for his clothes. He didn't have to look far as they were folded on a chair and there on top, was a note:

Dearest John, the love of my life,

I tried to wake you, but in the end, you looked so peaceful that I let you sleep. I watched you for a little while and I fell in love with you more than I ever thought I could. I know, it sounds cheesy, but I never stopped loving you. How could I? The most wonderful man in the world and I threw it all away. I was young and stupid and I listened to the wrong people. For that, I am sorry. So, so sorry.

You may not believe me and I hate to have to do this, but a car is waiting for me outside. I have a contract to honour and I hope you understand that I don't want to leave you like this ever again. You're much too important to me. I kissed your lips and even though you didn't wake I saw a faint smile afterwards. That's how I feel each time I'm near you, and last night gave me the confidence to face what is coming next.

I had better go, go and finish what I started before I can try to repair the damage I have done to you. I hope and pray that you will understand but I also accept that you may not. Either way, know that I love you with every element of my being and that I will be thinking of you as I finish what I have to do.

Bye for now,

Yours only and forever,

Madison

John stared at the note and then placed it on the table, before getting dressed. Then it hit him, he didn't have Madison's contact details and he felt deflated. He looked around the room, knowing he shared it ever so briefly with Madison last night and then put the note in his pocket and left. The room was now how he felt. Empty.

Chapter 4

Looking at the drink on the bar, John was concluding that there was nothing at the end of the bottle any more. It may have helped sooth some pain for the last little while, but now after two months, there was nothing there. He had only taken one sip this afternoon, one damn sip. It just didn't taste right anymore. Summoning up the courage to get out of his seat and walk away, the large television at the end of the bar started playing the latest hit single. He watched and listened to the ballad, there was no skimpy clothing or suggestive dancing, just clean, clear visuals with emotive impact. He wasn't listening too hard but then he saw her, Madison and his heart swelled as she sang,

Cause I'm crazy bout you baby, time after time

Without you, one night alone

Is like a year without you baby,

Do you have a heart of stone?

Without you, can't stop the hurt inside,

When love and hate collide...

It was unlike anything he had heard before and as much as he didn't want to admit it, had an impact on him. Before he could listen to the rest of the song, someone interrupted him.

"That's about you, you know," the voice said which John knew all too well. He turned and saw his twin sister standing there with a pained expression. He hadn't spoken to any of his family since he found out of their betrayal and he still didn't feel like speaking to them.

"So?"

"Is there somewhere we can talk privately?" Victoria asked politely. "Please."

Against his better judgment he nodded and then John looked at the bartender.

"Maxine, is it okay if I go to the room?" John asked motioning to the small private room off to the side of the bar.

"Sure, take your time," Maxine replied with a smile. She was an older, wise woman that every guy loved for some reason. Perhaps it was because even in her middle age, the woman wore tight jeans and singlets that showed off her natural beauty. That or she was a good conversationalist. Perhaps both.

"Thanks," John said as he led his sister to the small private room and closed the door. "What?"

"Straight to the point," Victoria said before seeing him flare up. "Sorry, I get it."

"Victoria, I haven't got time for this. Say what you came here to say, because if you haven't already got the message, I don't want to talk to any of you," John said crossing his arms.

"Fair enough," Victoria said swallowing and taking a breath. "Do you remember when I was sick?"

How could he forget. John was there those few years go, watching her waste away.

"Yes."

"You came home and looked after me every day. Stayed with me on weekends, were the best friend, brother, human being anyone could ever want. What you didn't know was that the secret I had been carrying, that thing with Madison you found out about... that's what made me sick. I couldn't eat, I couldn't have fun because I was so worried about you. Everyone swore me to secrecy, and I so wanted to tell you but I just couldn't. Not after the months it had been since she left," Victoria said the tears rolling again. "I hated everyone for a long time but you, how could I hate you. I love you John. I love you because you put your life on hold to care for me, take me out, show me the fun side of life again. And I know what I did and I don't expect you to forgive me, but it wasn't Madison's fault. You have to believe that."

It took John a few moments to compose himself. He had cared for Victoria and he always felt an incredible bond with her, which was why her betrayal hurt so much. They were two peas in a pod and shared everything in life. No one else in his family was as close as they were. That's what made it so easy to look after her, or so he thought.

"What's it matter now, anyway? She's gone again, we have no relationship and people keep talking about love as if it is some sort of item in the supermarket. You can just pick it up again and keep going," John said with a shrug. "Everyone thinks they know what love is, but... most people talk about lust. But I know, what I had with her... it was... it doesn't matter. It's over."

"It's only over if you want it to be, and I know you don't. Neither does she," Victoria said trying to get through to him. "She hasn't spoken to her family since that day either. She wants nothing to do with any of us after that day."

"Oh good, that's nice," John said shaking his head.

"John, please, go after her," Victoria said pleading with him. "No one wants to be lonely. Please John, I know you love her more than you let on. I saw how you looked at her even when you were angry. Just go to her. You'll see."

"Thanks for coming Victoria, I'll see you later," John said having heard enough. He exited the room and headed back to the bar. He looked at his drink, picked it up and then put it back down in disgust. He needed something else now, something stronger. He looked up and stopped when he saw Madison on the television during a live interview. It was obviously half way through or so he thought, not knowing the start of what they were talking about.

"You're correct, I have always been very private when it comes to my personal life, but in regards to this song... well, I wrote the song about the love of my life... it's a love song," Madison replied to the host.

"Well, it's wonderful, they must be very special. Anyone we know?" the female host asked with a cheeky grin. Madison smiled and stayed polite.

There was a brief moment where she had an adoring gaze at recalling a memory but Madison turned her attention back to the female host.

"Unfortunately, no. He's a wonderful man, and oh so caring and kind. He's my soulmate that I threw away when I shouldn't have," Madison said which shocked the host. "I wish I could turn back the clock, make a different choice but... I have to live with my mistake every day. And it hurts."

"Really? Is that why we haven't seen you with anyone serious all these years?" the female host asked.

"Yes, and I'd like to say to all the girls out there with a dream. Love comes to us when we least expect it. Don't be afraid of it, embrace it, you can have a career and love someone with all your heart. Don't listen to those who say you can't... because you can," Madison replied looking right into the camera. John knew she was looking at him.

The host's tone changed rather abruptly.

"That's easy for you to say, several hit singles under your belt, now with a number one single and millions in the bank," the female host said bluntly.

"Ah, you don't realise, the record company owns all my work. And dare I say by your tone that you have thrown away a chance at happiness to get where you are?" Madison asked staring down the host. She tried her best to remain composed but she was visibly uncomfortable.

"Thank you for your time Madison," the female host said turning to the camera and ending the interview. "Love and Hate Collide is available on all platforms now."

John looked away and didn't know what to think. He didn't hate Madison anymore, but what future did they have if she kept leaving him all the time?

"See, I think you need to talk to her," Victoria said sadly before leaving.

John watched her leave, without turning around, like he had watched Madison when she left all those years ago. He was once again, alone.

Chapter 5

After another round of exhausting interviews to promote her new album, Madison finally relaxed when the elevator doors opened on her floor. She pulled out the keycard for her room and walked the few steps to the luxurious suite, knowing full well that she was going to strip off, relax in a hot bath and go to bed early because there was nothing else in her life.

Once at her door, Madison swiped the keycard, began unbuttoning her light coat and walked inside, throwing the keycard down on the side table as the door behind her slipped shut. Dying to get out of her heels, and stockings, Madison kicked off the shoes, and then reached up and began the arduous task of pulling down the ever-tight material. Within seconds she was rolling the stockings down her thighs and then off her legs, leaving them on the floor for when she could be bothered picking them up. Most likely tomorrow.

Turning towards the bathroom, Madison flicked on the light and then decided to get a drink from the minibar first. She walked further into her suite, around the corner of where the bathroom was and stopped dead in her tracks. She couldn't do anything but stare at the man standing there in his best suit. He looked like a million dollars and immediately Madison felt her heart flutter and her body tingle with delight, but her mind stopped her from moving any further. What was John here for, this time?

"Hi," John said with a warm smile.

This was just like old times, his tone, his manner, just like she remembered him from when they were younger. Trembling, Madison looked at him and tried to hold back all her emotions, hoping it isn't some kind of trick.

"Hi," Madison said softly.

"I figured you'd be in this hotel," John said looking around the room. "I couldn't get hold of you and I found out online that you were going to be in this city, so..." It was the same chain hotel when they reconnected all those months ago. After her agent was no help and he exhausted all his other leads, taking a chance like this was all he could do. Thankfully it paid off.

"I'm sorry I didn't leave my number... I wasn't sure you wanted it and I was worried but I wrote the note and I, just... the driver was getting antsy... I just... oh my god, I'm so sorry," Madison said trying to regain her composure.

"That's okay, I found you... thankfully you were here," John said politely. When he smiled, it put Madison at ease.

Immediately her brain kicked into gear and she relaxed into conversation with him. Just like she used to do.

"Yeah, well, not for much longer," Madison said clutching her hands in front of her.

"You'd really give it all up, just for me?" John asked staring right into her eyes. Madison felt her heart flutter again and her body ache.

"Yes."

"Huh, and here I was doing the same thing," John said with a shrug. "I turned in my resignation and came straight here."

"John..." Madison said taking a step closer upon realising his true intentions.

"It's just a job," John said with a smile. "You..."

Madison closed the ground between them before he could say anything more. Wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him made the whole world stop. It was just the two of them, like it always had been and it felt even more amazing than what either of them could remember. When his arms came around her back and pulled her to him, Madison burst with joy. She pulled back and looked into his eyes.

"Is this real? I'm not dreaming this, am I?" Madison asked holding his arms to never let him go.

"It's real," John said before she kissed him again. They could both taste salty tears.

"Good, I've got a lot of making up to do," Madison said with a happy giggle.

"No, just be you," John said stroking some hair out of her face. He always did love her hair.

They stood there for a moment, basking in the feelings as they reconnected. In fact, it felt like it had always felt, just better. Right then, Madison felt a moment of cheekiness take over.

"Are you saying you don't want me to make it up to you in the bedroom?" Madison asked gleaming while biting her bottom lip in anticipation.

"Well, I never said that," John said lifting Madison in his arms while she squealed and then kissed him again.

He carried her to the bedroom and the two of them spent the rest of the day and most of the night reconnecting in more ways than one.

Chapter 6

It was a quiet Saturday with only the noise of a rambunctious toddler piercing the serenity. Sitting at his computer and putting the final touches to a new music video, John looked at his wife as she sat down next to him. Madison smiled, leaned into him and looked at the screen as her hand went to her belly. At four months pregnant, she was starting to show and she loved touching what they had created. Being a mother had completed her in more ways than she imagined. It had given her a new perspective and a new life, especially with the love of her life by her side. John and Madison had gotten married a couple of months after reconnecting. They eloped and had a few close friends as witnesses, but kept it private and intimate. After all it was only about them and no one else.

Eight months later she gave birth to their little boy Charlie and continued to write and record songs with her husband's support. They moved to a nice property out of the city that had lots of land around it and wonderful farming neighbours. With a home studio set up and John's videography abilities, they spent their time, when not playing with Charlie, being creative and working together on everything. They didn't need a huge house like so many rich celebrities, instead opting for a lovely four-bedroom farm house, that they spent time renovating as a way of grounding themselves in reality.

Madison's career still went well, with a few more hits being delivered and one being co-written with John. They had set up a video channel online and were getting so much traffic that it was almost worthwhile focusing just on that instead of everything else. The money they brought in was going to trust funds for the children and a new organisation they were setting up to give away to select charities. That organisation was still in its infancy but once up and running would be a full time job. They already had more money than they needed to live their life.